by Donna Hill
Ann Marie was paralyzed. She stared at her daughter as Raquel silently begged for her comfort.
From a place she didn’t know existed within her she felt a surge of compassion that took her from her seat to her daughter’s side. Without thought, her arms went around her daughter and drew her close. Suddenly, Raquel was no longer a grown woman out on her own, but the tiny baby she’d held and looked at in awe so many years ago. The baby who needed her for her survival. Ann Marie rocked her baby in her arms, stroked her hair, gently shushed her sobs.
“It’s going to be all right, baby. It will.” She rocked her some more. Her thoughts were so scattered. She didn’t want to imagine the worst. She held her daughter tighter. It was going to be fine. It had to be.
Chapter 23
“Here’s your pill,” Michael said, handing her the pain medicine and a glass of water.
“You’ve really got to stop fussing over me,” Barbara said, secretly tickled by all of Michael’s attention. She took the pill and washed it down with water. “Ever since I got home you’ve been waiting on me hand and foot. I’m really okay, you know.”
He sat down on the side of her bed. “I decided that when I got the news about the accident and then the surgery that I wasn’t going to waste one more moment of not giving you my all. Life is too short, precious. Besides, don’t you think it’s time someone took care of you for a change?”
She took his hand. “You know how much I appreciate everything, don’t you?”
“Sure.”
“But…I can’t help but feel guilty that you’ve put your life and possibly your career on the line for me.”
“Careers come and go, Barb. I could go out on that court, get hurt and be a cripple for the rest of my life. They could decide to bench me for the season, anything could happen. Besides, it’s time I started looking at life beyond the next jump shot. I want to start thinking about the future, a real future for me… for us.”
Her heart banged in her chest. “What are you saying?”
He grinned. “Don’t look so panicked. All I’m saying, for now, is that I want us to see where this relationship is going to take us. I want to be with you, be a real part of your life and you a part of mine. Is that cool with you?”
She smiled. The tension eased in her stomach. “It’s cool.”
“Good.” He stood. “Ready for lunch?”
She laughed. “Yes, but only if you let me help you fix it…for both of us.”
“On one condition.”
“What?” Her eyes widened.
Suddenly he bent down and scooped her up into his arms. “If you let me carry you, right next to my heart.” He pulled her close and kissed her long and slow.
Barbara’s heart swelled with joy as warmth spread through her body. How long had it been that she’d felt so utterly special, so cared for and cared about? Elizabeth was right. It was way past time that she allowed someone to take care of her. And so far, Michael was doing a damn good job.
Stephanie hit a few keys on her computer, preparing a release for her new client, when Conrad walked in unannounced and without knocking.
She looked up, frowned. “The door is there for a reason.”
He chuckled. “Having a bad day?”
“Not at all, but I’d prefer not to be disturbed. I’m busy.”
He ignored her and crossed the room, picking up an award that sat on her desk then putting it back down.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“Not now, Conrad.”
“I miss you. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
She stopped typing and pursed her lips. “What is it supposed to count for?”
“You’re being really difficult, Stephanie. I don’t like it when you’re difficult.”
“Look, Conrad…I can’t do this anymore.”
His expression hardened. “Do what?”
“This. This whatever this is between us.” She swallowed. “It’s over, done, I’m through.”
“I put you in this office. I gave you your big break, made sure you had the high-priced clients, the commissions. And you say you’re through.” His laugh was nasty. “You’re done when I say so.” He jabbed a finger at his chest. “Me, not you. Got it?” He stared at her for a long moment then swept her award off the desk with the back of his hand, sending it sailing across the room. “Be home tonight. Don’t make me use my key.” He walked out and slammed the door behind him.
Stephanie covered her face with her hands. Her whole body trembled. She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t let him touch her again. Ever. Then the image of her sister sitting in her room flashed in her head.
She could no longer let guilt hold her place. It had held her captive for more than a decade. She reached into her desk drawer and began pulling out files. Samantha, in her own way, knew that Stephanie loved her, even if she was unable to express it. And she could love her just as well in a place that she could afford. She had money saved and even after she made her contribution to the business, she would be okay for a little while.
Stephanie slipped a CD in the hard drive of her computer and began downloading files. A little more than a half hour later she was done.
She went into the supply room and got a box. Returning to her office, she packed her awards, files and her treasured Rolodex. She added the CDs then sealed up the box.
With determination beneath each footstep, she went to Conrad’s office and without knocking went inside.
Conrad smiled. “Changed your mind early?” Then he noticed the box and that she had on her coat. “What’s with the box?”
“I’m leaving.”
He shrugged. “Early day. Good, then you have plenty of time to get ready for me.”
“No. You don’t get it. I quit.”
He looked at her for a moment then started laughing. “You’re kidding. You can’t quit. What would you do?”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“Don’t be a fool. I’ll see to it that you never get another job in this town.”
“Do whatever you want, Conrad. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
With that, she walked out and she’d never felt so free.
Chapter 24
Barbara had been home from the hospital for three weeks and her doctor determined that it was fine for her to return to work. She’d gotten used to Michael being with her during the days and loving her up at night. To be truthful, she was getting used to this new life.
Michael looked at her from across the table. “My coach called yesterday evening.”
Barbara picked up her glass of orange juice and took a sip. “And?”
“He told me if I wasn’t back in Miami by next Monday, I’d be cut from the team.”
“Then you have to go back.” She set her glass down. “You are going back, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been thinking about it.”
“And?”
“I don’t want to leave you here.”
“I’m fine. I’m going back to work on Monday. I can’t let you screw up your career. Go back. I’ll be here when training is over.”
“Will you?” He pushed up from the table and went to the sink.
“What are you saying?”
“If I go back and get through training, once the season starts I’ll be traveling at least six months out of the year. When I’m not playing, or on a plane, I’m practicing. And when I’m not doing any of that, I’m beat.” He turned toward Barbara. “There won’t be any time for us. And we’re just getting started.”
“Mike, I’m not a little girl that needs to be constantly entertained. I have plenty to keep me busy. And with the mortgage being approved for the house, I’m going to have my hands full, as well.”
He leaned against the sink. “So where does that leave us?”
“It leaves us like a lot of couples—we work it out.”
He lowered his head a moment, chuckled lightly then looked up at her. “One thing I’ve learned in bei
ng with you on a daily basis is that you like familiarity, you like security, knowing how things are going to be. If I go back out on the road, that’s out of the question.”
Barbara got up from the table and came to him. She put her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.
“If it’s meant to work it will,” she said softly. “What we have is good, it’s wonderful, more than I could have ever expected.” She stepped back and looked up at him. “But as you said, I’m pragmatic, but also very realistic. You have a life, a career, and so do I. And both of us have to go on about the business of life. You care about me because of who I am and I’m attracted to you because of who you are. You want to give up something you love for someone you’ve known less than a year. I don’t want you to look back and regret it and resent me.”
“I hate it when you make sense.” He smiled. “It could be so easy to just be with you.”
“And boring. I’d give you another week and you’d be ready for restraints.” She paused a moment. “Go back. Do what you need to do. Don’t use us as a reason not to see if you still have what it takes.”
He pulled her close. “You’re the perfect reason to come back home, something to look forward to at the end of the road.”
“I like the sound of that…having something to look forward to.”
He slid his hands in between the folds of her robe and ran his fingers along the smooth surface of her back. She closed her eyes and sighed. He pressed against her.
“It’s been awhile,” he whispered in her ear.
“Too long,” she said, arching her back and lifting her pelvis to meet the slow undulations of his hips.
Michael pushed the robe off her shoulders, drawing in a deep breath as he looked at her. With a tenderness that made her cry out, he cupped her breasts, stroking the nipples until they rose and hardened beneath his fingertips. Barbara whimpered. His fingers grazed over the small scar from the incision beneath her right breast and they both silently gave a sigh of thanks. He unfastened the belt of Barbara’s robe and it fell to the floor.
“We’ve never done it on the kitchen table,” he said with a wicked look in his eyes.
Barbara giggled. “Wanna try?”
“Absolutely.” His hand reached between her legs. “Remember that scene with Jack Nicholson in The Postman Always Rings Twice?” He ran hot kisses along her neck as he eased her across the room, fingering her ever so gently. “When he took Jessica Lange right on the kitchen table?”
Her body pulsed. “Yes.” The backs of her thighs brushed up against the table an instant before he lifted her and set her atop the smooth surface.
He spread her thighs. “So do I.”
“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” Michael said when they pulled up at Kennedy Airport.
“Make sure that you do.” Barbara cupped his chin in her palm and pulled him toward her for a long slow kiss. Her tongue danced and teased his, committing the feel and taste to memory. He’d be gone for a month if everything worked out—a long time. She’d gotten used to his loving, morning, noon and night and any other time they could squeeze in. She’d come to expect it. She loved the security of knowing that he was there when she got up in the morning and then at the end of the day. It was almost like…being married again.
She eased away before foolish thoughts got the best of her. “You’re going to miss your plane,” she said against his mouth.
He took a deep breath and searched her eyes. “I’ll call you.”
She nodded. “Go, go.”
He got out then grabbed his bag from the back seat. “Drive safe,” he said.
“I will.”
He waved then turned and walked through the revolving doors into the terminal. Within moments he was swallowed up in the crowd and in that instant Barbara realized how much her life had changed. She’d grown complacent and “settled” in her life as a widow, with a job she enjoyed and was comfortable with. Then in a blink her life had taken on new dimensions, a new turn, the world was exciting again.
“You’re gonna have to move that car, ma’am,” an officer said, tapping on her window.
Barbara blinked, looked up. “Oh…sorry.” Slowly she pulled out into the exiting traffic.
As she merged with the cars, watching the signs and the scenery change, the lanes open, drivers and passengers eager to get to their destinations, she understood that the doors to her new life had fully opened. All she had to do was step across that threshold and explore all the possibilities.
Tonight would be the first night in weeks that she’d spent without Michael and a perfect time to have a girls’ night and catch up with her friends’ lives and make some plans for the house. The closing was in a week and after that it would be full steam ahead again.
A surge of excitement raced through her, giving her a shiver of anticipation. As soon as she got home, she’d give the ladies a call, whip up a menu and plan for a fun evening.
She turned on the radio and wouldn’t you know it, Chaka was belting out, “I’m Every Woman.” Barbara tossed her head back and laughed, tapped her fingers against the steering wheel and sang along with her. “Yeah, Chaka, it’s all in me!”
Chapter 25
Barbara checked and rechecked her apartment. Everything was spic and span. If she concentrated really hard she could still smell Michael’s scent in the air. She wondered if the girls would be able to, also.
She smiled as she set some snacks out on her grandmother’s table. Michael had called twice since he’d arrived in Miami, once when he landed and then when he reached his hotel. He’d promised to check on her in the morning once Barbara told him about the girls’ night. He’d laughed, telling her that he wished he could be there for the catch-up session, and wished her luck on the plans for the house.
Barbara hummed along with Regina Bell’s “If I Could,” as she set out the dip and filled the ice bucket. Thank goodness she was off all her medication. She could sure use a drink, and what better way to break back into the game but with her girls.
As usual, Ann Marie arrived first, followed by Elizabeth then Stephanie.
Everyone was talking and laughing at once as they dropped off their contributions for dinner.
“So where’s Mr. Young and Handsome?” Stephanie asked as she filled her small paper plate with shrimp cocktail then popped one in her mouth.
Barbara sat back and smiled, the kind of smile a woman has when she is totally satisfied. “He’s in Miami. Went back for training and to see if that knee is going to hold up for the new season.”
“I’m sure you’ve been giving it a good workout,” Ann Marie said.
“I try not to hurt the young boy.” Barbara laughed and the girls joined in.
“See what a little young lovin’ can do for ya,” Stephanie said, and winked at Barbara. “I quit my job,” she said in the next breath.
The trio looked in her direction.
“You did?” Elizabeth asked. “What did Conrad say?”
“Blew a fuse, but I don’t care and I told him as much. He said he’d make sure I never got another job in New York.”
“Can he really do that?” Barbara asked.
Stephanie shrugged. “Probably.”
“Why don’t you file a sexual harassment suit against him?” Barbara said.
Stephanie slowly shook her head, no. “They’d never believe me. And I’d probably only make bad matters worst. I want to put it behind me and move on.”
“So what are you going to do for money?” Ann Marie asked.
Stephanie flashed a look in her direction, trying to figure out if the question was borne of concern or another one of her digs.
“I have money saved. I’ll be all right.” She looked at Ann Marie. “Thanks for asking.”
“Steph, you are totally talented,” Barbara said. “You’ll be fine. Maybe it’s about time you started thinking about…doing your own thing.”
“Actually, I have been.” She looked from one face to the othe
r. “And I thought that my first project would be a full-out Pause for Men campaign, with all the bells and whistles.”
“Ooow, do you mean we might be famous? On TV, maybe Oprah?” Elizabeth squeaked, clapping her hands.
Stephanie laughed. “One thing I’ve learned as a publicist—” she wagged her finger “—never promise your clients fame, just that you’ll make them look as good as you possibly can and put their name and brand in front of every face that matters.”
“If anyone can do it, Stephanie can,” Ann Marie said, surprising everyone, but no one more than Stephanie.
“Do you really mean that?” Stephanie asked with a mixture of disbelief and awe.
Ann Marie reached across the table and took Stephanie’s hand. “Yes, I really mean it.”
Stephanie felt something give way inside, and the dam that she’d kept plugged up for so long burst open. Between tears she spilled out the whole story of her sister, Samantha, trapped in a body that refused to obey, a mind confined in some unreachable place. Her friends comforted her, made her smile, stiffened her spine and poured their faith into her.
“You’re who we need to put Pause for Men on the map,” Elizabeth said. “You start with us, and get bigger and bigger clients. You’ll be able to take care of Samantha.”
Stephanie sniffed hard and wiped her eyes and nose with a napkin that Ann Marie handed her. “And there’s no time like the present,” Ann Marie said. “Got your laptop?”
Stephanie nodded. “I don’t leave home without it,” she said, her smile growing stronger.
“So…let’s see what you have in that PR whiz head of yours,” Barbara said, pulling up her chair to her grandmother’s table.
Stephanie opened up her laptop and showed them the PR plan that she’d been working on since she’d walked out of her job. She stole a glance at Ann Marie, the one least likely to support her, and received a smile of encouragement as she explained the timetable. Maybe Ann Marie wasn’t such a bitch after all.
By the time the ladies left, it was well after midnight. But Barbara wasn’t in the least bit tired. Rather, she felt energized. Within the next few weeks renovations on the building would begin. They were planning to start with the roof, then the top floor. Elizabeth announced that she was selling her house and that she would move into the brownstone as a live-in caretaker as soon as the top-floor apartment was ready. It’s the perfect way to start my new life, she’d said without a hint of regret in her voice.