“My mark will sit upon your neck, right here.” He indicates by placing another kiss there. I don’t say anything; just try to hold my groan of pleasure in.
“It will let all other wolves know that you belong to me” I lean back when he says that and raise my eyebrows questioningly.
“Don’t look at me like that, in the werewolf world when I say that you belong to me, I just mean that you are mine, my mate. It lets other wolves know that you are mated to someone and they need to back off and not touch you.” His eyes start glowing that golden colour.
“What about a human, what would it mean to another human” I don’t even know why I’m asking the question. He looks like he does know why I’ve asked and his face hardens.
“Why, are you worried about what O'Connor will think when he sees it?” he asks a little harshly.
“No, its not just him, its everybody, unless there’s more wolves at school I don’t know about then everyone else I know is human, if and it is an if, I let you do this I just want to know what they would see, what would my aunt see?” I say honestly, I can’t read what’s going on in his head.
"Well, firstly, we, my family that is, are part of quite a large pack, so yes there are more werewolves around school and town, secondly your aunt and other humans would just see it as a faint scar. To be honest though unless they were quite close to your neck they probably wouldn’t even notice. To a werewolf its not only seeing the mark, you entire scent would change, others who knew me would be able to smell me. Someone who doesn’t know me would just smell of another male wolf, it’s hard to explain, I don’t think I’m doing such a great job at it. Is it too much to...” a knock on the door stops him talking.
“Come in” he calls to who ever is on the other side. An elegant lady walks in she looks like she is in her mid to late thirties, I instantly recognise her from some of the photos around Logan’s room so I know she is older than what she looks. This is his mother. Another werewolf. As if sensing my uneasiness Logan starts to rub my arms gently.
“Hey sweetie, how are you feeling now, Logan said your were hungry?” I look back to him and his phone, which I know he hasn’t used and he hasn’t left my side so I’m left wondering how he told her exactly, he just shrugs his shoulders at me and winks.
“So anyway I fixed you up a little sandwich, I hope its ok for you. If you don’t like it I can make something else, shall I make you some soup? I’ll make you some soup, I’ll just be a little...” I warm to her instantly and forget about the fact that she is a werewolf; I don’t want to put her out anymore than she already is, and the sandwich does look tasty. I rise from my place on the bed, earning me a low growl from Logan, who disapproves of me moving out of his arms. I just ignore him and move over to his mum to stop her from taking my sandwich away.
“No, thank you the sandwich looks delicious, I don’t need soup, this is perfect. Thank you. And thank you for letting me stay in your beautiful home.” She smiles at me and I see where Logan gets his award-winning smile.
“If you’re sure sweetie, its no bother?” she questions me but I don’t need to answer because Logan answers for me.
“Mum, please stop fussing, if she said the sandwich is fine, then its fine. But where’s mine?” I can’t believe he’s actually pouting at his mum. A smirk appears on her face and she taps him on the shoulder.
“You’re a big boy now, you know where the kitchen is, if you want a snack, go get one. Just because they are big alphas, we can’t let them boss us around.” She says looking over to me. I really do like her already. She turns and walks from the room, gently closing the door behind her.
“Logan?”
“Yes Alexia?”
“What exactly is an alpha?”
Chapter Twenty
Is it True?
He just smiles gently at me and pulls me back toward the bed again and places me how we were sat before his mum came in.
“I was going to get to that, a group of werewolves is called a pack. All the werewolves in this area belong to this pack, the Blackmoon Pack. We are actually quite a large pack. Think of it as a big extended family. The Head or leader of the Pack is the Alpha.”
“So why did your mum say because they are big Alphas?” I ask and I feel him take a deep breath in before responding to me.
“Well she said that because my dad is actually the Alpha, of the pack.” He says it cautiously, like he is afraid of scaring me any further than I already am. I move away from him so I can turn around to face him
“Okay, so what does that mean? Why do you seem so worried telling me that? What aren’t you telling me?” I look him in the eye, I know he wants to evade telling me something, I may not have werewolf senses and can feel what he is feeling but I’m still a woman, I can pick up on things.
“Well, it means that it’s my dads job to take care of the people in the pack, to make all the decisions that affect the pack. To lead them, and lead them well. My mum said they because I am an Alpha wolf too. Alphas are stronger, faster, more dedicated to whatever they do, and to who they love and care about. Our blood is different, the makeup of our DNA is different and it’s passed on genetically. Sort of like a royal family. I’m the next alpha of my pack. I will lead this pack one day, and take charge of it, when he steps down.” He stops hesitantly and I know there is more he wants to say but is unsure of how to say it.
“That’s a lot of responsibility, is this part of what you spoke of when we went out that first time, by the lake? What happens if you don’t want it?” I couldn’t imagine not being able to choose what I wanted to do with my life. Not that I knew what I wanted to do, but still I would hate that.
“Well, my mum and dad aren’t just my mum and dad, they, together are my Alphas too. My mum is the Luna of the pack. They lead together. Being together makes them stronger. Having your mate by your side makes an Alpha a better Alpha. There are a few Alphas who lead their pack without their mate but that’s only because they haven’t met them yet. If you have met your mate, its virtually impossible to lead your pack without them.” He hasn’t taken his eyes from mine and I cant look away from him; in my head I think I know what he is saying but its still not clicking in place.
“Okay... what exactly are you getting at here Logan?” he takes the sandwich I’ve been holding away, grasps my hand and entwines our fingers, I tear my gaze away from him to look down at our joined hands. The electricity I can feel is strong enough that I ought to be able to see actual sparks.
“What I’m trying to say Alexia, is that I can’t lead, I can’t be the Alpha of the Blackmoon Pack without my mate by my side. Without you standing and leading with me, as equals. I am the future Alpha of this pack, and you are the future Luna.” His other hand goes to behind my neck to hold me in place; I can feel my self swaying a little at what he has just said.
I think I’m about to throw up.
I don’t say anything.
I don’t know what to say.
“Alexia... tell me what you’re thinking right now. Your heart sounds like its about to explode.”
I still don’t say anything.
I still don’t know what to say. I’m human, five hours ago I didn’t even know werewolves existed and now I’m being told that I’m supposed to lead them? How is that even possible? But if I say I can’t then if what Logan says is true, then he can’t either. How is that fair?
“How?” I quietly whisper, but he hears me.
“How what?” he says as he pulls me into him, but I place my palms flat on his chest and push away from him, I don’t want him to calm me, I don’t want to be calmed, I want to have a clear head. I can see the hurt and confusion in his eyes as I push him away.
“Don’t do that Logan.” I say, my voice steadier than I expected it to.
“Don’t do what Alexia? Don’t hold you?” he reaches out to me again and I take a step back.
“Don’t touch me, don’t do that thing that you do, that makes me feel what I feel. I just need...
I just need a little breathing space Logan. Being near you, touching you, clouds everything and blurs things together. I need to process.” He doesn’t say anything, just walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.
“How am I supposed to lead a group of... of? To stand equal to you. I’m not... I’m human. I’m not equal to you. I can’t even say the word.” He is in front of me faster than I can even see him move. He is close to me, but as I asked he isn’t touching me, but he is close enough that I can feel his breath on my face.
“Don’t ever say that Alexia. You are my equal, the only person who is. You are stronger than you know. My pack will love you, they will follow you and they wont care that you are human, they would die to protect you.” His eyes are burning gold, and they don’t leave mine as I step back from him.
“Die for me? Die for me, I don’t want people dying for me. Is that meant to be a reason why I say yes to you? Why I should let you mark me, which by the way I still have no idea what that even is, or how you do it, but if it has anything to do with you peeing on me then my answer is no. When I woke up this morning I didn’t know anything about..... werewolves and now you're throwing all this at me? And its not only my life that I have to choose about, oh no, what I decide affects you too. How am I supposed to make sense of any of this?” I know I’m ranting, but I can’t help it. My mind is so full right now of a thousand questions and thoughts.
“Why do you think I fought this for so long Alexia? It's why I kept my distance from you, why I put myself through hell, this, this for us, is the last thing that I wanted, I...” He doesn’t get to finish.
“I’m the last thing that you wanted? Well I’m sorry that the stupid Goddess woman paired you with me, that you got stuck with me.” I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.
“No Alexia that’s not what I ...”
“Well I’ll make it easy for you. This whole, whole, whatever you call this, is crazy. I’m leaving.” I stomp toward the door, expecting him to stop me. Thankfully he doesn’t. I walk out into the hall and head toward the top of the stairs, I make my way down them, relieved that he is letting me go. I pass a few people near the bottom of the stairs and they bow their head to me, I just look at them in confusion. I spot the main front door and walk toward it with my head held high, suddenly remembering that all I’m wearing is an oversized t-shirt and no shoes. No time to be embarrassed now, I’m in a house full of wolves.
I open the door, only to have it slammed shut by a large hand over my head. Another hand goes around my waist and I’m pulled into a hard body. I don’t need to look who it is.
“Don’t leave.” He says roughly.
“I wont follow your orders. I’m not a member of your pack. I said I’m leaving, I wont stay where I’m not wanted” Footsteps to my left catch my attention and I look up to see Dom walking towards us with a smirk on his face.
“Leaving already Al..” A loud growling shuts him up and has him taking a step back, he holds his hands up as if in surrender. I can feel Logan’s chest vibrate and I know the growling is coming from him.
“Hey, I’m just joking Logan, you got to calm down dude. What’s going on?” I just glare at him, and Logan starts growling again, and despite my best efforts to remove his arm from around me, he pulls me even closer to him.
“None of your business.” Comes my short reply, Dom just looks from my face to Logan’s.
“Logan?” he questions, but all he gets in return is more growls.
“Huh, you are leaving already. Mind me asking why?” he asks, sounding a little shocked that I would actually be wanting to leave.
“Yes, I mind, and I want to go home. Tell him to let me go.” Logan’s arm gets impossibly tighter, any more and I won’t be able to breathe. Much to my annoyance Dom starts to chuckle to himself.
“What exactly about this situation do you find amusing?” To which he just smiles even more and Logan just growls even more, and I do mean actual growls. If I didn’t know that they were coming from him I would have thought there was an animal here with us. Well I suppose there is really.
“A few things actually... Logan, calm down. I’m just talking to her.” He stops talking to me and concentrates on the beast behind me.
“Are you crazy? How are you having a conversation with him, don’t tell me you can understand the growls? And stop smiling, this isn’t funny. Oh God, this is so not funny” I tell him.
“I can understand him, but that’s for another time, look what you really need to do here is calm your mate down. You are the only one who is going to be able to that, so unless you want him to shred this place apart I suggest you do something.”
“No, I’m not his... I can't be his... he doesn’t even want me to be.” I look up to where I can hear scratching and wood splintering and I can see that Logan’s hand on the door isn’t his normal hand anymore. There are actual claws where his nails should be and his skin has much more fur than I would like. I take a deep breath in and swallow.
“That’s what you think, that he doesn’t want you? Darling you have completely gotten the wrong idea here.” He shakes his head and looks down, contemplating what to say next.
“Look Logan I know you don’t want her to leave but turning all wolfy on her isn’t exactly helping matters here, you’re making it worse. Alex, I’m deadly serious here, you need to calm him down. Despite what you may think, trust me, you have obviously misunderstood something, but you are actually the only person right now who is going to be able to make him calm down”
“I don’t know how. I don’t know what you mean.” He looks at me with nothing but kindness in his eyes.
“You need to let him know that you aren’t going to walk out that door the minute he lets go of you. If there’s a door left of course. Give him chance to explain, he said something, you misunderstood, I get it, just give him a chance. Talk to him. Your touch calms him, like his does to you, but his wolfside is more in control right now. Wolves dont reason as well as humans do. You have to bring Logan back.” With that he walks slowly away and leaves us there.
A quick glance around shows me that the people I passed on the way down the stairs have all gone too. It’s just him and me.
Even though he is holding me against my will and refusing to let me go, I’m still not as scared of him as I probably should be. I don’t fully understand why but I know he wont hurt me. One look at the hand on my waist to the one on the door shows me that. They are two completely different looking hands. So I know he has some control, despite what Dom says, if the hand on my waist had claws like the hand on the door, I’m not too sure I’d be alive right now.
I slowly start to turn around in his tight embrace and put my hands on either side of his face. His eyes are glowing pure molten gold. I try to hold in my shock at seeing his mouth. His teeth have extended over his bottom lip and he has two pointy canines peaking out. This is why he said I should be scared of him.
“Logan, I’ll stay for now, I’ll give you a chance to explain yourself more. I ... I just freaked out.” He doesn’t say anything just stares into my eyes, then he lowers his head to my neck and inhales, I move one of my hands further around his neck and lightly stroke my fingers through his hair.
“Logan?” I say again after he doesn’t move or say anything after about a minute. He takes his hand from the door and he runs a normal human hand through my hair, he bends slightly and scoops me up bridal style making me gasp. I look into his face again, and with the way he is holding me our noses are almost touching, I can see that his teeth have returned to normal too, but his eyes are still gold although not glowing any more. He still doesn’t say anything as he makes his way back up stairs and into his room. As we walk into his room and I glance around I can see a few broken lamps and books on the floor, I’m guessing he got a little mad before he came after me.
He lays me down gently on his bed and places a small kiss on my forehead, then he turns and walks away out of his room without uttering a single word.
“What the hell just happened?” I ask myself quietly.
Logan’s POV
Left punch...
"She knows I’m a werewolf."
Right punch...
"I told her she’s my mate."
Left punch, kick...
"I almost marked Alexia, without her consent."
Right punch, kick...
"She almost left me."
Left punch, kick...
"She stayed."
Talking to no one but myself I grab onto the punching bag and try to control my breathing. I’ve been down here for two hours. Two whole hours since I left Alexia on my bed and walked out of my room. I put someone on guard just outside, I don’t mean her to be a prisoner, if she wants to leave she can, but I want to know about it, and make damn sure that she changes her mind.
River Falls: The Wolves Page 24