River Falls: The Wolves

by Lizzie Wildblood

“My intended? Alexia its not what you think, we need to... ” And he runs his hands through his hair as I interrupt him again.

  “It's no good talking Logan if you aren’t going to be honest with me and if you can’t even admit to seeing her then I don’t really see any point...” this time he interrupts me.

  “Me seeing someone? What about you? The whole schools talking about the cutest couple. Alex and Chris. Chris and Alex. So is there anything that you want to be honest with me about? Because it seems to me that you’re accusing me of doing something that you’re doing your self.” He’s getting worked up and is actually raising his voice to me, which is something he has never done before.

  “There is no me and Chris. You always believe everything you hear?” At that my phone ringing interrupts us. I know the ring tone; I have a separate one for him that he programmed in himself.

  “You going to get that?” he questions me.

  “No” I reply sternly.

  “You’re not going to check who it is?” the way he is looking at me, its so cold, he has never looked at me that before either. I don’t like it. It hurts me, but I’m still angry with him. I’m not actually sure why though.

  “No, I don’t need...” I begin to say and he starts to chuckle sarcastically.

  “Oh you already know who it is. He has his own special ring. That’s cute. Just perfect for the perfect couple.” He runs his hands through his hair and turns away from me.

  This is not how I intended this to go. Why am I feeling like I’m the bad guy. Like I’ve done something wrong.

  “Why are we even arguing about this? We are both free to see other people any way. We aren’t anything special. Just take me home.” He stays facing away from me.

  “So you admit you are seeing him?” I feel like screaming at him Why can't people ever understand friendship?

  “No Logan, I’m not seeing him. I’ve never kissed him. We are friends, that’s all, but I’m just saying that we, you and me, aren’t anything special so it would be ok anyway even if I were. Which I’m not.” Now I’m just confusing my self. It seems that within a few fractions of a second Logan is stood in front of me. Very close.

  “Nothing special?” he repeats and takes a step so he is even closer, but I take a step back. I don’t say anything, just shake my head.

  He grabs my hand and lifts our linked hands to my eye line. Tingles are shooting all through my hand and up my arm.

  “Are you going to tell me that this is nothing special? I know you feel it.” His eyes are focused only on me and I can’t look away. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. I can’t deny it but I don’t want to admit to it either.

  He trails his other hand down my other arm and leaves it planted on my hip.

  “What about this?” he questions again.

  “Logan I...” his eyes close for a few seconds and when they open they are a bright gold colour.

  “Alexia” he says with a smug smirk on his lips. Like he knows he is about to move the winning chess piece and claim the victory. The moment he says my name, my legs go a little weak and his hand that was holding my hand goes to my waist so he is holding me up.

  “You sure there’s nothing special between us, Alexia?” he pulls me closer to him so he has a tighter hold of me and sparks are literally going all over my body. Every time he says my name my body betrays me and lets him know that he is affecting me.

  “Logan your eyes...” I can’t think straight. I think I’m seeing things. He dips his head and places little kisses in the crook of my neck and up my jaw line. I can’t help the whimper of pleasure that escapes my lips.

  “We are special Alexia... You...are...mine.” He says between placing kisses on my neck.

  But it’s those three little words again that snap me back to reality.

  “No Logan... I’m not” I say forcefully and push hard on his chest to get him away from me.

  He looks at me like I have just crushed his soul.

  “Yes, you are Alexia. You just don’t understand. Let me explain.” He stands still not coming any closer to me.

  “No Logan, you can’t just keep doing this. Its not fair. You can’t send me creepy letters and flowers one day and the next day get upset when you think I’m with someone else and kiss me. Take me home. I want to go home.”

  “But you are supposed to be with me, just let me explain. I can explain now. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just ... don’t push me away.” He seems so sincere, and I want to believe him, but its almost like he didn’t even hear what I have said, he hasn’t even acknowledged that I have mentioned the notes. And him being sincere doesn’t make up for the way those notes made me feel. I deserve better than someone who would do that to me.

  “Tell me why?” I just want him to admit it.

  “Why what?” he looks confused and takes a step closer to me. I take a step back, making the distance between us the same.

  “The notes Logan. Why?” I say exasperated. Why can’t he just confess it?

  “Alexia I have no idea what you’re talking about. What notes?” he takes another step towards me.

  “Do you know how they made me feel? You scared me Logan. But you can’t even tell me the truth now. Just forget it. I’m done. I’ll walk home.” I can feel my eyes start to fill up and I will the tears not to fall. I turn around to start walking back towards the road but he is there in front of me. Blocking my path.

  “Alexia, I’m being very truthful here. I have never sent you any notes. I have no idea what you’re talking about. But I want to know what you’re talking about in the next five seconds. Why did they scare you? What did they say?” he takes another step and he is now standing in front of me. Waiting for my answer. His eyes have turned from their gold to a darker green. For a while I don’t know what to say and I just stand there.

  I start to shake my head.

  “No, you’re lying. It is you. It has to be.” It’s barely more than a whisper when the words leave my mouth. It has to be him. I don’t stop him when he places his hand on my face and forces me to look him in the eye.

  “It’s not me Alexia. I need you to tell me what’s going on.” His eyes have gone back to their normal colour now.

  “But you said I was yours. And that’s what the note said. It is you.” I’m suddenly scared and I take a tiny step closer to Logan. Closer to where I feel safe. He is just shaking his head at me slightly.

  “Its not me Alexia.” He says again in a quiet tone.

  “But if it’s not you, then who is it?” I whisper back like I’m afraid someone is watching us and is listening to what we are saying.

  “I need you to tell me everything, can you do that?” he asks while pulling me into his arms to hold me. My arms act on instinct and go around him to and grasp onto his jumper.

  “Someone is sending me notes.” I say quietly after we have gone back over to the rock to sit down. I hear a low growling sound and I realize its coming from Logan. I have an impulse to calm him down so I place my hand in his and entwine our fingers like when we were walking here. It seemed to relax him then.

  “Go on” he says.

  “And flowers too. But not like a bunch of flowers, it’s a wild flower. A little white one.” I’m talking quietly but I know he can hear me. His hand that I’m not holding onto is clenched into a tight fist.

  “How are you getting them?” he says in a low gravelly voice. There’s still a low growl behind his words, and I can tell he is holding back his anger, but I know it isn’t aimed at me. It’s aimed at whoever is doing this to me.

  “Different ways, they are always just left for me to find, on my porch, in my locker, my handbag... my balcony” he rises quickly and starts pacing in front of me.

  “You mean right outside your bedroom? When you were out? ...And how the hell did someone put something in your bag without you knowing?” his voice is gaining volume now. And I’m starting to feel like he is shouting at me. Like I’m the one that’s done something wrong.
/>
  “Hey don’t you dare shout at me, this isn’t my fault. If anything it’s your fault!” my own voice is getting louder, my temper raising too.

  “My fault? How do you figure that?” he questions.

  “Well if you hadn’t been such a jerk because people may have seen us kissing in your car at school, then I would never have been in the forest that day, and I wouldn’t have woken up on the forest floor with a note in my bag” he turns to me and advances quickly.

  “You fell asleep in the forest?...You were alone in the forest? Are you stupid? You can’t...”

  “Did you just call me stupid?” I can’t actually remember a time when I have been so angry with someone. My blood is boiling, my heart is pounding, and I feel like I’m about to explode.

  “Well you must be if you fell asleep in the forest, don’t you know how dangerous that is? My five year old cousin knows not to do that!”

  I turn around without saying anything and start walking. I hear him shout after me but I just ignore him.

  “Alexia...wait”

  Wait? So I can be called stupid again... no thanks.

  Not looking where I should be putting my feet I trip and fall forwards. I brace myself for the impact that’s about to come.

  But it doesn’t.

  Instead a pair of strong arms wraps themselves around me and I’m pulled into a solid chest. Why do I love this feeling so much? This feeling of just being held by him. It feels so right. But surely if something was right then it wouldn’t be so complicated, would it?

  “I’m sorry,” he says quietly in my ear. I try to ignore the shivers it sends through my body, and I remember that this isn’t the first time he has said sorry to me. If two people are meant to be together the way that he keeps trying to tell me we are, then we shouldn’t have to keep apologising to each other. I try to gain back some of my anger from just moments ago and hold on to it.

  “No Logan. That’s not going to work this time.” I’m surprised at the strength in the voice. I’m not sure how long it will last though.

  “Let me go.” I say quietly.

  “I can’t, ask me to do anything Alexia, I will do it for you. Anything...anything but that.” I almost believe him.

  Almost.

  I push my self firmly out of his hold and he lets me, but his eyes are focused only on me.

  “Let me go Logan.” I say again but louder this time and I turn and walk away. To my surprise he lets me go. Maybe he didn’t care that much after all. I can feel the tears about to spill onto my cheeks and I can’t do anything to stop them. I reach into my bag and grab my phone. I find the number I want quickly and press call.

  “Hey” The other person answers.

  “Hey, can you come get me please? No questions?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Coward

  I can hear the concern in his voice. It pulls on me and makes my feet stop walking. I do what he asks, and wait for him to catch up to me, it doesn’t take long.

  “Alexia. I can explain, just wait will you?”

  He comes to stand behind me. I can’t see him but I know he is there. I can feel him standing close to me.

  “I know that you’re not stupid, it’s just that I need you to be safe and I don’t think that you understand how dangerous it is. Especially for you.” he talks low over my shoulder and I involuntary lean back towards him, he takes that as an invitation to hold onto my waist.

  “Why especially me? What difference does it make just because its me?” I question him quietly. I can’t turn to face him. I just keep staring at the road ahead.

  “I mean, you are in more danger because of who you are. Because of who you are to me. Because of what you mean to me.” He talks low into my ear, but his words are just confusing me even more.

  “And what am I to you?” my heart beats faster and I try to control my voice to keep it steady.

  “Everything” he says one word and drops his head into the crook of my neck and sighs a sound of contentment.

  “I don’t understand you Logan. I don’t know what you want from me.” I speak honestly.

  “I don’t want anything from you Alexia, I just want you. I need you. You don’t know how much I need you.” as he speaks his arms snake further around my waist and he pulls me even tighter to his body. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything, I just stand there letting him hold me.

  After a few minutes my phone starts ringing and he stiffens at the tone and removes his arms from around me when I answer it.

  “Okay I’ll be there in a minute. Thank you.” I hang up the call and turn to face him.

  “Why? Why him? Don’t go with him? You can’t expect me to just watch you go with him and do nothing.” One hand is in a tight fist at his side the other is going roughly through his hair.

  “Yes I can expect you to do that. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to do that. We aren’t together Logan. It’s not up to you what I do. I’m going Logan. You have to let me. I think we both just need some time to think things over and when you have, I think you will realise this is for the best.” He goes to step towards me but I hold out my hand to stop him.

  “Alex. You ok babe?” I hear Chris call from somewhere behind me, I don’t take my eyes off Logan. His eyes have turned black. I’ve never seen them change that fast before. I’ve never seen anybodies eyes do that before. I start to feel nervous. Not for me. I know now that Logan would never hurt me. I feel nervous for Chris. I’m not entirely sure now what I have bought him into. All I know is that; with Logan nothing is ever simple or normal. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel human.

  “I’m coming, I’m fine.” I call back to him.

  “Bye Logan.” I turn to leave and he reaches out to me and holds gently on to my arm.

  “Get your hands off her Logan. She said she’s leaving.” Logan’s grip tightens on my arm but not enough to hurt me.

  “You need to stay out of things that don’t concern you O'Connor.” Logan says through clenched teeth.

  “When it involves Alex, it does concern me. Now I’m not going to ask you again. Remove your hand.” Most people would cower away from Logan when he looks at them the way he is looking at Chris right now. However Chris is unaffected by him.

  “How do you know its not him Alexia? The notes? How do you know?” He is talking quietly, but I know Chris can hear him and I expect him to ask me what he was talking about.

  “It’s not. Good bye Logan.” I take a step away but Logan still has a gentle but firm hold on my arm.

  “Alexia...” it’s almost a whisper. But it’s full of emotion. Full of sadness, like me walking away right now is the worst thing that could possibly happen to him.

  That’s why I know I have to leave him, leave before anything even got started. Because if something did start, I don’t think it would ever finish.

  I place the palm of my hand on the side of his face and bring his head close to mine.

  “Let me go Logan.” I say while nodding my head lightly, letting him know that’s its ok. I feel his hand leave my arm and an ache starts to build deep within me.

  I make my way back to the road where I know Chris’s truck will be, and Chris follows in silence.

  We both get in and he drives off straight away, heading for home. For the first few minutes neither of us says anything.

  “Are you crazy?” Chris’s words bring me out of the dark hole I could feel myself slipping into.

  “Chris, its...” I don’t know what to say to him. He just looks at me and then back to the road. I don’t like the way he looks. Like he is disappointed in me. Like I have let him down. The thing is though, is that I do actually feel like I have let him down in some way.

  “It’s what Alex, because you’re going to have to explain it to me, because I don’t know why you would be out in the middle of nowhere with an absolute psycho. One that you promised you were staying away from. Do you not remember what he is capable of? Come on Alex I know you are no
t that stu...” I cut him off mid sentence.

  “Do not finish that word Chris. I’ve had enough of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do and then calling me stupid for doing something that they see as the wrong choice.” I can feel myself getting worked up but I don’t want to be angry with Chris. He came to get me, with out even hesitating just asking for my locations details from my phone. I should be thanking him, but instead we are arguing.

  “Alex I know...” I don’t let him finish again.

  “Chris you promised no questions. Can we please just leave it at that?” I know it’s a big thing to ask. To hope that he will just drop it, to my astonishment, he does and we drive the rest of the way home in silence.