She sank back in the armchair… She fanned herself gently with a wide-open newspaper… She puffed… She blew her nose… Courtial and I managed to put in a few words!… And then a little speech trying to explain the whys and wherefores of the catastrophe… We didn’t say anything about the little girls… we stuck to the balloon!… If nothing else, that varied the monotony… We went on about the cover… that it was really hopeless… He tried flattery…
“What you’ve got to realize, Ferdinand, is that my Irène is impressionable!… She’s a model wife!… The cream of the cream! I owe her everything, Ferdinand! Everything! No two ways about it! I can shout it from the rooftops!… Not for a minute would I think of denying her affection for me! The extent of her devotion! The immensity of her sacrifices! Certainly not!… But she’s impetuous, quick-tempered!… It’s only the other side of her kind heart! Yes, impulsive! But not mean! Oh no! She’s the soul of goodness!… As soft as milk soup! Aren’t you, Irène, my treasure?…” He came up to kiss her!…
“Go away! Go away, you pig!…”
He didn’t take offence… He only wanted her to understand. But she persisted in her fury!… He tried to tell her that we had attempted the impossible!… Put on ten thousand patches… mended… spliced the lining in every shape and colour, that in spite of anything we could say or do, the Enthusiast was falling apart… that the moths had eaten the sleeves… the rats had gnawed the valves… that it simply wouldn’t stick together! Neither standing nor lying down! That it wouldn’t even be any good as a strainer! A dishrag! A sponge! Or an arse-wiper!… That it was no good for anything!… She still had her doubts!… We went into every detail… we described every ailment! We did our damnedest, we swore, we perorated, we declaimed, we even exaggerated if that was possible!… She shook her head incredulously!… She didn’t believe us!… We showed her the letters we had, telling us off in black and white… they came from all over!… Even without a fee, for what we could make by passing the hat… they turned us down… and not with kid gloves either… they couldn’t even stand the sight of us any more… The heavier-than-air craft were taking all the jobs!… Resorts!… Seaports!… Fairs!… That was the honest truth!… Spherical balloons weren’t wanted… not even at “pardons” in Brittany!… A character in Finistère had given it to us straight when we kept on pestering him:
Monsieur, you and your contraption belong in a museum and we haven’t got one at Kraloch-sur-Isle! I really wonder why they still let you out! The curator is neglecting his duties! Our young people here aren’t interested in digging up dead bodies! They want to be amused! Try to get it through your head once and for all!… A word to the wise!…
Joël Balavais
Local wag and Breton
She rummaged through the files but she didn’t get much out of it… She softened up though… She consented to go out with us… We took her into the gardens… We sat her down on a bench between us… She began to talk sensibly… But we couldn’t shake her conviction that the Enthusiast, in spite of everything, could perfectly well be repaired… that we could still use her… for two or three fairs in the provinces… which would give us enough to placate the architect… they’d get another extension… the house would be saved… all we needed was courage and never say die!… That was what she thought… She couldn’t see it any other way… We packed her pipe for her… Courtial sat there chawing. That was mostly always his way of finishing his cigars…
The people, the passers-by looked over at our group… they were kind of fascinated, especially by the old cutie… She seemed to listen to me even better than to her husband… I went on with my line… my tragic demonstration… I tried to give her an idea of the obstacles we had to contend with… how we were wearing ourselves out with hopeless, more and more futile efforts… She eyed me suspiciously… She thought I was trying to sell her a bill of goods… She started bawling again…
“You’ve no energy, I can see that, neither one of you! So it’s up to me! I’ll have to do it all by myself!… I’ll fly the balloon! You see if I don’t get her up! If I don’t get her up to one thousand two hundred metres!… If fooling around at one thousand five hundred metres is what they like! Or two thousand! Anything they want!… I’ll do whatever they ask of me!…”
“You’re talking through your hat, my dear,” Pereires stopped her… “You’re talking pure blarney!… With a bag like ours you won’t get up twelve metres!… That’s in the first place! You’ll fall into the watering trough!… A lot of good that’ll do us! And they wouldn’t want you anyway! Even the captain with his Friend of the Clouds and his horse! The whole bag of tricks! And Rastoni and his daughter! His trapeze and his bouquets… They’re not doing anything either!… They’re being turned down too!… We’re all in the same boat! It’s not our fault, Irène! It’s the times!… The general crack-up… It’s not just the Enthusiast…” He could talk himself blue in the face, he could swear by his grandmother’s ghost… she wouldn’t give in… She even started up again…
“It’s you! You let them get you down! That aeroplane fad will be all over a year from now!… You’re just looking for excuses because the both of you are shitting your pants!… Why not face it? Instead of telling me fairy tales! If you had any guts… why not admit it?… You’d be in there working instead of dishing out balderdash!… All this stuff you’ve been telling me is a lot of bunk! What about the house? Who’s going to make our payments for us? We’re three months behind already! Twice we’ve been given notice!… You expect your filthy rag to do it?… I’ll bet you it’s knee-deep in debt!… And summonses up to there! You can’t pull the wool over my eyes… You think I don’t know these things? So you throw it all up, eh? You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you? You shitface!… You’ve written it off! A whole house… complete! Eighteen years’ savings!… Purchased stone by stone… Centimetre by centimetre!… You can say that again! And land that’s going up every day… And you leave it all to the mortgage holders!… You wash your hands of it!… You don’t care!… That’s where the crack-up is…” She tapped his head… “It’s not the balloon, it’s in there!… I’m telling you!… And now what? You want to end up under the bridges? Go ahead!… Who’s keeping you? Filthy pervert! Swine! You’re not even ashamed of yourself!… You’ll go back with the other bums, you no-good tramp!… That’s where I found you… Yes, indeed!… I had a family, Ferdinand!… He’s wrecked my whole life!… Ruined my career!… He cut me off from my people!… The vampire! The scum!… And my health?… He’s ravaged me… destroyed me completely!… And now he wants me to die in dishonour… Ho ho!… Men have it easy! It’s incredible… Eighteen years’ savings! Eighteen years of continuous privation!… Of calamity!… After all my sacrifices…”
She was awfully violent. Listening to her curse that way, the starch went out of des Pereires!… He wasn’t cracking wise any more!… He began to cry!… He burst into tears… He threw himself right into her arms!… He implored her forgiveness… He knocked the pipe out of her mouth!… They went into a feverish clinch! Right there in public!… And they didn’t break… But she went on yammering in his arms… The same words over and over…
“I’m going to mend it, Courtial! I’m going to mend it! Something tells me I’ll be able to! I know she can hold up!… I’m positive!… I’ll bet on it!… What about our Archimedes?… Didn’t she hold her own for forty years?… Why, she’d still be in there fighting!…”
“But she was only a captive… You see, sugarplum… it’s not the same wear and tear!…”
“I’ll go up myself!… I’m telling you!… I’ll go up! If you two aren’t in the mood!…”
She was taking it hard… She kept looking for a way out… Anything, so long as we didn’t give up.
“All I want is to help you! You know that, Courtial, don’t you?…”
“Of course I do, angel!… That’s not the question!…”
“That’s all I want…
You know I’m not lazy!… I’d even go back to midwifing if that would help!… I’d start right up again if I could!… I wouldn’t wait!… Even in Montretout! Good Lord, even in Colombes, as assistant to the one who took over my practice!… I’d do anything at all!… Just so they don’t come and evict us!… You see how I am!… Actually I’ve been making enquiries all over… But I’ve lost my hand… And besides there’s my face!… It would give them a laugh, I’ve got to admit!… I’ve changed quite a lot… so they say… I’d have to fix myself up a little… Hell, I don’t know!… Shave, I suppose!… I refuse to pluck it out!…” She lifted her veil. Frankly, she was quite a sight!… In broad daylight… the caked powder… the rouge on her cheeks, her violet eyelids… those thick moustaches, and even a suggestion of side whiskers!… And eyebrows even bushier than Courtial’s!… Dense enough for an ogre, no kidding! With all that hair on her face, she’d scare her expectant mothers out of their wits!… She’d need quite some fixing… she’d have to change her whole face… It gave you pause!…
We stayed there a long while side by side in the gardens, telling each other stories, trying to comfort each other… The night fell very slowly… All of a sudden she began to cry again, so hard it was really the limit!… A paroxysm of misery!…
“Ferdinand!” she implored me… “You won’t leave us at least? Look at the condition we’re in!… I haven’t known you long! But already I know that deep down you’re a good boy, aren’t you?… Besides, everything will come out all right!… You can’t tell me different!… It’s just a bad time we’re going through!… Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse!… This can’t be the end!… We’ll just have to put our shoulders to the wheel!… All three of us together!… But first I’ve got to see what’s what!… I’ll see what I can do by myself!…”
She gets up again… She goes back to the shop… She lights the two candles… We don’t stop her… let her manage by herself… She opens the trapdoor… She starts down… She stays down there in the cellar by herself for quite a while!… Rummaging through the junk… unfolding the cover… tugging at the rubbish!… Seeing for herself how rotten it was!… How absolutely decrepit and ragged!… I was alone in the shop when she finally came up… She couldn’t say a word… She was suffocating with real grief… She sat in the armchair as if paralysed, completely done in… exhausted… finished… Her lid flopping around on the floor… Seeing it with her own eyes had really stunned the old battleaxe… I thought she’d keep her trap shut now… that she had nothing more to say… But then she started up again… after maybe fifteen minutes… But this time it was lamentations… She spoke very softly… like in a dream!…
“It’s washed up, Ferdinand!… I admit it… Yes… It’s true… You were right!… It’s done for!… It’s awfully sweet of you, Ferdinand, not to leave us now… two old folks like us… You won’t leave us, will you?… Anyway, not right away?… Eh, Ferdinand? Not right away… not for a few days at least… A few weeks… You’ll stay on, won’t you? What do you say, Ferdinand?”
“Yes, Madame!… Yes, of course!…”
* * *
Next morning when Courtial came in from Montretout around eleven o’clock, he was still pretty embarrassed!…
“Well, Ferdinand? Anything new?…”
“Oh no!” I say… “Nothing unusual…” And I start questioning him in return… “Well? Is it all straightened out?…”
“Straightened out? What?…” He plays it stupid… “Ah, you’re referring to yesterday?” And right away he starts handing me a line… “Listen to me, Ferdinand! I hope you don’t take all that gossip for coin of the realm… No, you couldn’t… She’s my wife, yes, of course!… I honour her above everything… there’s never been a real quarrel between us!… So much the better! But we might as well call a spade a spade!… She has all the terrible drawbacks that go with so generous a nature!… She’s intransigent! Despotic! You see what I mean, Ferdinand?… Impetuous!… She’s a volcano!… She’s dynamite!… Whenever anything goes wrong, she blows her top!… Sometimes she frightens even me!… There she goes!… And I work myself up!… I explode!… I splutter and stammer!… I lose my head!… And talk through my hat!… It’s not so bad when you’re used to it!… It doesn’t throw you!… I forget it as quickly as a shower at the races!… But let me repeat, Ferdinand! In thirty-two years of marriage… emotional outbursts, yes! But never a real tempest!… All couples have their quarrels… I’m even willing to admit that we’re going through a nasty moment right now!… Unquestionably… But it’s not the first time… we’ve seen worse!… It’s not the end of the world!… To say we’re stone-broke on that account!… Destitute!… Evicted!… Sold out!… Attached!… Is pure imagination… I won’t stand for it!… The poor kitten! Naturally I’d be the last man in the world to hold it against her!… It can all be explained!… It’s out there in the cottage that she cooks up these nightmares!… Alone all day!… With nothing to do but think!… It gets her down… in the end it carries her away!… She works herself up!… She works herself up!… She loses track!… She sees and hears things that never happened!… Yes, since her operation she’s been inclined to… imaginings… impulses!… I’d go even further… Sometimes she’s a little delirious!… Ah yes, several times, I’ve been really taken aback… Definite hallucinations!… She’s perfectly sincere… Like this thing about the complaint… My oh my! You understood, of course?… You caught on right away?… Actually it was very funny!… It was ludicrous!… But she’d done it before!… That’s why it didn’t get a rise out of me!… I let her go on!… I didn’t seem surprised, did I?… You noticed? I acted as if she were perfectly normal… That’s what you’ve got to do!… Mustn’t frighten her!… That’s it… Mustn’t frighten her!…”
“Yes, of course! I caught on right away…”
“Sure, that’s what I thought… Ferdinand hasn’t fallen for it… he’s not that gullible!… He must have realized… It’s not that she drinks, poor thing!… No, never!… She’s the soul of temperance!… Except for tobacco… In a way, she’s more on the puritan side!… It’s the operation that turned her inside out!… Ah! She was a very different woman!… If you’d only known her before!… In the old days!…” He started looking under the piles of papers… “I wish I could find her picture when she was young!… The enlargement from Turin!… I ran across it only a few days ago… You wouldn’t recognize her!… It’s been a revolution!… In the old days, I assure you, before she was operated on… she was a marvel!… Her carriage!… The rose in her cheeks… Beauty personified!… And what charm, my boy!… And her voice!… A dramatic soprano!… All that was wiped out from one day to the next!… With a scalpel! It’s incredible!… I can even tell you without vanity that she was unrecognizable! Sometimes it was almost embarrassing… especially while travelling!… Especially in Spain and Italy!… Where they’re such ladies’ men… I remember it all clearly, I was rather touchy in those days… quick on the draw… I’d go off the handle for nothing at all… A hundred times I was on the verge of a duel!…”
Memories were going through his mind… I respected his silence… and then he started off again…
“Well anyway, Ferdinand! We’ve got other worries!… Let’s get down to serious matters!… Suppose you drop over to the printer’s?… And now listen and try to understand!… In the villa… in the desk… I’ve found something that may help us out!… If my wife comes back… if she asks… you haven’t seen a thing!… You don’t know a thing!… It’s only a receipt for a charm and a bracelet… But they’re solid gold!… Absolutely genuine!… Warranted eighteen carat!… Here are the tickets from the Mont-de-Piété… We could give it a try!… Go see Sorcelleux on the Rue Grange-Batelière… Ask him what he’ll give for them. Tell him it’s for me… A favour!… You know where it is?… Fourth floor, staircase A… Get the concierge to show you the way!… Ask him how much he’ll give me for them… That would give us a little money ahead!… If he says
no, try Rotembourg!… On the Rue de la Huchette… Don’t show him the ticket!… Just ask him if he’s interested… And I’ll go around myself… He’s the worst kind of crook!…”
Death on Credit Page 47