here don’t really need them,” she said with a slight smile. The women were about as bare as the men, with the exception of a piece of fabric tied in the back covering their chests.
“Yes, I see… but why, then?”
“I sell them to humans in foreign towns. They like exotic dresses. It’s a pain traveling, but worth the money.”
I eyed them. Which one would Heidi like…? There was one there, a bright yellow color I thought she would like… If only I had money….
The old woman smiled gently. “Would you like one, Justice?”
Suddenly, I didn’t feel comfortable when she called me that. “I would, but I haven’t any of your money…”
“It is no trouble,” she handed me the dress.
“But, I shall feel dishonest… can I do anything for you at all?” I said, rubbing my arm uncomfortably.
“Well…” She looked away. “Nevermind. That’s too much to ask…”
“No, I wish to know,” I had a little power welling in me again. I could help her with something small.
She looked at me silently for a minute. “Well… my son is sick. We don’t have healers in this village, and I’m afraid he might not make it, because I can’t afford to hire a healer.”
I looked to the side. I had to finally start asking myself; was it okay to take such things into my own hands without Justice and Vengeance? I wanted to help her… I thought it was the right thing to do, but I also thought, regardless of whether you’re good or evil, young or old, you had to let some people die. It was part of the cycle of fairness. But Heidi would…
She was only a mortal, why was I adhering to her views? She didn’t know what it was like to keep the balance. I would ask Vengeance or Justice, but I was afraid they would take over… for perhaps forever if I wasn’t careful. They had the stronger personalities, and I felt weak without them.
But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to bend the rules just this time. “I’ll take a look,”
She was ecstatic. She clapped her hands together. “You will…?” She was almost in tears, and she was looking at me through worshipping eyes. She bowed low to me. I was embarrassed. I felt silly…
I knelt down and touched her shoulders. “Please don’t do that; I am unworthy. Let’s take a look at your son.”
She looked into my eyes intently, and then she nodded, got to her feet, and I followed her to her hut. Her son was there, sleeping heavily, and breathing harshly. He was young, maybe an adolescent. The trouble was, when you were there with the mortals, you developed an intimacy and unconditional love for them regardless of whether or not you wanted to. They were all so unique. The lines on every mortal’s face differing from the next, all their personalities so different, hair, eyes… all of these things made them special, and made every single culture beautiful and a joy to be around. I saw every line on this child’s face… his hair was ebony black, his nose was small and flat, and he was wearing more clothes than most of the Elysians. This could have been a quirk of his personality, or perhaps it was a sign that as their species evolved, they became more intelligent and wore more clothes, as was a sign with most intelligent creatures. He had particularly creative tattoos and a single pinky missing from his hand. This told me enough about him so that I couldn’t back out. I was reminded too much of his mortality.
I breathed in. It’d been awhile now since I brought back the child’s life in Heidi’s village, and that was the last truly tiring thing I did. I closed my green and yellow eyes, and opened my red one. I touched my middle finger and index fingers to my forehead, and I felt the familiar ancient pulse of magic pour from my eyes, and then I touched the child’s forehead with those same fingers.
The child’s mother was clasping her hands together, not daring to breathe. I moved aside so the she could see her child, with his eyes open, and his even breathing, and his skin a healthy tone.
She burst into tears and embraced her child. I watched, intrigued, leaning my head to the side. Mortals were such emotional creatures. It was no wonder that they could turn violent so easily. I had seen a human once, who had been perfectly pleasant. Pleasant family, a fortune dropped into their lap, a wonderful husband… but she was still never happy.
But this was different from what I’d seen before. It was not the kind of selfish, close-minded, crude behavior I’d come to expect from mortals. This was special… it was something that I craved even though I knew I shouldn’t. It had to do with selflessness—wanting to suffer in the place of someone you cared about—it had to do with love.
The boy looked over his Mom’s shoulder. “Who is that?” He pointed at me.
I smiled. “No one special,”
The boy smiled back, but said nothing. It was all the thanks I ever needed.
After that, Heidi found me wandering outside near the surrounding trees. I hid the dress behind my back. She sighed a sigh of relief. “For a second I thought you’d given up and left us at the mercy of your brother…”
“I wouldn’t do that…” I protested.
She didn’t look convinced. And why should she? The way I’d acted around her, and treated mortals in general.
“Heidi, I have something…”
“Hold on Joshua. Just where did you go?”
“Well I--”
“What’ve you got behind your back?” She interrupted.
“It’s for you,” I brought the dress out and handed it to her.
Her eyes gleamed. She took it from me. “This is beautiful… where did you get it?”
“A woman here sells them,” I explained.
“But you don’t have any money. How’d you pay for it?” She asked absently as she unfolded the dress to get a good look at it. “So pretty…”
“Does it matter?” I asked.
She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t rob her, did you?”
“No, I saved her son’s life.” I said truthfully.
She was skeptical. “…why?”
“I am not heartless…”
“Does a God need a heart?” She wondered. “Is it best for you not to have one?”
“As of right now, it is.” We stared at each other for a moment. I didn’t know why I said that.
A slow smile came to her face. “You’re silly. Thanks Joshua, it’s wonderful…” She nudged me playfully. She walked off as Katharos joined me. “She seems happy,” Katharos stated.
I smiled. “Yes. But how are your negotiations going?”
“Good… but, a messenger arrived earlier with a message from Hephzibah. She’d like to negotiate with me.” He said, looking exhausted.
I looked at him sharply. I knew the type of person he was. “Katharos, you can’t trust her.”
He looked to the side. “Joshua… if I have the chance to resolve things peacefully, I must try.”
“No. You’ll be killed. You can’t go.” I told him sternly.
“I’ll take a big entourage. Don’t worry.” He said confidently.
If he died, I wouldn’t know what I’d do. He was a true and innocent spirit. He was one of two people I was willing to sacrifice everything for in the world. My life would be… dark without him.
“We’re going there too. We may as well go together.” I insisted.
Katharos looked like he didn’t want me to come. He looked as if whatever might happen to him, he didn’t want me to be there to observe. He didn’t want me to hate mortals forever and fall into a well of despair, and he knew I would if I saw him killed. Because me and Katharos, we had a bond, a bond based on faith and belief. It was irrational, but I knew I always had Katharos’ love and belief, and of course, I returned it without a second thought. It was an automatic response. And I’d watched over him for so long, I liked to think of him as something of a distant son. He wasn’t like the other mortals; he was special.
But in the end, he had no reason to object, he simply said, “very well. But you can’t get in the way of a peace treaty. I must get our two peopl
es to see that the other is not made up of only cruel people.”
“They will be disappointed. Come Katharos… you of all people must acknowledge what these people are like… they’ll end up killing you for even suggesting getting along. ”
“I know you’ve seen the worst in them, but if you don’t believe in them, who will?” Katharos told me.
“Be realistic. I simply don’t wish you to be hurt…” I said quietly.
“If being realistic means having no faith In others, then I have no wish to be realistic. I’ll be careful. There is no reason to worry.” He assured me. “Now, how about you get some sleep? I know you need it now.” Katharos suggested.
I looked about. The sky was indeed dark now. The stars were out and I felt the wind bristle through my yellow hair. I touched a hand to my cheek. There was something lovely about the cool air and the scent it brought with it… something about the way night felt that I loved. It had been many, many years since I set foot on The Below. I forgot about the certain things I loved about it, and one was the temperature. The temperature was always perfect in The Above, but I loved the excitement of being someplace dangerous—of exploring—of meeting new people. At least… I did when I was younger.
I sat down for an hour or so, just enjoying the night air. Deep within my soul, I was beginning to feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time. My soul had opened up, and I felt it filled with contentment. But then I frowned.
I was beginning to feel like myself from long ago again. Was that really such a bad thing? Could I possibly move on
A Wayward God Page 13