“We, we need to get moving,” Jake said loudly. “It’s coming back and we can’t stay here.”
I slowly released Cindy and she straightened up and looked down at me. She placed her hands on my face and kissed me.
“We’ll pick this up when we get somewhere safe,” she quivered. “I love you.”
I didn’t know what to make of that. I smiled and grabbed her hand then rushed out of the culvert as wisps of cool wind blew against my face.
“Up here,” Jake called.
Following after him, we climbed up the embankment and stopped. Flashes of lightning illuminated the abysmal landscape and I felt my stomach drop into the dirt. The car was gone. Twisted metal beams and all manner of debris was sprawled across the ground. There was nothing left standing except the frame of a farmhouse nearly half a mile away. It’s skeletal remains appeared and vanished with each crack of entwining electricity.
“That way,” Jake pointed.
At a jog, we took off toward the farmhouse. The tornado spiraled recklessly in the distance, sporadically shifting from side to side. Heavy wind gusts pushed against us with every step as the rain returned like a shower of nails.
I could hear the tornado brewing in the dark. Like a giant child throwing a temper tantrum in a glass room. It was coming back for a second round.
“Hurry up!” I shouted for no reason at all. Cindy had released my hand and was several steps ahead of me and Jake was a step or two behind her.
By the time I reached the rickety frame, Cindy was already searching the grounds with Jake. He was convinced they would have a cellar and I prayed he was right because we didn’t have time for a backup plan.
“Over here!” Cindy shouted.
On the far side of the farmhouse, where a few panels of wood stubbornly held on, there was a wooden door in the ground. I grabbed the iron handle and pulled it open and without a second thought we all climbed in.
“Close the latch,” Jake warned. “If not the storm is gonna rip the doors off.”
The old wooden steps that led into the basement creaked with every step we took. It was completely dark down there, but anything was better than what was about to happen outside. Holding onto Cindy, I made my way to the concrete floor one groaning step at a time.
“See if you can find a light,” I said as I blindly felt around.
There were rows of metal shelves with tools and collections of junk crammed on top of them. As I clumsily swept my hands through them a light erupted behind me and I froze.
“Found one,” Cindy said calmly.
The little gas lantern burned like a star. It cast its glow around the room and I felt a tiny bit of relief. Men were never meant to linger in dark places.
Above us the war had started again. Wind pounded the door as the sound of the collapsing farmhouse shook the ground. We were safe for now, but we were in for one hell of a night.
“How long do you think it’ll last?” Cindy asked.
“I’m surprised it’s been going for this long.” I took the lantern from Cindy and found a clearing on the floor. Grunting, I sat down and leaned my back against one of the shelves while Cindy sat leaning on my legs.
Jake looked around the room for a minute then joined us. “It’s like it’s looking for us or something,” he griped.
“What?”
“I mean we beat it. We made it out of the car and into that damn pipe. Now it’s back, it just won’t go away. Do you think…do you think we’re supposed to die?”
I didn’t respond, I sat on the floor in silence just happy to be wherever I was. It felt odd, having accepted my death and finding myself alive. It was like I’d been given a second chance.
Cindy leaned back and rested against my shoulder and I stroked her hair. She sighed in exhaustion then rubbed her hand across my face.
“I love you,” she whispered.
I smiled back, afraid to say the words, afraid of the silence she left me with after I proposed. Sure, it was out of the blue and born out of my fear of losing her. But that didn’t make it any less sincere.
We’d talked about getting married for years and just never got around to it. I thought she would’ve been happy, I thought those were the words she’d been waiting for since I met her. Maybe I’d waited too long, maybe it was too little too late.
Jake paced the floor anxiously. Every bump, every crash he looked up to the ceiling like it was going to cave in. I’d never seen him so frantic and I wondered if his mind would hold up all the way to Wyoming.
Wyoming, our promised sanctuary. What could I expect when we got there? Were we too late or was it just a pipe dream to begin with? There were so many moving parts, so many jobs that were dependent on others. I dragged us across the country betting on a plan that was never completely finished.
As the winds outside started to die the tapping of rain increased. There was something calming about it, peaceful even. It brought back some normalcy and I latched onto that feeling.
I closed my eyes and listened to the drumline of water. My mind wandered and thoughts of Brent drifted by. I missed him, I missed his level head and optimism. I couldn’t believe I’d never talk to him again.
I thought about his parents and wondered if they were even alive. He hadn’t said much about them since everything had happened and I think that was kinda his way of avoiding what was probably inevitable. We all had a lot we were avoiding.
It felt like years had passed since we left my apartment and headed to the club. That night was the last carefree night of my life. It was the last time all four of us would ever be together again. Disaster had a way of showing you that nothing was trivial.
“Is he sleeping?” Jake asked.
At first I thought I was dreaming. I was exhausted and I felt my self drifting away as I lay there. I’d been around the world in my mind, so Jake playing some part in my brain’s motion picture wasn’t shocking.
“Yeah, but keep your voice down,” Cindy replied and I felt her slide from under my arm.
I wasn’t dreaming and I was now deadly curious. Their hushed tones and tip-toeing about made my hairs stand on end. They tried to keep quiet, but everything echoed down in the basement.
“What are you thinking?” Jake growled in a menacing whisper. “Marriage?”
“I have to tell him.”
“Are you fucking crazy? Now, you want to tell him now?”
Cindy sighed and I could hear her pacing the floor.
“It’s killing me inside. I feel like shit, I deserve to be dead instead of Brent.”
“You love who you love,” Jake replied.
The sound of feet shuffling echoed then there was an awkward silence. I started to open my eyes, but just as I did a wet smacking noise sounded and Cindy giggled.
“He doesn’t have to know. He never needs to know. That was the deal when all of this started,” Jake continued.
“I can’t keep this up. I might die, he might die. He deserves to know the truth. I owe him at least that.”
“And what is the truth Cindy? What are you gonna tell him?”
Cindy took a long, deep breath. “I’ll tell him…I’ll tell him about us, that I, that I cheated.”
“And that’s all this was? I was just some mistake?”
“That’s not fair.”
As they argued back and forth I felt galaxies of emotions flood through my body. First I was breathless. It was a feeling I’d never experienced before, like the floor had suddenly vanished under me and I was free falling into darkness.
Why? I thought. Why wasn’t I good enough for her? How could she? I’d given her my all, my everything until there was nothing left of me. Why wasn’t that enough?
I felt sick to my stomach. My head spun and if my eyes weren’t already closed I probably would’ve passed out. I just wanted her to love me the way I loved her.
As quickly as those thoughts had formed they were replaced with a rage I didn’t think was possible. I clenched my fists at my side a
nd clamped my jaw like a bear trap. I wanted to hit something, I wanted to hit Jake. I felt like I could kill him at that moment.
What a two-faced little shit. I’d trusted him, treated him like a brother and he was nothing more than a snake. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I couldn’t believe what was happening.
My anger boiled, but I realized it was misplaced. Jake was an asshole, but he didn’t owe me anything, Cindy did. Cindy was the person I trusted, Cindy was the person I loved.
“Do whatever makes you happy Cindy. That’s what you always do,” Jake finished.
“You know how I feel about you. Don’t act like that.”
“Don’t act like what? I thought we meant something to each other. I thought you loved me.”
I’d heard enough. It was time for this to end. My anger was about to explode and I couldn’t just sit there anymore in silence.
Opening my eyes, I scuffled to my feet before either of them noticed me. “I thought you loved me too,” I barked in the harshest tone I could muster.
CHAPTER 22
STARING THROUGH THE WINDOW
Jake’s eyes looked like satellite dishes. His jaw dangled in shock and the stupid look on his face was perfectly fitting.
Cindy collapsed to the floor and started to cry, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I looked at her with nothing but hate, everything about her made my blood turn to lava.
“Max!” Jake found his voice first. “Max, I…I…”
“Save it asshole,” I snapped. “I could fucking kill you right now.”
Cindy looked up at me with eyes full of tears. She begged forgiveness without words, but I’d become hate.
“How could you!” I shouted.
“Max, just listen,” Jake said.
My hand shot out so fast I wasn’t sure it belonged to me. I struck Jake in the throat like a blade and he gagged then doubled over.
“Why!” I shouted back at Cindy. “I loved you. Why!”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Fuck your sorry. I was gonna marry you. Fuck!”
I slammed my hand into one of the wooden beams and roared. I felt like I could tear the entire foundation apart and bring the whole thing falling down on us. In the back of my mind, that seemed like the best thing to do.
“I…I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry Max.”
“You didn’t want to hurt me? What the hell did you think you were doing? I fucking hate you!”
I stormed off and headed toward the back of the basement. There was nothing she could say to me, nothing that would make this right. She’d thrown my life away for a pathetic, backstabbing coward.
“I’m sorry Max, I’m sorry,” she repeated over and over.
“Fuck you,” I grumbled.
Steaming, I found a chair crammed between two shelves and I sat down. I laid my face into my hands and closed my eyes, wishing it was all a dream. Maybe I’d bumped my head at work and none of this ever happened. Maybe the world was as it should be and Cindy was sitting at my side waiting for me to wake up. But I knew none of that was true, I was facing the biggest crisis of my life and it had nothing to do with the weather.
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I felt completely drained, like I didn’t have enough energy to care anymore. I just wanted to sleep, to escape my life even if it was only for an hour.
“Fuck,” I groaned silently.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. Nothing made sense, nothing was how it was supposed to be. But here I was, alone, realizing that the life I’d build had been one elaborate façade and I’d laid my trust in the hands of someone who’d never done the same with me.
Minutes, hours melted away in silence. I tried to sleep, but I was restless, tormented by the thought of them together. My mind tortured me and I found myself staring at the wall in some kind of zombie-like trance.
Cindy cried through the night. Jake tried to console her, but she pushed him away. I watched from the corner, stewing in my own hate like softened potatoes. I just wanted both of them gone, I never wanted to see them again.
Once the rain and wind stopped we were left with a silence that felt like a brick wall. I was trapped, stuck in a basement with the two people I hated most in the world. It was odd how quickly reality changed directions.
“We should check outside,” Jake said suddenly, as if everything was normal. “If it’s clear we need to get moving.”
I didn’t reply. Jake looked at me then headed up the steps toward the doors. Grunting, he unlatched the bolt and heaved. The doors flopped open and a shower of light shot down into the basement. I squinted and shrieked away, the darkness and shadows were my friends now.
“It’s clear,” he shouted back optimistically.
I blocked the rays with my hand and turned my face away. I wasn't going anywhere, I was perfectly fine where I was.
“We should leave," Cindy whispered to me.
I glowered at her then looked away, her face was too painful to see. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do that would make me forgive her. As far as I was concerned we were strangers.
Sighing, she reached out and put her hand on my shoulder. Her touch felt like ice, like death and I jumped away without saying a word.
The wooden steps creaked as Jake returned downstairs. His clumsy footsteps clunked on each plank like he could only be that loud purposefully. With a deep breath, he scanned the basement then his eyes stopped on me with an arrogant look on his face.
"The weather looks fine, it's sunny. If we go now we might make it all the way before we have to stop," he said, sounding as smug as ever.
Cindy clenched her jaw then turned back to me. She tried to look me in the eyes, but I avoided her glance. Seeing her was just too hard.
"Max,” she started. “I know you hate me right now, but this is stupid. Let's just get out of here, let's get somewhere safe. We can't stay here."
"I'm not going anywhere with you, either of you. Just, just leave me here."
"What?"
"You heard me. Why do you think I’d want to leave with you?”
"Max, we have to go. You said you’d take us, you said you knew somewhere safe."
I glared at her and if I could kill with looks, she'd be dead already. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. But every bit of love I’d ever felt for her had turned to hate.
I stood up and she staggered backwards like she thought I was going to hit her or something. I laughed, then turned around and started rummaging through the shelf behind me.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
I didn't reply. I found a cardboard box and ripped a piece off. Then I grabbed a screwdriver from the shelf and started to meticulously carve into it. Every line I drew felt the tear that had been ripped through my heart. It was a painful exercise, but some things had to be done.
“Here,” I said and offered her the awkward square.
"What is this?" she asked and took the jagged piece from my hand. “Dubois?”
"It’s where you need to go to be safe and now you know as much as I do."
Narrowing her eyes, she sighed. She fumbled with the cardboard between her fingers. Her eyes flickered from the address to my stoic face over and over. Like a boa, her hand coiled around the lifeline I’d given her as she took a deep breath and frowned.
“Don't do this," she mumbled.
"You did this. You and that asshole I called my friend."
"I'm sorry Max. Please, please come with me, I don’t want to do this without you."
"You already did this without me."
"What can I do? How can I fix this? Please, I’ll do anything."
"You can die for all I care! Or at least get the fuck out of here!”
"Hey!" Jake snapped.
"What are you gonna do? You can die right along with her, hell you can die first and if you say another fucking word I’m gonna beat your head into the floor."
Cindy started to cry. She covered he
r face with her hands and almost collapsed. Jake wrapped his arm around her and started to whisper into her ear, but she shoved him away.
“Leave me alone!” she shouted and stormed off toward the stairs.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jake turned to me and asked.
"Me?! Are you serious?”
“Yes you, you fucking asshole!”
I couldn’t hold back any longer, I took a swing and my fist found his nose, which squished under the impact. Jake stumbled backward in shock and grabbed his face. Blood trickled down his lips and he gawked in disbelief.
“Just go!” I roared. “Take her and get the hell out of here! You got what you wanted. You can make it there on your own. You don’t need me, so just leave!”
Jake stared at me for a long time. His look was unreadable, but I stared back with death in my eyes. There was nothing else to be said, no bonds to be repaired, no friendships to be mended. Jake was dead to me.
“Max,” Cindy cried out in a shaky voice.
“I said leave!” I shouted then shoved the shelf beside me.
It toppled over and fell into the next shelf, sending an assortment of tools crashing to the ground. Glasses shattered into millions of pieces and it felt like I’d finally found a home for my rage.
“Get out of here! Leave me alone!”
I pushed the next shelf and swatted at anything I could reach. Boxes of tools and old pictures flipped onto their sides and slid across the floor. I kicked at them and spun around looking for something else to attack.
The basement had come to life. It sounded like the tornado had spun its way downstairs to finish the job. Everything I destroyed was a burden, a pain lifted from my chest.
Cindy screeched as she jumped to avoid a box of dusty picture frames. Jake stood off to the side in shock, probably taking joy in my temper tantrum he orchestrated. He was lucky I didn’t continue to take my anger out on him. I just wanted them to leave, I didn’t want to see their faces.
“Max!” Cindy shouted so loudly it made me pause.
I turned toward her and the face she made nearly shattered my heart. For a moment she was my best friend again, she was the love of my life and the only person that mattered. For a moment she was heartbroken and looking to me for help. But it was only a moment.
The Mayflower Project: Deconstruction Book Two (A Post-Apocalyptic Thriller) Page 13