Yeah, he was better. So much better than that drunken bastard. And the TV deal would seal it.
“Jesus, Caleb. Why do I get the feeling you never listen to a word I say?”
Caleb turned from the window. The TV execs had gone, his agent standing by the boardroom table looking irritated. “Sorry. Just thinking.”
“Don’t. It’ll ruin your image.”
“Now, now.” Caleb dug around in the pocket of his suit trousers for his phone. “Thanks for handling this deal, Mike. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” The other man folded his arms, eyeing him. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not too pleased with it, though?”
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
“How about the fact you’re looking out the window like freaking Heathcliff every time I turn around?”
“Heathcliff, Mike? I wouldn’t have picked you for a Wuthering Heights fan.”
His agent made an impatient sound. “Come on, what’s the problem?”
Good point. Because Mike was right. There was a small, niggling doubt lodged somewhere in the vicinity of his gut.
Something to do with a certain brunette of your acquaintance perhaps?
At the thought of Judith, memories came flooding back. The taste of her in his mouth. The feel of her wet clothes and hot skin pressed against his body. The heat between her thighs… God, even the mere thought of it made him ache.
And don’t forget the hurt in her eyes when you pushed her away.
No, like he’d ever forget that. God, he’d been an idiot to keep kissing her, keep holding her when he’d known it was wrong. But he’d never been very good at saying no to Judith.
Why do you have to?
Mike was looking at him, eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer while the insidious thought of having Judith waited in his brain.
You couldn’t, I don’t know, come back and see me sometimes?
He’d said no to her back in the locker room because he’d had to. Because if he’d paused to think about anything other than “no”, he would have pushed her up against the wall and had her there and then.
But what if it was possible? What if he could come back?
“What kind of time commitment are we looking at here?” he heard himself ask.
“Time commitment?” His agent frowned. “Why would that be an issue?”
It would only be an issue if he wasn’t going to live in Australia for good. If he could stay here and not say “no” to Judith. Because why couldn’t he have both? His career and her?
A strange thrill went through him. He could do it, he was certain. The rugby season was only over the winter and though the shooting schedule the execs had shown him was intense, it did allow for him to come back to New Zealand every couple of weeks. And the flight wasn’t very long, only three to four hours at most.
He would have some free time and maybe he could spend that time with her.
“Oh…just thinking I may not even want to leave Auckland,” he said.
Mike’s eyebrow climbed even higher. “Any particular reason?”
There was a reason, but he wasn’t going to share it yet. Not until he’d sorted it out himself. With her.
Caleb gave Mike his trademark grin. “Hey, I just happen to like it here.” Then he looked down at his phone and typed a quick text to Judith.
We need to meet. Sort out a photoshoot time.
“And you always smile like that when you’re hiding something.”
Ah, crap. Old friends could be such a pain in the ass.
Luckily he was saved from having to answer by the chime of Judith’s text.
No need to meet. Shoot today. 3pm. Don’t be late.
Caleb scowled at the screen. To hell with that.
We were supposed to be discussing this first, Jude.
Mike began to mutter something but Caleb didn’t pay attention to what it was, too busy reading Judith’s reply.
I don’t want to discuss it. The quicker we do this, the quicker we can get out of each other’s hair.
Maybe that wouldn’t be an issue now, not once she’d heard about what he had in mind. A way to have their cake and eat it too. He couldn’t give her everything she deserved, but perhaps he could give her some of what she wanted.
Is that really going to be enough for her? A few nights snatched here and there?
The doubt in his gut tightened but he tried to ignore it.
Fine. I’ll see you then.
“Girl trouble?” Mike said.
Caleb jerked his head up. “What?”
“That’s your problem, isn’t it?”
The grin flashed before he could stop it and Mike’s craggy face broke into a smile all his own. “Aha. I was right. Which bimbo is it this time?”
Caleb tried to grab onto some dignity. “She’s not a bimbo, and she’s strictly a friend.”
“Uh-huh. I’ve heard that one before.”
“Joseph’s little sister,” he clarified.
Mike’s smile only widened. “Oh, dear.”
Yes, Joseph was a problem. Then again, what his friend didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. “Whatever you thought right there, unthink it.”
“Too late for that, mate. Got the famous ‘Abs of Steele’ wrapped round her finger, huh?”
Caleb only just restrained the urge to smack the grin off the other man’s face. “No. And don’t call me that. It’s starting to sound stupid.”
“Starting to?”
“Mike. Are we done here?”
“Where the hell are you going now?”
Caleb had already gone to the door. “To see a man about a dog.”
Or a woman about a kiss.
Chapter Six
Judith stared at herself in the mirror of the little makeup room they used before shoots.
Stay calm. Stay cool.
She smoothed her hair, flicked an eyelash off her cheek. Yes, she was calm. She was cool. She had her armor back in place and nothing was going to get under it. Not even Caleb Steele. Not this time. She’d had a whole day to pull herself together after that very ill-advised kiss and now she was invulnerable.
In-bloody-vulnerable.
Caleb would get nothing from her today. They’d spend an hour shooting then he’d be out of her hair. There would be no backsliding. No thinking about that kiss. No thinking about the heat of his body beneath her fingers or the feeling of his hands in her hair. Nope. Only remember the look in his eyes as he pushed her away.
I’m not doing this with you, Judith. Not again.
A slight stinging in her palm made her realize she’d clenched her hands rather more tightly than she should have.
With an effort, she unclenched them.
“Hey.” Grace put her head round the corner of the studio door. “There’s a really hot rugby player in reception. Says he’s got a shoot with you.” She waggled her eyebrows, the jeweled piercing glittering. “Mind if I watch?”
How tempting to say yes. To have someone else’s presence to add to her Caleb-armor. But that would be tantamount to admitting she couldn’t handle him by herself and there was no way that was happening.
Judith gave her a cool smile. “Sorry, Grace. He’s rather shy and wants to do this with as few people around as possible.”
“Shy? Caleb Steele? I thought he was some kind of bad dude.”
“I know, hard to believe, right? Apparently he has some kind of pathological condition. I wouldn’t mention it to him, okay?” She knew she was being naughty, especially as Grace couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it, but hey, she needed to claw back some of her lost ground somehow.
Grace nodded, frowning. “Sure. Not a word.”
“Can you tell him I’ll be there in a second? Oh, and you can take the rest of the day off if you like.” After he’d gone, she’d probably want to be alone. So she could spend a quiet couple of hours drawing mustaches on his stupid, handsome face.
Judith made him wait for a good five minutes whi
le she fussed around with her appearance. Today she’d put on a sleek black pencil skirt with a dark blue silk blouse and black suede wedge-heeled ankle boots. A little bit hard-edged. Just as well. She had a feeling she was going to need every bit of that hard edge.
Eventually, knowing she was procrastinating now and that her skirt really didn’t need any more smoothing, Judith stepped out of the makeup room and came down the hallway to the reception area.
Caleb was standing near the reception desk, a slightly disconcerted look on his face as Grace patted his arm, in full flow about how a good couple of rounds of therapy could help with chronic shyness.
Judith wanted to smile but then his head lifted and his eyes met hers, and all urges to smile vanished.
He must have come from some sort of business meeting because he was wearing a fabulously tailored, charcoal-colored suit that did wonderful things to his shoulders. His shirt was a dark, intense purple, and a tie of dull gold around his neck. The look should have been too much but it wasn’t. On him it was delicious.
God, this so wasn’t fair. The man had no business being so hot, he just didn’t.
“Hi, Jude,” he said softly.
She cleared her throat. “Hello, Caleb.”
“Well,” said Grace brightly, “I’d better go. Make sure you give my therapist a call, okay?” She gave Caleb another pat, one that was totally unnecessary in Judith’s opinion. “You won’t regret it.”
“Why does she seem to think I’m suffering from pathological shyness?” Caleb asked as the studio door shut on Grace.
Judith waved a hand. “Who knows? Right, shall we get this over with then?” The quicker they did this, the quicker it would be over, and the quicker he’d be away from her.
“Wait a second.” Digging into his pocket, Caleb brought out a small, beautifully carved wooden box and laid it on the reception desk.
She stared at it. “What’s that?”
“An apology.”
“What for?”
“For my behavior the day before last.” His gaze met hers and she found she couldn’t look away. “I hurt you. And I’m sorry.”
Something shifted in her chest. Something heavy. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“Yeah, I did. I saw it.”
Damn him. How did he do it? How did he know? How did he manage to get under her carefully prepared armor? Judith clasped her hands together, hard. “I was the one that made the mistake, Caleb. I kissed you, not the other way around. That’s all that needs to be said. Shall we move on?”
His attention flicked to the box. “Open it.”
“Oh, I don’t think—”
“Please.”
Judith let out a breath, went over to the reception desk, and picked up the box. Probably jewelry. Probably the kind of sparkle his TV bimbos would like. Something generic that he usually gave to—
Her heart gave a little jump as she opened the box.
Nestled in black velvet was a pendant, a small bird crafted out of platinum, New Zealand’s native fantail. Its wings were spread, distinctive tail of feathers spread out in a graceful arc, a tiny sapphire for an eye.
A lump rose in her throat. Because she knew this necklace. Had seen it in her favorite clothing shop and had lusted after it for months, but it had been far too expensive.
How had he known? She tried to swallow. “Why this?”
He hesitated. “It reminded me of that bluebird necklace I got you for your thirteenth birthday.”
She remembered, too. The thirteenth birthday Joseph had forgotten, and so had her father. Caleb hadn’t. And that bluebird necklace had been the start of her crush on him. She’d worn it constantly for years afterward and still kept it in her jewelry box.
He hadn’t just bought her some random bit of bling. He’d thought about it. Thought about her. Like he’d used to.
The lump in her throat refused to go away.
No backsliding, remember? Distance.
“It’s lovely, Caleb. But I can’t accept it.” Of course she couldn’t. No matter how much she loved it. No matter how much she wanted it. Accepting gifts from him was a foot on that slippery slope. The one she couldn’t fall down ever again.
He frowned. “Why not? Don’t you like it?”
“I love it, but…”
“But what?”
I’m afraid to accept it. I’m afraid of what that might mean. “It’s…far too expensive and…”
The words died in her throat as he slowly strode over to where she stood and picked up the necklace from the box. He walked to stand behind her, and she froze completely as he lifted his hands and gently laid the necklace around her neck. His fingers brushed her nape as he fastened it.
“Please accept it, Jude.” His voice was soft behind her. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I want us to be friends, stop this fighting.”
All the usual denials came flooding back. The need to maintain that distance. Protect herself. He’d always had the ability to screw with her good intentions, though. Make her want things she knew were bad for her. Make her remember the things about him she didn’t want to remember.
She swallowed and she found her fingers resting on the little bird as if wanting to keep it there.
“Okay,” she managed thickly. “Apology accepted.” Then she cleared her throat and stepped away from him, trying to get her armor back in place. “I’m going to have to take a rain-check on the friends part of the equation for the moment, though. Now shall we do these photos?”
He just stood there, looking at her. “Hang on a sec. I think we need to clear the air about the whole kiss thing.”
Oh great. Heat crept over her face. She so did not want to have this conversation with him. Not now. “That really hasn’t got anything to do with the photo shoot. Perhaps we could leave it until after?”
“No, we can’t,” Caleb said and folded his arms.
Her jaw clenched. “I don’t want to—”
“I know you don’t want to but if we’re going to work together, we need to get some things out into the open.” He gave her an intense look. “I didn’t push you away because I didn’t want you, Jude.”
“Caleb, please. Could we—”
“In fact, if I was going to be honest, there’s nothing I’d like better than to take that kiss to its natural conclusion.”
Her lips clamped shut on the instinctive denials. “So what’s your point?”
“My point is that with this TV job in Australia, I can’t be here for you all the time, not in the way you need me to be. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
Judith opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t need him to be here for her, either, but he just kept going.
“Also there’s Joseph. Hurting you would definitely screw up my friendship with him and I don’t want to do that. You see?”
“Yes,” she said tightly, embarrassed and furious with him. Him and the cartload of assumptions he was dragging along behind him. “I see. And I guess I should thank you for explaining my own feelings to me so succinctly.”
His frown deepened. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re laboring under a massive assumption, Caleb. And it’s not true.”
“What assumption?”
“That I would actually consider a relationship with you again.”
His dark eyes glittered. “I have to say, you seemed more than keen in the locker rooms.”
Her jaw tightened. “I wasn’t thinking straight and neither were you.”
“So you don’t want me then?”
A denial hovered on her lips. But she couldn’t get it out. “I… Look, I told you before I don’t do casual, especially if it’s just a visit every month or so.”
He didn’t move. Just stood there looking at her. “What if I can give you more?”
“What? What do you mean more?”
“What if I stayed here? In Auckland?”
The question was so unexpected that for a moment she didn’t know what to say. “I th
ought you said your job was in Australia?”
“It is. But I don’t have to live there. I can go over for filming and then come back to New Zealand once it’s over.”
A small curl of something she refused to call hope threaded through her. She ignored it. She couldn’t afford hope. Not with him. “You think it’s just about being in the same city, Caleb? It’s not. It’s more than that. It’s about trust.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re saying you don’t trust me?”
“You’re Abs of Steele. The man who launched a thousand groupies. So no, I don’t.”
The look on his face darkened. “Jesus. When are you going to stop holding my bloody reputation over my head?”
“Perhaps when you prove to me you’re more than that.” She forced herself to give him a cool, professional smile.” Now, since the air is well and truly cleared, can we please get on with this damn photo shoot?”
…
Caleb watched as Judith turned on her heel and went back down the corridor toward the studio. Something in his chest felt tight.
He’d bought the necklace as a peace offering, hoping she’d remember the bluebird he’d bought her for her thirteenth birthday. A reminder of the friends they’d once been. And perhaps of what they could be if he stayed in Auckland.
But it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. Not when she still couldn’t get past his reputation.
Dammit. What was he going to have to do to prove himself to her?
Following her down to the studio, he found her bent over, fussing around in a bin full of props, muttering under her breath. He tried not to look at the way her skirt pulled tightly around her rear. There was a little slit up the back, exposing her elegant calves and a glimpse of thigh. Some lace…
Bloody hell, were those stay-ups?
Caleb cursed and looked away, trying to ignore the way his body had begun to harden.
“Ah,” Judith said, straightening. “And here we have one ball.”
He glanced back to find she’d managed to haul out a soccer ball from the bin. “I can’t use that. I play rugby, not soccer.”
Talking Dirty With the Player Page 9