She turned and looked back, feeling a catch in her throat as she watched David John play with Blake. Her son had never had the opportunity to engage in horseplay such as this. In fact, there’d never been a father figure for him. Her ex-husband had been long gone by the time David John was old enough to want a daddy. And that was the one thing she’d never been able to be for her children. A father.
Cassie took one last glance, her stomach clenching as she realized the path her thoughts had taken. Blake Matthews was her employer. In some ways, he’d been her savior. But under no circumstances could he be anything. else. She thought of her children’s lives if she had to take away the bright future Blake had offered them. Deliberately she shoved aside the attraction she felt for him. Gritting her teeth, she flashed on the pain of her past, needing that reminder, as well. No, Blake Matthews could never be anything else to her.
Chapter Seven
Blake strolled along the sunny, immaculately maintained sidewalks of Rodeo Drive. Although most people’s eyes were on the intriguing exteriors of the famous stores, his gaze was fastened on Cassie. Watching her reactions was far more interesting. And more appealing than the casual see-and-be-seen tactics of many Rodeo Drive regulars.
From the welcoming espresso bar amid the exquisite clothing in Fred Hayman’s to the classy yet sterile domain of Chanel, they examined the exclusive, pricey stores. And Cassie hadn’t stopped staring. Not since they left the car to be valet-parked at the Beverly Hills mall.
“I didn’t know malls had valet parking, ” she had whispered as the attendant drove away. From that moment, she resembled an inquiring sponge, examining, then absorbing, the sights.
But she hadn’t reacted to the lavish display of designer clothing as he’d expected. Most women would have lingered over each rack, but Cassie hadn’t. He had planned to buy her whatever pleased her the most, but she hadn’t expressed any special interest so far. Not that she was uninterested. But there hadn’t been any typical female swooning. Instead, she seemed to be registering the sights and sounds. It was almost as though he could see a silent recorder click on, the reels spinning.
They paused in front of the Escada store, and indulgently he watched as she examined the mannequins.
“Do you like the dress?” he asked.
She nodded, then started to move on.
“Would you like to try it on?”
Surprise flitted over her face, followed quickly by the look he recognized as one she used on the children when they suggested something particularly outrageous. “I think we have better things to do with our time.”
Amused, he tried not to let it show. “Such as?”
She held out her hands in a widespread motion. “It’s your city. I’m sure there’s more to it than just fancy stores.”
“So there is. You ready to leave Rodeo Drive?”
“More than ready. If we don’t hurry, the ransom to get the car back from that fancy valet parking will cost more than a month’s mortgage.”
The laughter escaped before he could prevent it. “You’re priceless, Cassie.”
Her voice was dry. “But the parking isn’t. Did you see how much they charge for every thirty minutes? That’s more than most people in Twin Corners earn an hour at their jobs.”
“But the parking in Twin Corners is free,” he reminded her, the laughter still lurking in his voice. “Keeps costs down.”
“Most people back home wouldn’t pay highway robbery so they could park their cars, just for the privilege of shopping at overpriced stores.”
“You weren’t impressed?”
She shrugged. “It’s all flash and splash. Wrapped up in a real pretty package, but still all flash.”
Since he privately agreed, Blake could only smile at her observation.
But, seeing his smile, she frowned. “Is this where you go to shop?”
“You can wipe the disapproval off your face. No, it’s not. But I thought you’d like it.”
“Because most women you know do?” she guessed astutely.
“Something like that. Plus, it’s something different, something a lot of people want to see when they come to L.A.”
“I like doing lots of touristy things,” she admitted. Her smile flashed. “I’m dying to put my feet in the prints at Grauman’s Chinese Theater.”
“Mann’s,” he corrected gently. “Change of ownership. We can go there. It’s not far from here.”
Her face wavered as she consulted her watch. “Kids are still in school, and the younger ones have a den meeting right after.”
Blake could still hardly believe she’d talked the twins into joining the Cub Scouts, but despite their grumbling and superior attitude, he suspected they were secretly loving it. “I think Albert can handle getting them there and back.”
Still, she hesitated. “Today’s a long meeting. They’re taking a field trip.”
“Even better.” He pulled out his cell phone, and in a few moments the matter was handled. “Now the afternoon is free.”
“But I don’t want to take up your whole day.”
“I told you I’d give you a tour. I hadn’t planned to wait this long.” Blake didn’t add that he’d been compelled to spend more time with her. He didn’t want to examine why he was so drawn to her, or how he’d found himself daydreaming about Cassie, instead of concentrating on cost projections. He simply knew he had to spend more time with her, away from six pairs of scrutinizing eyes. Today had fallen into his lap—beginning with the unexpected cancellation of a daylong meeting and Cassie’s offhand remark that she’d like to see more of L.A. And Blake wasn’t regretting a moment of the stolen time.
It didn’t take long to retrieve the car, then glide into the perpetually busy streets. Accustomed to the traffic, Blake navigated easily toward Hollywood. Cassie sat upright, enthralled by the sights on Hollywood Boulevard. As they crossed the intersection at Vine, she let out an excited squeal.
“Hollywood and Vine! Can you believe it? Just think. This is where Schwab’s drugstore is—where Lana Turner was discovered.” She glanced around excitedly, her eyes flicking past the Capitol Records Tower. “Where is Schwab’s?”
“It was torn down in the eighties.”
She made a moue of disappointment. “How could they tear down a landmark like that?”
“Progress. I hate to burst your bubble, but Lana Turner wasn’t discovered at Schwab’s.”
Cassie glanced at him suspiciously. “Is that what you tell the tourists?”
“Actually, most of the tourists still think she was. Just more Hollywood hype. But then, it’s all part of the legend.”
“I don’t care if it’s hokey.” Her gaze roved over the shabby yet bustling street “Can we stop and see the stars on the sidewalk?”
“Sure. There’s a parking lot right next to Mann’s.”
“More valet parking?”
He laughed. “Not here.”
As anxious as a child at a playground, Cassie eagerly devoured the sights of the famous hand- and footprints. And as she’d said she would, she placed her feet into the impressions made by the female stars.
Teetering in Marilyn Monroe’s footprints, Cassie looked askance at him. “These women must have had awfully tiny feet. All of them. I look like a giant next to them.”
Blake gestured toward the small, precise impressions. “Look again.”
She cocked her head, studying the prints, still puzzled.
“She was wearing high heels, very high heels. So were the rest of the women. That’s why the prints look so small.”
Cassie thumped the side of her head. “Of course. With the high arch and the tiny spike heel...” She met his gaze and that smile surfaced again, a flash of pure sunshine. “Thanks for not making me feel like an Amazon.”
He couldn’t help the sweeping glance that took in her endlessly long legs and deceptively slim figure. She was no Amazon. Having seen her in a swimsuit, he could testify that she could compete with any of the stars she w
as comparing herself against
Then she was flitting again, darting over to the slab of concrete with Betty Grable’s scrawled signature.
“Look,” Cassie practically breathed. “She put her whole legprint in cement. Her million-dollar leg!”
Cassie’s total and innocent captivation with things Blake found commonplace continued to charm him. Instead of being disappointed that the glamour of Hollywood Boulevard had grown seedy, she had easily forgiven the changes, thrilled by the stars’ walk of fame, then enchanted with the famous theater and its equally famous sidewalk of hand- and footprints. He had expected this degree of excitement at the wealth and extravagance of Rodeo Drive, not at this familiar landmark. But she’d turned the familiar into something that was new again. It had been a long time since he viewed the sights of L.A. with fresh eyes.
When she finally gave up her inspection of the sidewalk, her sigh was heartfelt. “That was wonderful.”
When they reached the car he glanced at her, seeing her genuine contentment. “There are as many sides to the city as there are freeways.”
“There can’t be that many,” she replied dryly.
After closing her door, he slid into the driver’s seat. “We haven’t even begun to touch on a fraction of them. For every part of the city you’ve seen, there are dozens more.”
She twisted toward him, her expression both wistful and glowing with anticipation. “Doesn’t it excite you to live here, knowing you can find something different every day? That one day never has to be the same as the next?”
This was a surprising side to the woman who’d perfected her mothering and homemaking skills to such an extent that he’d hired her as his own resident expert. “It’s not where you live, Cassie.” As her eyes fastened on him, he felt an unexpected jolt. “It’s who’s in your life that’s important.”
Her mouth formed a questioning O before she glanced away, the flutter of her hands betraying her nervousness. “Home is where the heart is,” she replied, the homily spilling easily from her lips, even though he sensed an underlying regret in her words.
Responding to the subtle shift in her mood, Blake impulsively headed the car in a different direction, deciding that the moment called for a quieter destination. It didn’t take long to reach the outskirts of Griffith Park. Rising up from the valley flatlands, the park extended over the southern end of the Santa Monica Mountains, a green refuge amid the miles of concrete city. As the road wound upward, Cassie watched the transformation from elegant homes to sudden, unexpected open land.
Bypassing the museum, the theater and the extensive sports facilities, Blake headed directly for the observatory, parking in the uncrowded lot. Together they climbed the winding balcony that flanked the observatory. The outside terrace was uncrowded, nearly empty on the quiet weekday afternoon. When they reached the railing, Cassie paused, her gaze sweeping over the incredible view of the city.
She turned to him enthusiastically. “This is wonderful!” Then she twirled back toward the railing, pointing upward. “Look! It’s the Hollywood sign! This is like having the whole city in your hand at one time!” She pivoted again to face him. Her gray eyes turned to a silver flame as the breeze lifted her heavy wheat-colored hair. “This is better than all the stores on Rodeo Drive and the rest of Beverly Hills rolled into one.”
How many women would choose a public park over the famed extravagance of Beverly Hills? The simple, fresh beauty that made her stand out on Rodeo Drive suited the wild rush of deodar and Italian cypress that surrounded them.
She whirled around again, her graceful movements a pleasure to watch. “It’s like being on top of the world!”
And so it was. Blake could remember sharing that identical feeling as a child. It was as though Cassie had removed his jaded blinders. The last time he had that feeling had been when, newly married, he learned he was about to become a father for the first time. His life and his world had been complete. That had been before he lost Elizabeth. And that sense of completion.
Realizing he was treading too close to those tightly sealed feelings, Blake found himself pulling back. Still enthralled with the magnificent view, Cassie didn’t seem to notice.
“You were right. This city does have dozens of sides.” She gestured toward the sweeping view spread out in front of them. “Back in Twin Corners, I used to think about all the places I’d never seen. But I never dreamed how different they’d be. And to think there’s a whole world out there, and I expect it’s all different. I mean, every big city isn’t the same, is it?”
He shook his head as her words continued to tumble out in a revealing flow.
“New York. Chicago...they must all be different than L.A. And then there’s the rest of the world...London, Tokyo, Paris...” Her voice softened, lingered on the last word. Then she glanced again toward the Hollywood sign, the wealth of the valleys and canyons spread out below it. “It’s hard to believe the world’s so big.”
“This isn’t the whole world,” he pointed out gently.
“No. That’s what I’m getting at. You said this is just one part of L.A., which is just one part of this state, this country.” The excitement in her voice was contagious, if naive. “Back in Twin Corners I used to spin my globe and read off all the exotic-sounding names. But I guess I never realized just how much was hidden there under each one. On the globe they’re just neatly printed words. But here...” Her arms spread wide again. “It’s so magical.”
Blake studied her. “I thought you spent your time raising your children and keeping body and soul together.”
She flushed suddenly, then paled as her excitement dimmed. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, subdued, yet a tremulous note crept into her tone. “I was talking about a long time ago, when I was a child. I guess all kids have foolish thoughts and dreams.”
Impulsively Blake reached out to touch her arm. “I didn’t say they were foolish. People need dreams.” He believed that, even though he’d abandoned most of his own when he lost Elizabeth. He hadn’t thought about resurrecting those dreams until he met Cassie. Somehow she made him think of new beginnings. It was that sense of discovery that she carried with her as easily as most people in the city toted designer-brand bottled water. He gentled his voice. “You just seemed too busy to have time to worry about much more than your family. We all need dreams.”
Her answering smile was tight-lipped. “Maybe. And sometimes those dreams are just a road to trouble. Never mind my woolgathering. As you know, I have a tendency to run on.” She laughed at herself, but not kindly. “Guess I’m just being a typical country hick. Saw so many sights, I got carried away.” She glanced at her watch. “We’d probably better get going.”
Blake increased the pressure on her arm, unconsciously connecting them. “I don’t know what I’ve said, but I think I just ruined your day.”
Her expression softened, along with her voice. “No. I loved it all. Peeking into the Beverly Hills world, knowing it didn’t suit me any more than I suited it. Seeing Hollywood, all the things I’d heard about, finding out they were more exciting than I’d imagined.” She turned slightly toward the view of the city. “And this. It’s wonderful. And you really did take me to the top of the world.” She met his eyes, and he wondered at the painful resignation he saw there. “For me, this is the pinnacle. I won’t be going to those other places. And if not for you, I wouldn’t have seen this. So, I thank you.”
Blake tugged her arm, turning her back to him. “I never meant to imply that you wouldn’t see the rest of the world.”
“But I won’t be.” The dusky fire in her eyes simmered, as though she’d extinguished that flame, obliterating her optimistic excitement, as well. “I’m not complaining. I’ve got three wonderful kids, a good job, and a new home. What more could I want?”
The entire world. He sensed it clearly, yet knew somehow he’d stumbled on something she wanted closed off. It was as though she’d posted a No Trespassing sign. He wondered why.
&nbs
p; “Cassie, I think you can have anything in the world you set your mind to. Your children are proof of that. How many kids do you know with the same ambition as Jimmy Ray and Katherine Ann? David John will have it, too. A woman who can raise kids like that alone, with no help, can accomplish anything.”
Her smile was wise, too wise. “My children are my ambition. And they will be my accomplishment.”
Despite knowing he’d pulled back himself, unwilling to delve into his own emotions, now he probed hers. “But what about you, Cassie? Where do you fit in this picture?” The breeze lifted her hair, teasing golden strands that danced in the sunlight. “What about the things you want?”
“It’s not that easy for most of us. Like you said, I’ve got good kids, I’ve staked out a tiny part of the world I can call my own. I can’t go chasing dreams. They just disappoint you, anyway.”
“What hurt you, Cassie?”
Her face closed suddenly, tightly. That No Trespassing sign was back up, thrown firmly in place. He realized it was the second time since he’d known her that she’d closed up so completely. “I’m just a simple country woman. You’re reading more to me than there is.”
He doubted that. It was becoming increasingly clear there was nothing simple about Cassandra Hawkins. He’d been foolish to ever think so. But he also sensed it was time to back off.
“You’re right. The kids will be home soon.” Blake didn’t want to end Cassie’s day on such a downward note, and an unexpected idea struck him. “Why don’t we take them somewhere for dinner?”
She glanced at him in surprise. “All of them?”
“I don’t always have the time I want to spend with the boys. Why waste it?”
“Then you should take just them. My kids are used to potluck.”
“I said we. Our kids live in the same house, go to the same schools. Don’t you think we should do some things together? Like going to dinner?”
Something indefinable flickered across her face, then disappeared. “Sure. The kids will like that.”
His-And-Hers Family Page 9