by Nancy Mehl
Kaely didn’t know much about him. Her mother had only mentioned him once, right after they got married. According to Marcie, Rod was the antithesis of her father. Supposedly, his kindness and love had healed her. Until it didn’t.
Jason explained what he could, but his information was filtered through Marcie’s bitterness, so it was hard to know if they were hearing the whole truth. According to Marcie, when she got sick, Rod took off. His first wife had died of cancer, and Rod’s explanation was that “he couldn’t go through that again.” If Marcie was telling the truth, it seemed good ol’ Rod’s wedding vow about sickness and health had been conditional. The jig was up should his wife actually become ill. What a jerk.
Since her first husband’s arrest, Kaely’s mom had become extremely negative toward everything and everyone. Her anger brought with it myriad physical complaints. Kaely knew they were not much more than a cry for attention. However, now that she was really sick, Kaely wondered how it would affect her mother’s personality. Whatever she encountered, Kaely hoped she was ready for it. She was determined to treat her mother with compassion. Still, a part of her wanted to back the car out of the driveway and race back to St. Louis before anyone knew she was here. She could feel a surge of adrenaline urging her to flee. But all choices faded as the front door of the house opened and Jason stepped out on the porch. As he waved at her, a big smile on his face, she felt embarrassed about her momentary panic.
She grabbed her purse and got out of the car. “Hey, bro!”
Jason came bounding down the steps like an excited puppy. She marveled again at how much they looked alike. Although there was more blond in his hair than in Kaely’s auburn locks, they had the same dark eyes. Considering how he’d wanted nothing to do with his family when he left home, the difference in her brother over the past few months was nothing if not miraculous. She credited his newfound faith for most of the changes she saw in him.
As soon as he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so glad you came,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”
The time they’d spent together in St. Louis had been brief, but Kaely had really enjoyed it. Truthfully, she had to admit she’d missed him too.
“Back atcha,” she said, suddenly feeling emotional. She blinked back tears she hadn’t expected.
“Ah, sis. Don’t start or you’ll get me goin’.” He let her go and took a step back. “Where are your bags?”
“I . . . I’m not staying here, Jason,” she said. “I’ve got a room at a B-and-B a couple of miles down the road.”
Jason crossed his arms over his chest. A defensive move. “I’m sorry. I thought I made it clear that Mom needs someone with her all the time now. I’ve been taking care of her for the past month, but I need a break. I’d hoped you could stay here for now while I get some time to myself. Frankly, I’m exhausted.”
Kaely took a quick breath, pulling in icy air that made her cough. She struggled to regain her voice. “You didn’t say you wanted me to move in with Marcie. I can’t do it. I just can’t.” A thought popped into her head. “Besides, I already paid for the first few nights, Jason. It’s too late to cancel.” Surely that would get her off the hook. As soon as she said it, she realized how lame it sounded. If Jason really needed a rest, Kaely had to find a way to help him. This was their mother. Not just his. “Can’t I stay with her during the day? Help her get ready for bed and then go to the B-and-B?”
“No, Jessie. Mom is really weak. She might need help getting to the bathroom in the middle of the night.”
“Surely Marcie’s insurance covers home health care. If not, I can pitch in financially.”
Rather than answer her, Jason just stared down at the ground.
“She won’t let anyone in the house she doesn’t know.” Kaely stated it matter-of-factly. She’d forgotten. That was Marcie. Ever since Des Moines, she wouldn’t allow strangers in her home. “If we need to get help, Jason, we will. We can’t let her call all the shots. This isn’t just about her. We may have to override any objections.”
“I agree, but right now is not the time to confront her, Jessie.”
“All right, but at some point we’ll have to broach the subject.” It looked like Kaely was going to have to give in to her mother’s demands. She didn’t have a choice. You win again, Marcie.
“Okay, look. I’ll make you a deal. You quit calling me Jessie, and I’ll stay with Marcie.”
“She hates it that you call her by her first name, you know.”
Kaely shook her head. “She hasn’t really been my mother for a long time. I’m more comfortable dealing with her as one adult to another. I’m not trying to be cruel. It helps me to keep a balanced attitude.”
“And what about how it makes her feel?”
“Oh, come on, Jason. She hasn’t shown any interest in me for years. Maybe someday I’ll be able to call her Mom again. But that day hasn’t arrived yet.” Kaely endeavored to switch the subject. “When are you going back to Colorado?”
“I don’t know. Mom’s too sick. I can’t leave yet.”
“You’ve stayed at the house all this time?”
“Yeah.” He sighed, and Kaely saw the weariness in his face. “Look, I don’t expect you to stay with her twenty-four hours a day. I’ll come back in the evenings to cook supper, and if you need a night off, I’ll come over. But maybe not for a couple of days?”
“You might as well take my reservation at the B-and-B. Online it looks like a really nice place. You should enjoy it.”
A smile spread across his face, reminding Kaely of a slow-moving sunrise.
“Thanks,” he said. “You have no idea how great that sounds.” He laughed lightly. “I guess I can call you Kaely, but then you might have to call me Joe. Joe Tucker. That’s the name I used so no one would know who I really was.”
“But you’ve gone back to Jason Oliphant. Why?”
“Because it’s been a long time since Dad got locked up. People forget, Jess . . . I mean, Kaely. Have you thought about taking back your name too?”
“I’m an FBI agent, Jason. Trust me, no one’s forgotten Dad’s name in the Bureau. Can we get inside before I die of hypothermia and it doesn’t matter what my name is?”
Jason laughed. “Okay. Suitcases?”
Kaely turned and reached inside her car, flipping the switch that unlocked the back of the SUV. “Suitcase,” she said. “I know how to travel light. Comes in handy when we have a case out of town.”
Jason grinned. “So being an FBI agent is really all about learning to pack efficiently?”
Kaely nodded. “It’s the most important part. We go through weeks of training at Quantico.”
Jason burst out laughing. “Okay, okay. I’ll get your suitcase. Let’s get inside. I think I’ve lost the feeling in my feet and hands.”
Kaely waited until he had her suitcase, then she grabbed her purse and her “Go Bag.” That bag went everywhere with her. It held what she would need if she were called into an unplanned situation that required her to work. The bag contained a couple of changes of clothing, should a case require her to stay overnight or go undercover. In addition, there were a few other items she could use to hide her identity: sunglasses, hats, and a couple of wigs. It also held eye protection, hearing protection, an extra magazine pouch, additional magazines, handcuffs, a bulletproof vest, and her FBI raid jacket.
Inside the larger bag, she also had a smaller tote that contained several files. She was investigating some ongoing cases on her own. Although she wasn’t officially allowed to work up profiles since she wasn’t with Quantico anymore, Solomon had a few SACs he was close to who contacted him from time to time, asking for Kaely’s help. But that was on the down-low. All field offices were supposed to work with the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico, however some of Kaely’s anonymous tips had brought closure to crimes that had stumped the police. She couldn’t help working profiles. It was who she was.
She followed Jason to the front door of the h
ouse. Kaely’s heart pounded in her chest. What was it with parents? They brought out reactions no one else could. If Kaely could only see her mother as someone she could analyze without emotion, life would be much simpler. But somehow being around Marcie made Kaely feel as if she were the one being profiled—and the results weren’t flattering.
Jason opened the door and ushered Kaely into a cozy living room with comfortable furniture and a fireplace. Thankfully, someone had started a fire. Kaely put her purse on the floor near the couch and hurried over to the welcome heat. She began to thaw a little, but she couldn’t stop shaking . . . and lack of heat wasn’t the main reason she trembled. Kaely hated being afraid. It made her angry, and she could feel her irritation growing.
“Hello, Jessie.”
At the sound of her mother’s voice, Kaely spun around, determined to stand her ground. But what she saw made her resolve vanish. Her mother stood before her. Gaunt, thin, and sallow. A shadow of who she’d once been. It was obvious she was wearing a wig. Kaely’s determination to confront her melted away. One thing was clear. No matter what, Kaely couldn’t walk away now.
“See, I told you,” Georgie whispered.
three
Hi, Marcie,” Kaely said, mustering every ounce of control she could. She walked over to her mother and hugged her. She was shocked to feel Marcie’s bones through her clothes. The embrace she received in return was perfunctory and quick. Exactly what Kaely had expected.
“I hope you had a pleasant trip,” her mother said, wrestling herself out of her daughter’s grasp. “I told Jason you didn’t need to come, but he doesn’t listen to me.”
“You should have called me yourself,” Kaely said gently. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”
Her mother frowned. “Why? You’re not a doctor. What could you do?”
Kaely pushed down the frustration that bubbled up inside her. “Not the point. We’re family, remember?”
One of her mother’s carefully drawn eyebrows arched. “Yes, Jessie. I understand family. I’m not certain you do.”
Kaely’s sharp intake of breath was involuntary. She’d called and written so many times and never received a response in return.
“Let me show you to your room,” Jason said, stopping Kaely from the sharp retort that almost slipped from her lips.
He picked up Kaely’s suitcase and nudged her toward the hallway. She gulped down the bitter words she wanted to throw back at her mother, grabbed her purse and her bag, and silently followed him.
“Is she out of her mind?” she whispered to her brother when they were out of earshot. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to reach out to her?”
Jason opened the door to the room where she would be staying. “I know. Mom has her own view of reality, sis. Especially now. When you face your own mortality, it can change the way you see things. I don’t think she can deal with the knowledge that she turned her back on us after Dad was arrested, so she’s simply changed the facts to suit her needs.” He shook his head. “Trying to reason with her won’t help. Just apologize.”
Kaely’s mouth dropped open. “Apologize? For what?”
Jason took her by the arm and pulled her into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. “Hush,” he said sharply. “She’s not doing well, Jess . . . I mean, Kaely. Can’t you tell by looking at her? I didn’t ask you to come here so you could find some kind of justice. I called you because our mother needs us.” His dark eyes searched hers. “Why can’t you let the past go after all this time? Forgive her? I did.”
Jason’s words were like a sharp blow. She had every right to be upset with Marcie. Jason’s comments felt self-righteous. But, at the same time, they brought uncomfortable conviction. She’d tried to put the past behind her and was surprised at the resentment that slithered up from somewhere deep inside.
“Remember when I called her from St. Louis to tell her what happened to you at the hands of . . . that man?” Jason asked.
Kaely nodded.
“She was shocked. Really upset. I think she realized she could have lost you.”
Kaely snorted. “So you said. But she wouldn’t speak to me at the time, nor did she call me later. We’ve never even talked about it.”
“Look, I think she was just overwhelmed. You know she can’t handle confrontation or displays of emotion. But I told you then and I’ll tell you now, she was devastated.” He frowned at her. “How are you coping, by the way? When I was in St. Louis, I kept waiting for you to break down. Get emotional. You went through something traumatizing, but you really kept it together—too well, in my opinion.”
“I’m fine, Jason. I really am.” She shrugged. “I dealt with it in my own way. I moved on.”
He stared at her in a way that made Kaely feel uncomfortable. Was Georgie right? Had she actually faced the situation or was she simply ignoring it? She sighed inwardly. She needed to keep her focus on the here and now. She had no choice but to keep the past where it belonged. In the past.
“I guess I need to work on my attitude,” Kaely said. “Maybe there’s just something between mothers and daughters.” She sat down on the bed and tried to rub away the ache in the back of her neck. Another challenge. A new giant. “I can do this,” she said, not sure she meant it. “I have to know I tried.”
Jason nodded. “I feel the same way. Mom seems to accept me, but she still keeps me at arm’s length. And then once in a while, she drops those ‘mom bombs.’”
Kaely knew exactly what he meant. A few words linked together with animus, aimed at the heart. Marcie could cut her children down with incredible precision. Kaely constantly fought to keep those comments out of her mind.
“How will you ever find a boyfriend with that horrid red hair?”
“You need to find some kind of job where you don’t need any special talents or abilities.”
Kaely pushed the words back into the vault where she kept them, before she could feel the deep wounds her mother’s criticism had caused. Kaely forced herself to concentrate on her brother. “You said the doctor is trying an experimental treatment?”
Jason nodded. “She wasn’t responding to the chemo. I guess this treatment is producing some good results.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “It’s her last chance, Kaely.”
Kaely had realized it was true when she’d hugged Marcie. There wasn’t much of her left.
Jason sat down on a chair that matched a desk pushed against the wall. He flashed a quick smile. “I’ve missed you, you know.”
“Sorry it’s been so tough for you. You hadn’t been home long from St. Louis when she called you, right?”
He nodded and exhaled slowly. “Yeah. A little over a month. I had to scramble to make arrangements to come here.” He studied her for a moment. “I’m really happy you’re here,” he said quietly. “I keep saying that, don’t I?”
She grinned at him. “Yeah, but that’s okay. I like hearing it.”
Kaely gazed around the room. It was plain, but nice. The bed felt comfortable, and she was thankful for the desk where she could work, if she had the time. Then she noticed a large bookcase on the other wall, near the bed. “Oh my goodness,” she said in a half whisper, “my books.” She got up and walked over to it. There were books she hadn’t seen since she’d left home when she was eighteen. “Marcie told me she’d gotten rid of these,” Kaely said, running her hand across the spines of beloved novels she’d thought were gone.
When Kaely was thirteen, she’d discovered Agatha Christie. She’d spent her entire allowance on every novel she could find. She also had the Sherlock Holmes series by Arthur Conan Doyle and the Father Brown mysteries written by G. K. Chesterton. Her father had given her the complete set of novels by Charles Dickens. The characters were so rich. So memorable. They’d stayed with her all these years.
“I don’t get it, Jason. She acts like she couldn’t care less if she ever talks to me again, but she keeps my books.” Kaely tilted her head. “Unless she just wanted them
for herself.”
Jason laughed. “She’s not a reader, Kaely. You know that. She never was.”
“I want to think she kept these because of me, but I . . . I just can’t.” She went over and sat back down on the bed. “Has she said any more about this Rod guy?”
“No, not much. She talked about it when it happened, but now she won’t let me bring it up.” He shook his head. “You two are more alike than you realize. You both have this talent for not dealing with things that are hurtful.” He sought Kaely’s eyes. “I worry what will happen if one day everything you’re trying to avoid decides it doesn’t want to be ignored anymore.”
“Two husbands,” Kaely said, tuning out Jason’s admonition. “The first one turns out to be an infamous serial killer, and the second one walks out when she needs him the most.”
“Yeah.” Jason leaned back in his chair. “She’s had it tough. I’m trying to cut her some slack. It isn’t always easy, believe me.”
“I’ll do my best, Jason, but you may have to pull me back from the edge a few times while I’m here.”
Her brother chuckled. “I’ll do what I can, but I think that may work both ways.”
“I’ll only see you for supper?”
“For now. Let me recharge a bit, and we’ll set up a schedule that will be fair for both of us. I’m gonna take your reservation at the B-and-B, but I suspect it’s rather expensive. There’s a decent motel not far from here. I can book a room for us. We can take turns staying there.”
“You can’t sleep here? I mean, after you’re rested up?”
“This is the only spare bedroom, and crashing on the couch is out. Mom spends quite a bit of time there. Sometimes she sleeps on it when she’s really hurting. It’s firm and it seems to help her. But like I said, I’ll show up every evening to make sure you two don’t starve to death. It will give us a chance to be together. And if you need to work or just need time for yourself, call me. I’ll come over.” His lips thinned. “I don’t intend to go home until she gets better or . . .”