A Weirdly Perverted Romance

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A Weirdly Perverted Romance Page 3

by Kitty Parker


  Dave was actually a pretty tolerable person, he was nice, if not a little goofy. Maybe he had tried styling Scruffy's hair into pony tails or something, adding little bows. What boy likes bows? Well, except for bow ties. But they are really weird anyway.

  Poor Scruffy, I'm going to have to ask Dave about that some day.

  "Hello Reese!" Mr Tanaka greeted cheerily with a friendly smile, making his way into the animal shelter.

  "Hey Mr. Tanaka!!" I beamed waving briefly at him before walking away from the counter to give Scruffy a pat "So where you going for your vacation?"

  "The Bahamas, can't you see it Reese, the tropical plants, the ocean, nice weather!" He said waving his arms around a bit; he was a dear old man. He reminded me of my Grandfather, who had died when I was 9.

  "Sure can, I'm jealous!" I replied taking Scruffy's lead and heading to where he would be staying. The shelter wasn't one of those shelters with the cramped spaces and bland walls; it was a place full of colour and warmth.

  It had brightly coloured walls, comfortable carpet, and baskets with plenty of blankets in them. And as long as they got along with the other dogs, they could go out and play. It also had facilities for larger animals, such as horses or llama's.

  It was a generally nice place and the animals loved it, hec, I loved it.

  I took Scruffy to his pen and took off his leash, hanging it on a hook on the wall.

  I then lent back on the wall and waited while Mr Tanaka had what I was sure was a very interesting conversation with his dog. After a while Mr Tanaka gave Scruffy a little squeeze and got up to leave.

  "You look after Scruffy" he said with sparkling eyes.

  "You know I will." I replied with a smile closing the gate on Scruffy's pen as we exited it.

  We made our way back to the entrance and I waved goodbye to Mr Tanaka, wishing him a good time.

  I had been planning on taking King and Hana out for a walk after making Scruffy comfortable but when I arrived at Scruffy's pen once more Dave was there staring Scruffy down with his hands at his sides.

  "Um Dave, what are you doing?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

  "I'll settle him in." Dave answered his eyes not leaving the perplexed pooch who looked back at him with a cocked head.

  "But Dave last time-"

  "I'll settle him in." he repeated with a firm tone and I snorted.

  "Well you know where the bandaids are when you need them." I replied heading off to King and Hana's pen; they were Ms. Fines's white miniature poodles, they liked to yap and lick people to death.

  They yapped as I opened the gate, starting to attack my shoes and attempting to dash up my legs.

  I grabbed their leashes and pulled them over their little heads, then making my way out of the shelter hearing Dave curse loudly as I did so. I closed the door with a smirk, I did warn him.

  "So Poodles, where do we want our walk?" I asked looking down at each of them and they yapped and wagged their tails "The Park?"

  More happy yaps, I think that's a yes.

  I smiled and began to enjoy a peaceful walk to the park. Upon reaching it I closed my eyes and let King and Hana pull me along. Ah, the soft breeze blowing on my face, why it feels like I'm flying.

  THUMP!

  "HOLY CRAP!" I screamed.

  Now why am I stuck in a metre deep ditch in an awkward position?

  I sat there pondering for a while, King and Hana drooling all over me much to my dismay.

  A little while later two boys came over and peeped at me from the top of the ditch, laughing at me.

  "Suck ship!" they hooted, only not saying ship, then they poured a shovel of dirt on my head and ran off, rotten kids these days. Stepping on my lawn, eating my apples, making me sound like an old geezer.

  I sat there for what seemed like hours, my legs in the air and my head crushed against the back of the ditch, before someone besides the Boys Who Shovelled Dirt On Me spotted my two legs flailing in the air.

  You'd think someone would notice if they were walking along and they saw two legs sticking out of a hole, but no, that's perfectly normal. Aren't I glad to live in America? Where people get shot at, abused and fall into ditches on a most likely daily basis?

  Yep, aren't I proud of my country, why couldn't I be living some country where everyone was nice? Or didn't see or talk to each other.

  So, back to my rescuers.

  "Lamington!" I saw a girls head peep down into the ditch "There's a pretty girl in the hole!! Why she in the hole?"

  How flattering, I probably would have been more appreciative if I wasn't in so much pain right now.

  Judging by the girls looks; she was about the age of 5 and was decked out in rainbow colours with two blonde piggy tails. Her eyes were a somewhat familiar hazel colour.

  "I guess Edie decided to play his trick" a guys voice chuckled, his voice was also somewhat familiar.

  What? Trick? Damn it this was planned, how on earth did two boy's of the age of ten-atleast I think they're ten-dig a hole that damn big?

  "Rotten kids these days" I found my self muttering to myself again like an old geezer and soon up popped a head that made my eyes goggle and make me wish that the ditch caved in and I fall to the pits of the Earth, having atleast my dignity. Well, if you can class falling into the middle of the Earth dignified.

  Oh god have I sinned so badly? Do I deserve this? Please, if you can hear me, make me invisible.

  It was The Pervert, and he was now laughing at me.

  He stopped after a while and I sat there glowering at him in hostility, trying my best to look intimidating. Let me tell you, when you're stuck in a ditch with your legs in the air, it's kinda hard to look intimidating.

  "Are you finished now?" I inquired bitterly.

  "God, I am so sorry!" he laughed as Hana and King yipped and wagged their tails up at him, little traitors "Of all the luck, you had to fall into the ditch!"

  "I would have thought it would be more unfortunate then lucky." I snorted crossing my arms and glowering up at him with more intensity.

  "Oh you know you loved it Reese." He replied holding out a hand to help me up.

  "Yeah I just love pain, slit my wrists and stab my heart." I replied sarcastically and he shot a concerned look down at me before realising I was being sarcastic, is it just me? Or do a lot of people lack in IQ ratio? I am not an emo.

  I found myself singing softly to 'emo kid' and I felt someone tapping me on the shoulder, looking up I saw The Pervert gazing down at me with a raised eyebrow still holding his hand out to me.

  I tittered realising I had gone off in my own little world for a moment. It was better then the world where I was in a ditch and in pain, with people staring down at me.

  I held out my hand and I saw him eye it for a moment before closing his hand around it "Your hands are tiny."

  "They are?" I inquired looking up at my hand, I hadn't really noticed before, were they small? "Maybe yours are just big?"

  "No, yours are definitely small." He said tracing his fingers along my hand gently.

  "Would you mind actually helping me up?" I asked in monotone with a raised eyebrow.

  His warm hand closed once more around mine and he helped me out of the hole, squeezing my 'little' hand as he did so, I toppled out of the hole and kissed the ground in front of me.

  Ah, good to be free!

  "Hey Lamington, isn't that the girl that Edie said you were-" a hand was clamped over the little girls mouth and The Pervert's face tinged slightly pink.

  "Now what have I told you about Edie being a bad influence on you huh?" he muttered flicking her on the head and standing back up straight.

  "That he's the kind of perverted little freak I should stay away from if I so ever come across a boy like him?" she asked battering her lashes innocently up at him.

  I snorted, did she not notice The Pervert was just as bad. I mean, he did earn himself the nickname The Pervert.

  The Pervert sent me a sharp look which probably mea
nt I should keep my mouth shut about that around his little sister, who was I to corrupt her world of illusions? Like they say, ignorance is bliss.

  I lifted myself to my feet and picked up Hana and King from the ditch, where they had been running around in circles and jumping up and down.

  "My name is Hana, I like your puppy-dogs, they're cute." She responded looking up at them with a doting look on her face, so, her name was Hana also huh?

  "Well you're in luck" I began putting the poodles down, grabbing hold of their leashes and brushing dirt out of my face and hair "This little cutie's name is Hana also." I pointed down at Hana, who had a fake diamond collar own with a little silver heart that said her name on it.

  Hana reached down and put her hand in front of Hana-dog's nose and Hana-dog sniffed it and yapped cheerfully.

  "This other one's King." I pointed down to king who despite his sweet disposition was sporting a spiked collar, he wagged at the mention of his name and she giggled at him.

  "Well uh do you want to come to our house to fix your hair or something? Or a drink? Because my brother did make you fall into a hole." He muttered to his shoes and I smirked, aw, embarrassed?

  "No thanks Lamington, thanks for the offer but, I have things to do." I ushered to the dogs "I am working."

  "Oh." He said sounding a bit disappointed "And don't call me Lamington."

  "She does." I pointed at his little sister who was rolling around on the ground with the dogs; I think they were playing follow the leader.

  "When she says it its cute." He retorted his hands on his hips.

  "Oh? And I'm not cute?" I inquired with a mock-sniff.

  "Well actually-" he began but I waved a hand dismissively in his face.

  "Consider your self cut, I sever ties with you." I said snootily and bending down to my knees to say goodbye to his little sister.

  "Please don't s-sev-well whatever you said with my brother, I like you." She informed me with a worried frown.

  "Heheh feelings mutual pet." I grinned ruffling her hair and standing back to my feet "See you in a while crocodiles."

  I then toddled off to the shelter.

  * * *

  "He had scratches all over his hands!" I giggled to my Grandmother who was in the other room watching the news. It was now after tea and I was telling her about Dave's mishap with Scruffy.

  "That boy" she sighed with what I was sure was accompanied with a brief shaking of her head "What are you doing dear?"

  "Nothing." I replied shortly dumping my lumpy lamingtons in coconut and icing; The Pervert's nickname had made me hungry for them.

  "Is that coconut and chocolate icing I smell? What have you been doing in there?" she asked "Are you making lamingtons? Good grief have you made sure to mix everything properly Reese!?"

  God love my Grandmother, she was the best cook. She's probably wondering what the hec I am doing to her kitchen, hoping I hadn't exploded something.

  They were only a little lumpy, they were edible, hopefully. I would take them to school tomorrow, maybe offer one to Doris.

  "Oh my God!" my Grandmother shrieked looking at the state of her kitchen, which was in her eyes in ruins.

  "Finish those lamington's and then get your caboose out of my kitchen!" she ordered not trusting me to clear her kitchen.

  So I did, after placing the lamington's in the fridge she close to literally kicked me out of the kitchen, cursing in some foreign language I am sure she had picked up from some TV show. Probably thinking it was more polite to curse in a language no-one understands.

  I made my way to my room and kicked back on my bed pulling my headphones on to block out the rest of the world and to listen to the glory that is music.

  The melody of Sailor Moon drifted into my ears and I bounced to my feet and began jumping up and down on my bed singing to it. It was one of the best anime's ever, and it certainly rocked my socks.

  "Fighting evil by moonlight,

  Winning love by daylight,

  Never running from a real fight!

  She is the one named sailor moon!

  She will never turn her back on a friend,

  She is always there to defend,

  She is the one on whom we can depend

  She is the one named Sailor...

  Sailor Venus!

  Sailor Mercury!

  Sailor Mars!

  Sailor Jupiter!

  With secret powers all so new to her,

  She is the one named Sailor Moon.

  Fighting evil by moonlight,

  Winning love by daylight,

  With her Sailor Scouts to help fight,

  She is the one named Sailor Moon

  She is the one named Sailor Moon

  She is the one,

  Sailor Moon! "

  How can anyone in the right mind not love Sailor Moon? It was just that damn awesome.

  I even had costumes for it, black lady's costume suited me best but she wasn't my favourite character, my favourite was Sailor Moon. I could totally sympathise with her grades, well sort of.

  But they were all excellent characters; I loved each and every one of them, though Rini could get annoying at times.

  Soon after Sailor Moon's theme faded Inuyasha's one played, Inuyasha was awesome. The drama, the way it made your heart warm, it was toosweet. I didn't like Kikyo too much though; she wasn't even supposed to be alive, it also annoys me that Inuyasha is so indecisive.

  None the less it was a way good anime.

  "Thinking of you made me cry, so my eyes

  They were filled with tears and all I got

  Is my will to be with you again.

  Thinking of you made cry, so many times

  The only thing left in this song was you

  And I have my will to be with you someday..."

  Yup, definitely a beautiful creation that should be seen by all eyes on this earth.

  I also recommend Kodocha, its hilarious, and Card Captor Sakura, possibly, no wait; it is the sweetest of all the shows that crossed my eyes, it was so adorable and cute.

  Anime just plain rocks. If you don't like it, you are crazy.

  Don't watch it? Watch it.

  Now.

  -

  Chapter 4: Childhood Memories

  -

  I sneezed pressing my face into my pillow; I had obviously stepped in something on my blind trek across the park. That something didn't agree with me.

  I had come down with a raging fever and didn't feel too much like getting up; I didn't even feel like moving. I rolled around and then covered my eyes as the light shone bright onto them.

  "Verdammte!!" my grandmother shrieked seeing my face as she walked in, she really watches too much TV "You look awful Reese!"

  Nice. As if it wasn't bad enough that I felt awful, she had to go make it so much better by telling me I looked it also. Sarcasm.

  "You're staying home!" she exclaimed, yeah, she didn't have to tell me that.

  "You'll need to get some beet soup into you!"

  I groaned, beet soup, why is it that when you're sick people try to shove the most awful things down your throat? Medicine, ill-tasting soup etc. What ever happened to sympathy?

  "Why beet soup?" I cried already clutching my stomach in agony at the thought of having to eat that.

  As if sick people have enough worries, no, you have to feed them crap too.

  "Dear, beet soup will help you." She stated dryly dashing about, putting a wet cloth on my forehead and dropping a bell on my bedside table.

  Just how is beet soup supposed to help me? The only thing that it seemed to help me with is to help me feel like throwing up.

  None the less half an hour when she brought a steaming bowl of it into my room I devoured it with a disgruntled frown on my face.

  I rolled onto my side and hugged my pillow sleepily, but before I could fall asleep a heard a knock on my door "Heyo!" I heard Dave's voice chirp. What was he doing here? I mean, couldn't he visit me when I had homework to do o
r something?

  "What are you doing here?" I muttered "Shouldn't you be at school?"

  Dave, unlike me, went to the private school of the town. Which is why I have no-one to sit with at school, well until yesterday that was. That and a certain incident that occurred when I was 5.

  I used to have someone to sit with but she moved away. But we still keep in contact through emails, letters and the occasional phone call.

  I had made friends with her during that incident when I was 5. That incident is also one of the many reasons why I loathe Kelly Kosher.

  Ok, want to hear what began the never-ending feud involving Kelly Kosher and I?

  Ok, going back in time now...

  * * *

  I sat there minding my own business and eating my PB&J sandwich while the rest of the kid population rushed about playing tag and climbing things that weren't meant to be climbed. Well, what the school teachers advised us not to climb anyway. I always found sitting on the branch of a tree as I was now a peaceful place to be.

  This was my first day of school here, as previous events caused me to move in with my Grandmother and Grandfather, where I lived a much happier life might I add. Only taking my mothers prized electronic keyboards she had stolen. I had always thought they had the prettiest sound, but unfortunately I could never play them the way she did.

  I would sit there for hours trying to play a pretty tune but all that came out was a mess of out of tune notes, I wasn't good at all! I eventually gave up and decided that if I ever came across a piano player that could play beautiful melodies-I would kidnap them!!

  I twiddled my choppy dark brown hair around my finger and observed the school kids. I was kicking my feet while gripping the side of the tree and chewing on my sandwich.

  My eyes soon fell upon a blonde-pigtailed girl. She was yelling at a girl with black mini-plaits who cowered in her overall covered form looking close to tears.

  "Nobody likes you Alexandria, why are you even here? Go jump in a mud puddle!" I heard the blonde shriek and I frowned at her jumping down from the tree in which I sat and stalking over to the scene of the crime.

  I stood in front of Alexandria and crossed my arms "What do you think you're doing to my friend spaghetti brains!?"

 

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