I feel like that. Well I actually feel like I should have had my fingers and toes crossed because I just made a deal and I already don’t think I can keep it. Looking out the car window, everything seems so peaceful. Other people sat in their own cars and no one really knows what going on in each other’s heads. I don’t even know what’s going on in my own head half the time. But why can’t life just be like the scenery.
Peaceful. Beautiful. Strong like the mountains.
‘And another body has been found. The partially clothed body of a young woman, still to be identified, was found in woodland. Animal control are out searching for what they consider to be a large wolf or bear. And in other recent....’
The news anchor on the radio caught my attention with the latest news of another attack. I couldn’t help but think of a certain large midnight black wolf and wonder if he was the cause. And I may just be that stupid but I really don’t think he was. I didn’t get the murderous vibe from him. But I’m no wolf whisperer so who knows. Strange though that the last attack happened the same night I had seen him and again last night.
No, I wasn’t going to believe it was him. It’s just a coincidence. Maybe Logan’s dad was right and it was just a bear.
“Do bears usually attack around here?” I say to Chris as we pull into the school parking lot.
“Not really. You’ll often find an animal attacked by a wolf or bear but never humans. It’s odd really. To be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t an animal and just some crazy psycho.” He shrugs his shoulders as if the idea only just really came to him and he was still thinking it over.
“What? Like a serial killer? But they said the bodies were like, in a really bad condition?” I say starting to freak out. I was starting to like it here. I’m not liking the idea of a serial killer in such a small town. The odds would not be forever in your favour.
“Who says that a strong enough guy can’t do that. People have done much worse. Think about it. Both victims were women. Both around early twenties. I’ll take a guess and say they were both good looking. Both were only partially clothed. It just makes sense.” He parks his car expertly and waits for me to get out.
“But then why haven’t the police said anything about searching for a killer. They’ve only ever mentioned bears and wolves.” I question him. But his theory does actually make some sense.
“Don’t you ever watch crime shows. The police never give all the information out, and maybe they want the guy to think he’s getting away with it so he gets lazy and slips up.” He shrugs his shoulders again, and carries on walking into school. I hate to say it but it really does make sense. Part of me now wishes it was my wolf. At least the attacks would just be animal instinct, but a crazy person.....
I get to lunch and realise that I didn’t need to be worried this morning about showing up with Chris. Logan’s not even here. I havent seen him all day, and I’ve not even had any tingles that maybe he was just watching me. I really do need to find out why I get those; but it’s not like it’s a normal question you can just come out and ask. I’ll just have to add it to growing list of questions for him. I have also realised that my mind constantly wanders to him. To three little words.
′because you’re mine’.
I’m thinking about what he’s doing, where he is. Who’s he with? And I hate to admit it but whenever I think about who he is with I find myself feeling something vaguely like jealousy. I’ve never felt so consumed by a guy before. I may not have had many boyfriends, not real ones anyway, but I’m a girl. I’ve had crushes before. But nothing on this scale. I seriously need to take up a new hobby.
“So do you need a ride home after school?” Chris asks while bumping my shoulder with his at the lunch table. I’ve come to love lunch times. It’s just everyone all talking over each other, about boys, girls, shopping, sport. It feels normal. I feel normal. I’ve only been here for four or five weeks but already I feel like I’ve been part of this group for a while. They all just welcomed me in. No questions asked.
“No, I’m good thanks Amber is going to give me a lift, but maybe tomorrow we could start those lessons. If you have time that is. And I’ll pay you. I don’t expect you to give your time up for free.” I’m not too sure spending more one on one time with Chris is good and certainly not the type of hobby I was thinking of, but I really do want to get back in the driving seat. Especially if there is a mad man out there. I don’t want to be caught having to walk home by myself. And I do like spending time with him. He makes me laugh and makes me feel nice. I like that feeling. He also makes me stop thinking about a sexy green eyed guy.
“Sure thing, but no need to pay me. I’m happy to help.” He puts his arms around my chair and leans in closer to me. He plasters his award winning smile on his handsome face.
“However, if you did want to pay me, I’m sure we could come up with something.” He has his cocky smirk on his face, which tells me he’s only teasing me. So I decide play along with him. The bell rings giving me chance to reply and then make a quick get away.
“Well, I’m sure we could work something out” I say with a smirk and wink of my own, and then quickly grab Amber and Rachel’s arm and walk out of the lunch room.
“See I told you he was a great guy. You gonna get on that.” Rachel says. I think only she could actually pull off what she says. If I was to say some of the things she does I would just sound like an idiot.
“No I’m not ‘gonna get on that’. He’s not a horse you know. How’s things going with Ryan?” I reply back. Trying to get the attention on her and not me and Chris. Not that there even is a ‘me and Chris’.
“Well actually, I’ve decided I’m going to take charge and ask him out. This is the 21st century and women have been taking charge for years now. So it’s time I stepped up.” She stands up straighter as she talks as if the emphasise her point.
“Good for you Rach, I hope he see’s what a catch you are. If not I may have to have a word with him.” We split off to our different classes ready to finish our day.
I had already pre arranged to meet Amber at her car after final bell, we get there almost at the same time. We make easy conversation on the ride home. I’m glad that I met her. I think I needed someone like her. She is always so happy and cheerful, I think otherwise being in a new school may have majorly sucked. We pull onto my drive and she suddenly stops taking. I look ahead to my house so see what has her speechless, after all it doesn’t happen very often.
Oh.
“Um...I think someone’s waiting for you. Are you ok? Do you need me to stay? I’ll Stay” She says quickly, like she can’t get her words out fast enough. I just shake my head, but without taking my eyes off the sight in front of me. I’ve been dying to see him all day. Now that’s he’s here, I don’t know what I’ll actually say; but I sure don’t want an audience.
“No it’s fine. I’ll be fine.” She just looks at me unconvinced.
“Honestly I’m fine. Anyway I can take care of myself. I dig around in my bag and pull a small spray can out. I wiggle it in my hand.
“My dad always told me to carry pepper spray, I know how to use it. But I’ll be fine. He won’t hurt me.” I try to sound reassuring, and I’m glad she can’t hear the beating of my heart. From nerves and from excitement at seeing him. I shouldn’t feel excited though. Yesterday I told him to go. I need to be strong.
“You don’t know that for sure Alex. I don’t know. Maybe we should just drive back to my house. Wait for your aunt to get home. Chris is gonna go crazy.” She stops half way up the long drive. I Put my hand on her arm to help soothe her worries.
“He won’t hurt me. Trust me. I’ll be fine. Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow. But could you do me a favour please?” I ask with a small smile, biting my lip a little nervous to ask. I don’t like lying. And I’m about to ask someone to maybe do just that for me.
“Ok, if your sure. But text me when he goes. And call if you need me. What favour do you need?” She asks
.
“Please don’t tell Chris.” I blurt out quickly.
“Alex, I don’t know, he’s gonna be pissed if he finds out I lied to him.” She’s shaking her head. Obviously torn between helping out two friends.
“You're not lying, you're just not going to tell him that Logan was at my house. Please? He’s just gets really protective and I don’t want him to do something silly.” I’m squeezing her hand a little tighter, trying to get her to understand that this is a big deal to me.
“Ok I’ll do it. But if he asks outright if Logan was here, I’ll have to tell him anyway. He always knows when I’m lying. Don’t make me regret this.” She takes he foot off the brake and carries on up the drive.
“Thank you” I say as I get out the car. I stand and watch her drive away before turning around walking to meet him.
He’s sat quite comfortably on the porch steps. I can’t help that my heart beats a little faster the closer I get to him.
He stands up and hooks his thumbs on his jeans pockets. He has on black slim fitting jeans, with a white v neck tee. I’m sure he just wears those because he knows how good he looks in them. Then to make himself look even more hotter he has on his black leather jacket.
Concentrate Alex. Don’t be swayed by his good looks.
“Hey” he speaks first. By stays where he is.
“Hey” I repeat back to him. I must be more brave than I think I am because I keep walking toward him. Although rather than it being my decision to go to him, it feels like there’s some hidden force pulling me to him.
“You wasn’t in school today. Everything alright?” I ask. He only smiles a little and nods his head.
“You missed me?” He says and at the same time takes a step forward. I stay still, rooted to the ground.
“No, not at all. Just curious. That’s all” I’m lying through my teeth. I’m only now realising being this close to him, how much I’ve been craving seeing him all day. I thought it was just my mind that wouldn’t stop thinking about him. But my whole body seems to be sighing in relief now that I’m near him.
“Uh huh. You didn’t even miss me a little bit” he’s in a playful mood. It makes me smile and I can feel my will power slipping. I need to remember that I can’t have him, he’s not mine. I need to remember Chris’ black and blue face.
“Nope. Not at all....so what were you up to that kept you away from school?” Away from me? His eyebrow come together in a frown and he tilts his head down so his hair falls in front of his eyes. I can’t take my eyes off his hair.
“We had some issues at home that needed to be dealt with quickly. So I couldn’t come in today. I actually really wanted to as well today.” He smiles, stepping closer so our toes are touching. I go to take a step away, but he quickly stops me by bringing his arm around me and placing his hand on my back holding me in place.
“Where were you going?” He asks. All playfulness now seems to have left him. He’s looking at me intently in the eyes. It reminds me of looking at my wolf last night and him reminding me of Logan. Now it’s the other way round. Their eyes are the exact same colour. And my eyes are glued on him.
“I.... Ummm..... Just need.....” I’m struggling to get my words out and he knows it. Anybody who was listening would know it.
“I’ve been thinking of you all day.” He runs his other hand up my arm and leaves it resting just above my shoulder underneath my hair and his finger tips keeps running patterns on the back of my neck.
“You have?” I manage to get out. Focus Alex!
“Hmmm, about us.” He leans his head down and puts his face in my hair.
“Us?” I croak, I can feel myself starting to become unsteady so I grab a handful of his shirt by his waist to try and keep me more balanced. The moment I take hold of his shirt however he makes a low growling sound. A rumble that comes from his chest and I can feel it vibrate through me.
“God I love the smell of your hair.” It’s almost like he doesn’t realise what he’s saying. He’s just saying his thoughts aloud.
“Logan” I say and tug on his shirt to try and gain his attention.
“Yes Alexia.” He whispers in my ear. I love it when he says my name. No one else calls me Alexia. It’s like it’s just for him.
“What are you doing here?” He places kisses on my neck. Damn those little kisses. Now I can’t think straight! I place my other hand on his hip and lean a little into him. I have no idea what’s going on around us. Aliens could have landed right next to us and I wouldn’t know. Right now the only two people on the planet are me and him. My hand feels like it’s in a fire and the heat is traveling all throughout my body.
“Shhh” he murmurs and carries on, wrapping his fingers in my hair.
“Logan, what.....” I start to say again. He nips my ear lobe, sending sparks everywhere and whispers.
“I’m making you forget about Chris... and taking what’s mine.”
I’m not too sure that I just heard him correctly.
I reach up to his hands that were around my neck and are now moving into my hair and pull them down trying to break what ever spell seems to have overtaken him.
“Logan. Stop. You’re talking in riddles. What do you mean? Whats yours to take? And what does Chris have to do with this?” I can barely hear myself talk because my face is hiding in his chest. Although I may have interrupted something happening between us, I’m not ready to let go of him yet. Or even move away from him. This close to him I can feel his heart beating faster than what it should be. I feel a small moment of triumph, knowing that I’m not the only person who is being affected by whatever it is going on between us.
He takes a small step away so he can see me and cups my face in his hand, making sure that I’m looking at him directly in the eyes. I can never understand how his eyes almost always seem to be different colours. They have the same golden hue that they had in the cafe that first Saturday night we went out. I think green mingled in with gold may just be my new favourite colour.
“You, Alexia.” Is all he says while running his thumbs across my cheeks.
“Me what? Riddles again Logan?” I don’t think I will ever get a straight answer from him.
“And Chris certainly has nothing to do with this.” His eyes flash a darker shade before turning softer again and he bumps his nose with mine, like an eskimo kiss.
“And what exactly is this Logan?” I say closing my eyes. I want to be able to think and I can’t do that if he’s standing this close to me. Especially looking at me the way he is, with so much emotion in his eyes.
“This is us, Alexia.” he says in a whisper, like its a secret that no one else can know. I’m so confused right now. I feel like I have missed some vital piece of information. I’m usually quite a quick minded person but when I’m around Logan my brain gets covered in a thick fog and I’m unable to think straight.
“I’m sorry Alexia, I thought I would be able to stay away from you. But I’m not strong enough. And Chris. I swear to all that is holy that I will break his neck if he keeps on touching you the way that he does. You aren’t his to touch.” He’s talking again as if he isn’t in control of all that he is saying.
“Logan, I don't understand what you are talking about? What are you saying? What...” I don’t get chance to finish what I was about to ask. His mouth comes crashing down on mine with crushing force. His hands move to behind my head and into my hair. Even if I wanted to move away, I don’t think I would be able to, his hold on me is too strong.
My own arms seem to move of their own accord. They wrap around his shoulders and I reach up on my tip toes to get closer to him. I now realise that the tingles and butterflies I feel when I am around him isn’t something else, it’s him. What is coursing through my body right now feels like enough electricity to run an entire state. I feel like I’m stood next to a roaring fire, with the heat that is radiating off Logan’s body.
“Mine” I keep hearing Logan say while he is kissing me, I’m not sure how th
ough, it doesn’t seem like his lips ever loose contact with my skin. His lips move away from my bruised lips and down to the crook of my neck. This is nothing like the sweet little kisses he has placed there before. These are hot, demanding kisses, that really would make me drop to the ground if his hold on me wasn’t so tight.
“You are mine, Alexia. Chris or anybody else won't have you. You belong to me.” I hear what he is saying and strangely find myself agreeing with him, and I just nod my head. If I was asked a week ago if I would agree to what he has just stated, I’m pretty sure my answer would have been ‘not a chance in hell’, however it feels right. And even though right at this moment I don’t have the courage to say it out loud, I know that he is mine. The thought of him with anyone else is soul destroying. He pulls away from me slightly to look at me fully.
River Falls: The Wolves Page 12