“No, but books can make a life so much richer . . .”
He shook his head. “Thanks for your offer of teachin’ me, but I’m just not interested. I like my life fine the way it is, and I hope you can appreciate that.” He nodded down the stream to where Jack and Sully had just mounted their horses. “They’re done—we’d best be going too.”
Cora didn’t say anything as she climbed back into the wagon, and Tenny sensed that he’d hurt her feelings. Well, she’d hurt his feelings too, most unexpectedly. It had never entered his mind that not knowing how to read would cause a problem in their relationship, and he couldn’t see why it would. She could have her hobbies and he could have his—they didn’t have to force them on each other.
Plus, as he recalled it, she’d kissed him after she’d found out he couldn’t read, so she couldn’t have found that fact too revolting. What had changed her mind? Or was that kiss all pretend?
No, it couldn’t have been. That kiss was the most real thing he’d ever experienced.
Was there anything on God’s green earth more confusing than a woman?
As they traveled the remaining miles back to the ranch, neither of them spoke, and he dropped her and her packages off at her cabin just as silently. He didn’t know what else to say—he didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling. But if she didn’t think he was good enough, there really wasn’t anything to say. No amount of convincing would change her mind if that’s how she really felt. And, if that was how she really felt, he was glad to know it now before they got even more intertwined with each other.
Except they already were intertwined. And there didn’t seem to be anything he could do about that. No matter how long he lived, he would always belong to Cora Whitmer.
Chapter Eight
Cora placed all her bundles on her bed, then picked up Margaret’s sun hat. A walk across the yard to return it was just what she needed after sitting on that wooden bench for so long.
Fiona had told her there was supper waiting in the dining room, but Cora wasn’t hungry. Her stomach had been twisted into a ball ever since her conversation with Tenny, and she pulled in deep breaths of the evening air, hoping that would help.
When she knocked on the door of the main house, Wade opened it and gave her a big smile. “Did you have an enjoyable day in town?”
“I did . . . and yet I didn’t,” Cora said miserably.
“Sounds to me like you’ve come here seeking some advice from my ever-wise wife. You can go on back—she’s in the bedroom.”
“She’s not trying to sleep, is she? I can come back tomorrow.”
“No, she’s just knitting. She’ll be glad for your visit.”
Cora thanked him, then walked down the hall. Margaret was sitting up in bed, her new skeins of yarn next to her while she finished up the last of her old ones. She looked up and smiled when Cora came in.
“I’ve brought you back your hat,” Cora said, placing it on the dresser. “Thank you so much.”
“And you got one of your own?”
“I did. I learned a lesson this week—I’ll never go out in the sun without a wide brim again.” Cora sat down on the chair next to the bed. “Do you ever get tired of being the smartest person on the ranch?”
Margaret chuckled. “No, because I’m not.”
“You’re not? Then why do we all come to you for advice? Who should we be going to instead?”
She laughed again. “I do all right in a pinch, but the one with the most life’s experience and down-to-earth way of approaching things is Sully. He’s the one I go to when I can’t figure something out.”
Cora nodded. That made sense—Sully did have a refreshing way of looking at the world. “I wonder if he could help me with this little predicament when I’m not even sure what I did wrong.”
“Tell me what happened, and I’ll help you decide if this is a Margaret problem or a Sully problem.”
“All right.” Cora rehearsed all the events of the day, even telling her about the kiss, but not going into a great deal of detail. Then she relayed how she got the idea to teach Tenny how to read, and how he reacted.
“Everything had been going so well up to that point, and then . . . it just fell apart. He acted like reading lessons would be the most horrible thing that could ever happen to him, and I didn’t get a real chance to explain why I thought it was a good idea. We didn’t say another word to each other after that, not even goodbye. He withdrew as far into himself as a person can get, and I don’t know how to reach him.”
Margaret was silent as she introduced the end of the new yarn into her project. Then she said, “That’s neither a Margaret problem nor a Sully problem.”
“Then . . .?”
“It’s a Tenny problem.” Margaret met Cora’s gaze with compassion. “The person you should be talking to is Tenny.”
“You’re right—of course you’re right. I just don’t think he wants to talk to me.”
“He will eventually. The feelings you two have for each other are too strong for a misunderstanding to ruin everything. Wait for him, and the moment he softens, speak to him. Don’t let this drag on forever, and don’t be prideful. Whatever he has to say, be willing to listen.”
“So . . . you think I did something hurtful?” Even the suggestion was hard for Cora to hear. She’d never intentionally hurt Tenny—never in a million years.
Margaret seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “Tenny’s behavior, as you’ve described it, is very unlike him, so I would say that he was upset by something. Now it’s up to you to determine what it was and how to fix it.”
“Oh, I hope he’s ready soon. I couldn’t bear for him to be carrying around a wound I inflicted. I want to apologize—I want to make things right.” Cora wiped away the tears that had suddenly appeared in her eyes.
“Tenny’s a fair man—I know he’ll give you the chance. He probably just didn’t know what to say. Give him the night to sleep on it, and come morning, I’m sure things will look much different.”
“Thank you, Margaret. And speaking of sleeping, I just realized how tired I am. I’ll go turn in myself.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Oh, and Cora? Keep your chin up. This won’t be the end of it—it will merely be a bump in the road. I’m positive of it.”
Cora gave her a smile. “Keep sending me rays of hope—they’re needed. Have a good night.”
It was all very well and good to want to fall asleep, but quite another thing to make it happen. It was nearly dawn before Cora finally drifted off, and just a few minutes after dawn when she was awakened to come help with breakfast. Already her day was off to a dreadful start, and if Tenny was still refusing to speak with her, she might as well just go back to bed and stay there.
***
Cora kept herself busy at the washbasin all during breakfast. She didn’t want to go out into the dining room and run the risk of meeting Tenny’s eye—or even worse, to see him ignoring her. The other girls laughed and chattered as they worked, but she didn’t contribute more than an occasional comment. She just wasn’t up to the banter.
At the conclusion of the breakfast service, the door separating the kitchen from the dining room opened, and she glanced up to see Tenny standing there. Her hands froze in the water, and she didn’t know what to say.
“Did you still want to ride out with me this morning?” he asked, his voice low.
He still wanted her to go? She’d assumed that was over and done with. “Uh . . . yes. Yes, I do.”
“I’ll meet you out front in fifteen minutes.” He disappeared again, and Cora was able to coax her hands to finish the plate they’d been washing. She barely even felt the small cut on her hand—it was healing nicely.
Helen walked over and leaned against the wall where Cora was working. “I think we need to hear more of this story,” she said. “What happened yesterday? The two of you are looking at each other like complete strangers, and we all know that’s not the truth of the matter.”
Cora glanced around to see that all her friends were listening. “I’m afraid I’ve done something horrible.”
“You have? I doubt that,” Helen replied. “Out of the five of us, you’re the least likely to do anything even remotely horrible.”
“Well, who’s the most likely, then?” Cora asked.
“Fiona,” Helen said without a moment of hesitation, and all the girls nodded.
“Absolutely,” Fiona said as she gave her stewing beef an extra stab with her knife. “There are reasons why I’m so fascinated by sharp objects.”
Cora laughed even though her chest was still tight. These girls did know how to cheer her. “I found out yesterday that Tenny doesn’t know how to read, so I offered to teach him. His reaction was anything but what I wanted. He ignored me the rest of the way home, and I thought we were finished forever until he came in just now.”
Rowena looked at her with wide eyes. “You had a fight with the man who’s courting you, he’s outside waiting for you right now, and you’re in here talking to us? Gracious, Cora! Get out there and set things right with him. We’ll finish the dishes.”
“I just didn’t want to leave my job undone. Fiona gets a little scary when it comes to our kitchen assignments,” Cora teased.
“I do no such thing,” Fiona replied, brandishing her knife in the air. “Now, get out of here before I have to chase you out.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Cora dried her hands, then took off her apron before stepping out into the bright sunshine. Tenny was there, as he said he’d be, and her heart both sped up and slowed down when she saw him, if such a thing was possible.
“Hello,” she said, feeling shy as she walked up to him. “I’m already wearing my new dress, as you can see—I just need to fetch my hat.”
He gave a nod. “It looks nice on you.”
“Thank you.” Odd how a compliment that would have thrilled her the day before now felt awkward and unnatural. “I’ll be right back.”
She crossed the grass to her cabin as quickly as she could and grabbed her new sun hat, her knees trembling. She obviously hadn’t expressed herself very well the day before—she hoped she’d be able to find the right words now to figure out their misunderstanding and put things to rights again.
She came outside to see that Tenny had brought the small wagon right to her door. “Thank you,” she said as he gave her a hand up. Even though he was annoyed with her, he was still treating her well—aside from not speaking to her—and that was a positive indication.
He climbed onto the wagon seat and gave the horse the go-ahead. They went more slowly this time than they had two days previously when he’d introduced her to the fields, and she didn’t feel as jounced around and rattled. It was also a little quieter, allowing her to think.
They passed the first cattle enclosure, and then the second. She didn’t think she could wait much longer to speak to him—her heart was pounding so hard, it almost hurt, and she needed to bring an end to this uncomfortable situation. She reached over and touched Tenny’s arm. “Could we stop for a moment?”
He pulled on the lines and brought the wagon to a halt. “Is somethin’ wrong?”
“No . . . but yes, actually.” She looked down at her hands. “Yesterday afternoon, when we were coming back from Topeka . . . Well, I must have said something to upset you, but I don’t know what it was. I’m just so, so sorry for . . . well . . . whatever I did.”
Tenny took off his hat and fiddled with the brim. He didn’t answer for a long moment, but this was different—she knew he was going to. He just needed to find his words. “Do you respect me, Cora?”
She sat back, startled by his question. “What? Do I . . . Do I respect you? Of course I do! Tenny Lawless, I respect you more than any man I’ve ever known. I admit that I wasn’t so sure about you when we first met, which is only fair because you weren’t so sure about me, but as I’ve come to know you? Absolutely!”
He didn’t lift his eyes to meet hers.
“Why do you ask? Did I do something to make you feel less than respected?” She couldn’t imagine what it could be.
He finally turned to face her. “Yesterday, there by the river . . . when you said I needed to learn how to read . . . I thought you were sayin’ I wasn’t good enough because I’m not as educated as you are. That I’d need to learn how to read if you were goin’ to be with me.”
Cora felt chills run down her arms and a sickened feeling in her gut. “Oh, no, Tenny—no. That’s not what I meant at all. You’re far too good for me—I’m timid and indecisive, I have to be cajoled into doing things that are new, and I’m overly critical. You’re all the wonderful things I’m not.” She reached over and touched his arm. “I wouldn’t change you for anything.”
“That bein’ the case, why are you so set on me learnin’ how to read? I told you I wasn’t interested, but it didn’t seem to stick with you.”
She gave a rueful smile. “What’s your favorite thing to eat?”
He blinked. “Beg pardon?”
“Anything at all—what’s your favorite?”
He shook his head. “Well, I dunno—just about anything Miss Fiona makes. Maybe chocolate cake?”
“All right, let’s say we’re in the dining room and Fiona’s made chocolate cake, and you’re excited to tell me all about it—but I won’t even taste it. You know I’m missing out on something really good and you try to explain that to me, but I’m just not interested. Wouldn’t you be a little frustrated?”
“I suppose I would be, but then I’d just eat your slice myself.”
She laughed. “Yes, you would, wouldn’t you? But you see, that’s what reading is to me—it’s a wonderful thing that I want to share with you, and I was frustrated that you didn’t even want to talk about it. It brings joy and pleasure into my life, and because you bring me joy too, I wanted to give you that gift. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard. I tend to get a little overly enthusiastic about some things, and I need to be less pushy.”
“So . . . what if I never learned to read? What if I died at a hundred and two years old, and I still didn’t know how to read?”
“Well, that all depends.”
“On what?” He glanced at her suspiciously.
She couldn’t believe she was about to say the words she was thinking. “Do I still know you when you’re one hundred and two?”
“Well, I should hope so. A wife had better know her own husband, hadn’t she?”
That was the confirmation she’d been looking for, but even though she heard what she’d wanted to hear, she was still embarrassed at how brazen she’d been, and she felt herself blushing furiously.
“Cora Whitmer, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, I have every intention of marryin’ you. I’m gonna build you one of those new cabins and I’m gonna put you inside it and we’re gonna have a dozen babies together—and maybe even a cat. This whole thing yesterday . . . I was worried you were tellin’ me that you didn’t want those things. I haven’t changed my mind—but I thought you had.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “I love you to the point of craziness, woman, and the thought of losing you . . . Well, it was making me even crazier.”
She traced his lips with the tip of her finger. “You love me?”
He answered her by pulling her even closer and kissing her until she felt tingles clear down to her toes. For a brief second, she thought about the spectacle they were providing to the cattle on either side of them, but that left her mind as quickly as it had come. The cattle would have to get used to this kind of thing anyway—if she was going to come out here to help Tenny, they’d be seeing it a lot.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Am I forgiven, then?”
“Yes, you’re forgiven for wantin’ to share something special with me. Am I forgiven for wantin’ to be good enough for you?”
“Yes, you are.” She burrowed her head into his shoulder. “Last night was the longest night of my entire
life. I didn’t want this to drag out between us, but I didn’t think I should come pounding on the bunkhouse door at three o’clock, either.”
“Maybe you should have. I was awake too.”
“I get the feeling Gallagher isn’t too keen on being woken up. He seems pretty grumpy in the mornings.”
“I don’t care about Gallagher. I care about this right here.” Tenny cupped her cheek in his hand and kissed her again, but shorter this time. “I promise—the next time something’s bothering me, I’ll say it outright. We shouldn’t have been at odds with each other for even one minute—we should have talked it over then and there.”
“Agreed. Now, you said something a minute ago . . . something about building me a cabin.”
“That’s right. Your friends are nice girls and all, and I’m sure you’ve enjoyed livin’ with them, but it’s time for a cabin of your own, don’t you think?”
“Well, yes …” A thrill ran through her at the thought.
“Brings to mind another question, Miss Whitmer. Those friends of yours . . . Seems to me, we built some cabins for them not long ago, and they’re standing there empty. Shouldn’t we have had three weddings by now?”
Cora chuckled. “I don’t know what to tell you, Tenny. Everything was all set, but then your friends, actually, seemed to feel a little hesitant about moving forward.”
“Well, when we get back to the bunkhouse tonight, I’m goin’ to light a fire under ’em. The thing is, I don’t have any intention of waiting forever and a day. Cora Whitmer, I want to marry you, and I’d like to do it sooner than later. If I can get you a cabin built in one week’s time, will you marry me the day after?”
She blinked. “In eight days?”
“That’s right. I’ve never been the kind to sit around and stew. When I know what I want, I go after it, and I want you to be my wife. What do you say?”
She thought about it. Eight days wouldn’t give her mother time to travel out for the wedding, but she wasn’t even sure her mother would want to make the trip. It was long and arduous. “Let’s do it,” she said with a grin.
A Cattleman for Cora Page 6