‘Long story short, I got mugged in the park yesterday and everyone is telling me I need a bodyguard. So I immediately thought of you and told Mariam, who started crying and went and locked herself in my guest bathroom. Then the whole tale came out.’
‘Oh gee, Electra, I’m sorry to put you to any trouble.’ Then he looked up at me and I could see the tiniest glint of hope in his eyes. ‘She locked herself in the bathroom and cried?’
‘Yup, she did. She loves you, Tommy, and apparently you love her. I mean, I heard you say it yourself at AA last week. I was at the back. Of course I didn’t know you were talking about Mariam, but . . .’
‘Yeah, well, it’s all over anyway. She dumped me.’
‘But do you know why she dumped you?’
‘Not really, no. But I can guess. I mean, look at me, Electra, who’d want me? I’m a mess,’ he said and then tears came to his eyes.
‘Mariam for one,’ I said firmly. ‘This has nothing to do with how she feels about you, Tommy. She thinks you’re wonderful. It has everything to do with the fact that she is Muslim. And apparently, a Muslim woman can’t marry a man who isn’t. It’s as simple as that.’
‘You’re kidding me.’ Tommy looked at me as though I’d landed from another planet and didn’t understand humans. ‘She never even mentioned that to me.’
‘As she said to me only a couple of hours ago, you hadn’t proposed or anything, so she thought it would be kind of weird for her to mention it, but that’s the reason, I swear.’
‘You mean, if I was Muslim, she’d want to marry me?’
‘Yes, and from the state of her this morning, tomorrow if possible. She ended it because she couldn’t see a way forward. You and I can’t understand because we’re not Muslim, but her entire life – her family, her friends – everything is based around that. She knows you have a kid too and, well, what with other things, she felt it was all too complicated.’
‘Sure, I have my daughter, but my ex-wife’s met some guy and wants to take her to California to live with them. Which is another reason why I found myself back at AA. Without my daughter or Mariam . . . Oh man, Electra, I’m struggling right now.’
‘Of course you are, Tommy. Okay, I’m gonna cut to the chase: if the deal with Mariam was that you had to convert to her faith in order to be with her, would you?’
‘Now that’s a tough one. You’re talking to someone who served in Afghanistan. The atrocities I saw that were carried out in the name of Allah . . . I mean, I’d walk across hot coals to be with her, and I understand I was dealing with extremists over there, but to become one of them . . .’ Tommy shook his head. ‘I just don’t know.’
‘Mariam knows what you went through out there. She’s thought all this through, which was why she couldn’t bring herself to mention it. Why is life so damned complicated?’
‘You tell me, Electra. I mean, I meet a girl that I know is right for me in every way, yet here we are.’
‘Listen, I’m only the messenger and now it’s down to you two to decide what to do. I understand your dilemma, but isn’t love meant to cross boundaries? At the end of the day, she’s just a woman and you’re just a man. Anyway, at least now you know the real reason why she dumped you. And maybe it is just all too complicated, but that’s for you to work out. Right, I better head off. And by the way,’ I said as I stood up, ‘I’m serious about offering you that job as my bodyguard. But obviously, while things are uncertain between you and Mariam, it just wouldn’t be right, would it?’
‘No, but thanks anyway.’
‘Keep in touch, Tommy. I worry about you.’
‘Thanks for the coffee, Electra. And taking the time to care,’ he added as I left him sitting there, hunched over his cup.
As the car drove me back through New York, I glanced out of the window at the people on the sidewalk, thinking that each one of them had their own dramas playing out that none of us passing by would ever know about. The thought comforted me; it was all too easy to believe that everyone else had a perfect existence (and that certainly seemed to be what the media spewed out every day – I only needed to think of all the endless pictures of me getting in and out of limos dressed to the nines, on my way to some celebrity party) when the reality was just sooo different.
Well, I thought, I’d done my best to play fairy godmother to two of my favourite people, and now I just had to let them work it out between them.
‘Electra?’
‘Hi, Stella,’ I said into my cell as I was getting into bed that evening.
‘I was just calling to check how you are.’
‘I’m okay.’
‘I . . . I’ve been so concerned about you since you left. What I told you yesterday was enough to traumatise anyone, let alone a person who recently walked out of rehab. I couldn’t bear it if I’d hindered your recovery process in any way.’
‘As a matter of fact, I kind of feel that knowing about my past is part of my recovery process. Of course it was upsetting, but I didn’t know my mom, so even though I can’t stand the thought of how she died, that makes it easier. Really,’ I added because I could hear the genuine fear and concern in my grandmother’s voice.
‘Your attitude is incredible, Electra, and I’m . . .’ – Stella’s voice cracked as she gulped – ‘so, so proud of you. I just wanted to tell you that.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, knowing I was in danger of welling up too.
‘Would tomorrow be too soon to come visit you? I have something I want to ask you. I can drop by in the evening, at seven maybe?’
‘Okay, I’ll see you then.’
As I lay in bed, not only did I realise that my cravings for the Goose were definitely lessening, but also that, from the sound of her concern, my grandmother truly cared about me. And I was beginning to like her more too, now that she’d shown her vulnerable side. If I needed a role model, I thought, then I sure had one right there. I’d looked her up earlier on the internet, and it seemed there was no cause she hadn’t spoken out for, no country she hadn’t visited through her current role with Amnesty International. She’d won all sorts of awards and accolades and as I began to feel sleepy, I realised that my modelling days were almost certainly coming to an end. I wanted to do something to make a difference too . . .
I was just dropping off when my cell phone rang.
‘Electra?’
‘Hi, Miles, everything okay?’ I said sleepily.
‘Shit, did I wake you? I only just got in from work and I wanted to tell you that Vanessa’s good for a visit this weekend.’
‘Fantastic! And how are you?’ I asked.
‘Oh, snowed under with work . . . I was thinking tonight that maybe it’s time for a change. I’m just not enjoying what I do anymore.
‘That’s weird, ’cos I was just thinking exactly the same thing.’
‘Right, well, it’s about time I cut myself a break. You doing anything tomorrow night?’
‘Nope, apart from getting takeout with Lizzie maybe.’
‘You wanna get some dinner with me instead?’
‘Yeah, sure, why not?’ I said as my heart rate sped up about a hundred thousand notches.
‘Great, I’ll come collect you around about eight, okay?’
‘Sure, perfect, see you tomorrow.’
‘Goodnight, Electra.’
‘Night, Miles.’
I closed my eyes and then gave a little wiggle of excitement in my bed, before falling asleep with a smile still planted firmly on my face.
I couldn’t ever remember taking so long to choose an outfit for what I wasn’t even sure was a date. I had absolutely no idea whether he would take me to the nearest diner or uptown to a smart restaurant. I was sad that the effect of the leather pants had been used up so briefly on his last visit, so in the end, I decided to go vintage with a pair of flared orange Versace pants and a silk blouse that gave the look an air of elegance. Some heavy ethnic orange beads went around my neck, and I was ready for anything.
‘You look great, Electra,’ said Lizzie as she arrived in the bedroom for a viewing. ‘I just love those trousers, although they’d look hilarious on little old me.’
‘Hey, tell me what you think about some of the designs I’ve been playing with this afternoon,’ I said as I heaped the massive pile of clothes I’d tried on back into the wardrobe for the maid to sort out tomorrow.
‘Some of these are great,’ Lizzie said admiringly. ‘You’re going for it then?’
‘I am. All the profits will be for the drop-in centre – I’m gonna get Susie’s in-house PR to come visit me in the next few days and get some interviews set up. Mariam’s found me a company that can turn my designs into actual clothes, because I wouldn’t have the first clue how to do it. We’ve got the ethical fabric lined up and I’m really fired up about it.’
‘A new venture,’ said Lizzie with a smile. ‘Well, if you want anyone to do the accounts, I’m good with numbers, so just say the word.’
‘I might just take you up on that.’
‘You know what, Electra? Tonight, you’re just so full of . . . light. It’s lovely to see.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s a new me and I’m embracing it,’ I said as the bell rang. ‘That’ll be Stella. Do you mind letting her in?’
Lizzie left and I went to the bathroom to make one last check of my face. I felt cool and composed as I walked through to the living room to greet my grandmother. She immediately gave me a hug and reiterated Lizzie’s sentiments about my outfit and somehow, even though I’d been told a million times how beautiful I was, coming from my new best friend and my grandmother, it meant a lot.
‘I don’t think I need to ask you how you are, Electra,’ Stella said, sitting down in her usual chair as I poured some water and handed it to her.
‘I’m good. As a quote Pa left for me said, life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.’
‘Even though I only had the pleasure of meeting him briefly, it was obvious that your pa was a very wise man. I truly got the feeling that he’d seen a lot in his life.’
‘Well, me and my sisters wish we knew just what he’d seen. He was a total enigma. We never knew what he did, or where he went when he was away, or why he collected us girls together from all over the world. And we’ll never know now, because he’s dead.’
‘Do you miss him?’
‘Yes, I do, badly. Now that the anger has gone.’
‘Wherever he is, I know he would be so proud of you. Talking of which, I have something to put to you. Do you remember you saw me on TV that night, speaking about the AIDS crisis in Africa?’
‘How could I forget it?’
‘They’ve asked me to go to the Concert for Africa at Madison Square Garden and speak to the audience, tell them what I’ve seen out there. And . . . well, I’d like you to come on stage with me, talk to the audience – which will be millions globally – about the epidemic of drug addiction amongst the young, both here in New York City and across the world. Dirty needles are one of the major causes of the spread of HIV, and I know Obama is a big supporter of the campaign. Would you? Could you?’
‘I . . .’
I was so taken aback, I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish. ‘Me? But, Stella, I’m just a model. I mean, I’ve never given a speech in my life – I’m a clothes horse, I don’t have a voice, I—’
‘Oh, but you do, Electra. And your story, and the way drugs nearly destroyed you, would be such a powerful message to the youth across the world, because it would show them that it could happen to anyone, don’t you see?’
‘Oh wow.’ My head was spinning at just the thought.
‘When I was out in Africa these past few months, I saw the pushers, I saw the pimps with their prostitutes, too drugged up to know what the hell they were doing and with whom. Half of those women – some of them as young as ten or eleven – will end up catching the HIV virus and dying slow and painful deaths. Many of them leave children behind. Electra, do it for your momma, for the terrible end she suffered. I . . .’
I looked at my grandmother’s eyes, which were positively blazing with passion, and realised how she had become such an icon. She was even managing to half convince me that I should stand up there in front of millions of people and talk about my addiction.
‘But it’s a Concert for Africa, Stella, and besides—’
‘Yes, it is! And where are your ancestors from originally, Electra? Where am I from? Those people out there – women in particular – don’t have the platform that we do. We’re here to speak on their behalf, don’t you see?’
‘Okay, okay, Stella, whoah.’ I took some deep breaths. ‘Let me think about it for a while, will you? I’m just not sure I’m ready to tell the world about my . . . problems, you know? It will follow me forever if I do.’
‘I get that, Electra, but equally, it might mean that you receive the level of publicity and funds for your drop-in centre that you could only dream about. This kind of opportunity only comes once in a blue moon.’
Suddenly, my idea of designing a clothing range began to feel very small in comparison to what Stella was suggesting.
‘Can I think it over? Please, Stella?’
‘Of course you can. And I’m sorry to land this on you today after the trauma of hearing about your momma, but if you were going to do it, I’d have to let them know so they can schedule you in.’
‘When is it?’
‘Saturday night.’
‘Shit!’ I said. ‘Sorry to swear, but that’s real soon.’
‘Yes, it is, which is why I need an answer from you by tomorrow.’
‘Well, I’m seeing Miles tonight – the guy that was in rehab with me. I mean, he wasn’t actually in rehab because he’s recovered, but anyway, it’s a long story.’
‘He must be pretty special – you’re lit up tonight, honey,’ Stella smiled, repeating what Lizzie had said to me earlier.
‘Thanks. Hey Stella, did you never find another man to light you up?’
‘Not in the way you mean, but don’t worry your head about me, honey, I haven’t gone without when I needed some company. Anyway, let’s leave that be now, because the other thing I wanted to say to you is that I would like to, in the fullness of time, take you to Kenya, show you the place where I was born, and where your forefathers and mothers, the Maasai, live. I know you’ve heard me talk about it, Electra, but until you’ve seen it for yourself, you just can’t comprehend the beauty. For years I’ve thought that when I retire, I’d move back there – I still own Bill’s cottage by Lake Naivasha – but my retirement never seems to come. And, of course, I’m not going anywhere until after the election in November. It’ll be the proudest moment I ever have if I live to see a black president get into office.’
‘Yeah, it will be amazing,’ I agreed, suddenly understanding the resonance and magnitude of such an event for every black person across the world. ‘I . . . wanted to ask you something.’
‘What’s that, honey?’
‘I just bought a house a few weeks ago – it’s down in Tucson – and since I started to understand how much suffering and poverty and abuse there is in the world, I’ve begun to feel guilty that I bought it.’
‘No, Electra, you really shouldn’t. Life can never be fair – there will always be the rich and the poor – even Jesus himself admitted that in the Bible. So enjoy your wealth, but be prepared to use your privilege to help those who haven’t been so lucky. It’s obvious you’re not greedy for material things anyway.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes. How much of you is in this apartment, for example?’ Stella waved an arm around the room. ‘I bet you’ve hardly touched your money, have you?’
‘To be honest, no, I haven’t, until I bought my house this month.’
‘There you are then. It’s because its accumulation doesn’t interest you.’
‘Well, it might if I didn’t have it,’ I retorted, and my grandmother laughed.
‘True. You real
ly are something, Miss Missy,’ she smiled as the concierge phone rang.
I checked my watch and saw Miles was ten minutes early.
‘Who’s that?’
‘Miles, but he’ll just have to wait downstairs until we’re finished.’
‘Invite him up, for heaven’s sake. Don’t leave the poor guy down there by himself,’ she ordered me.
With a sigh, I did, knowing I’d have to witness serious fanboying and we may not get out for dinner on time.
‘Hi, Miles,’ I said as he walked in. ‘How are you?’
‘Better, breaking the back of the cases on my desk and . . .’
Miles stopped mid-sentence as I led him into the living room and he saw who was sitting there. Stella stood up to greet him.
‘Hello, I’m Stella Jackson, Electra’s grandmother. And you are Miles . . .?’
‘Miles Williamson,’ he said as his long legs covered the distance of my spacious living room in one and a half paces, and he took Stella’s hand. ‘It’s an honour to meet you, ma’am. I heard you speak once at Harvard. You’ve done amazing things and been an inspiration to me personally.’
Oh God, I thought, he looks as though he’s about to cry.
‘Why, thank you, Miles, but as I’m sure you’re aware, what I do is just a drop in the ocean.’
‘No, it’s more than that, ma’am. You’ve been a voice for those who don’t have one, and you haven’t cared who hears it.’
‘That’s true,’ Stella chuckled. ‘I’ve made as many enemies as I’ve made friends in my lifetime, but you gotta speak out and be heard, don’t you?’
‘You sure do, and on behalf of me and my generation, I want to take the chance to personally thank you for doing that.’
‘Electra and I were just talking through an idea I’ve had for her, haven’t we, Electra?’ Stella eyeballed me.
‘Yeah, we have, but I’m not sure—’
‘I don’t want to hold you two young things up, but won’t you sit down for a moment, Miles? It might be good to hear your opinion on my suggestion.’
‘Sure.’ Miles walked to the chair opposite Stella and sat down as I stood there, arms folded, and glared at my grandmother.
The Sun Sister Page 70