by Cathryn Fox
“No, I don’t think I did.”
“Then why were you with him?”
“Because he fit my mother’s criteria for a husband. Right family, right side of the tracks, right political career. No one outside her social circle was good enough for her only daughter.”
She felt Jag stiffen beside her and suspected her words hit like a sucker punch. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest you weren’t good enough.”
“But wasn’t that why you had nothing to do with me in high school?” he asked, calling her out.
“Yes.” She placed her hands on his chest, emotions rising in her. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, her approval was always very important to me, but I don’t like myself, Jag. I don’t like the doormat I’ve become because of it.”
“It’s okay, I know deep inside you’re not a product of your mother any more than I’m a product of my father.” He raked his hands through his hair, and his voice dropped an octave. “To be honest, I’m kind of glad you avoided me in high school. I wouldn’t have wanted to bring you around my place anyway. My father was a drunken, cheating bastard, who hurt my mother more times than I can remember. She didn’t deserve that from him. She was the sweetest person. She was so good to me, Alix.” His voice hitched when he said, “Even when she was hurting, she tried to hide it, and shelter me.”
Her heart squeezed at the pain she heard in his voice. “I’m sorry.”
“He resented her,” he continued. “Resented having to stay because she got pregnant right out of high school. He forfeited a scholarship that was his ticket to a better life. He stayed behind and did what was supposed to be the right thing, but he grew to hate his life. He buried his sorrows in a bottle and in the beds of other women.”
“Why did your mother stay?” she asked quietly, her heart tightening from the fact that he would share something so personal, so painful with her.
“She stayed because by the time she found out, she felt it was too late to get out or start over again, especially with a kid in tow. She turned a blind eye, even though it slayed her. I hate what he did to her.”
“And to you.”
He shrugged, but she knew his pain ran deep. “And that’s why you became a private investigator specializing in infidelities.”
“Yeah, I guess. I figure if I catch these guys early enough, I can prevent what happened to my mother. ”
“Jag,” she began. “You know, you’re as sweet, kind, and caring today as you were all those years ago.”
“Shhh,” he whispered, his eyes glinting. “I have a reputation to uphold around here.” When she chuckled, he squared his shoulders and shot her an accusing glare. “Hey, wait, I thought you said you didn’t remember me.”
She shifted from foot to foot and gave him a coy look. “Yeah, well, maybe I remember more than I admitted.”
His mouth turned up at the corner, making him look boyish and adorable. “And maybe I know more than I admitted, too.”
She caught a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and asked, “Oh, yeah? Such as?”
He tapped her nose. “Well, I remember the straitlaced, straight A, popular girl who was perfect by anyone’s standards. But I knew her secret, something she kept from the entire world.”
She bit down on her lip. He knew about her fetishes, but how? “How did you know?”
“Do you remember that day I came by your place to collect the camera you borrowed?”
Alix’s mind raced back in time, remembering the day he’d shown up on her doorstep. “Yes,” she answered.
His hands spanned her waist, and she never felt such an easy intimacy with anyone. “You answered the door in a short pink robe.”
Her stomach quivered. Just before he’d arrived that day she’d been… “You…you knew what I was doing. How?”
“I saw you, baby. I heard strange noises as I cut through your backyard, and when I peeked through the fence and found you lounging by the pool, touching yourself as you flipped through pictures on your camera, I knew there was another side of you.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You never said anything.”
“I didn’t want to embarrass you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered quietly. God, she would have been so mortified if he’d mentioned it to her back then.
She drew a breath, thinking about the sexy boudoir pictures she took at the studio. Heat moved into her cheeks.
Jag must have misread her reactions. He brushed his thumb over her lip and said, “Hey, don’t be embarrassed now.”
“Actually, I’m not,” she said, completely comfortable with Jag and becoming much more comfortable letting the other side of herself shine through. “But I’m wondering why you’re telling me now.”
“Because I want you to know you can be yourself around me, and I like that sexy side of you.”
He gave her a warm smile that robbed her of her next breath and then looked past her shoulders. Heart fluttering, she turned to follow his gaze. In the valley below, she spotted Coop coming from the small cottage at the back of the lodge.
“Does Coop live in the cottage?”
“No.”
She heard sadness in his voice and spun back to him. “What?”
He rubbed the stubble on his chin and said, “He doesn’t like to talk about it, so this is between us, okay?” She nodded, and he continued. “He bought this ranch for his mother. She’s the one who lives out back.”
“Oh, wow, I had no idea. Wait, didn’t you say you all owned it?”
“We do. His mother suffers from Alzheimer’s, and he bought this ranch because she grew up on one, and it helps her feel more content. Coop couldn’t afford it alone, so Mac and I went in on it with him.”
A bone-deep warmth flowed through her. Honest to God, he was the sweetest guy she knew, and how she thought she could have sex with him without feeling something more was beyond her. She briefly pinched her eyes shut and pressed her fingers to her temples. Emotions were not a part of this fantasy.
Her throat tightened, and she struggled to speak. “Does Coop live here full-time?”
“No, he has a caretaker for his mother, but we fly out whenever we can.”
She exhaled slowly. “If I owned this place, I’d live here full-time.”
“Really, you’d give up the rat race and move here?”
“Yeah, I would. I never wanted to be in politics, Jag.”
He touched a strand of her hair, running it through his fingers. She shivered again, remembering the way he touched her body with those rugged hands of his. “What is it you wanted to do?”
“I wanted to be a teacher.”
“What did you want to teach?”
“It didn’t really even matter.” Sadness moved through her. “I just love kids and love being around them.”
“And now?”
She gave him a playful wink, not wanting to think about a life without her own kids. “Now, I think I’d like to be a cowgirl.”
Jag laughed. “Well, you came to the right place for that. And wouldn’t you just know it? We have children’s camps here at the end of the summer. Cowgirl instructors are always needed. That would certainly kill two birds with one stone.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Did you ever think about living here full-time?”
He shrugged easily. “Sure, I can work anywhere. I can hunt down cheaters in any city.”
“Then why don’t you?”
He pointed to the large homestead by the lodge. “Because that’s a big old lonely house to be in by yourself. It needs kids, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I do.”
She looked at the house and pictured herself living in it. She’d have to freshen up that paint, of course, and it really did need a little garden out back, and that rail, well, every child needed a rail to slide down and that one wasn’t safe at all. She closed her hand over her stomach and felt a maternal pull. She quickly stopped herself from fantasizing. She couldn�
��t have kids, and in less than a week she’d be leaving here, heading back home to pick up the pieces of her life and figure out what was next. Jag didn’t exist in that reality, and she’d be wise to remember that.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, turning her to face him.
Concern danced in his eyes as they moved over her face. “Nelson wanted kids,” she said, baring her soul. “I couldn’t give them to him.”
He feathered his thumb over her cheek, brushing away a tear. “Alix? What’s wrong?”
“Last year the doctor said my chances of conceiving were slim.”
“There are other ways to have children.”
She snorted. “Yeah, like having sex with someone else?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Nelson wasn’t just cheating, Jag. He had a baby on the way.”
His eyes turned a darker shade of brown as he shook his head. “Nelson’s an asshole. You do realize that, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I don’t know why I just told you that.”
“Because he hurt you.”
“Maybe,” she said. “Or maybe because you’re easy to talk to, easy to be with…easy to trust.”
Her words seemed to trigger a reaction in him. He pulled her closer, and the tenderness that moved over his face did the strangest things to her insides. “He’s never going to hurt you again, Alix. Not if I have anything to do with it.”
She shook her head; the warmth and comfort he offered were like a healing balm to her soul. She snuggled into him. “It’s strange, really. I’m more angry than hurt. Angry that I’ve wasted so many years on him, all because I needed to play the role my mother assigned to me.”
He captured her hand. “Don’t waste any more time thinking about him, not when there are so many other important things to think about.”
“Yeah, like what?” She smiled up at him and felt a connection that went beyond their agreement of a weeklong affair. She’d crossed an imaginary line in the sand with him, and was treading on dangerous territory, one that could end in more tears.
This is so not good. So not good at all.
“Like me.” He gave her a boyish, lopsided grin. “And all the things you want to do today.”
“Okay.”
A noise sounded, and they both turned to see Colt climb out of his tent. Looking rugged, sexy, and sleepy, he stretched out his arms, tossed a blade of grass into his mouth, and said, “Mornin’.”
“Morning,” she and Jag greeted in return. A second later, two Barbie-doll blond women dressed in sexy short shorts and bikini tops came crawling out behind him. With sun-kissed skin, collagen-pumped lips, and manicured nails that belonged nowhere near a ranch, they gave Jag a once-over.
Feeling a sting of jealousy, Alix said, “I think I need to go back to the lodge for a shower.”
“That’s what the river is for,” Colt said.
“I think I’ve roughed it enough for one day,” she responded as Jag pulled her tight against him, draping a possessive arm around her that made her feel cherished, special—something she’d never felt before. “I need a real shower.”
“That’s no way to get an authentic Old West experience. Isn’t that right, girls?” Colt asked, grinning as the two women flanked him, touching his body intimately.
“No way at all,” one of them cooed.
“Don’t worry.” Alix looked at Jag and exchanged a hot, knowing look. “I’m getting all the cowboy experience a girl could ask for.”
Since this was a working dude ranch, Jag’s chore for the day included leading a group of guests on a horseback-riding adventure. He’d cleaned himself up and grabbed a bite to eat, then met a ranch hand, Blake Callahan, inside one of the many barns. A half hour earlier, he’d left Alix in her room, giving her some time to herself, not only because she needed it, but because he needed it, too.
In the few short days she’d been here, she’d totally rocked his world. He had a feeling they’d be good together, but he was falling harder than he ever thought he could. Christ, if she left here without so much as looking back, it would kill him as quick as Katy’s weapon.
“Hey,” Blake greeted with a tip of his Stetson. “Thought we’d catch up with you at Wrangler’s last night, but I ran into Taylor and Amanda, and they said you had your hands full.”
Jag grinned. “You could put it that way.”
Blake lifted a curious brow. “Oh yeah, who is she?”
Jag tossed his saddle onto his stallion and casually rolled one shoulder. “You wouldn’t know her.”
Blake shook his head. “Damn, there must be something in the water.” He shook his canteen, then set it aside. “I think I’d better find something else to drink. Otherwise, I might end up whipped like you, Coop, and Mac.”
Jag laughed. “There are worse things than being whipped.”
“Well now, that depends on what kind of whipping you’re referring to,” he said in a lazy drawl. “The kind I’m referring to has a ball and chain attached.”
“One of these days, Blake,” Jag began as he finished saddling the stallion, “you’ll find the right girl, and you’ll know what it’s all about.”
“Well, until then, I think I’m just going to have me some fun.” He gestured with a nod over Jag’s shoulder. “Now there’s a little filly who looks like she’s ready for a good time.”
Jag angled his head to see Alix. “She is, but not with you.” He jabbed his thumb into his chest. “That filly is mine, and I’m not into sharing. Not anymore.”
Turning from Blake, Jag walked to the doorway, wrapped one arm around Alix’s waist, and dragged her close. Her body melted against his, and he planted a hard kiss on her mouth, letting Blake know in no uncertain terms that this one was a keeper, and his days of playing were over.
A catcall whistle came from Blake, and Alix pulled back. Confusion moved over her face. “What was that?”
“That, cowgirl,” he said slowly, “was just the beginning.”
“The beginning?”
“Yeah, once I’m done with my chores, I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh, really?” Heat moved over her face, and he inched back when all the guests started filing into the barn for their afternoon ride. Then she crinkled her nose, like she just remembered something distasteful. “I don’t like surprises anymore.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll like mine.”
He captured her hand and led her to the group gathering around the horses. After introducing himself and pairing everyone with their horses, Jag led them outdoors and nodded to Mac, who was in the corral teaching rope-tying skills. He slowed to let Alix catch up to him, and when he cast her a glance, his heart missed a beat. Her cheeks were flushed from the sun, her long hair flying haphazardly behind her. He noticed she wore a different pair of shorts and a new shirt, minus the sleeves.
She looked happy and content, her shoulders no longer hugging her ears as she smiled at him. Cowboy country was good for her. It was for him, too. Which was why he wanted to live here permanently—with a big family. He rubbed the stubble on his face. Yeah, he had no trouble packing up and moving here full time. He had no folks or family back home waiting. Truthfully, the only things he had back in Nova Scotia were his pals, Mac and Coop, and they were here on the ranch nearly every weekend anyway.
The more he thought about it, the more the idea of living here full-time appealed to him. He already knew that distancing herself from those who tried to run her life, and finding her own path, was good for Alix, too.
But what did she want?
They spent the afternoon riding trails, stopping to refresh their horses and drink from their canteens at the river. Alix snapped pictures along the way, capturing couples stealing kisses during their adventure. A long while later, on their return home, he noticed she seemed a bit uncomfortable. He slowed his horse until she caught up with him.
Worry tightened his gut. “You okay?”
She pulled a face and said, “I think I have saddle s
ores.”
Jag cringed. He could relate. “I think maybe we overdid the riding on your first few days here.” He tapped his lap. “Maybe you’d like to hop on over here and ride bareback with me.”
Heat moved into her cheeks, and as she tucked her hair behind her ear, she gave him a sensuous, naughty look before saying, “Maybe later.”
“Maybe? Hell, cowgirl. There’s no maybe about it,” he said, his voice dripping with promise. “I’m going to hog-tie you and have my way with you all night long.”
“Jag,” she said, the want in her eyes exciting him as one of the guests rode past, easily able to hear what he was saying.
Jag grinned and kicked his heels in, taking the lead as they made their way back to the lodge. His cock ached as he thought about what he had planned for Alix tonight, and he picked up the pace, happy the adventure was over, because he couldn’t wait to get started.
After returning all the horses, the sun began setting in the west, and he felt his stomach grumble. But his hunger could wait. He was starving for more than food at the moment.
Tired, the guests filed out of the barn, headed toward the lodge for dinner. All alone inside the stable, he stepped up behind Alix, who was running her hands over her horse. His dick twitched as he watched her, wanting that kind of attention on his body, one part in particular.
“Hey, beautiful,” he murmured in her ear, and loved the way she relaxed into him. “My place or yours?”
“Aren’t you original,” she whispered, turning to face him, her hair a tangled mess, her cheeks pink from the afternoon sun. His heart missed a beat. She’d never looked sexier.
He slid his hands around her waist and down her back until he reached her ass. “About these saddle sores,” he said.
She arched a brow. “What about them?”
He dipped his head. “If you’d like, I could kiss them better.”
Her eyes lit with desire, and as her mouth curved sensuously, a bell sounded outside. “I think that’s our dinner bell.”
“We’ll order in, because right now, baby, there’s only one thing I’m interested in putting in my mouth.” A small sound caught in her throat as he grabbed her hand and tugged. “Come on.”