by Nem Rowan
"I jus' wanna remind you, there's only a coupla nights left 'til the moon waxes full. What ya been doin' wi' these werewolves, den? Chainin' 'em up?" he changed the subject, turning his attention back to Ceri.
"Sedating them with monkshood and silver nitrate," Ceri told him, taking another sip of cider. "I've also kept them chained as a backup in case the medicines wore off. Seems to be working pretty well so far."
"Kinky." Dog-End grunted in the background, causing Gabriel's expression to light up with amusement as he glanced over his shoulder at his friend.
"What about you, Leona? Ya like bein' chained up?" he asked me with a teasing purr, and I looked down at my glass before me, knowing I had to keep myself under control.
"I don't see what that's got to do with anything," I eventually murmured.
"Gabriel," Ceri interrupted, and I felt the pressure lift slightly, his hand gripping my knee ever tighter. The witch's attention moved to him instead, and he blew a cloud of smoke upon the table top, the wisps of grey pluming around my glass of gin.
"Can you do the reading tonight?" Ceri questioned, clearly trying to steer the conversation back to the task at hand.
"Nah, I got work to do tonight. A few folks comin' ta see me, expectin' me to be 'ere. I can come round tomorra, though. I know iss cuttin' it a bit close to the full moon, but I can't dump off me clients, see," he reasoned, blowing out one of the tealights and tapping his ash into the molten wax. "Where ya stayin' anyway?"
"The Polish shop near Temple Meads, y'know round by..." Ceri started to explain to him.
I heard him speaking close by, but my focus had become transfixed solely on Gabriel. The strange feeling that had started to swell inside me was getting harder to ignore. I drank some more gin to try and stave it off, to no avail. My whole body was growing hot and a tremble had crept into my hand, so I put it under the table and clenched it into a fist as I laid it in the lap of my skirt. Every hair on my body was standing on end as though charged with electricity and I knew I was becoming aroused, embarrassingly so. I wanted to get out of here, get as far away from this guy as possible.
"Ceri, I wanna go home," I said abruptly, interrupting their conversation.
"Oh—okay, well..." Ceri stuttered, seeming embarrassed that I had suddenly declared that I wanted to leave. "Why don't you go downstairs, and I'll meet you outside the pub in a few minutes?"
"All right," I agreed, discarding my half-empty glass as I rose to my feet.
"Mm-hmm," Gabriel murmured, looking up at me through half-closed eyes as I rose from my seat. "Leona, wazzit? Not a fan o' G an' T anymore? Maybe nex' time I can bring ya somethin' a bit more to yer current tastes."
"Thanks fer the offer, but I think I'll pass," I replied bluntly as I pushed in my chair. Ceri peered up at me and the look in his eye told me he knew what was going on as I reached to pat him on the shoulder before heading for the door.
"I likes dis 'un. Fulla fire, she is," Gabriel's voice spoke as I stepped out into the hallway before slamming the door shut behind me.
Twenty-Six
Although it was freezing outside, it was a relief to get away from the noise and the penetrating presence of Gabriel Blake. I leaned against the wall of the pub, several metres away from the crowded front entrance, sucking deeply on a cigarette as I waited for Ceri to reappear. It was quieter out here than it had been when we'd arrived, but there was still a group of leather-clad men standing around several motorcycles as they chatted and laughed together. I was angry, very angry. I didn't like the thought of a stranger taking control of my body; I felt violated. This body was mine and I did with it what I wanted, not what anyone else wanted. The desire I had felt had quickly dissipated when I left the room, which came as both a surprise and a welcome repose, reminding me that I should have expected this after what Ceri had said. I felt stupid, too. Maybe part of my anger came through that, anger that I had been stupidly naïve.
I sucked the cigarette right down to the butt and blew the last puff of smoke through my lips before tossing the dog-end to the wet paving stones beneath me and squashed it under my heel. Talking of dog-ends, my nose picked up on a doggy odour and I looked up, turning my head and expecting to see that Dog-End had come out of the pub after me but there was no one there. His scent was drifting on the breeze towards me. That was when I spotted a large, dark shape on the other side of the street, the foxy red of its fur coat further saturated by the lamplight shining down on it. It was a wolf, a four-legged werewolf, there was no doubt about that. Its turquoise eyes regarded me for a moment and we simply stared at each other; he was beautiful, long-legged and muscular beneath the dense fur that covered him. Seconds later, the door of the pub banged open as someone emerged, and in an instant, the wolf was gone.
*~*~*
"He's a fucking asshole," I complained as we walked side by side along the pavement, the freezing air causing wisps of steam to billow from our mouths. Ceri held onto my arm, keeping me balanced on the salt-strewn concrete; his face was dour, and he stared at the ground as it passed beneath our feet.
"I don't like him at all, not a jot, not a fucking sausage," I continued, pouting and clinging to Ceri's arm to stay upright as I risked twisting my ankle on a slippery manhole cover.
"I'm sorry, Leon. I didn't think he'd, y'know..." he confessed awkwardly.
"Y'know, what! What was happening in there!"
"He, uh... Like I said, he's got his nickname for a reason." He shrugged, seeming too ashamed to make excuses for his friend.
"Is Smooth Operator meant to be ironic, or what?" I stopped us outside the glass windows of the Marriott hotel, our full-length reflections bright before us.
"He's an Earth witch. He worships a fertility god, so, y'know, he's kinda sex-oriented. Some of the Magick he does requires group sex by the participating witches but my mentor was never into that sort of thing so I've never done that either. To be honest, I didn't expect him to try it on you so hard the way he did. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I was gonna..." he sounded doubly ashamed and unable to look me in the eye, he instead stared down at my feet.
"He's a fuckin perv is what he is, bloody Earth witch, doesn't excuse a guy from being a bloody pervert. I'm gonna brain him if he tries it on tomorrow night, I swear," I cussed, my hand on my hip as I leaned closer to hiss the words in Ceri's face. "I don't care if he's yer friend, yer brother, yer bleedin' fairy godfather, I'll slap him upside his greasy head."
I expected Ceri to apologise again, or even get upset at what I'd said, but instead he held back an embarrassed chuckle that managed to blurt its way past his lips. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold; he looked so cute. I realised I was smiling, and I made a little laugh, too, and soon we both were laughing together.
"I'd love to see his face if you did slap him." He grinned, tucking some of his wavy hair behind his ear and managing a timid shot at eye contact with me.
"You're not afraid of him, are ya?" I tilted my head. He shrugged as I reached to stroke his face, gently caressing his jaw and slipping my hand down his neck where it fell to rest on his shoulder.
"A little, I guess. Gabby's version of friendship is pretty intense, so I was expecting him to be tamping when he saw me," he explained, allowing me to take him by the arm and lead him along the pavement once more. "He can be dangerous, no doubt about it. Just not in the ways you might think. He's much more powerful than I ever was, so... Still, surprised he's not really practicing anymore, though I can see why."
"What was up with his hands? Why were they green?"
"Well, when you practice long enough, dedicate yourself to a god long enough, you start to...change. Physically. It starts with the hands and spreads up the arms, and eventually, your whole body turns into something else," he explained quietly, his voice occasionally drowned out by the rush of a car passing by on the road next to us. "I guess he doesn't wanna end up changing. That's fair enough."
I tried to imagine what he might have turned into. A big ugly frog,
probably.
"Hey, how about we go and get something to eat? How about some fish and chips or something?" Ceri suggested, seeming to cheer up a bit at the thought of food. I wondered if it was more because he wanted to be alone with me instead of returning to the house where Christine and Mecky were no doubt still wide awake.
"I'd love to. Tell ya what, I know a nice place we can get some," I grinned excitedly. "We won't even have to dig it out the dumpster, either."
"You do spoil me," he jested as we turned back the way he had come.
*~*~*
We walked alongside the canal, sharing a bottle of beer and the remaining chips we had left over from the large bag we had bought on the city centre. It was so quiet, not a soul about because of the cold, and the traffic from the roads sounded distant here despite the close proximity. I felt guilty to admit it, but it was a relief to have some time away from Mecky and Christine; Ceri and I didn't get a lot of chances to be alone together, so this was quite a luxury for both of us. We watched the light reflecting off the shimmering, obsidian-like surface of the canal water, sitting side by side on an icy bench before it as the clouds cleared away in the sky above and revealed its cloak of a thousand stars. It was a good night to be out, even if it was chilly. A night like this promised sunshine the following morning and that, to me, was very reassuring. The only problem was the moon, a fraction away from being full, and it pulled at me all the time like a fishing hook, embedded into my core where the beast was restless.
"So I guess once all this is over, we're going to Wales?" I answered, tilting my head to rest it against his shoulder. My hand was clasped in both of his and he stroked my skin softly, warming my fingers between his palms.
"Yeah, I guess we are," he agreed.
"I won't leave you," I replied firmly. "I won't let you on your own. You're stuck with me, ya know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know." He smirked. The light from the canal's surface was twinkling in his half-closed eyes. His throat contracted when he swallowed. "If we go back, would you be alright with staying?"
"Staying? In Wales?" I looked up at him.
"Yeah...I got a house by there. My mam's house. It's probably in a bad way, but we can refurbish it together. Maybe. If you'd, y'know, if you were up for it..."
My clothes rustled as I sat up straight so that our heads were level and I was able to see his face properly. "You wanna offer a home to this stray, huh?"
"Yeah, I do."
I smiled, leaning closer, nuzzling his ear and the side of his cheek before resting my forehead against him. "You can have me, if you can put up with me. Yeah. I'd stay in Wales for you."
I opened my eyes when he turned, shuffling round on the bench so that we were face to face, my hand clutched tightly in his. His face wore an unreadable expression; I thought I saw despair in his eyes, but it was something else, something I had never encountered before. I'd like to say it was true love I saw there, but I'd never seen true love before, so how could I know? Maybe that was a bit cheesy. Whatever it was, it caused a sudden, uncontrollable ache in my heart.
"This is the first time in many years where I've felt such love for a woman. Or for a man, even. But I love both Leon and Leona. I love all of you, you make me feel so alive, like I've been asleep all this time and I'm only just opening my eyes. For many years, I've been dead inside, and I thought that by getting revenge on people who wronged me in the past it would make it better, but it never worked. In some ways I think my goddess guided me yere, to this city, so that we could meet. I think even though I haven't shown her the respect she deserved, she still looks out for me and she brought me to you. Everything about you, your changing gender, your silver hair, the fact that you're a werewolf... It all seems too perfect to be a coincidence," he whispered to me as he pressed his forehead to mine. "You are, to me, Air incarnated. Changing, fluctuating, rising. Knowledgeable, quick-witted, conversational. If I said it was fate, that we belonged together from the start, would you think that was stupid?"
"I dunno if I believe in fate, but I guess so, in a way. Yeah, in a way, I do," I replied in an undertone.
"There's Fire in you, too. We're opposites, see? I'm Earth and Water. We fit together perfectly." He smiled, his eyes closing as he sighed.
"I have no idea what you're on about." I chuckled, my mouth broadening into a grin.
"It doesn't matter, anyway," he whispered, brushing his nose against mine.
I could smell the sweetness of cider and tobacco on his breath, feel the warmth of it against my skin in the frigid night air. I tilted my head slightly and pressed my lips to his in what was, at first, an innocuously romantic kiss, but then one of his hands cupped the back of my head and it fell deeper, our mouths opening, a whimper escaping the gutter of my swallowing throat. Hidden by the bridge overhead and the ten o'clock shadows around us, I didn't think we'd be seen down here, but even so, we rose from the bench and hid under the darkness of the bridge, our embracing shapes obscured by the blackness below. I pressed him to the wall, my only hand pinning him by the shoulder to the rough brickwork; his two hands, at first shy on my lower back, slipped down onto my buttocks, pulling me against him, tilting my hips against his.
Our hot breath puffed in clouds between us. I was breathless, and I could hear his heart, manic, crazed pounding, overwhelmed with excited desire. When he emitted a muffled little groan, I near enough copied it in my own anticipation. His clawing fingers dragged up my skirt, pulling it high so that he could feel the lacy lingerie I wore underneath, the delicate fabric cleaving tight to my flesh even as he slipped a hand beneath it to feel my skin. The other hand went between us, seeking the turgid organ that pushed defiantly through the front of my underwear, and I bit at his tongue playfully as he clasped it in his palm, my amusement at the expression of sheepish amazement he wore when he realised that I was superior in size.
I flipped up his shirt so that I could unbuckle his belt, pulling away the leather strap and after undoing a button and a zip, I shoved his jeans down sharply, exposing the tented crotch of his y-fronts. I could tell he was embarrassed that we had come to this stage. His face was glowing red and his eyes, filled with glittery sparkles, made him seem younger than his years. This was something I had done dozens, if not hundreds of times with many men, but this time was different to all the others. Ceri had been in love before, so perhaps he knew these feelings, but for me this was brand new, a wild and unexplored territory. It wasn't just sex, it was more than that. I wanted him to feel pleasure because I cared for him. I wanted to be a part of him. His shyness meant I had to take the lead, but I was more than happy to do that. The poor darling was nervous, and so he should be. I would have been nervous in his place.
He didn't resist when I turned him round to face the wall.
Twenty-Seven
Ceri snored quietly in the car beside me, his coat pulled up to his chin, his head tilted away from me and his face hidden in the shadows. I lay in the reclined passenger seat, my eyes gazing up at the sky through the windscreen. My cheeks were still reddened. The emotions inside me were turbulent; I felt such a mix of different things that my expression was blank, and I wasn't sure whether to smile or weep for the pain I felt inside. This agonising clench in my heart was unbearable. I felt as if someone had punched me there, smashing through my ribs into the centre where I stored all of my most protected feelings. I had sung songs about love on stage, I had listened to my favourite pop stars sing about it, too, but only now was I finally experiencing it for real and damn, I wasn't sure I wanted it anymore. It was too strong, I couldn't handle it.
I wondered where we would go from here. The pact was sealed; we were officially a couple, and that meant I was no longer a single lady. It also meant it was my responsibility to care for Ceri when he needed it. Well, I had been prepared to do that anyway, so what difference did that make?
Oh, how he had trembled under me as we made love. Thinking about it caused shudders of desire to run through me as I lay there in the da
rk. He was practically a 50-year-old virgin, never mind what he had said to me before. I felt quite pleased with myself, actually, because I had conquered the love he had held for this Wenda woman for how many years, and he was no longer hers. Now, he was mine. All mine.
I was excited for more. As soon as we had our own privacy, I was going to tear him apart, and I had the idea that he was enthusiastic for me to do so, which only made me feel even more rapacious. I hoped that I wasn't just feeling this way because the moon was so close, but then I had thought that last time and things had turned out quite differently to how I had expected. I had thought my initial feelings for Ceri were just neediness caused by the onset of metamorphosis, but they hadn't dissipated after the full moon had waned. Instead, they had just grown stronger and stronger, so I figured these feelings I had now were likely to grow, too. Maybe I would stay in Wales with him, too. Maybe they needed a drag club in his home town. Yeah, I could see that working out pretty well, opening a gay bar in whatever tiny, little farming village he came from. Maybe the newspapers would pick it up, and maybe some comedy writer would write a screenplay about it, and I'd end up portrayed in a movie, with a Pet Shop Boys original soundtrack...