Collapsing into his office chair, Guy tried to rein in his turbulent thoughts and emotions. Vance stood watching him for a few more seconds before giving in and taking the extra chair. He was barely settled before Guy started talking.
“I was wrong about Charlotte.”
“In what way?” Vance asked.
Guy ran his hands through his hair. The sudden frown on Vance’s face said he did not miss how they were shaking. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Guy stared at his desk. “She does not work here. She is a patient. One of Myles’ patients.”
Vance worked with individuals recovering from traumatic experiences in his practice, but he knew Myles because they had all done rotations in the oncology ward during medical school. His posture changed. Instead of being almost hostile toward his friend, his shoulders sagged. “Guy, I’m sorry. Do you know what type of cancer it is?”
He shook his head. “Myles could not tell me anything. I would have to ask Charlotte.”
“Are you going to?”
Guy lifted his hands in defeat. “I do not know.” He shook his head. “If she had wanted me to know, she would have told me, oui?”
“Or,” Vance said, “it may be that you two barely know each other and a cancer diagnosis isn’t the first thing you tell someone.” Vance’s voice was sympathetic, but he seemed confused by the situation and by Guy’s reaction. “How did you find out about this anyway? I can’t imagine Myles would just offer up information like that in a casual conversation. He shouldn’t have even divulged she was a patient.”
“He saw me with her.” Guy closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the chair. “I think he was worried because he saw me kiss her.”
“You kissed Charlotte?” Vance asked. His worry deepened.
“Just on the cheek. She was teasing me about shaking her hand instead of giving her a more traditional goodbye, so I kissed both her cheeks.” Guy played it off as nothing, but his chest constricted at the memory of how her breathing had stopped in that moment, or how it felt to be that close to her. When he opened his eyes, he knew Vance saw the truth.
Vance shifted in his seat, crossing his legs and leaning forward. “I’m not sure why you’re so upset about this.” When Guy’s hands balled into fists, he held up a hand to ward off his friend’s reaction. “Look, I’m not trying to make light of her condition, but I don’t get what’s going on here. You barely know her. You’ve spoken to her a handful of times. You don’t do serious relationships. You don’t even do casual relationships very well.
“Think back on your last five girlfriends, Guy. You broke up with one over a cat. The others were just as ridiculous. Gwen asked you to pick her up at the airport. Allie gave you a live plant. With Morgan, it wasn’t even her fault. You ran into her parents by accident, and that was too serious for you.” Vance shook his head. “I’m not saying your compassion toward Charlotte is a bad thing, but I don’t understand why you’re this attached to her so suddenly.”
“I do not know either!” Guy shouted. Did his friend not see that? He had no idea why Charlotte held his attention, why instead of running away from her at such devastating news, he was agonizing over how to handle it. “She is…too real.”
Frowning, Vance considered his friend’s words for a few moments before speaking. “What do you mean, too real?”
Guy could only shrug. It was difficult to put into words. He tried for Vance’s sake. He owed him that much. “Everything she says or does, even her appearance, there is nothing dishonest. She is open to me. She shows me her true feelings and accepts mine. She does not allow me to hide behind jokes and flattery.”
“How does she do this?” Vance asked.
Again, Guy had no idea. His shoulders bobbed helplessly. “There is something in her manner that draws out what I would not normally tell a stranger.” He paused, really considering for the first time what it was about Charlotte that attracted him so much. His mind took him back to their conversation in the cafeteria where she shared about her husband’s passing. “She sees more than others. She has known too much pain to not recognize it in other people.”
Vance’s expression became thoughtful. “What kind of pain?”
“She was married once, but her husband has passed now.” Guy shook his head, realizing the depth of her ability to sense pain in others. “The cancer as well. It makes more sense now.” He sighed so deeply, he felt like he had deflated in his chair. His head shook back and forth slowly as understanding hit him squarely.
“What makes sense?”
“Her hesitation.” Guy dragged one hand down his face, frustrated at having missed the truth before. “Tonight, when I asked her to join me at the bistro, she seemed worried. She is kind to talk to me, but I think it frightened her to take our casual run-ins to another level. Then, when we were talking, she said she had to visit her parents to ask their advice about a difficult decision. When I asked her to see me again, she was scared, but she agreed. I thought she was just unsure about my character, but I think it is more than that.”
Vance nodded to everything he said. It was disheartening to receive his agreement. He wanted Vance to argue, to tell him he was wrong. Needing to talk to her parents, not wanting to begin a relationship, it did not speak well to her prognosis. If she was worried about her future, did that mean she did not have very much time left?
“You mentioned asking Charlotte to see you again,” Vance said. His voice was steady, calm, though it seemed forced. “Do you intend to follow through on that?”
Part of Guy wanted to say yes right away, but another part of him balked at the notion. Who was he to barge in on her life when she was dealing with so much already? He knew from medical school that he had difficulty handling chronic illnesses. He doubted he could provide any comfort and feared he would only make things worse for her. He also had to consider the impact it would have on his life as well.
“I do not know, Vance. You saw me during rotations. I don’t know if I can do this. I spend so much time at work already, and I have the blasted date shark clients to take care of as well.” Guy’s stomach sank, remembering he had another client to see that weekend. He wanted to strangle his sister in that moment.
“How has that been going?” Vance asked. “The date shark thing?”
“It’s a nightmare,” Guy grumbled.
“That seems a little strong.”
Guy shook his head, cursing Eli and his sister both. “The woman last weekend, she could not stop checking her reflection in every shiny surface she could find. Not just to check her teeth, either. She was obsessed with looking at herself. She got up to freshen up her makeup every ten minutes. It was very frustrating. I am trying to do as Eli suggests and just observe, but it is difficult. I do not know how to help them like this.”
“At least it wasn’t bugs this time,” Vance said, trying to contain a smile.
Glowering at his friend, Guy slouched in his chair.
“Seriously, though,” Vance said, “you’ve made no commitment to Charlotte. If this isn’t something you think you can handle, it would be better to tell her that now. She has enough to deal with in her life without having to worry about whether or not you’re going to disappear.”
For a long while, neither of them said anything. Guy was almost sure his friend had fallen asleep on him after the first few minutes, but he needed the time to think. What was Charlotte to him, other than a sympathetic ear? Vance was right that Charlotte seemed to have no expectation of a lasting relationship with him. In fact, she seemed almost to be avoiding one. If he disappeared from her life now, it would be a missed opportunity possibly, one she likely would not spend much time thinking about. It should be easy to walk away from her.
Except it was not.
“I cannot do it,” Guy said, almost to himself.
Vance proved not to be asleep by saying, “You have to do what you think is best.” He nodded, compassion in his eyes. “She’ll understand why getting into a relationship with her
would be too difficult right now.”
“No,” Guy said. He shook his head. “I meant that I cannot walk away from her.”
The shock in Vance’s expression would have made him laugh if it were due to any other source. He did not laugh now. Guy kept his gaze fastened on Vance’s, waiting for his shock to morph into argument, to tell him he was making the wrong decision. He almost wanted to hear those words. Part of him was terrified of not running from Charlotte.
“Guy,” Vance said. Guy braced for an argument. “This isn’t going to be easy, but I have faith in you.”
Stunned, Guy could only stare at him. “That is it?” he demanded. “That is all you have to say?”
“What did you expect me to say?” Vance asked.
“To tell me not to do it.”
Vance laughed and shook his head. “Why, because you’re too stuck on yourself and not serious enough for anything more than a fling?” He stood and shrugged back into his jacket. “Guy, you’re the only one who believes that. Supporting Charlotte through whatever she’s about to face is going to test you, bitterly, but you’re more than capable. I’m not talking about your medical training, either. Even before I found out about Carmody and the time you spend helping out with their daughter, I knew about Patricia and the hundreds of other patients you’ve treated and poured your heart and soul into. If Charlotte is here by herself, facing cancer, you’re exactly what she needs.”
Standing as well, Guy walked over to his friend, head hanging after such heartfelt compliments he was not sure he deserved. “I am scared to do this,” he admitted quietly.
“Of course you are. Any sane person would be.” Vance clapped him on the back and pulled him into an embrace. “You won’t be alone. The rest of us will be here to help however we can.”
Guy’s arms tightened around his friend. He had spent so much time building the façade he presented to the world. It protected him from facing what he did not wish to face, but it had failed him. Somehow he had managed to invite behind his barrier the only woman who had the potential to break him. He released his friend slowly, blinking, struggling to keep his calm.
“Thank you for coming so late, Vance.”
“Any time.” He smiled, but it was strained. “Let me know when you talk to Charlotte and find out her prognosis.”
Suddenly, Guy felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had been so focused on deciding between running and staying, he had forgotten that he still did not know the seriousness of Charlotte’s condition. What if she was going home to her parents so they could help her decide between going through treatment to try and extend her life, or spending her final days with a better quality of life?
“This could be bad,” Guy said quietly.
Vance nodded slowly. “Just try not to jump to conclusions before you speak to her, okay?”
Guy nodded, but he was not sure he could avoid it. He muttered a goodbye to Vance, then retreated back to his chair. What was he thinking getting involved in something like this? His longest, most serious relationship had lasted two months. What did he know about doing something like this? He shook his head as Vance’s comments filtered back into his mind. Although his romantic track record was less than impressive, Guy knew how to be a friend, he knew how to support someone through a difficult time in their life. He could do that for Charlotte… if she even wanted him to, that was. That was another unanswered question.
Chapter 11
Partir en Courant
It was a cruel form of torture, not calling Charlotte the morning after his discussion with Vance. He was desperate to know what was going on with her, but he knew she was preparing to visit her parents and did not want to compound the difficulty of what she was already facing. Guy guessed that she had not yet told them about the diagnosis, and when he spoke to Myles about it over the weekend, he could not confirm anything, but he left Guy with the impression that the diagnosis was recent and he did not think she had told anyone yet.
It killed Guy not to beg him for more information, but he knew he could not. Instead, he spent as much time as he could manage with Carmody’s family and his friends, to distract himself. He was disappointed Eli and Leila were still on their honeymoon. He could have used a little of Leila’s wit and spunk to take his mind off Charlotte. She was rarely so lively with any of the others in their group, but Guy seemed to bring out a spirited side to her. Or perhaps she just enjoyed making fun of him more than anyone else.
Guy was so eager to keep from dwelling on his impending discussion with Charlotte that when he walked up to Dolcini for his meeting Sunday evening with the next date shark client, he was glad to have something else to think about. He regretted the thought as soon as he walked in the door and found his client waiting for him.
“Dr. Guy,” Jemma cooed. “Aren’t you just so adorable! Look at you! You’re just such a cutiepie, yes you are!”
Taking a deep, deep breath, Guy tried not to push her away as she started pawing at him like he was a three-year-old being faced with an overly loving grandmother, despite the fact that she was a young woman in her twenties. She even proceeded to pinch his cheeks and squash his face between her hands as she made bizarre faces at him. It took everything he had not to step away from her.
What is she thinking? he thought to himself. How could she possibly think this is acceptable?
Putting on a professional face, he looked at Jemma firmly as he removed her hands from his face. “Please refrain from grabbing my face without permission, Jemma. Everyone is entitled to their personal space.”
“Of course they are,” Jemma said in the same tone of voice. “You’re just too much to resist, yes you are!”
She tried to touch him again, but Guy deftly stepped out of her way and approached the host stand. He was relieved to see Pierce back at his usual post. “Where have you been?” Guy complained. “Eli promised you would be here to assist me in this circus he calls a business.”
Pierce grimaced as Jemma scurried up next to Guy and started brushing off his clothes—not that there was any lint to be seen—but she seemed unable to keep from touching him and trying to find some way to mother him. Turning his attention back to Guy, Peirce said, “I do apologize, Mr. Saint Laurent. I ended up with pneumonia and had to stay off my feet for several weeks. I sincerely regret not being here to offer my assistance.” His eyes widened, and Guy turned to see Jemma licking her fingers, eyes intent on his hair.
Catching Jemma’s wrist, he refused to let her use her saliva to attempt containing an imaginary fault in his hair. Not only did he know there was nothing wrong with his hair, putting up with this was beyond what he could tolerate. Guy found himself chiding her as he would Lily, shaking his finger at her and saying, “Non, non. That is not acceptable.”
Jemma dipped her head in shame, but was obviously even more frustrated that Guy had stopped her. The strange woman’s eyes kept drifting back to his hair even after he had released her hand. He took a step away from her and looked up at Pierce desperately.
“Let me take you to your table,” Pierce offered.
At least then Guy would have the whole width of the table separating him from her. If she felt the desire to spread her saliva on anything else, he would be out of her reach. Hopefully. He took his seat when they reached it and watched Pierce expertly pull out Jemma’s. She was not quite ready to take it yet. Instead, she bounded over to Guy and snatched his napkin off the table before he could react and began stuffing the corner under his collar.
She snapped her hands back with a smirk once it was in place. “There, now you won’t get your shirt dirty, you silly boy. I didn’t want you to forget and ruin that handsome shirt you’re wearing.” Thankfully, she took her seat after that.
Guy had no choice but to leave the napkin in place, fearing she would attack him again if he tried to remove it. He felt ridiculous, given that they did not even have any appetizers yet, or anything that had the potential to dirty his shirt. He glanced up at Pierce, wishing t
he night was already over.
“Your server will be with you momentarily,” Pierce said. He turned to Guy specifically. “If you need anything before then, don’t hesitate to ask.”
A new job, Guy thought to himself. He wanted to be a good friend to Eli and help him fulfill his remaining contracts, but he was struggling to understand the point of the business. One night of observation, paired with one meeting to explain the issues and recommend treatment, was not going to change these women. He wanted to help them, but he did not feel the current approach was enough. He was not sure how to rectify that, however, and it left him feeling even more frustrated with the endeavor.
Frustration soon turned to embarrassment as their drinks arrived and Jemma attempted to wipe his chin after every sip. He finally had to abandon his drink altogether in order to keep himself from reacting to her. He was struggling to make polite conversation with her when their main courses arrived and she brazenly reached over the table, took his plate, and proceeded to cut every last bit of his food into bite-sized pieces. It looked like spit up baby food, pieces mashed together in a muddled mess when she handed it back to him.
“Thank you,” Guy muttered with a fake smile.
Jemma seemed to take his words at face value, and responded with a pleased, “You’re so very welcome. I’d hate to see you choke on something. Such a sweet boy you are! Can’t let anything unfortunate happen to you while I’m here. No I can’t. You’re much too precious for that.”
How did Eli manage to get through so many of these encounters? Guy was being tested to the last of his patience. He had to remind himself, once again, that he was there to try and help Jemma. It was hard to believe she did not already realize her behavior was off-putting, but she seemed so pleased with everything she had done for him that he knew she saw nothing wrong with what she was doing. Guy supposed that sort of thing might be endearing to a select few, but certainly not to the general male population.
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