‘For the sake of your promise to your daughter, you need to swallow your pride and pay George and Emily a visit, because they have contacts that might be useful to you. Whatever you think of George, he’ll admire you for supporting your family and do his best to help.’
*
Luke took a deep breath as he stood on the opposite side of Tavistock Square, facing the black front door. The five-storey house looked intimidating, with its ornate plasterwork and protective black railings edging the footpath. The front door sprung open; George stood on the threshold. The chill of the breeze made Luke shiver, as his gaze bounced from place to place and he quickly turned his back on the house. The square's garden stood before him. A large mass of grass was edged with wooden benches, either side of the path. Green tips of daffodils peeked through the muddy soil, giving the first sign that spring was on its way. The branches of the tall trees showed there was life, as the leaf buds started to appear, in readiness for the shade they would provide in the heat of the summer. Luke raised his eyebrows; he didn't know what had got into him lately. Here he was, waxing lyrically about the forthcoming spring season. He sighed. Had he even noticed the change in seasons in the past? He thought not. He shook his head and turned, in time to see George walking away from him.
‘Right.’ Luke steeled himself. ‘What are you, a man or a mouse?’ His lips straightened into a thin line as the voice in his head echoed, Squeak, squeak, squeak. He walked across the road and took a couple of steps to follow him, before stopping to turn and walk away again. He looked at the front door. Perhaps he should talk to Emily; she was always kinder to him, but that was not what this was about. He had to do this, if he was going to gain any respect from his family. Luke pushed his hands inside his trouser pockets as he counted in his head. The urge to run away took hold. Come on, get it over and done with. The sooner you ask, the sooner you'll know, the voice yelled in his head. ‘How difficult can it be?’ He looked down the road and could still see George, dressed in his dark grey winter coat. He had stopped to help an old lady with some shopping. It was now or never. Before he had a chance to argue with himself further, Luke quickened his pace. He had to catch him. He gasped for breath, as every step took him nearer. His lungs burnt as breathlessness took hold.
George looked up, as Luke got nearer. He turned his attention back to the old lady, who gave him a toothless smile before walking on. George took a step towards Luke and arched his eyebrows. ‘Afternoon, Luke, what brings you here?’
Luke stopped, thrusting his hands in his trouser pockets as he bent over, gasping for air.
George laughed. ‘It looks like you need to walk more often, or maybe just further than the club.’ He frowned, reaching out to rest his hand on Luke's back. ‘Are you all right?’
Luke lifted his head and nodded, before straightening his body. His heart was pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath. His fingers nervously jingled the coins in his pockets as he glanced up. ‘I wanted to talk to you.’ His gaze bounced around, as he struggled to look at George. He swiftly removed his hands from his pockets and cleared his throat. ‘I was about to call on you, when I saw you leave the house.’ He dragged his hand through his hair. ‘I hope you don't mind me just dropping by unannounced.’
George let his arm drop to his side. ‘No, of course not, but I can't pretend I am not more than a little surprised to see you.’
Luke nodded. ‘I know we have had our differences over the years, but I have come to ask for your help.’
George raised his eyebrows again. ‘This is clearly going to be a day of surprises.’ He paused. ‘Do you mind if we talk and walk at the same time, as I am meeting Emily in an hour.’ He laughed. ‘She is out shopping for knitting wool and threads for her embroidery at the moment, and no doubt Liberty's in Regent Street will warrant a visit.’
‘Not at all.’ They both stepped forward. ‘It doesn't seem to bother you, I mean the shopping, or anything else for that matter.’
George laughed. ‘Why would it? I love Emily to bits, and I don't care who knows it either.’ His smile faded. ‘When you have seen some of the things that men do to women and children, it makes you put things into perspective.’
Luke nodded. ‘I suppose I have been very fortunate, but didn't always appreciate it.’
George frowned. ‘Didn't?’
Luke kept his eyes on the pavement. He had no desire to bare his soul to George, even if he was a good man. He cleared his throat. ‘Edward has advised me to speak to you.’
George stared at Luke but didn't push the conversation he wanted to have. ‘About what?’
‘Charles is missing.’ Luke paused, as a lump formed in his throat. ‘We don't know about Robert or Freddie, but Alice hasn't heard from Freddie and he was with Charles. She is tying herself up in knots, worrying about them…’
‘So you want me to see if I can find anything out?’
Luke nodded, crossing Bloomsbury Street as they walked towards Regent Street.
George shook his head. ‘I’ll try, but a lot of the people I knew have popped their clogs, if you know what I mean. I’ll certainly try for you.’
‘I have written letters, but I have heard nothing.’ Luke glanced up at him. ‘I wouldn't ask but—’
‘You’re desperate.’ George smiled. ‘I know that, Luke.’ He laughed. ‘You’re not the only one to be aware of our differences, you know.’
Luke's lips thinned. ‘I am making changes and I hope our differences can be forgotten, along with other things. It isn't going to happen overnight, but coming here is about me swallowing my pride and putting my family first.’
George nodded. ‘I’ll do the best I can for you, but I can't make any promises. I hope things do move forward because, while she doesn't say anything, I know Emily misses her relationship with Sarah. Over the years, they have seen less and less of each other, yet Emily talks fondly of the time they spent together.’ George stopped and studied Luke. ‘You know family is everything to me and whether we like it or not, we are family. There’s nothing more important, and that includes the ladies and children in our lives.’
Luke shook his head; he had never given Sarah and Emily’s relationship a thought. ‘Thank you. I can't ask for anything more, and probably don't deserve your help at all.’
Chapter 24
March 1916
Alice sat on her bed, staring out at the blue sky, broken up with its cotton wool clouds. The shafts of early morning sunshine held little warmth or cheer for her. As usual, the tears didn't feel very far away. Her eyes glistened as she looked at Arthur in his cot. ‘Hello, my little man.’ She scooped Arthur into her arms and he rewarded her with a beaming smile. Alice stroked his soft, tiny fingers. ‘So, what do you think of your mother going back to work then? I really don't know if I have made the right decision.’
Arthur waved his arms and kicked his legs frantically, as he gurgled his opinion. His eyes never left her face as she lowered her head, to give him a light kiss on the forehead. ‘Your grandma and Mrs Headley are going to love looking after you, all day today, while I shall miss you so much, but as they say, sacrifices need to be made. There's a war on you know.’ She stared down at Arthur's chubby face. ‘Your father will be home one day.’ A solitary tear tripped over her eyelashes. ‘I have to keep the faith. I suppose Father’s right; without that, we have nothing.’
Arthur's smile disappeared and his bottom lip quivered.
‘Don't get upset, Arthur. I have to leave soon and it's going to be hard enough.’ She spoke to him in the singsong voice he loved and he immediately smiled. Alice pulled Arthur close. Sighing, she stood up and opened the bedroom door. With one hand gliding across the top of the banister, she walked down the stairs.
There was no mistaking Molly's excitement, coming from the sitting room. ‘I can't believe Alice is coming back to Foyles.’ Her laughter travelled through the house. ‘I'm amazed old Leadbetter asked her; he's a stickler for doing the right thing. I must admit I’ve missed her.
’
Sarah's laughter reached Alice in the hall. ‘I think she would have been back sooner if she hadn’t been so worried about me, although it’ll be hard for her because, while she’s always busy, she’s never left Arthur all day before. I must admit there’s no denying I’m excited at having him all to myself.’ The smile gradually faded from her voice. ‘It’ll do her good to be amongst her beloved books again.’
Resentment gripped Alice. She didn't want to share Arthur; he was all she had of Freddie. She spun on her heels to go back to her room, before shaking her head and turning back again. Taking a deep breath, her nose wrinkled as the faint aroma of coffee caught her. She avoided touching the door as she stepped into the sitting room. The sun's rays reflected off the mirror above the fireplace, spreading brightness and warmth.
Molly jumped to her feet, grinning from ear to ear. ‘Morning, Alice, I hope you don't mind, but we thought we’d walk to work with you this morning; you know, keep you company just in case—’
‘Morning Alice.’ Victoria tilted her head to one side. ‘We know it's early and we didn't mean to wake everyone…’
‘You haven't.’ Alice's dark rimmed eyes bounced from one to the other, her vacant stare giving nothing away. ‘I didn't realise I’d have an escort to work.’
‘We, we just thought…’ Molly bit her lip as she fidgeted from one foot to the other.
‘Don't worry.’ Sarah stood up. ‘Everything’s fine and it's lovely to see you girls.’ She took a step towards Alice. ‘Would you like me to take him?’
Alice stared at her baby and squeezed him close, before giving him another kiss.
‘Don't worry, I shall guard him with my life and we’ll have fun.’ Sarah smiled at her grandson, who was looking at her with wide eyes. ‘Yes, we will, won't we Arthur?’
Arthur gurgled his delight.
‘I know, Mother.’ Alice's vision blurred, as the tears gathered momentum. ‘I just hate to leave him for so long.’
Sarah nodded. ‘I know, but I promise he’ll be fine.’
Alice stretched out to place Arthur in her mother's arms, before turning to Victoria and Molly. ‘I suppose we should be going.’
They both nodded as one.
Alice looked back at Arthur and her mother, but they were already lost to each other. ‘It doesn't look like I'm going to be missed.’ Her hands twisted together in front of her. ‘So we had better get going.’
Victoria touched her arm as she walked into the hall. ‘At least you know he's in good hands,’ she whispered.
Alice nodded and picked up her grey lightweight jacket. She pulled it together to fasten the buttons. She turned to glance in the mirror. It had been her favourite jacket for years, but for the first time, she wasn't happy with the way it hung so loosely on her. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her handbag. ‘We are off now.’
‘Bye. I hope your day goes well,’ Sarah chirped back. ‘Molly, give my love to your parents.’
‘Will do, Mrs Taylor.’
The three girls left the house and walked a few steps in silence.
Alice frowned and pushed her hair away from her face, as she stared down at the pavement.
Molly broke the silence. ‘It’ll be lovely to see you behind your counter again.’
Victoria followed her lead. ‘Mr Leadbetter only told us yesterday he’d asked you to come back. He said he couldn't get the staff, what with all the extra war work being done by everyone.’
‘I expect it’ll be strange at first,’ Molly chimed in. ‘But you loved working there, so I'm sure you'll soon get back into it.’
‘I'm sure,’ Alice mumbled, concentrating on the way ahead.
Victoria placed her hand on Alice's arm and stopped walking. ‘What is it? Is it leaving Arthur? I'm sure your mother will look after him. Is it—’
‘No.’ Alice's lips straightened into a thin line. ‘I’m pretty sure Arthur will be fine.’ She sucked in her breath, through pursed lips. ‘He looks more and more like Freddie every day; the constant reminder that he’s all I have of him. What happens if he doesn't come back, or doesn't return the same man I married? I see it all the time at the station and the hospitals. The men are broken.’
Molly turned and glared at her friend. ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself; at least you have Arthur. Women have lost sons, husbands and brothers. Some people have lost loved ones and are left with nothing at all.’
Victoria frowned at her friend's outburst. ‘Stop it.’
Molly ignored her. Her eyes glinted as she stared at Alice. ‘If Freddie returns home broken, be grateful he has come back to you, and help stick him back together. Some people aren't that lucky. Some people have no one.’
‘Molly.’ Victoria raised her voice.
‘Well, what do you expect?’ Molly glared at Victoria, before turning her anger on Alice. ‘If he came home right now, what use would you be to him? You’re not even holding it together for your beautiful son, let alone for someone that has seen horrific things that he quite possibly will never be able to remove from his mind. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you should be grateful for the good things you still have in your life.’ A tear slid down her cheek. She turned and carried on walking.
*
Sarah stood in the hall, holding a brown envelope in her hand. She stared down at it, instantly recognising Robert's handwriting. She pulled it to her chest and breathed a sigh of relief, before stepping quickly into the sitting room, not noticing her heels clicking on the tiled floor. Struggling to catch her breath, she reached out to grip the back of the nearest armchair. Her attention was immediately drawn to Arthur, who was fast asleep in his chair. She stood still for a moment, closing her eyes as she gasped for breath. The scent of the potted lavender Mrs Headley had left on the sideboard the previous day filled the room, distracting Sarah as she breathed. ‘Stay calm; you’ve your grandson to think about,’ she told herself. She took deep breaths, in a bid to control her breathing and the light headedness that was creeping over her. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the chair, leaning back to rest her head, not loosening her tight grip on the letter.
‘Is everything all right, Mrs Taylor?’
Mrs Headley's voice found its way through the fog that had gripped Sarah. She opened her eyes and gave her a weak smile. ‘Indeed, Mrs Headley.’ Sarah lifted her hand holding the letter. ‘It looks like we’ve a letter from Robert.’
The housekeeper nodded. ‘If you don't mind me saying, ma'am, it doesn't look like it's done you much good; you look quite pale. Can I get you a drink or something?’
Sarah gave a feeble laugh. ‘It's probably shock. He's been away nearly two years and it's the first letter we’ve had.’ She looked down at the envelope and turned it over in her hand.
Mrs Headley didn't take her eyes off her.
‘I think I’ll have some tea, please.’ Sarah smiled up at the housekeeper. ‘Thank you for the lavender.’
‘I've heard said that it has healing qualities, ma'am.’
Sarah nodded. ‘Yes, I think I was told that once.’ She paused as her mind wandered. ‘Poppy always grew it in the garden.’
Mrs Headley nodded. ‘It is popular, and I believe easy to grow.’
‘I didn't realise you were into gardening, Mrs Headley.’ Sarah arched her eyebrows. ‘Is there nothing you don't know?’
‘Plenty, ma'am.’
Sarah laughed. ‘Well, I hope you know we appreciate everything you do for us, and we all regard you as family.’
Colour flooded the housekeeper's face and neck. ‘Thank you, ma'am.’ She gave a slight bow. ‘I'll fetch your tea, ma'am.’ Mrs Headley spun on her heels and left the room.
Sarah looked around for the silver letter opener, but she couldn't see it, so she slid her finger under the envelope's seal and ran it along its edge. She pulled the opening apart and peered inside, before pulling out the single sheet of paper. She unfolded it. The paper was stiff, and brown rivulets ran, where it had got wet.
M
rs Headley came in and, without a word, left the tea things on the side table.
Dear All,
I hope everyone is safe at home. I hear snippets about life in Blighty, but not very much. Thank you for the parcels I have received, particularly the socks and balaclavas. They have helped keep me, and some of the others, warm. I particularly enjoyed the book you sent me, The Thirty Nine Steps. It helped keep me occupied so I’ve passed it on for some of the others to read. We all get quite excited when a parcel arrives and tend to share out the contents. I actually had some chocolate yesterday, which was wonderful. Yes, I have come to appreciate the simple things in life, like chocolate.
I keep a diary now; it helps to keep my sanity and I know it's a cheek to ask, but when you send another parcel, could you include writing paper for me please.
I know I haven't been a very good son, particularly with my letter writing, but I find it hard to think about you all at home. The last thing I want to do is cause you worry.
It has been freezing here in St Eloi, that's near Ypres, in Belgium, Mother.
Sarah smiled at her son's cheekiness; geography had never been her strong point, despite her extensive travels with Poppy, in her younger days.
We are continually wading in water and I don't think my feet will ever be the same again. I can't pretend I don't miss the normalities of life in London, or all the things I used to moan about, including my brother and sisters. On the one hand, I try not to think about it because then it becomes too hard to deal with, but I do fear I will forget what normal life is. Tell Charles not to rush into enlisting when he is eighteen, because the reality is horrendous. I am lucky to still be alive; I have seen plenty going to meet their maker.
A lump formed in Sarah's throat. She blinked several times to hold back the tears, pricking at her eyes like hundreds of needles.
I am hoping the powers that be will let me home on leave soon. I miss Mrs Headley's cooking and the thought of just sitting and doing nothing, which I do here, but it's hard to relax, not knowing when the next bombs or gunfire are going to rain down on you.
The Foyles Bookshop Girls Page 28