by Ann Aguirre
“Underground too?”
He shrugged. “The Freaks took Nassau, and College wouldn’t prepare, so I doubt they’ll fare any better.” The sharp way he said the words, it was almost like he wanted to hurt me.
“Why are you so mad at me?” There was no point in ignoring it. I had hoped he’d get over the sadness or whatever had him acting this way, if I gave him time, but it didn’t seem to be working.
“I’m not.”
I swallowed the urge to call him a liar. “Then who are you mad at?”
“Myself.”
“You feel bad about Pearl,” I guessed.
“She managed to keep safe, after her dad died. I show up — and in one day, I get her killed.”
Much as I wanted to, I couldn’t deny our part in it. At this point, it didn’t matter whether I’d liked her. I’d hardly known her, and in truth, neither did he. He only remembered the brat she used to be.
“Does it help anything for you to feel this way?”
“No. But I can’t seem to stop either.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
He stared at me for such a long time that I grew uneasy. And then he asked, “Are we still partners? I know Silk put us together, but would you choose me now?”
As before, I had the feeling he meant something different with the word. “I don’t trust anyone like I do you.”
By the way his face closed, it wasn’t the response he wanted. I sensed I’d let him down somehow, but he didn’t make it easy. He started poking at the fire, and the question weighed between us in the silence until the other two returned.
* * *
Waiting was tough. We divided up the work, marking the days by cutting wood, hunting, cooking, and turning our shelter into a decent nest. In trunks in the sleeping room, we found some fabrics we put to good use making proper rag pallets. I laid them before the fire, grateful for such small touches of home.
Tegan got stronger visibly. This work she handled better than walking all day. As for me, I missed patrolling. It was too cold for that to serve any purpose, though. Anything that might hurt us would get lost in the snow or freeze.
As the days rolled on, game got scarce and we ate canned goods some days. Spam turned out to be a hunk of slimy meat. That gave me pause, but once we sliced it, the stuff smelled and tasted fine. I concluded the goo must be to keep it fresh.
Fade fell deeper into himself, more like he’d been in the enclave before I got to know him. He had stopped reading the book to us, and I didn’t have the heart to ask for the ending when he clearly had lost interest. I picked it up sometimes and touched the pages gently, marveling at its age.
To pass the time, I borrowed Tegan’s letter book — the one her mom had used — and started teaching Stalker to read. He had a good head for learning. In just a few days, he memorized the alphabet, then the words followed swiftly. Sometimes I fell asleep listening to him murmur, “A is for Apple…”
Often I felt Fade’s eyes on me as I sat with Stalker, but I didn’t look up. If he didn’t have the courage to say what was on his mind, I couldn’t help with whatever was bothering him. The other two took to chopping wood during Stalker’s lessons.
Eventually, I had to admit, “I think that’s all I can teach you.”
Fade could probably do more but he wasn’t likely to offer to spend extra time with Stalker. He closed the book, stowed it, and stood. “Maybe I can return the favor.”
“How?”
“Come on.”
He led the way into the sleeping room, which was totally empty now. We’d burned or tossed out everything the former residents had left behind. That left us a good-sized space, though cold, compared with the front room.
“What are we doing?” I was no longer afraid of him. Whatever he had been in the ruins, he had sworn to start over clean, and so far, he was keeping his word. That was good enough for me. If anyone understood not wanting to be judged for past actions, I did. I’d always be haunted by the way I’d let them kill the blind brat, wrapped in fearful silence as the guards took him away.
“I thought I’d show you some moves. You’re good, but predictable.”
I brightened. It had been ages since I did any training, and sitting around would make me soft. “Don’t use your blades. I’m not fast enough.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Just hands and feet.”
We practiced for a while, but I just couldn’t get it. I was rusty and slow, and it made me angry. Some Huntress. He came around behind me to show me how to position my arms for the strike. My hands arced downward. Holding my daggers at the right angle, I’d slice a nice strip of someone’s chest.
“What’re you doing?” Fade asked from the doorway.
I turned. “Training. Want to go a round?”
He shook his head and slipped away.
That soon became our custom, and my fighting improved as I faced off against Stalker. Training made me feel better about our chances. I’d spent my life training to protect people; I couldn’t just stop.
After one particularly tough bout, I sat panting, elbows on my knees. As I glanced up, I caught Stalker smiling at me. It was such a break from his usual expression, I tilted my head with a questioning look.
“You’re good,” he said. “Truly good, dove. I like fighting you.”
The way he said fighting, it seemed to hold another layer. I raised a brow. “Dove?”
“It’s a bird.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest as he sat down beside me. “And why did you call me that?”
Stalker leaned back, resting on his arms. The room was cold, so his breath puffed out, curling before him. “I’d see them in the city, nesting in the broken buildings. They were small and fragile looking with their gray wings, but they could fly up where none of the other animals could hurt them.”
“Not even a Wolf,” I said softly.
I got the comparison. Though I looked weak, I had unexpected defenses. I couldn’t mind being likened to a creature that soared so beautifully on the wind. I decided I wouldn’t object to the nickname.
* * *
By the time the thaw came, we were all ready to move on. The little building had provided us shelter, and we were grateful. It was also small for the four of us when we had to stay near the fire pit for warmth.
The break had also given me a chance to get used to the sun without such burning heat. Now I felt ready to face it; I was used to staying awake during the day at least.
The morning we left, I took a long look at the place. We’d made it cozy and habitable, but unless we wanted to stay here, just the four of us, for the rest of our lives, we had to move on while the weather allowed. Since Fade didn’t know how far we had to go, we might need a long time to get there.
The ground was wet beneath my feet, and everything smelled fresh and clean. A little bite lingered in the air, but through my layers of clothing, I hardly noticed. We set out early and cut back toward the river. It shone silver in the distance with tall trees beside it. I had spent a good portion of the winter months asking the names of things I didn’t know, and they were all patient with me.
Now I could identify just about everything my eyes touched on as we walked. It would be hard traveling, but we could eat some of the plants, Tegan said. Fish leaped in the water, rippling the surface in telltale rings. Things could be worse.
We had been walking for five days, and that made our sixth, when the trees came into view around a turn in the river. I had seen a few here and there, but these lived in a village of their own. They clustered tight, throwing deep shadows across ground littered with fallen limbs and leaves. It gave off a rich, earthy smell, but better than dirt, and more rare.
I listened, enchanted, to the bird song. Bright flutters of color in red and blue among the green leaves made me cant my head in hope of seeing them fly free, burst upward, and soar on the wind. They didn’t oblige me, but continued to sing from the branches. Other sounds lay over the top of the rushing ri
ver, chatter of animals and scrabbling claws. I had never heard anything so lovely.
“We’ll find rabbits here,” Fade said.
Thanks to constant review of the letter book with Stalker, I knew R was for rabbit, and the picture matched the animals we set snares for, more or less. I nodded. “Should we do a little hunting along the way?”
“Let’s. Meet back here when you’re done. Come on, Tegan.” She gave me a puzzled glance as Fade strode deeper into the woods.
He had been doing that more and more lately, choosing her company over mine. At first, I thought it was because he didn’t want her to be alone with Stalker, but we’d been together for a while. If she still feared him, there was no hope for her.
“Let’s go get some meat for the pot, dove.” Stalker angled in the opposite direction, still into the trees, but away from the path Fade had chosen.
Blissful coolness spread over my skin as I entered the green-cast shade. Everything hushed as if the trees filtered sound as well as light. I could hear my footsteps, though I prided myself on my stealth. But maybe that only applied underground. Out here, I cracked every branch I stepped on.
As we went, Stalker laid his portion of the snares we’d made from stuff we found back at the old building. Then he led me away because the rabbits wouldn’t come running past if they smelled us close by. I didn’t mind this part of hunting; it was similar to what we’d done in the tunnels, only we hadn’t been catching rabbits.
He held up a hand when he thought we’d come far enough. I stood quiet, waiting for him to explain why I had to be silent. And then he stepped into my space, pushed me flat against a tree, and put his mouth on mine. He didn’t do it like Fade. His lips moved more and he pressed into me. I didn’t know how I felt about it, so I shoved him back.
“I thought you wanted me to.”
“Why?” I demanded.
“You taught me to read. And we spent all that time together training. I thought you knew it was an excuse to be close to you.”
I thought of all the times he’d stood behind me, his head near mine, hands on mine as he positioned my body, and I understood. But for me, it had been practice. I had missed any other meaning in it. When I thought of him, I admired his speed with the blades and the power of his scars. I didn’t know what else there might be. I’d never even considered it. He was my companion, like Tegan, but not like Fade. Nobody would ever be like Fade. That much, I knew.
“Why me? Why not Tegan?”
“I think Fade wants her,” he said with a shrug.
The words cut into me. Was that the reason he sought her out so often? Not just protecting her from Stalker. Maybe it was more.
He went on, “And even if he doesn’t, she’s just a Breeder. She doesn’t have anything else to offer. You, you’re like me.”
I didn’t know if that was true, or whether I wanted it to be. “You mean a Hunter?”
“Yes. You’re strong.”
My marks said I was anyway. Some I’d received on my naming day, and others I’d received in battle, as a true Huntress would. Someday I might even have people to protect again, if this journey ever ended.
I reached up, tentative, and touched my fingertips to his scars. Almost since I first saw him, I’d been curious. From the texture of his skin, they hadn’t used a hot blade to seal them. They had tasked him to heal them on his own. In its way, this was a kind of strength too.
“You don’t mind?”
His eyes closed. “I never let anybody do that before.”
“Why not?”
“It would look like weakness.”
That was a very Hunter thing to say. I understood that from the inside out, even if we’d grown up in different worlds. If you wanted people to take you seriously, you couldn’t let them think you were soft. You did whatever it took to prove you weren’t.
When I dropped my hand, he caught it and used it to pull me closer. Warmth curled through me when he lifted me up and ran his lips down my jaw to my neck. The feeling shook me, so I put my hands on his shoulders. I intended to shove or kick, something to remind him he couldn’t handle me this way. Instead, I found myself gazing down into his pale eyes. They didn’t look cold to me anymore; instead they shone like the sun on snow. For an instant, I saw Fade in his place, smiling up at me. And the sensation split until I couldn’t decide what I felt.
“We should—”
“Check the traps,” he finished.
Stalker set me on my feet, and I led the way, swirling with confusion. The snares only had one rabbit, but it was enough. So I collected the rest of them and he stowed them in his bag. Tegan and Fade met us in the appointed place with a couple more.
“How’d you do?” Fade asked.
And my cheeks burned as if he could see what we’d been doing. But for all I knew, maybe he had been doing the same with Tegan. Maybe the flush in her cheeks didn’t come from cold. They could’ve been pressed together in the shadow of the trees, whispering secrets. The idea didn’t make me like her less, but I did feel sad and heavy, as if I’d lost something without ever knowing what it was.
Nightmare
Two weeks after we left the little building, we found something worse, worse than the big ruins by far.
The smell hit me first. I lifted my head, scenting, and then the river turned. A faded gray length of poured rock angled into the ruins. Compared with the others, these were small, but raddled with damage. Many had rotted away or crumbled to rubble.
And the place reeked of Freaks. It was the first time since heading north that we’d seen any signs of life. I’d started to wonder whether we were the only ones left. Scary thought. But this frightened me more.
Because it was nearly dark — time when we started looking for a place to rest — I could see them, shambling in the distance. That was their territory; I sensed it in my bones. I wasn’t sure where we might be safe, but I was positive we shouldn’t pass. “Let’s not go through there.”
Fade turned. “You smell it too?”
“We all do,” Tegan muttered. “It’s disgusting.”
Stalker gazed into the distance, one hand shading his eyes. “If we cut east, we can go around it.”
“That’ll take us off course,” Fade said. “But I think we’d better.”
I didn’t say so, but it wasn’t like we had a course. Another path, overgrown with grass, led east. It had been made of that poured rock too, but time and rain had worn it down, so it was mostly broken, more dirt than anything else. It led away from the river, but maybe we could get back to it once we skirted the danger. Unless those ruins had a small human population, the Freaks must be preying on one another. That would make them more desperate and more feral than the ones we’d fought.
Or they could be hunting … like we did. The comparison worried me. I didn’t want to find them like us in any fashion.
“I can’t believe they’re here too,” I said.
“They’re everywhere.” Fade’s voice was grim, his face cast in sharp relief by the rising moon. It silvered the world, making it soft and cool.
A grim thought — everywhere we went, we would be hiding from them, running, or fighting. Maybe we should’ve stayed at the little house by the river. At least there hadn’t been any Freaks in the area, and we’d had food. But we’d all wanted to try to find the place Fade’s sire talked about, where things were better. I was beginning to think it was hopeless.
Coming over the next rise, I froze. There were ten Freaks, and at first they seemed as surprised as we were. Still hideous, still terrible, but they looked healthier than the ones we’d left behind. The Freak hunting party raced toward us; they dropped their kills — animals, as I’d guessed — and snarled in vicious anticipation of bigger, sweeter meat. I whipped out my daggers.
“Get behind us,” I called to Tegan, but she had my club and she took a position beside me with fierce determination.
“I’ve been practicing with Fade,” she said.
There was no place
for her to hide here anyway. It hurt a bit when Fade and I didn’t go back-to-back like we used to, but I had other things to worry about. Stalker fell in on my other side, blades in place on his hands. The Freaks surrounded us, no doubt expecting an easy win. They couldn’t be used to prey that fought back.
These weren’t as hungry as others we’d encountered, so they attacked with their claws first, teeth second. I used my elbows to block like Stalker had taught me while going for the quick slashes against their torsos. I didn’t have his speed, but I managed to avoid most of the hits and protect my chest. We each needed to take down two, and then split the difference.
Beside me, Tegan swung wide and hard; I gave her plenty of room. She drove them off while I caught them in the recoil. The world narrowed to the stab and punch, kick and thrust. Blood spattered. I swiped it from my eyes and kept fighting. I had no time to look at anyone else, now. These Freaks weren’t going down as fast as the others.
Kill them, Silk whispered in my head. Kill them all.
My Huntress nature emerged, sharp and clean, like a new knife rising from the hissing steam. These were smart. I saw in their eyes, as they tried to learn my tactics and lunged to test my reflexes. My daggers flashed in the moonlight, blood on silver, and my heart sang with each spin, each press of the attack. I hardly felt the wounds I took. I didn’t know how bad they were. I lost sight of everything until the last Freak fell. Fade killed it with a clean slash of its throat. Beneath the stars, on the grass, it showed dark as the night sky. The gurgling, choking breaths slowed, then stilled.
My breath came in hungry gulps. “Everyone all right?”
“Few cuts,” Stalker said. “Nothing serious.”
Fade smeared some blood off his palms and onto his shirt. “I’m fine.”
I turned to Tegan just as she crumpled. Fade caught her as she hit the ground. She dangled in his arms, pale and wan. Her eyes looked big and scared.
“Where are you hurt?” he demanded.
“Her leg,” I said softly. The fabric of her pants had torn, revealing a long gash on her upper thigh.
With my dagger, I cut the bottom of her pants into strips and Fade tied off the wound. It helped with the bleeding, but she didn’t look good. That won’t heal on its own, I thought. The claws had rent her flesh deep.