by McClung, Amy
Her teeth were chattering as she pressed up against me struggling for warmth. To keep her from getting dehydrated, I grabbed the cup of orange drink and held it to her lips. "Take these two Tylenol to help with the fever and this drink is full of electrolytes, drink and it will help keep you hydrated. I bought you a few different kinds, plus I brought some soup and crackers for when you want to try and eat again."
"You're too good for me. Right now, I am freezing. Can you get me back to the bed, please?"
I lifted her up and got her tucked into bed with three layers of covers before she finally stopped shaking. The cold rag had gotten warm, so I drenched it once more in cold water. Under the sink she had a bucket for mopping; I grabbed that to place by the bed for an emergency.
I removed my belt and shoes and slid in the bed next to her, wrapping my arms around her. "Baby, you're going to be sick," Lanie whined.
"Shh. Don't worry about me. I'm here to make sure you feel better. I'm not leaving until your fever drops. Go to sleep, and I'll be here when you wake up."
While she slept, I slipped out of the bed and cleaned her room. Lanie's house was always spotless so I knew that when she got better it would annoy her to have such a mess. I fixed myself a large glass of orange juice from her fridge to get a dose of Vitamin C for my immune system and popped a few Tylenol myself.
I called Angel and arranged for her to get Macy back and forth to school the next couple of days just in case. Next, I called Derrick and asked for a the next two nights off. He had scheduled everyone due to the crowds getting larger lately. He said it wouldn't be a problem, that he and Ashton could take turns covering if needed.
Angel dropped off a bag of clothes for me too. I had her leave them on the front porch and ring the doorbell instead of coming inside. I didn't need to make her sick when she had so much going on already.
I'd been there for three hours, and Lanie still slept soundly. I went up to refresh her rag and check her temperature, it seemed to have fallen from the feel of her skin. I didn’t want to wake her by using the thermometer. I crept back downstairs to watch TV and grabbed Season one of Doogie Howser MD to give it a shot since she made such a big deal about it. I laughed when the credits open with him typing on a blue screen with white block letters. This show wasn't hiding its age. Even though bits of it were cheesy, I was getting into it. His pal Vinnie had me laughing hysterically at his awkwardness.
"I love this episode," Lanie said as she stumbled across the room all bundled in her comforter. I sat up on the couch and held my arms out to her. She curled up next to me and laid her head against my chest. "Mind if I watch with you?"
"As long as you don't puke on me," I teased.
"No promises," she replied glumly.
Lanie's stomach bug lasted for two days. The morning she finally felt better, she let me sleep in and made me breakfast in bed. I awoke to the smell of bacon which made sense when I opened my eyes, and she stood over me holding a strip of bacon in front of my nose. "Good morning, fiancé."
I pushed myself into a seated position, and she placed the tray of food on my lap. "Good morning to you. I hope you're hungry," she said.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
"Not yet. I'm going to stick with a cup of soup and some crackers just in case. Thank you for taking care of me. I can't remember the last time…I can't remember anyone every doing that for me."
"It was my pleasure. You can get used to that kind of treatment from me, ma'am."
Chapter Thirty-Six
Looking Ahead
Ashton and Gracie had a Christmas Eve party for everyone at their house. They were the unofficial head of our little family. They had extended an invitation to my father for this event, and he accepted. They asked my permission before contacting him with the details, of course.
Macy was pretty excited at the prospect of sharing the first holiday with him in several years. The decorations in their house would put most mall displays to shame. The couple is very much in the Christmas season.
With the extra holiday money coming in at the club, Ashton, Derrick, and Gavin created a fund to purchase presents for children. This year they bought toys, and each took turns dressing as Santa to deliver them to the homeless shelter and the local Children’s hospital.
We all pitched in to help with as much as we could as well. Lanie and I did all our shopping together for gifts for everyone. It was our first Christmas together; we’re engaged and we’re buying joint gifts. The temperature outside was a brisk thirty, but that’s not the reason my feet are so cold at this moment.
Lanie and Gracie had been in the kitchen preparing appetizers when she ran into the living room. “Tristan, it’s snowing!” she exclaimed. We went to the window, and fluffy white flakes of snow were falling from the sky. Some were even beginning to stick. Although in Nashville they usually get ice or barely an inch of snow. Being a native Floridian, this was pretty exciting for me to experience my first snow.
I pressed up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist, placed my head on her shoulder and watched the snow fall. She sighed with contentment, “Isn’t it beautiful? I love when the snow blankets the ground, and it’s the only time the dead trees of winter are picturesque instead of dreary. I’ve thought about getting married in the snow.” I tensed at the mention of wedding plans again. She pulled away from me and said, “I’m going to finish helping Gracie.”
Derrick watched as Lanie went back into the kitchen. As soon as the door shut he walked towards me. “Are you two having issues?”
“Not that I know of, why?”
“She looked a bit…perturbed…when she turned away from you.”
I shrugged; completely unaware of what could have upset her. “We’ve been very happy together, Derrick. Nothing’s changed.”
He patted my shoulder, “OK, good.”
“Where’s MJ?” I needed a subject change before I dwell on things too much and get paranoid.
“She’s in the back. As soon as we got here a few minutes ago she had to change Craig’s diaper.”
Outside the snow was starting to pick up, the back porch now blanketed in white. “Do me a favor and give me two minutes and go get Lanie and send her outside to see me.” Derrick agreed, and I went to do something hoping to put a smile on my fiancé’s face.
The snow had covered the deck enough to give me a message board on their picnic table. I used my gloved hand to write it out. Lanie stepped outside and crossed her arms over her chest when the cold air hit her. “Derrick said you needed me?” I stepped forward and rubbed her arms for warmth, then led her over to view my note. “What is this?” she asked.
“I wanted to see how it would look, and I gotta say it looks pretty great to me.” I had written out ‘Melanie Jacobs’ on the table. Lanie was short for Melanie and Jacobs being my last name, it represented what her married name would be.
The stern, unyielding look on her face had me worried. “What if I want to keep my maiden name?”
“Well, I guess that would be fine,” I answered with uncertainty. In this day and age, a lot of women keep their maiden name for professional reasons, but it still was a blow to a man’s ego.
She must have noticed my disappointment because she smiled and said, “Aw, sweetie. I’m teasing. Of course, I’m taking your name. And this,” she gestured to the name, “is the sweetest thing in the world.”
Wrapping her arms around me, she gave me a loving kiss. “You taste like chocolate.”
“Gracie pulled out the chocolate fountain they used at Derrick and MJ’s wedding. We might have tested it out for flavor once or twice.”
"Tastes pretty good to me." I grinned and bent forward once more for a kiss. We were interrupted by my father coming to tell us dinner was ready.
After dinner, we exchanged gifts and around midnight we began our ride home. Lanie went home with us that night and our first Christmas together would be a happy memory.
New Year's didn't go as well as Christmas, howe
ver. The evening went fine at first. I worked since it's a huge night for the bar business. Since I had to work, Lanie spent the evening there with me. She hung out with Gracie, Mary Jane, and Angel, most of the night. Maria and Macy were babysitting the children together and watching the ball drop on TV.
Just before midnight people hustled to find someone to kiss as the music note, Nashville's version of the ball, dropped downtown.
The bartender's found single women in the crowd to kiss and I made it to Lanie's side just as we got to the five-second point. At the stroke of midnight, I took her in my arms and pressed my lips against hers, dipping her in the process.
"Happy New Year, baby."
"Happy New Year," she exclaimed before pressing a blower to her mouth and exhaling to make the shrieking celebration noise. "Come to my house tonight so we can ring in the new year appropriately?" Lanie requested.
"Already arranged it for us to do that. Macy is spending the night with Maria. I get off in two hours."
"And then an hour after that as well," she said with sexual innuendo oozing from her.
"Mmm…I can't wait."
Lanie waited for me in her bed wearing a black nightie with lace over her breasts and nothing else underneath. We made love and fell asleep in each others arms. Up to that point, the night had been perfect. The next morning, things got a bit complicated.
"I've been thinking about something and wanted to get your opinion. I have an extra bedroom here, and since you are renting your place, I'd like you and Macy to move in here with me. What do you think?"
"Right now isn't a good time. Angel just came home from rehab, and I can’t leave her alone in that house."
Lanie stopped me from explaining further. "Of course. I meant after the wedding. That will give her time to either find a new place or possibly a new roommate to share the expense. You do want to move in with me, right?"
"Absolutely. I hadn't given much thought to it though. Angel began drinking because she felt alone and like the last single person on the planet. Now that I'm getting married, what if she slips back into that rut and falls off the wagon?"
"Tristan, you can't put your life on hold for Angel. She's an adult, and she's strong and has faced her problems head on and came out the other side unscathed. Give her some credit that she can continue to prosper."
"It's not that simple, Lanie. I trust her, but alcoholism and depression is a disease, not to mention the MS diagnosis she is coping with."
"MS is a lifetime disease," she stated the fact as though I didn't already know that.
"I know. It's just that I don't want to move Macy around so much, and she loves Angel like a sister; it will be difficult to leave her there."
"And how do you love Angel?" she asked in an accusatory tone.
"She's a friend, Lanie. I've told you that several times before now. I don't understand the big deal. We probably won't even get married for at least a year." Well, that was probably the wrong assumption to make considering the look on her face when I mentioned it.
Lanie stood up and walked toward the door, "Forget I said anything, Tristan. I have errands to run. Thanks for last night. You can let yourself out."
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Too complicated
I didn’t follow after Lanie this morning. Instead, I decided to give her a few hours to calm down and think more rationally. I couldn’t blame her for being upset with me. We’re planning a wedding, and I’m arguing that I should be living with another woman putting her needs before my fiancé. Her anger was justifiable, but I hoped she would understand where I was coming from and that it would only be temporary.
Lanie was supposed to be home around four, and I go into work at six so while getting ready I kept my phone next to me waiting for her to call. As it grew closer to time for me to leave, I sent her a quick text.
Me: I’m on my way to work for the night. If you feel like talking, shoot me a text and I’ll call you on break. I love you.
No response came through, but I knew Lanie loved me, and she’d talk when she’s ready.
We had three other bartenders on duty tonight; Marcus, Xander, and Grayson. It was the first day of the year, and lonely people filled the bar looking to drown their sorrows with someone. Ashton and Gracie had come by earlier today to remove all the holiday decorations leftover from the New Year's Eve party.
“Hey man, did you ring in the new year with a bang?” Marcus asked as we each stood filling up a pint of beer for a customer.
“Nice one,” I complimented his sexual pun.
Bobby walked up to the bar and held out an envelope. “Your girl left this at the door for you.” I opened the manila envelope and found a letter inside.
Tristan,
Your life is full of complicated relationships right now, and I can’t be one of those complications. You’re not ready for us to get married, and I understand that, and I’m not angry. We’ve been together only six months, and we probably rushed into things. I love you and probably always will, but I can’t marry you until you’re ready to commit to us. I’m sorry.
Love Always, Lanie.
Remaining in the envelope was her engagement ring. “Marcus, cover me,” I said throwing my towel down on the bar and running towards Bobby. “Bobby! Is she gone?” Bobby pointed toward Lanie standing at her car. Even from across the parking lot I could see her shoulders shaking as she cried. She got in her car, and I ran out calling after her, “Lanie! Don’t do this, Lanie!” She turned to look at me before driving out of the lot. Her face was puffy, and she’d been crying.
It felt like being punched in the gut. I had no idea how intensely hurt she had been this morning. I wanted to call her, hear her voice and explain things. I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t answer. I sent her a quick text.
Me: Please Lanie. Don’t give up on us. I love you, and I do want to marry you. We need to talk. Can I come by after work?
Lanie: No. I have to work tomorrow.
Me: Please talk to me!
Lanie: In time. When I’m ready, I’ll let you know.
Derrick was talking to Bobby when I stepped back in the club. “Hey, T. You have a minute to talk?” I followed him to his office, and he closed the door drowning out the music from the club.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, not needing more heartache right now.
“I wanted to ask you that. I saw you run out of here like a bat out of hell and I figured you might need a friend right now.” I handed him the note to read. He closed his eyes and folded it again. “I’m sorry, T. You two are great together. What does she mean by you don’t want to commit? You proposed, did you give her some other reason to think that?”
I sighed and leaned my head back. “I’m an idiot, Derrick. She asked me to move in with her. My response was that I would move in after Angel gets better.”
Derrick nodded, “Angel came home from rehab, Tristan. If she weren't better, then they’d have recommended a longer stay.”
“She could relapse or the MS could get worse.”
Derrick interrupted, “You’re right, but she isn’t your fiancé. She’s your friend, and you can still be there for her even after you marry Lanie. Maybe the real problem is Lanie is right, and you aren’t ready for marriage.”
“No, that’s not true,” I stated not completely sure of the validity.
“Then maybe Lanie isn’t the one you want to marry. Have you developed feelings for Angel now?”
“I’m not in love with Angel, but…” I hesitated in my admission, not wanting to say it out loud.
“But?” Derrick urged.
“But Lanie may have been right about the marriage thing. I proposed while grieving my mother. Not that I don’t want to be with Lanie because I do. I think I rushed into it though.”
“So, tell her,” Derrick advised.
“How do I tell her that I’m not ready to marry her without breaking her heart? Can we go back to only dating after being engaged?”
Derric
k picked up his phone and dialed someone, “You up for a visitor? Our friend Tristan needs a little advice. I’ll send him your way.”
After hanging up, he handed me back the letter. “Mary Jane is going to make some coffee for you. She asked that you bring by a chocolate milkshake with whipped cream for her.”
“I can’t bother her, she has a newborn.”
Derrick chuckled, “Exactly why she jumped at the idea. She doesn’t sleep most nights until I get home. She needs the company. I got things covered here. Go talk to your best friend. She’ll give you the woman’s perspective you need.”
With a large chocolate shake in hand, I stepped up to the Collin’s door. I sent Mary Jane a text to alert her to my presence
Me: On the porch. Didn’t want to knock in case the baby is sleeping.
MJ opened the door and waved me in. She whispered, “Thanks for the text, he just went to sleep. Katelyn’s in bed too, but we can go to the den and talk. I have the baby monitor.”
I repeated my conversation with Derrick to MJ to get her up to speed on what’s going on. I showed her the note, and she handed it back to me with tears in her eyes. “Those dang baby hormones, right?” I said trying to make her smile.
She frowned instead, “That letter is heartbreaking, Tristan. She’s in a lot of pain.”
“I’m aware. I saw it first hand after I chased after her. What do I do, MJ?”
“If Derrick had proposed and then told me he wasn’t sure he could marry me yet, I’d have been devastated. That being said, it wouldn’t have been a deal breaker for me. She’s going to hurt. She’s going to feel insecure about your feelings, and she’s going to be even more jealous of your relationship with Angel. What she is saying in this letter is that she wants to be your priority. And that doesn’t mean in front of Macy, but it does mean in front of other women. You made her feel as though Angel is more important than moving forward with your relationship. Deep down, she understands that you're a concerned friend, but she also knows it is an excuse.”