Internet Famous

by Danika Stone

  this sounds like the beginning of a rom-com

  would you come up?

  u might convince me to climb up. But I’d probably be laughing. (i can’t help it. i’m loud. ur host family would know i was there 2 seconds after we came inside.)

  then i’d kiss you to muffle the sound.

  and when you stopped giggling, i’d kiss my way down your neck.

  Madi stared at the screen, heart pounding. The joking tone was gone. Laurent was dead serious, his words burning across her phone’s screen. I’m about to lose my phone-sex virginity, she realized. She had no idea what she was doing! Holy crap! This CAN’T be happening! What do I say? How do I sext?!?

  Madi’s phone buzzed, jerking her away from Laurent’s text. A message from her mother had appeared on the top of her screen. Scowling, she scanned through it.

  Madi. It’s your mom again. Are you around? I know it’s late, but your father tells me you’ve been working on some school projects.

  How are things going? Have you checked out any study groups for your finals? Mom

  Madi rolled her eyes. Leave it to her mother to walk in on her and Laurent at exactly the wrong moment. Definitely a buzzkill. Irritated, she ignored her mother’s texts and returned to Laurent’s message. She tapped in a quick reply.

  what else would u do, hmmm?

  i’d try to warm you up.

  warm me up? (why am i cold?)

  because it’s raining in ny tonight. you’d be chilled from standing out in the alley.

  brrr …

  i’d pull you against me, and kiss you. my hands would touch you all the places i’ve imagined—

  Madi’s phone buzzed, but she ignored it, flicking the text aside. “Go away, Mom!” she growled, returning to the screen where a new text had arrived.

  Madi? You there?

  mmm … definitely. just imagining all the things u r doing to me

  What does that mean?

  i’m still cold. waiting for u to warm me up

  For a long moment, the pulsing dots told Madi that Laurent was replying. She grinned, imagining all the things he might say. Maybe they could figure out a long-distance romance. She held her breath. This was it. The moment! Her phone-sex virginity was about to be lost.

  The text appeared.

  Madison, are you on drugs? Please tell me the truth. I do NOT have time for this right now! I am very worried about your behavior. Mom

  “Shit!” Madi dropped her phone, recoiling like it had stung her. In her rush to close her mother’s text, she’d opened the wrong one to reply to. “Oh, no, no, no!” she chanted.

  The phone buzzed again.

  Madi? Answer me! I’m calling the house if you don’t! Mom

  Madi picked up the phone, fingers shaking as she typed in a reply. Her phone buzzed—Laurent was trying to message her, too—but she focused her reply on diverting her panicked mother.

  sorry, mom. just woke up & my fingers are a little clumsy. my autocorrect did something weird there

  Are you sure, Madi? That sounded strange. What’s going on with you? Have you been drinking tonight? You know that’s not permitted. Mom

  no, i haven’t & nothing’s wrong. i’m just TIRED, mom. i need to go. i’ve been spending all my spare time studying

  Please promise me you’ll make good choices. Say no to drugs. Please!

  first, calm down. I AM NOT ON DRUGS. god, mom. i need you to trust me, all right?

  I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I love you.

  love you, too.

  Madi flicked the text messages from her mother closed and reread the last text from Laurent, double-checking the name.

  are you still around, madi?

  just getting back. sorry, laurent. i kind of got intercepted by my mom. LOL (the mood’s gone.)

  c’est dommage! another time.

  definitely

  perhaps in person would work better.

  Heat rushed back to Madi’s face and neck. His saying things like this was going to make it oh so much harder to say good-bye in the end. But right now, she refused to consider it. Falling in love wasn’t something you decided on. It just happened. Her smile softened as she typed another text.

  oh, laurent, now THAT is exactly what i needed to hear

  good.

  and now i really DO have to go.

  bonne nuit, madi. tu es dans toutes mes pensées.

  ???

  dream of me.

  Madi smiled and closed her messages. Oh, Laurent. How’s this ever going to work? She scrolled through her dashboard one last time before bed. The first four posts were fandom-related, but the fifth seemed like it had been posted for her alone. She giggled and hit REBLOG.

  There were times she swore the Internet was sentient.

  13

  “This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.”

  (Ghostbusters, 1984)

  An e-mail message was waiting for Madi when she flicked on her laptop. She read through it, her stomach twisting into a painful knot.

  NEW Message, AnnaRodriguez@MillburnAcademy.com: 7:51 p.m. EST

  Priority: HIGH

  Subject: RE: Possible Alternate Projects for English

  Hello Madi,

  Thanks for contacting me. I wish I’d been made aware of this issue earlier (so we could have arranged for some accommodation), but given Mrs. Preet’s concerns, you are correct. The MadLibs blog is no longer an option.

  I have listed four choices below. All are due on the same date as the previous assignment. I checked with Mrs. Preet, but given school rules, there is no chance of an extension.

  Assignment Choice 1: An online blog of another topic. This will require the same number of discussion posts as the previous, so I’m not sure this is really an option, given the compressed time frame. If you do choose this one, be very careful regarding the school code. (Mrs. Preet has asked that I forward you the list of OMA’s assignment requirements.)

  Assignment Choice 2: A short story of between 15K and 25K words on a topic of your choice. See the attached grading rubric.

  Assignment Choice 3: A series of five to ten nonfiction articles (with a total word count of between 15K and 25K) on a topic of your choice. As with the blog, this will need to have a thematic connection between posts. Rubric attached.

  Assignment Choice 4: A digital video diary with accompanying written texts. These texts should be between 8K and 10K in total. The video diary must be at least four minutes long, with appropriate titling, edits, etc. (You may wish to contact the school’s media instructor for assistance on the digital editing portion of this project.) Rubric attached.

  Please let me know as soon as you’ve made your choice. And as finals are nearing, please note Millburn Academy has study groups on Tuesdays and Thursdays, directly after final bell. They’re held in the library and are very helpful.

  —Ms. Rodriguez

  “Kill me now,” Madi groaned, pushing the chair back from her desk.

  No way was she getting out of this new project. She leaned back until she was almost reclined, staring at the ceiling. All the choices felt equally impossible, but if she didn’t choose, she wouldn’t graduate.

  “It’s not fair!” she snarled at the empty room.

  With a weary sigh, Madi sat up and slid the chair back to her desk, scrolling through the options. She had no time to make a new website. No idea for a short story. And nonfiction articles were her father’s passion, not hers. Her eyes caught on the final choice.

  She hated all of them, but video making sounded the least like work. It just left her with one question: What would her vlog topic be?

  Before she could decide, her phone buzzed and she fished it from her pocket. On-screen, a number of tweets jostled for position, Brian’s irritated ranting taking up the most room. Rather than dealing with him, she closed the app and opened a Snapsed that had arrived seconds earlier. A smile ghosted over her lips as she saw it was from Laurent.

  She started to type in a
reply, then stopped. Her fingers hovered above the phone’s screen. She needed to confirm that Laurent and Morag were willing to do a guest post. If she could arrange a week or two off, she’d have time to work on her English project and she wouldn’t have to worry about losing traction with blogging. As much as she hated handing over the reins—even for a short amount of time—MadLibs could carry on without her … at least until she got her life in order.

  “What could it hurt?”

  Her phone vibrated in her hand before she could type anything. She looked down. Another tweet from @StarveilBrian1981 waited on-screen.

  “God, Brian,” Madi grumbled. “You need to chill, dude.”

  @StarveilBrian1981: @MadLib Why did you close the e-mails for the site? I wanted to send you a PM. #Disappoint

  @MadLib: @StarveilBrian1981 Can’t you just ask here, Brian?

  @StarveilBrian1981: @MadLib I could, but character limits are pretty frustrating. It’s a bit of a long one. :>/

  @MadLib: @StarveilBrian1981 Fine. It’s open again. #CrossesFingers #TrollFreeZone

  @ArtWithAttitude: @MadLib What’s this I hear about you letting the MadLibbers do a LIVEBLOG?!? #BestNews #AllTheThings

  Madi stared at the screen in confusion. She reread Ava’s tweet a second time. “What the hell…?”

  @MadLib: @ArtWithAttitude How’d you hear about that?

  @ArtWithAttitude: @MadLib @laurentabelard told me that he and @ModernDayWitch are doing one. I’m so excited!!! CAN I DO THE NEXT POST???

  Madi frowned. It irked her that Laurent had already told someone about the possible guest-posting. And why was Ava so happy about Madi going on hiatus?

  @MadLib: @ArtWithAttitude Thanks, I think. Haven’t decided on official guest bloggers or schedule yet.

  @ArtWithAttitude: @MadLib Really? That’s not what I heard.

  @StarveilBrian1981: @MadLib WAIT. Why are MadLibbers doing the blog, not you? That isn’t right. #QualityControl

  @MadLib: @StarveilBrian1981 Long story, but things are a bit busy right now. (End of the year.) I’ll be back as soon as I can.

  @StarveilBrian1981: @MadLib So no liveblog at ALL?!?

  @MadLib: @StarveilBrian1981 Yes, a liveblog (online, like this), but I won’t be writing up the actual summary post.

  Madi’s frowned deepened. There was no use denying it. Ava had already made it public, so Madi might as well go for it. She added a quick second reply.

  @MadLib: @StarveilBrian1981 Looks like @laurentabelard and @ModernDayWitch are working on the first one.

  @ModernDayWitch: OMG I LOVE YOU @MadLib!! #GuestMadLibbing

  @StarveilBrian1981: @MadLib I didn’t agree to this.

  @fandometric: @MadLib So where’s everyone meeting up for this liveblog? #Awesomesauce

  @ModernDayWitch: @fandometric Send me a PM, I’ll get you details.

  @MadLib: All right, guys. I gotta go. Schoolwork awaits.

  @WrittenInChantalics: @MadLib Noooooo! You’ve got to STAY! I don’t want a rewatch without you!!!:(

  @ArtWithAttitude: WOOHOO!!! REWATCH TIME!

  @MadLib: Sorry, @WrittenInChantalics. Got to go. *disappears*

  Madi scowled at the phone’s screen. She’d dealt with Brian’s temper tantrum and had someone to cover her next MadLib post, but it left her feeling more exhausted than relieved. She rolled her thumb up the screen, rereading the conversation.

  “What is your problem, Ava?” she grumbled.

  Blogging was Madi’s life. Handing it over to someone else took her freedom away. Having someone try to take it away from her was outright infuriating.

  Irked, Madi opened up her e-mail from Ms. Rodriguez and scrolled through the choices for her final project.

  Assignment Choice 1: An online blog of another topic.

  Assignment Choice 2: A short story of between 15K and 25K words.

  Assignment Choice 3: A series of five to ten nonfiction articles.

  Assignment Choice 4: A digital video diary with accompanying written texts.

  “Why can’t it ever be easy?” she grumbled.

  *   *   *

  Madi was taking a break online when the guest blog, written by Morag and Laurent, popped up on her feed. She read through it with a growing sense of unease. It felt like someone had taken her favorite piece of clothing—her canvas shoes with the comic strip design on them—and worn them without permission.

  Only, Madi had allowed them to borrow her blog.

  Blog Post 214, Sunday 2:01 p.m.:

  The Breakfast Club!

  Welcome MadLibbers far and wide to MadLib’s FIRST GUEST-BLOGGING EXPERIENCE. For those of you who haven’t heard, our own @MadLib is in the throes of end-of-the-year drama, and to assist her, the two of us—@laurentabelard and @ModernDayWitch—will be serving as guest bloggers. We promise that @MadLib will soon be back and AT THE HELM! Until then, please be patient; we’ve no idea what we’re doing. LOL

  @ModernDayWitch: To begin, I absolutely LOVED The Breakfast Club. It starts off with a snapshot of high school society and the various cliques that make it up. For me (a little closer to the age of this film than the rest of you), it felt like a high school reunion. A little bit uncomfortable, but endearing all the same. How about you, L?

  @laurentabelard: Er … This one wasn’t my favorite. I wanted to fall in love with these characters, but I found myself losing track of who did what to end up in detention. They didn’t speak to me in the same way individual couples in films usually do.

  @ModernDayWitch: Aw … I love that you’re a rom-com viewer at heart! <3 Beyond the main plot—which is pretty loosely stitched together, I’ll admit—what I really loved was how the characters bring you into their experiences. I really felt them. They seemed like real people.

  Madi’s fingers drummed on the armrest as she read through the post. She wanted to like the post, but the fact it wasn’t hers bothered her more than she wanted to admit. The comment box was open, but no one had left any replies, a rarity with a blog as massively popular as hers. She smirked. Was it wrong to be glad for that?

  Her phone buzzed and Madi looked down to discover a text from Laurent had arrived.

  so did you see it?

  just reading it now

  and????

  still reading

  do you hate it? oh god. you hate it, don’t you? (i knew you’d hate it.) c’est dommage.

  LOL relax. i like it, laurent

  really? you actually like it?

  yes, i really do. u & morag r a good mix

  oh, thank god.

  why r u so worried about it?

  because it’s YOU, madi.

  so?

  so when it’s you, I worry.

  *whispers* i’m going to read the rest now

  i’ll be waiting.

  Madi smiled and set her phone next to the laptop. Knowing Laurent was waiting for her and worried about her reaction made her annoyance seem unjustified. The blog was actually pretty good. And it had been written specifically to give her time to work on her own project. They’d announced it was just a brief stint. It was ungrateful of her to dislike it on principle.

  “And it’s only for a little while,” Madi said quietly. In a week or two, she’d be back. The thought excited her more than anything else.

  She clicked REPLY and began to type.

  Comments on Blog Post 214: The Breakfast Club!

  Comment 1.1, @MadLib: Aw … thank you guys for doing this. It’s great! (And I’m so grateful.) *goes back to studying*

  @laurentabelard: For you, minette? Anything. :D

  Comment 2.1, @TrollingLikeWhoa: I can’t believe you guys pulled this kind of shit. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I didn’t think it was possible, but this is even WORSE than MadLib’s garbage.

  @laurentabelard: Casse-toi! You aren’t wanted here.

  @ModernDayWitch: I think you need to back off, @TrollingLikeWhoa. This blog has always been a welcoming place, and this type of flaming isn’t tolerated. Consider yourself warned.r />
  @TrollingLikeWhoa: Ooooooh! Whatcha gonna do about it? Burn some incense until I disappear? LOL Get used to me. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

  @MadLib: Morag, text me—PLEASE.

  @TrollingLikeWhoa: Well, well, well. If it isn’t MADLIB HERSELF. How surprising to discover our MIA blogger isn’t actually studying, but is sitting here in the shadows, reading her own blog. How’s that feel, people? To know she LIED to you, huh? That she’s the biggest FAKE out there?! You think she’s your friend? MadLib is NOBODY’S friend but her own. She’s just playing a game with you, and I’m going to STOP HER.

  Session closed.

  Comments disabled.

  Madi stared at the screen in shock. The troll wasn’t just back, he’d been waiting for her to appear. And if he’s watching the comments, then he’s probably back at the private messaging, too.

  Stomach in knots, Madi opened the MadLibs e-mail service.

  NEW Message, @TrollingLikeWhoa: 10:14 p.m. EST

  Subject: Hi!

  Hellllooooooo, Madi. You don’t think I can see you there, but I CAN.

  Madi gasped, recoiling from the screen. She knew he couldn’t actually see her, but she felt exposed. Another message appeared.

  NEW Message, @TrollsCanPlayTheseGamesToo: 10:19 p.m. EST

  Subject: No reply?:(

  You disappoint me, Madi. I thought for sure you’d come out and play. (You played on Redux.)

  Madi scrambled to open the e-mail settings for MadLibs, but another e-mail appeared before she’d finished resetting them.

  NEW Message, @TrollYouOnce: 10:22 p.m. EST

  Subject: Your Move

  COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  She clicked INCOMING E-MAILS OFF, and the program began rerouting all incoming e-mails, bouncing them back one after the other.

  *Automated response* to @TrollYouTwice: 10:23 p.m. EST

  Private messaging for all e-mail clients on the MadLibs blog is currently closed. Please check back again later.

  *Automated response* to @GetOutAndTROLL: 10:25 p.m. EST

  Private messaging for all e-mail clients on the MadLibs blog is currently closed. Please check back again later.