you’d dispose of any trace of his existence!” Angry tears rolled down my cheeks.
A God has no feelings for such trivialities.
He raised his hand high and threw the ball of fire at me. I threw up my hands and closed my eyes as a defense mechanism and felt flames so hot I thought they were burning my face.
I opened my eyes. I was protected by a golden light—enveloping me in moving tendrils and spilling behind me. The blue fire bounced off the yellow shield and was reflect back at Death, who was badly wounded afterwards.
This was the last protection Joshua had blessed me with.
I was alone under a dark night sky. I was now the child with the single red eye again. I was proud of myself for realizing what I needed and wanted to be in this life, but crushed that I failed to protect the mortals I loved. In front of me, Justice and Vengeance appeared.
“I see… you have found Yeshua again.” The green eye stated.
“We thought you were not strong enough. We thought we would eventually need to take over for you for good.” The yellow eye said.
I was crying silently, and then I said, “I thank you for protecting me all these years and tempering my violence, but I am alright now. I have found people to love. Except… I am dead now.”
“You do not need us anymore?” The yellow eye asked.
I shook my head. “No. I shall never do what I did all those years ago ever again. The mist that hung in my mind is gone and I see clearly.”
Both eyes looked sad and resigned. “We are not real people. We were created to protect you, and to protect the mortals from you. But now that you are almost dead…”
“I am not dead?”
“No. The girl saved your life. You put some of your own spirit into that enchantment you cast on her, and some of it leaked back into your body. You are alive, but will die in minutes unless something is done. Without you, there is no us, and now that you know who you are, we will die for you. We will give you our lives, but you will have much power left afterwards. What will you do with it?”
The green eye and the yellow eye pushed me to my feet. Heidi, who had been sobbing over my body now got to her own feet and looked up to see that my eyes were fixed on my brother, who had taken a hard hit from the enchantment I placed on Heidi. Heidi moved out of the way, still sobbing, but now with tears of joy.
I shot both my arms outwards, closed my red eye, and a large beam of light hit my brother, but spared him an ounce of his life. The yellow light kept spreading and spreading, tendrils enveloping everyone and everything in the underground city. Everything was yellow now, and the sharp light was whistling past my ears like a wonderful cool wind through the leaves of a tree.
Power spilled through every pore in my body, and eventually, the yellow and green eyes sunk back into my skin, and disappeared.
After that, I opened my red eye. My brother looked at me astonished, not believing I could really win, and then with a horrifying expression, he teleported over to Hephzibah and Nikolai, and took them away. I was about to follow when I disappeared from existence.
Weather had abducted me. “What in the world happened down there!” He demanded.
I didn’t look him in the eye. “My brother was on a quest for personal vengeance. He was killing people for no reason, I wished to stop him.”
Now he was intrigued. He clasped his hands together. “Why?”
“He resented me… because I was no longer the same person—and he hated mortals—they failed him. He is also mad, and he has a child…”
He calmed down a little, realizing he was a God, and had to be above anger. “Where are your eyes to contain your own madness?”
“Gone.” I said simply. “Will you—lock me away again?”
He looked at me stoically for a moment. And then, to my surprise, he smiled. “Do you know what you did down there?”
“I disobeyed your rules; I saved mortals when it was not my job to save them, and… I may have destroyed everything.”
He shook his head. “Every building, and every person, is still standing. But… the vapors are gone. You dissipated them.”
I looked at him, shocked. “Really?”
“Yes. You have put right your error. I will not lock you away. But, there is one thing you must break off, and that is your relationship with the girl. You are too close as it is. It was bad enough that you breathed life back into her, but I know you have feelings for her, which you were smart enough not to act upon. I wish you to take the reins of your status again, with your red eye, and now, you may judge as you wish.”
I smiled. “Really?” I said again, feeling giddy as I was as a child, but then I looked off distantly, a frown replacing my smile. “You will—allow me to say goodbye?”
He nodded. “It’s the least I can do for you.”
I appeared next to Heidi, who was now sitting under a giant tree on a hill above the underground city of the Mahesha, looking miserable. “Joshua! Did they banish you? You are staying, right?”
I shook my head. “I can’t. I will not see you again for the rest of your life.”
Her lovely face was tilted down in the most devastated expression I had never wanted to see on her face. “What? My life… I know you just gave me back the rest of it with your powers. Why don’t you wish to spend it with me?”
“I cannot live my life down here with you-- I must do my job--and this time, I will do it right, because of you,” I said to her lovingly. I looked at her with nothing but admiration and longing in my heart. I wanted to touch her just once, of my own volition and not hers. I gingerly touched her hair, and she put her hand on mine as I did so.
After a moment, she came back to reality. “Then… I wish to die and come up to The Above with you! You will make me into a Goddess, won’t you?” She cried bitterly, and leaned her head upon my shoulder.
I held her face in my red hands. “I do not wish to make you into a Goddess, because I want you to find someone who can love you the way I wish to, but never can. I want you to continue making this world a better place, just by being in it, and I want you to inspire faith in people again… not faith in me, but faith in themselves. They do not need to lean on me—they more than proved that to me.”
“I don’t want to be with anyone else, I want to be with you! And I will not love anyone else ever again… if I live this life by myself... will you promise to propose to your friends to make me a Goddess?” She asked.
“I will do it regardless. But I know you will find someone to love—better than me—and you will forget all about me, like you should.” I kissed her forehead gently. “I will be happy for you, and I will love you no matter what,” I promised her.
I got to my feet, preparing to leave, but she stood up on the hill and threw herself at me. I caught her, and I wrapped her in my yellow wings. I murmured in her ear—“I would not even know what love is without you…”
“Don’t leave me…” She begged me, weeping heavily. “I may not need Gods, but I know I need you,”
“No, you don’t. And you never did. I needed you…” I kissed her one last time, this time on the lips, and then I put her down gently. “I hope to see you again,” I told her honestly.
I had to leave her with peace in her heart, and I waited many minutes before she nodded bravely, barely containing her tears. I looked back at her one last time with a squinty smile, and then I disappeared. I had to see one more person
“I see,” Katharos said, nodding sadly. “I shall miss believing that you were looking out for me, personally.”
“I will. I will look after you all, but I cannot intervene directly anymore. I will—attempt to keep you safe—and happy.”
“Joshua, you may think that you needed us to make you stand up on your own two feet and realize that you didn’t need to rely on Justice and Vengeance, but you found yourself and stood on your own two feet again, like you did so long ago against your Father. You should be proud…
.” He looked at me, looking proud himself, eyes tinged with tears.
“Continue to make this world better, Katharos. Keep Heidi company sometimes. I fear she will be lonely… without your unwavering support, I do not know what would have happened to me. You were the only person left in the world who believed in me—I would have disappeared without you. Thank you, and take care of Asher, too. He needs you,”
I turned my back to him, and I disappeared.
Time went on, and I did my job better than ever, because now, I only intervened to make miracles happen rarely, and to make mortals die when I deemed it was necessary. My life was no longer ruled by the pure, one-tracked minds of Vengeance and Justice. Things changed everywhere, and there would ever be war on The Below, along with pain, suffering, poverty, and selfishness. But thanks to people like Katharos and Heidi, there would always be faith, generosity, selflessness and happiness as well.
The one thing that would forever leave a void in my heart and soul was the absence of my brother. I knew what he had done—what he was like now—but I couldn’t help but sometimes think of the way things were between us. I would smile, and think of certain moments between us that brought me peace and it would hurt when I realized those times would never be had again. I always kept an eye out for my brother and his son. I still wished to rescue my nephew.
The one thing that never changed no matter how many years went by was the bracelet I never took off and
A Wayward God Page 28