by Marilyn Grey
"No I'm not. I'm letting you think that so that when I win you'll be even more shocked."
"Okay," Mom said. "It's just a game."
They both stared at her like she had left her brain in the cake I could smell baking in the oven.
"Smells like..." I inhaled again. "Is it strawberry cake?"
"Wow," Eddie said. "Is that what meatloaf smells like to you?"
Mom shook her head. "It's strawberry cake, yes."
Somehow I needed to get Eddie alone to talk. I couldn't even believe my own brain for thinking such a thing, but I was curious to find out what he'd tell me. I sat beside Dad as they continued their game. After a few minutes in the kitchen Mom reappeared and sat on the other side of me.
"Did you pick a name for the store?" she said.
I told her and we talked about my plans for a little bit, but I could tell by the sparkle in her eyes that she desperately wanted to ask about my love life, because, well, for the first time ... I actually had one.
I tried to avoid the topic until she asked about Donovan and Han, which bled into her finally saying, "So...." with that smirk growing and growing.
"Yes?" I said.
"The handsome British boy." She lit up. "How did things go with him?"
"Why did I know you'd have to refer to him as the British boy?"
"Sorry." She straightened her back. "British man."
"No." I laughed. "I mean calling out the British thing."
"Well." She laughed. "How could I not?"
"He's fine. Our time together was nice."
She leaned forward and motioned for me to continue.
"What?"
"And...."
"And I had fun?"
"Will you be seeing this young man again?"
I nodded and inhaled through my teeth. "Yes, Mom."
Dad laughed. "Let her be, honey."
She made her way back to the kitchen and I waited a few minutes before asking Eddie to show me his latest wood project. I even double-winked, but he didn't look up from his game. At all.
"In a minute," he said.
Not wanting to seem strange, I let it go and told myself his advice would've been weird anyway. My younger brother? What was I thinking?
I pulled out my phone and sent Autumn another text. Hey... Can we talk soon? I feel like you're drifting away.
No response and she still hadn't acknowledged my other three messages. So I typed out how I really felt.
Soooo ... I know you're busy and all with your new school and friends, but there are people here ... eh em ME ... who still care about you and need you. Can you just call me tonight? I'm trying not to get annoyed, but Autumn ... this friendship is more to me than a high school thing. You're my sister and sisters don't leave each other for other people. Please call tonight. I'll be up.
Mom called us in for dinner and we ate, talked about normal stuff thankfully, and topped it off with cake. We laughed and for a few minutes here and there I even stopped looking at the time. But when 7:30pm hit and he hadn't messaged me I started to worry, but did a quick flight check and saw that it hadn't landed yet. They estimated twenty more minutes. So I helped Mom clean up real quick and parted ways, went home, drew a bath, which reminded me of Alistair just like every. thing. else.
I put the phone on a little table by the tub and put a towel there too just in case I needed to dry my hands to answer a call. Autumn or Alistair would call. One of them. Autumn I wasn't so sure about, but Alistair....
He'd call.
I almost fell asleep to the sound of crickets, but my phone rang.
"You're alive!" I said.
"Jane, I'm so sorry," Autumn said. "It's been so hectic and I do still care. I swear."
"I know. Maybe I overreacted because everyone is gone."
"Alistair finally left?"
"Yeah. He stayed a week and he's coming back in October. I think I might surprise him by coming at the end of this month if I can afford it."
"Those flights are like two thousand dollars."
"I know."
"How was it? You sound as depressed as you were when you told Don you loved him."
"I'm not depressed. Lonely. Confused."
"So emo. So unlike you."
"I know." I stared at the other side of the tub where Alistair sat, luring me over to him with his eyes. "Oh man. I'm so dumb."
"What are you guys gonna do?"
"He insists that we'll make it work, but I can already feel myself falling apart." I closed my eyes. "This is unlike me. But it is me at the same time. What the hell, right?"
She laughed. "One day at a time."
"Anyway, tell me about school."
"My dorm is small. Like a horse stable or something. My roommate is pretty much like Zoe, except without the random acts of being nice." She sighed. "I hate my classes. Seriously. The one class I thought I'd like could win an award for worst teacher ever."
"One day a time," I said.
She laughed. "I know, right? That's all we can do."
We kept talking until 10:24pm. Alistair hadn't called. His flight landed a while back and I figured he'd call as soon as he got home. Maybe before then.
I got into bed at 11:02 and watched my phone, opened the app, and repeated until, just after midnight, my eyes begged me to let them close.
"Only for a few minutes," I whispered, but I think I was asleep before finishing the sentence.
Chapter 44
I woke up at four something in the morning and didn't see a single message from him, so I finally opened the app and messaged him first. Just sent, Alistair. And waited for my phone to alert me. Minutes. Eternity-like minutes. One. After. Another. After—
"Why isn't he messaging me?" I said to myself.
"Maybe he ran into an ex-girlfriend in the airport and went to a hotel," less enjoyable me said.
"Or maybe he died on the plane," less reasonable me said.
"Or maybe he doesn't like you anymore," less confident me said.
"Or maybe he fell asleep," more reasonable me said.
"Or maybe his phone died and then he fell asleep," most reasonable me said.
"Thank you," I said. "That's probably it."
My phone beeped and my pulse quickened as I opened his message.
Jane. I'm so sorry. My phone died and when I plugged it in I fell asleep. It's 9 here. Your text woke me up. I miss you.
I read the words several times, smiling.
You there? he said.
I typed, Hey ... I miss you too. How was the flight?
Him: Long. Boring. Too much turbulence. Hate flying. Did I tell you I miss you?
Me: You may have mentioned it. :-)
Him: I can't wait to hear your voice. Can I call now?
Me: Yes.
Buh-ter-flies. We talked on the phone dozens of times before. But it was different now and I was so nervous.
The phone rang.
"Jane," he whispered.
I closed my eyes and could almost imagine him beside me with his messy hair on my pillow.
"Can I come visit this weekend?" I said.
"Jane. Are you serious? How can you afford that?"
"I have an emergency credit card. I've never used it."
"Jane." He laughed. "I'm flattered, really." He laughed again. "It's not realistic. I can come in October."
"I want to come. You told me to be unrealistic, remember? I open the shop on Monday, so maybe I could come from Friday to Sunday?"
"You're something else."
"Am I being irrational? I don't even know what's come over me."
"I told you what it is. It's the—"
"I know, I know. So how about Friday? Maybe we can see a few more of the Batman places I wanted to see last time."
He breathed into the phone for a few seconds as I waited for him to answer.
"You said it yourself," I said. "Just jump in."
"First of all, you already know I can't possibly resist your immense longing for me—"
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"Oh, stop." I laughed. "You wish you were so full of yourself."
"Secondly"—I could tell that he was talking through a smile—"I would like to see you as much as possible, but I also don't want to waste money when you need it. I want your dreams for the fashion line to work out."
"Just for the weekend?" I couldn't believe I was begging to see him. I was actually begging! "Okay, if you don't want me to...."
"That's not it at all." He quieted, then said, "I'm looking forward to it."
"Will I get to meet your mom and dad?"
"We could do that if you would like, but Dad lives about an hour south and Mum is two hours away."
"We'll see," I said. "So, Friday it is."
Later that night, after talking to Alistair before he went to sleep, I tried to buy a plane ticket, but it kept saying invalid card number. That's when I realized the expiration date expired two months ago and as far as I knew I never received a replacement. I called the company first thing the next morning, but they said there was no way for me to use the credit line until I received the replacement card they were sending out. Seven to ten business days was too long.
Alistair offered to pay for the plane ticket, but I couldn't let him do that this time. So we decided to wait until October and instead of him visiting me, I'd get to see his place.
So I stayed home and we talked every day and night instead. When Sunday rolled around I realized I hadn't even thought to call anyone else about the grand opening the next day. My mind was on Alistair so much that the shop didn't seem as important. Of course, Donovan and Han had already left for Gongju and Autumn was gone too, so they wouldn't be able to come anyway. And quite honestly, after that last experience I wasn't sure if I wanted to invite anyone. Maybe I could be embarrassed alone this time. So ... I called Mom and told her I was opening, but not making a big deal out of it and asked her to come by later in the week if she wanted.
Then Monday morning came and anxiety dawned right along with it. I went to the shop early, checked over everything, and messaged Alistair as I got ready. He tried to lighten my mood by joking around, and I'd laugh along well enough, but the closer it got to opening the more freaked out I got.
At nine on the dot, I flipped the sign to open and waited. No one came inside, but it was a busy shopping area and soon enough someone would come. I put a little chalkboard sign out front that said, "Grand Opening" and right below, "Gotham City Inspired Fashion."
I didn't expect a lot of interest right away given the fact that obsessive Batman fans didn't seem rampant or anything, but I wanted a few customers just so I could get some sort of idea.
Alistair sent another message.Remember you're doing this for you... not the customers. If they love it, then great. If not, don't stress.
Oh, oh, here comes someone, I typed.
A guy walked in, probably in his early twenties, and smiled while looking around. "Gotham City inspired?"
I smiled and clasped my hands in front of me, then put them in my pockets, then clasped them again.
"What are you wearing?" he said. "Is that Two Face?"
"Oh, um, yes." I looked at my outfit and smoothed the pants. "It's the female version. I have a male version too."
"You? Is this your store or you just work here?" He stopped in front of my favorite. It was The Joker outfit for women. Purple dress and jacket with a small green vest and green scarf.
"It's mine." I stepped out from the counter. "I had two other girls help me with the sewing and they'll probably be working here soon if it works out."
"If it works out?" He meandered over to the men's side. "There's no if here. This is cool as shit."
I laughed. "Thanks."
"I'm telling my friends about this. You know how many guys would love this shit for their women?"
"Well, I don't consider it shit. Personally." I smiled.
"I like that," he said, picking up a Nightwing outfit. "This is sweet. I wish I had enough to buy it all."
"Batman fan?"
"I like the movies, but not obsessed or anything. This is awesome though. And what are you only like twenty-one or something?"
"Eighteen." I smiled. "I failed once though and I've had a lot of help. It's a huge dream of mine."
He held eye contact a little too long before continuing, "Yeah, I think it'll work out." He pointed to the ceiling. "What's playing on the radio?"
"Oh, it's my iPod. It's Batman soundtracks."
"Are you a huge fan?" He held up his hand. "Stupid question. Hey, if you need any extra help around here I can help. No charge."
"Oh, I—"
"Or I could just ask you out. Dinner? Maybe, uh...."
"Thank you." I tried not to laugh. "That would be nice, but I have an amazing boyfriend who...."
"Who...?"
"I was gonna say he stole my heart, but he didn't steal it. Somewhere along the way ... I gave it to him."
"Lucky dude." He gestured toward the counter. "Okay. I'll buy this one for now, but I gotta bring my friend Dietz in here. He's gonna flip."
I helped him check out and texted Alistair as soon as the guy left.
He responded, It was a bloke?
Me: Yeah, he seemed to really like it.
Him: A bloke? He was probably trying to win a date.
Me: Maybe. He did ask.
Him: What did you say?
I smiled as I typed, I told him I had a boyfriend who stole my heart, except he didn't actually steal it. I gave it to him.
Him: You have a boyfriend?
Me: Yeah. He's a terrible kisser, but it works for now.
Him: Jane....
Me: Alistair?
Him: Thank you.
Someone else walked in, so I told him I'd text him soon. This time it was an older woman who did not look anything like someone who would like Batman stuff, but she seemed genuinely pleased as she thumbed through the clothes.
Finally, she looked over a rack of clothes and waved me over.
"Your sign out front caught my eye. See, my son is a very devoted comic book fan and this would make his day, but I'm looking for his favorite character, Jimmy Olsen."
"Oh. Actually that's from Superman. This line is only Batman-inspired."
"I apologize." She laughed quietly, embarrassed. "He likes Batman too. Some Harvey Bump character."
"Harvey Dent?" I chuckled. "He's one of my favorites too. Right over here." I showed her the Dent outfits for men. "And if he likes that he would probably like the Two Face one as well." I waved my hand over it. "My personal favorite design that we have."
"This is great. Thank you." She checked the price tags and didn't flinch. "Wonderful. I'll take both. He will be so pleased."
By the time I helped her to the door, another person showed up. This time an older man, maybe fifties or sixties. He looked around, then walked out without saying anything. Two outta three worked for me though. A few minutes later three girls walked in, maybe a little older than me. They loved everything, but somehow remained oblivious of the Batman-theme until one girl asked why the decorations around the store had bats. That's when I chimed in, explained things, and although they seemed to care less about Batman, they loved the clothes. Raved about The Joker dress and one of my Batman outfits for women. I had four variations of Batman ones in the front of the store, near the window. They said they'd be back for one as soon as payday came. I thanked them and texted Alistair. He could "hear" the excitement in my words. Could've been the four million exclamation marks at the end of everything I said. He was happy for me. And I was even happier knowing he was happy for me. But amidst all the happiness swelling inside me ... the biggest thing I wanted was to get back into his arms and fall asleep with his chest as my pillow. That's what I really, really wanted. Like, yesterday.
Chapter 45
September went by extremely fast. I closed up the register and handled a few things in the back while Han put some of our latest creations on the racks.
The shop wasn't overwhel
med with customers like I hoped it would be, but stuff was leaving the racks fast enough that I had to get Han and Brooke back in by the end of the month. We sewed and sewed and sewed. It was fun. And I got to see Don more again, since he came to visit her whenever he had a plumbing job in the area.
Autumn and I had random talks whenever we could, but with my busy schedule and her very busy schedule, it was rare. I definitely missed her, but my life got so busy that I didn't think about it as often as I thought I would. I'm sure she felt the same. And I hated that. I kept telling myself it would be just like old times when she came back for the summer, but my skepticism liked to have a say and it was never the most encouraging.
Don appeared from the back and wrapped Han in his arms. I can honestly say I no longer had those kind of feelings for Don, but seeing them together made me jealous in a completely different way now. It had been weeks since I felt Alistair's skin against mine and days since I heard his voice. We kept missing each other and I think he sensed my doubts about long distance relationships, because he wanted me to fly in the first weekend of October, which was two days from now, instead of waiting until late October like we originally planned.
"Wanna come to dinner with us?" Donovan said with his hand permanently glued to Han's.
I shook my head and smiled. It's not that I didn't want to spend time with them. They were super good about making me feel like I wasn't a third wheel, but I needed to get home to hopefully catch Alistair before he fell asleep. I looked at the clock. 7:15pm. I sent him a text, You still awake?
Waiting for you. Got my phone on as loud as possible so it wakes me up if I fall asleep, he responded.
Be home soon.
Donovan's keys jingled as he pulled them out of his pocket. "Still need a ride to the airport on Friday?"
"Yeah, if you can." I did one last look around the place before walking to the back door with them.
They went out first and I locked the door behind me.
"Are you guys going back to Korea soon?" I said as I pulled my keys out of my bag.
"We may do that soon," Han said. "My family wants to see Donovan again. They like him very much."
"I knew they would. So are they getting better about you marrying an American?"