by Selena Kitt
“Thank you.” It was such a silly phrase, under the circumstances, but there wasn’t a better one.
“From what the police have pieced together, Catherine found out through this mutual friend, Vanessa, that Rob was getting one of her puppies,” Celeste continued. “This was right after Catherine lost in court and she was pretty pissed.”
“I told you she hated to lose.” Rob’s face darkened at the memory.
“Catherine knew she couldn’t get past security here,” Tyler said. “Jesse said she tried, showing up drunk and standing at the gate, punching in random codes, the week before.”
“Yeah,” Rob agreed. “That’s when I installed the cameras and made sure we were doing visual checks at the gate.”
“Apparently, this Vanessa is a model wannabe or something?” Celeste shrugged. “Anyway, Catherine got her a meeting with someone important. I don’t know who.”
“Michael Kors,” Rob chimed in.
“Right. Of course, the meeting happened to be at the same time Rob was picking up the puppy. So, Catherine told Vanessa not to worry, she’d take care of it.”
“She took care of it all right,” Tyler muttered.
It all made horrible, perfect sense, except one thing.
“How did she know whoever came to pick up the puppy wouldn’t recognize her?” I asked. “It could have been Jesse or Tyler or someone who knew her, right?”
The room grew quiet.
Finally, Celeste spoke up. “She didn’t. From what Vanessa says, she thought Rob was coming.”
“She planned to kill me there,” Rob said softly.
“Oh my God.” The blood drained from my face at the thought. I remembered Catherine, that twisted smile and the evil look in her eyes when she pulled the trigger. Had she decided to shoot me because she couldn’t get to him? Or had she changed her mind on the ride over? Then something occurred to me. “What about the hair? The wig?”
“I called her on the way.” Katie flushed, sounding miserable as she spoke. “I called to say I was running late.”
Oh no. So of course, Catherine knew Rob wasn’t coming, and when she found that out, her whole plan had to change. And she just rolled with it, I thought. Like a steamroller, right through the middle of my life.
“She knew Katie probably wouldn’t recognize her.” Tyler gave Katie an extra, comforting squeeze. “And it gave her enough time to raid Vanessa’s wardrobe and come up with something else.”
Something else. Like killing me. Or all of us.
Then I remembered.
“Oh my God, the puppy. How is she?”
“Oh, she’s fine,” Katie smiled, sliding out of Tyler’s lap and heading toward the door. “I’ve been taking good care of her.”
“How are you feeling now?” Sarah asked. I think it was the first time she’d spoken since we all said hello.
“Better.” I smiled at her, knowing she meant well, but I couldn’t answer her honestly. No one wanted to hear about my broken heart. Besides, they all knew. “Getting better.”
“Here she is!” Katie appeared in the doorway, carrying the puppy. She was enormous, a good twenty pounds already, twice the size of a newborn, and she flopped onto the bed when Katie put her down, tripping over her big paws on her way over to say hello.
“Easy!” Rob cautioned, but I didn’t care how much my shoulder hurt when the puppy hurled herself into my arms.
I buried my face in her fur and let her lick me and smelled her sweet puppy breath.
“Such a feisty girl,” I laughed as she nipped at my hands. “You’re a fighter, huh? I’m gonna call you Pepper.”
I looked up at Rob, realizing I’d named a baby and a puppy in the same week, except we only got to keep one of them.
“There’s just one thing... I don’t know, maybe I dreamed it. My memory is pretty fuzzy.” I pet Pepper, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she panted in my lap. “Catherine said something... it’s all muddled... something about your brother.”
I looked at Sarah, frowning. “Do you have a brother?”
“No.” She shook her head, glancing at Rob and shrugging.
“And then she said something about...” I hesitated, looking at Rob, and then laughed. “Okay, it’s crazy, I must have dreamed it or hallucinated or something. She said something about you killing a man, Rob. When you were... twelve?”
No one said anything. The silence hung there as I looked around the room at their faces. None of them met my eyes.
“Yeah, it’s crazy.” I shook my head. “It must have been all those drugs they gave me.”
“Sounds like they were good ones,” Tyler said with a grin, making everyone laugh “Can I have some?”
“None for you!” Katie punched him on the shoulder with a laugh.
“Okay, you guys.” Rob stood, stretching. “I think it’s about time we let the patient get some rest.”
“Do you want me to take her?” Katie asked, nodding at the puppy in my lap.
“No.” I scratched her neck, smiling. “Let her stay.”
“Celeste, will you tell Daisy to bring our girl up some food?” Rob asked. He winked at me. “No more hospital food. Daisy made homemade ravioli. And chocolate cake.”
I smiled, even though I didn’t have much of an appetite.
They all filed out, one by one, giving me gentle hugs before going.
When they were gone, Rob joined me in bed, putting his head in my lap next to the puppy and let her lick his face. I stroked them both.
“Glad to be home?” he asked.
“I’m glad to be with you.”
“Are you?” He tilted his head to look up at me, eyes searching. “Cuz I’ve been nothing but trouble since you met me.”
“You are trouble.” I laughed at his little pun. “But I’m the one who followed you.”
“I’m sorry.” He sighed, closing his eyes.
“I’m not.” I ran my hand through his hair, wondering if Esther’s would have been so dark and thick. Wondering if our next baby would have my chin, his eyes. Because I knew, no matter what, I didn’t regret it, not a moment of it.
“I’d do it again.” I whispered. My heart had been broken in innumerable pieces and yet here it was, beating in my chest, put back together in this moment by this man. “I’d follow you anywhere.”
Epilogue
I was glad we had her cremated, because some raw, surreal, animal part of me wanted to steal her away and bring her home with me and never let her go. I had a hard enough time giving her up at the hospital. I couldn’t believe it was the last time I would see her face. I put her pictures in my nightstand and I kissed her every night before I went to bed. My therapist—Bill Williams, who had a name I always snickered over, but Rob said he came highly recommended and so far, he’d been good—said it was all healthy. It was all a part of grieving the loss.
Now her body was nothing but ash and dust, her name a memory engraved on a rose-colored tombstone.
“It better not rain.” I frowned up an errant cloud through tinted windows as Jesse drove the car through the winding paths, rows of headstones on either side.
Rob laughed. “It never rains in California.”
The day we held the memorial had been beautiful too. I could have used some of my dingy, gray Detroit sky that day. I couldn’t believe it had been six months already. It seemed like yesterday. And a million years ago. I had her ashes in a heart-shaped urn at home, but I wanted her to have a headstone too, a marker that said, “I was here.” She had lived, her heart was beating in this world, if just for a moment. For a long time, I didn’t know which was worse, the shock of what had happened, or the sorrow of what never would. We would never see her first step, hear her first word.
Jesse stopped the car and opened the door for us.
I lifted my face to the sunshine as I carried my guitar toward Esther’s grave. The clouds had moved out of the way. The world was bright again.
“Hi baby.” I traced the letters as I sat, cro
ss-legged on one side of her stone, waiting for Rob to situate himself on the other. “Sorry it’s been so long, but Mommy and Daddy have been busy.”
Rob just rubbed his thumb over her name. He didn’t talk to her, not like I did, but I know he thought about her, remembered her.
“Let’s play her song.” I pulled my guitar around front, strumming, making sure it was in tune.
We were on our way to the recording studio, but I’d suggested this little detour first, and Rob had agreed. It just seemed right that Esther heard it first. We’d been busy for months writing two sets of songs—one for Trouble to record for their new album, and another set for the two of us. Rob’s record company had been thrilled when he told them he was doing a solo album, which would include several duets.
With me, of course.
Rob strummed the beginning chords, the sound floating in the afternoon air, a song that always made me cry. I didn’t know how in the world we were going to get through recording it. Our song for Esther—Midnight Light.
Rob sang:
Morning shines through your hair - and I rise - to the sight - of the dawn in your eyes—
You woke my heart in a burst - that first time - all I saw - was a light-flooded night—
Only promises to come - all we had - was everything - between kisses and sighs—
Undressing as we dressed – perfect day - diner breakfast – love like art on the walls—
Knowing that we’ll never die—
Then it was my turn, my eyes on Rob’s, feeling tears slipping down my cheeks, my voice a little husky:
Waking wide in your gaze – without guile – state of grace – small and wild in your arms—
I felt so safe to be free - surrendered heart – frayed desires - wanting only for more—
Unshaven chin brushing my skin – down on my knees -your poetry – a symphony of guitars—
Love deep inside unfolds alive – lightning strikes – thunder roars - bursting my skies like a storm—
Knowing that we’ll never die—
And then it was the two of us, my voice following his in each sad refrain:
Then the hard came – like a hard rain – like a night train – and the hard pain – to watch your light fade—
You watched my light fade – darkening your flame – and your heat was – so far away – and my heart broke—
And your heart broke – and her heart stopped – and my heart stopped – I was helpless - and the night came—
And the night came – and the darkness – it was heartless – and our hearts stopped – and the light died—
And we began to die—
And in the end, it was both of us singing together, our voices lifted in sweet harmony:
Then I found your hand – reaching out in the darkness – and I felt you touch me inside – holding my heart in your hands—
And then I saw your eyes – through the river of blackness – burning flames in the darkness – you were my midnight light—
You are my midnight light – through the pain and the anguish - you cannot be extinguished – you are my midnight light—
You are my midnight light – through the pain and the anguish - you cannot be extinguished – you are my midnight light—
You are my midnight light—
You are my midnight light.
We sang the last few notes, our voices carrying together on the wind. Our gaze met and locked, and I saw all the sadness and love and pain and joy in his eyes. We had loved and lost the world. We had held our own beating heart in our hands for one brief moment.
Rob got to his feet, holding his hand out to me, and I took it, letting him help me up.
“It’s time,” he said.
And it was.
It was time to share her light, and ours, with the world.
The End
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ABOUT SELENA KITT
Selena Kitt is a NEW YORK TIMES bestselling and award-winning author of erotic and romance fiction. She is one of the highest selling erotic writers in the business with over two million sexy books sold!
Her writing embodies everything from the spicy to the scandalous but watch out-this kitty also has sharp claws and her stories often include intriguing edges and twists that take readers to new, thought-provoking depths.
When she’s not pawing away at her keyboard, Selena runs an innovative publishing company (excessica.com) and bookstore (excitica.com), as well as two erotica and erotic romance promotion companies (excitesteam.com and excitespice.com) and she also now runs the Erotica Readers and Writers Association (erotica-readers.com).
Her books EcoErotica (2009), The Real Mother Goose (2010) and Heidi and the Kaiser (2011) were all Epic Award Finalists. Her only gay male romance, Second Chance, won the Epic Award in Erotica in 2011. Her story, Connections, was one of the runners-up for the 2006 Rauxa Prize, given annually to an erotic short story of “exceptional literary quality.”
Her books, Babysitting the Baumgartners, Adventures with the Baumgartners, Heidi and the Kaiser and Unfolding are now adult films by Adam & Eve, directed by Kay Brandt.
She can be reached on her website at www.selenakitt.com
SELENA KITT’S OTHER WORKS
MOVIES
Adventures with the Baumgartners
Babysitting the Baumgartners
NOVELS
BAUMGARTNER SERIES NOVELS
A Baumgartner Reunion
Adventures with the Baumgartners
Babysitting the Baumgartners
Baumgartner Generations: Henry
Baumgartner Generations: Janie
Baumgartners Empty Nest
Crazy About the Baumgartners
Letters to the Baumgartners
The Baumgartners Plus One
DIVINE VAMPIRES SERIES
The Blood of Angels
The Kiss of Angels
HIGHLAND WOLF PACT TRILOGY
Highland Wolf Pact
Highland Wolf Pact: Compromising Positions
Highland Wolf Pact: Blood Reign
PARANORMAL/FANTASY NOVELS
Bear Necessities
Blind Date
Hooked (Blood Courtesans)
The Real Mother Goose
The Song of Orpheus
The Surrender of Persephone
TABOO/FORBIDDEN NOVELS
Heidi and the Kaiser
Hussy
Forbidden Fruit
Naughty Bits (Revised)
Step Beast
Yank
THREESOME/MENAGE NOVELS
Bluebeard’s Wife
Taken
The Sybian Club
Under Mr. Nolan’s Bed
Unfolding
UNDER MR. NOLAN’S BED TRILOGY
Temptation
Confession
Grace
SELENA KITT BOX SETS
The Baumgartner Box Set 1
The Baumgartner Box Set 2
Girls Only Complete Boxed Set
Highland Wolf Pact Boxed Set
Modern Wicked Fairy Tales: Complete #1
Myths Behaving Badly Box Set
Nolan Trilogy Boxed Set
Power Play: The Complete Collection
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—BABY SERIES—Volume 1
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GIRLS—Volume 1
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GIRLS—Volume 2
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GIRLS—Volume 3
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GIRLS—Volume 4
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GIRLS—Volume 5
Tempting His Best Frie
nd—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GUYS—Volume 1
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GUYS—Volume 2
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GUYS—Volume 3
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GUYS—Volume 4
Tempting His Best Friend—Forbidden Love A-Z—THE GUYS—Volume 5
ANTHOLOGIES
Back to the Garden (Revised)
Baumgartner Hot Shorts
Confessions
EcoErotica
Quickies
Tickled Pink
STORIES
BAUMGARTNER SERIES STORIES
A Baumgartner Anniversary
A Baumgartner Christmas
A Baumgartner Valentine
Baumgartners Dirty Show
Meet the Baumgartners
EROTICA
A Different Angle
A Twisted Bard’s Tale
Connections
Hannah’s Choice
I’ll Be Your Superman
On Cherry Hill
Sacred Spots
Second Chance
Shorn
Starving Artist
The Flintstone Experiment
ROMANCE
Christmas Stalking
Unbreakable Bonds
GIRLS ONLY
Girls Only: College Days
Girls Only: First Time
Girls Only: Girl Scout Trip
Girls Only: Moms’ Night Out
Girls Only: New Year’s Resolution
Girls Only: Pajama Party
Girls Only: Pool Party
Girls Only: Stay
Girls Only: Sybian Sorority
Girls Only: The Hairdresser
MODERN WICKED FAIRY TALES
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Alice
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Beauty
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Bluebeard
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Briar Rose
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Frog Prince
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Goldilocks
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Gretel
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Peter and the Wolf
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Pinocchio
A Modern Wicked Fairy Tale: Rapunzel