“Yessuh, we square as bricks.” I laughed at Ro attemptin’ to talk hood.
“Nigga, bricks ain’ square, they rectangle, a plain ol’ yes woulda did jus’ fine.” I looked into the car. “Baby, I got some work to handle. How ‘bout you drive ya’self home an’ get whatever you need for the rest of the week an’ meet me back at the hotel. Might as well work your shift so you can earn some gas money.”
Honey was so caught up in the car she barely answered me. I needed to work somethin’ out to cover this drop in the A.M., get back to Chelle before I fucked up again, an’ somehow get back outta the house to see Honey at the telly later. I got into my car and headed home to surprise Michelle.
17
Smooth Criminal
I couldn’t help feelin’ déjà vu as, once again, I pulled into an empty driveway.
“Okay, what the hell is goin’ on roun’ here?” My words went unanswered in the empty house. I walked into the kitchen. The lasagna was covered and sittin’ on the stove, and a half-empty bottle of wine was sittin’ on the counter. I pulled out my cell and speed dialed Michelle’s number, listenin’ to the entire chorus of “Love All Over Me” twice before her voice mail picked up. I tried one more time. No answer. A nigga wasn’t even hungry anymore. I turned on the TV to see if any games were on and sat down in my leather recliner, starin’ at the screen but not really seein’ it. I texted Derrick to let him know I’d handle the drop, and asked him to call and check on Big Baby at the club. His reply was “word.” He musta been ova there tryin’a childproof his bachelor pad or figure out how to cook SpaghettiOs.
Wheneva I couldn’t think somethin’ through, or I needed a moment of peace, a shower always helped me refocus. I poured a glass of Merlot thinkin’ that lasagna was pro‘ly on point ’cause Michelle’d used half a damn bottle in the sauce. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I called Honey while I sipped on my wine and waited on the water to get hot, but hung up before she could answer—she was pro’ly at work already.
I stood completely under the showerhead and let the hot water run through my hair and down my body. So, Danita had a kid and I needed to find his ass a home. He couldn’t stay wit’ D forever. Figured the first and best thing to do would be find the li’l nigga’s daddy. How the fuck was I gonna do that? I didn’t even know where to start lookin’.
Dee knew my drop rotations. She could testify ’gainst my whole operation, even drop me on a few bodies and close some unsolved cases. I was lost in my thoughts. So lost, I didn’t hear the door open or hear Michelle slide in the shower behind me, similar to the way I’d slid in on her. Before I could turn or speak I heard her draw in a sharp breath. She was eye to eye with the passion marks on my neck and back.
I didn’t have time to block the first slap that landed hard against the side of my face an’ ear.
“Nigga, you said you were workin’. I let you fuckin’ touch me an’ you been fuckin’ anotha bitch?”
Michelle was yellin’ and a nigga ear was ringin’. I was tryin’a think extra fast. I turned to face her and grabbed her by the wrist.
“Yo, Chelle, calm the fu—” I sidestepped to avoid her knee. The bitch was tryin‘a hit a nigga where it counts, and you know what they say: don’t eva fight a nigga when he naked. Som’n ’bout that shit make a mufucka go ninja on ya ass, blockin’ shit, weavin’, and counter attackin’. The shower was too confined for me to fully defend myself and one of her wet wrists slipped from my grip. I caught anotha slap across my chin as I tried to maneuver out of the shower.
“Why, Rasheed? I can’t believe I let you fuck me. Did you wear a condom; do you even know if that bitch was clean?” Michelle was livid.
I mean, a nigga done fucked up before but she ain’t neva actually seen physical evidence or caught me out there. It’d always been hearsay.
“Baby, stop an’ jus’ listen to me for a sec.” I looked her in the eyes and let go of one of her hands to grab a towel off the rack. I know it wasn’t nothin’ but a towel, but it still helped a nigga feel just a li‘l more secure. My mind was spinnin’ a thousand stories for my mouth to give her, but not one made any sense, and I damn sure couldn’t tell her the truth. Honey wasn’t worth me losin’ my home, my family, the only woman who eva loved me jus’ for me.
“Baby, I ain’ wanna tell you ’cause I ain’ wanna scare you. Somebody tryin’a kill me. I got attacked by some bitch in my office las’ night.” Ladies an‘gentlemen, this nigga is a genius. Chelle’s forehead creased and I felt a new storm comin’.
“Rasheed, do I fuckin’ look like I’m stupid to you? A bitch came in yo’ office an’ clawed up yo’ back an’ ...” She turned and stormed out of the bathroom. “Fuck this shit, Rasheed. I’m done.” She was in the bedroom tryin’ to pull her jeans up over her wet skin.
“Michelle, where you goin’? I ain’ lyin’ to you!” Michelle paused long enough to grab the alarm clock off the dresser and hurl it in my direction.
“Nigga, jus’ stop talkin’ to me!” she yelled at me through her tears.
All the noise musta scared Trey, who started cryin’ in his room. Michelle pushed past me. I followed her to Trey’s room and stood in the door while she picked him up and kissed his tears, tellin’ him it was okay even though she was still cryin’ herself. It felt like this was gonna be the end of us. I looked at my “should be” wife holdin’ the “would be” heir to everything I owned, and felt my eyes get hot as tears slid down my face.
“Chelle, please,” I whispered, too choked up to really talk. “I ain’ lyin’, baby. I swear on my life.” She looked at me with one eyebrow raised. Michelle ain’ neva seen me cry. I had her attention.
“This crazy bite ...” I censored myself in front of Trey. “Crazy crack ho snuck a gun through security an’ came at me in my office. I knocked the gun away from her but she still tried to fight me an’ I hit her. I thought I knocked her out an’ when I turned to get help she jumped on me, the crazy bitc ... heffa damn bit me! We knocked over some product durin’ the scuffle an’ when she went for it I went to get D.”
Michelle didn’t say a word. She sat on the side of Trey’s bed and laid him back down.
“Chelle, you know I wouldn’t lie to you ‘bout som’n like this. I been worried ’bout it ever since. Why you think it bothers me so much when you go runnin’ ’round in the middle of the night alone?”
Trey was calm and already dozin’ back off. I followed Michelle out of his room and back into our bedroom. Michelle sat on the edge of our bed and stared down at the floor. She looked nothing like the defiant, spirited woman I’d fallen in love with. She looked small, worn down. Defeated.
“I left to bring you some food since you were s‘posed to be workin’. Derrick got your plate since you weren’t there. He slipped up and mentioned what happened and told me you were lyin’ low.” Michelle started cryin’ again. “I didn’t know she hurt you. You looked fine, you were actin’ fine. You shoulda said somethin’ to me about it.”
I froze in place. Michelle didn’t notice my fists clench at my sides or see me grindin’ my teeth.
She kept talkin’. “Yeah, I’m scared but, Rasheed, I deserve to know when my family is in danger.”
Her last sentence fell on deaf ears. Derrick told her about the crack bitch? Derrick got my plate? I’d talked to Derrick and I knew for a fact Derrick wasn’t at the club tonight; he was home with the kid. Why was she lyin’ and who was she lyin’ for? Shit, was Michelle at Derrick’s place?
I forced myself to relax. Whateva the fuck was goin’ on ’tween Michelle and my best friend/business partner would come to light. Give a nigga enough rope and if he smart he’ll pull himself outta the hole he diggin’, but if he ain’—he’ll hang himself. I walked to the side of the bed and sat beside Michelle, takin’ her hand into mine. I couldn’t look her in the eye.
My hand was shakin’. I felt so gotdamn angry, I wanted to tear down the fuckin’ walls. Michelle mistook my shakiness for fear and tried to conso
le me.
“Rasheed, baby, we gonna get through this. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”
She leaned over to hug me, and I felt betrayed, hurt, angry. My mouth was suddenly dry and my heart was flyin’ in my chest. I couldn’t even think clearly. I needed to lie down, close my eyes, and gather my thoughts.
18
Who Does the Devil Trust
I couldn’t sleep. Michelle lay beside me, snorin’ softly, snuggled into my side. I stared at the ceiling and curled my lip in disgust, picturin’ her snuggled up with my boy. I saw her in the shower, eyes closed, water drippin’ off her skin. I couldn’t help wonderin’ if D seen her like that. It was startin’ to make sense. How shook he was that night I came into the office through the back door, that same night Michelle had been blowin’ up my phone. Events were playin’ back in my mind. When I checked my texts he had asked if I was home. When I got home Michelle wasn’t there that night. She woke me up and they were both at the house together. Had they just returned from a hotel, maybe he told her about Red before she came in to wake me up? I shook my head. Michelle woulda said somethin’ sooner if she knew then.
A million and one questions ran through my mind. I could only come to one conclusion: they were seein’ each otha, and it wouldn’t be long before they tried to take me outta the equation all together. In the event somethin’ happened to me I’d named Derrick as the overseer of everything I had until Trey turned eighteen. Now, I couldn’t trust him. I’d made up my mind to change all my paperwork.
I couldn’t blame Michelle for seekin’ out anotha nigga. Afta everything I’d put her through I pretty much expected that shit to eventually happen, but D was my boy. He shoulda known betta. The world I functioned in was callous and cutthroat. If word got out that I let a nigga get away with somethin’ as extreme as this it would be the end of my ass for certain. Every nigga on the East Coast would eventually try to cross swords with me. He left me with no choice. I needed to set an example.
Sometime durin’ the endless tossin’ and turnin’, I’d finally fallen asleep. “Daddy, Daddy, up.”
I smiled and opened my eyes. “Hey, li‘l man.” I grabbed Trey up from the side of the bed and growled, pullin’ him under the covers. I found myself laughin’ at his squeals and giggles while I tickled his sides.
“Why don’t my two favorite men stop makin’ all that noise and come get some blueberry pancakes?”
Michelle was standin’ in the door, oven mitt on one hand, wearin’ one of my old T-shirts. It hung down jus’ above her knees and I could see the peaks of her nipples pokin’ through the fabric. She smiled at me. Homeboy or no homeboy I could see why D pro’ly didn’t honor the unspoken rule. Her jet-black hair hung loose down her back jus’ past her shoulders, and even without makeup her skin looked flawless. She reminded me of Sanaa Lathan.
Trey hopped out of the bed and she scooped him up, plantin’ kisses all over his face. “Let’s go eat before greedy Daddy comes and gobbles up all the food.”
I walked behind them into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of juice.
“How you feelin’ today, baby?” Michelle was lookin’ at me curiously.
“I’m good, but I got a small problem.” I’d already made up my mind there was one small thing left to handle, and then I would try to win my baby back. But in the meantime I was gonna have to fully consider gettin’ rid of my right-hand man. Back in the day Chelle used to do all the runs an’ she’d actually picked up our las’ drop due to another schedulin’ conflict.
“I’ma need you to pick up another drop for me. D got some biz to handle.”
“Rah, you said last time would be the last time. I’m getting too old for this type of shit. We need to sit down and have a serious talk about our future.”
I didn’t know if she was sincere, or if she was tryin’ to find a way out of goin’ because she knew it was a trap.
“Look, baby, jus’ do this one last pickup please. I can’t risk bein’ followed by whoever it is tryin’a get at me right now. I swear I’ll make it up to you.” I didn’t have to explain to her how a dead drop worked. All she had to do was take a cab to the Walmart over on Diven Street. I had the plate number for a silver Ford F-150 pickup parked in the eighth row. The doors would be unlocked and the keys were under the driver side floor mat.
I wasn’t sure if I could trust Michele or Derrick at this point. If she got the car safely to my high rise on the other side of town she could park it in the garage and switch up. I had a Benz that was always parked there, unlocked, with a spare key taped under the back bumper. The entire thing shouldn’t take more than an hour. Michelle nodded, no hesitation, and no questions asked otha than would I watch Trey ’til she got back? I picked him up and sat him at the table.
“We gonna eat us some pancakes an’ watch cartoons. We’ll be fine.” Michelle walked over and kissed me on the cheek before headin’ down the hall to shower and change. I still wasn’t sure if I would eva be able to forgive her, but I was man enough to admit her li‘l fling was my own fuckin’ fault so I needed to live with it or move on.
I grabbed my phone off the charger and saw a text from Honey. Shit! I completely forgot ‘bout gettin’ back to the hotel las’ night. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me gettin’ tied up jus’ this once. Ain’ like I didn’t jus’ buy—more like loan—her ass a car. I decided to send her a text: “good morning sweetness.” It didn’t take long before she replied, “good morn’ daddy I missed u – where were u, wut happnd?” I didn’t answer her. I didn’t feel like I needed to explain myself. Honey was in pocket and she won’t a priority ’til I got Michelle back in pocket. I sat down at the table with my son and ate breakfast. My phone buzzed on the tabletop. “Ok, So wut happnd?” It was Honey again. I responded just to get her to stop textin’ until Chelle left the house. “Work happened. Will hit u latr.”
After Michelle left I hit Big Baby to get the numbers from las’ night.
He answered his cell soundin’ half asleep. “Yo, Rah, my nigga, what’s good?” He yawned loud as hell in my ear.
“Damn, nigga, you still in the bed? What did we close at las’ night?” He didn’t immediately answer and I was about to repeat myself, but I heard a woman in the background.
“Big daddy, why da fuck you on da phone so early? Roll back ova hea’ an ...”
No, this nigga didn’t. “Nigga? Is that Shiree? Are you for real fuckin’ laid up right now?” I yelled into the phone. I ain’ even need an answer.
The nigga started stutterin’ and fumblin’ the phone.
I hung up. That was the main reason I ain’t neva let his ass run anything. He ain’t had my numbers and he pro‘ly used his li’l status for the night to fuck and cut deals with all the bitches. I shook my head. Unlike Derrick, at least Big knew his fuckin’ place and wasn’t tryin’a fuck my bitch. I didn’t give a damn about him fuckin’ Shiree. It jus’ wasn’t good business to have ere bitch tryin’a fuck whoeva was in charge for favors.
I lay on the couch to watch TV and fell asleep. Trey was lyin’ on my chest with his thumb in his mouth, knocked out. It’d been almost four hours since Chelle left to pick up the drop. I was thinkin’ the worst. Derrick pro‘ly set me up and planned on me goin’ when he said he couldn’t, and I’d sent Michelle in my place. I couldn’t call or text her. If she did get picked up, eventually they would run the phone records and nothin’ needed to link back to me sendin’ her out there. I had no choice but to wait. Honey was blowin’ me up. I shoulda felt bad for standin’ her up, but she wasn’t givin’ a nigga time to breathe. I finally broke down and sent her a text tellin’ her shit was gettin’ kinda heated on the streets and I was gonna lie low for a minute.
“You want me to come lie low wi’chu?”
I chuckled. Honey was always down for a nigga. That shit felt good, but I needed a break. “Nah, ma this shit jus’ too crazy rite now. Niggaz want my head an’ I cant risk puttin’ u in danger.” Wit’ Honey in line, I could take time to get Michelle bac
k in pocket. Maybe take a quick trip outta town. My phone lit up; it was Michelle.
“Hey, baby, everything good?” I was ready for anything.
“Yeah, we good. Caught a flat and thankfully I got help from some guy passin’ by. I’m on my way home.”
I smiled into the phone. My girl was on point. Yeah, it was definitely time we took a vacation. “While I’m thinkin’ ’bout it, can you take a week or two off work, see if your moms can keep Trey? I gotta surprise.” There was a brief pause. I was expectin’ her to jump at the offer. Don’t tell me she caught up on that nigga.
“Sure, Rasheed. I’ve been trainin’ an intern. I’m sure she can run the numbers and keep my appointments for me while I’m away. She can almost run the place by herself.”
Whew. I closed my eyes and unclenched my fist. For a sec I thought she was worried ‘bout missin’ Derrick, but she was jus’ concerned ’bout her desk. “All right, baby, I’ll see you when you get home. I got some calls to make. You gonna love it, I promise.”
I needed to get a rotation worked out for the new shipment we jus’ got in and get someone to cover the club and run the counts. D was always my first choice but now I had to consider otha options. I jus’ couldn’t trust him wit’ my biz anymore. I called the only otha nigga besides Derrick I could trust.
“Big, you ready to work yet, or you still playin’ in Shiree ass?” Big Baby was a fuck up, no doubt. But aside from fuckin’ the strippers and drinkin’ himself stupid at the bar, I knew he wouldn’t touch my paper.
“Rah, my nig. Yo, I’m ready. Hope you ain’ salty ’bout Shiree. You know how a nigga get off dat mufuckin’ Ciroc. Big Shirley was callin’ a nigga name!”
We laughed. “Yeah, nigga. I done heard her whisper ‘Rah’ a few times when I walked past my damn self. You good, jus’ don’t let that shit fuck up ya game. Need to fill you in on some serious shit, an’ I need you to focus.” I slid Trey off my chest onto the couch, and got up to go in the kitchen. I ran down the events of the las’ couple of days up to the drop today. The other end of the line was completely silent. Big Baby was speechless.
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