Back to him.
God help me. How can any of this ever be put right?
“You say I remind you of my mother.” Emma's teeth chattered as she spoke. “Well, you remind me of him. Of Alex...my father. It's incredible, uncanny. Your voice, your eyes. The way you look at me.” A sob rose in her throat. “I left him. I left...angry. He...I found out... God forgive me, I didn't even say goodbye.”
“Please try to calm yourself, my lady. Ask me your questions. I'll tell you what I can.”
Emma nodded, her eyes bright. “How do you know them? My parents?”
Alex's mind slid back over many years, yet it might have only been a few days. Bending the truth a little, he spoke.
“I met Alicia many years ago, in London. She looked exactly as you do now.” He lifted a hand, intent on brushing an errant strand of hair from her eyes. At the last moment, he stopped himself. “She was promised to Alexander, and they were married just before he left to serve in the Holy Land. As I recall, they had very little time together after the wedding.”
“So, you knew Alex...I mean, my father...before that?”
He smiled, gave in to the urge, and lifted the curl from her brow. “I've known Alexander for as long as I can remember.”
Emma frowned and looked at the ground, the loose curl once again tumbling over her face. “'Tis strange he never mentioned you.”
“Och, perhaps not that strange. Alexander Mathanach knew many people.”
She looked at him, calmer now. “Do you happen to know if he loved her?”
Alex bit the inside of his cheek until it bled. The pain felt mild compared to the savage wound that had just opened in his heart.
“Oh, aye, lass.” His voice dropped almost to a whisper. “You can take my word for it. Alexander Mathanach loved your mother more than anything in the world.”
Emma tightened her grip on Alex's arm and closed her eyes. He waited, knowing exactly what she was about to say, knowing he couldn't fully enlighten her with the answers she sought. At least, not yet. Not as Caleb. Still, perhaps he could lift some of the weight from her young shoulders.
Her eyes opened and she spoke the words he expected to hear.
“Are you aware he murdered her?”
Despite his anticipation of it, Emma's question hit him hard. He breathed deeply, thankful for Finn and Keir's emotional scaffold.
“I heard about Alicia's death and I know Alexander was involved.” He reached up and stroked her cheek. “But murder? Knowing Alexander as I do, I doubt him to be guilty of murder.”
“He told me he did it.” She swallowed, tears in her eyes and anguish in her voice. “And he also killed her...her...”
“Lover?” Alex finished, the word bitter on his tongue even after so many years. “I'm familiar with the story.”
“Aye, her lover. He murdered both of them.”
“He actually admitted to murder?”
Emma chewed on her lip and looked away. That small familiar action almost crushed Alex's resolve. All at once she was his child again, puzzling over something he'd asked, seeking the right answer before she spoke. His jaw tensed as he blinked away tears of his own.
“He said...he said they died at his hands.” She turned back to him, a different light playing in her eyes this time. Hope? “Aye, 'tis what he said. I'm sure of it. What else could it mean?”
“Only Alexander can tell you that. But he never actually said he murdered them?”
“Well, not exactly.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “But he didn't deny it, either. And there's something else I must tell you.”
He wiped away the tear with his thumb. “You don't have to tell me anything else, child.”
“Aye, I do.” She blinked at him, a soft tinge of colour brushing her cheeks. “I lied to you, Caleb.”
He frowned. “About what?”
“My father. Alexander isn't really my father. He's my guardian.”
“I already know that, my lady. You see, I knew Alex when –”
“Emma!”
They turned to see Stephen striding toward them, an anxious expression on his face. He reached Emma's side and pulled her into his arms, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
“Thank God. I was worried.” He fingered the cloak wrapped around Emma's shoulders and looked at Alex. “May I know why you brought the lady out here?”
Alex inclined his head. “We were merely conversing, my lord. I can assure you she's quite safe, other than being chilled by the damp air.”
“I asked Sir Caleb to walk with me, Stephen.” Emma smiled up at him. “He knew my mother, and he's known Alex for years. Isn't that strange?”
Stephen's eyes flicked briefly to Alex's sword. “Aye, 'tis a remarkable coincidence. Almost beyond belief. Do you know Alexander well, Sir Caleb?”
“Quite well, aye.”
“When did you last see him?”
Alex shrugged. “I don't recall exactly. Is it important, my lord?”
“Nay, it's not important.” Stephen looked up at the sky. “But was it recently?”
“Stephen.” Emma tugged at his sleeve. “Is anything wrong? Surely you don't doubt Caleb's word?”
Stephen turned to Emma and smiled. “Nay, my love. Nothing is wrong. I'm only concerned for your safety.” He looked at Alex. “Forgive me, Caleb. Recent events have made me very protective of my lady.”
“I understand,” Alex replied. “And I swear, as a knight of the realm, she has my full protection also.”
“Aye.” Stephen's gaze dropped to Alex's sword again. “I'm certain she does.” He turned back to Emma and ran his thumb along her jaw. “Sweetheart, Bee was looking for you. She said to meet her in the mews.”
Emma's eyes widened. “I'd forgotten. She's going to let me hold Arthur.”
Alex raised a brow. “Arthur?”
“Her falcon.” Emma removed the cloak and handed it to Alex. “Will you excuse me? Thank you, Caleb, for everything. You have given me much to think on. May we speak again later?”
“Whenever you wish, my lady.”
She turned to Stephen, rising up on her toes, her meaning obvious. He bent his head and kissed her.
“Be careful, little one,” he murmured, pushing back the same errant curl from her eyes. “Arthur has a sharp beak.”
She nodded, smiled, and hurried away.
Alex watched, gratified to see a brighter edge to her aura, and lightness in her step he had not noticed earlier.
“My thanks for raising Emma's spirits, Caleb.” Stephen's voice held a hint of amusement. “Though something tells me 'Caleb' is not your real name.”
A sudden gust of wind snatched at a handful of leaves, tossing them in the air. Stephen looked up again, searching the skies. Alex tensed as a door opened in his mind but, fascinated by what was happening, didn't attempt to resist the foreign intrusion.
He felt a burst of heat through the hilt of his sword and saw Stephen flinch. At that moment, Alex knew, without a grain of doubt, he was looking at a future Guardian. The young knight's connection to the stone was indisputable. His mind had managed to bypass two other Guardians, breach the shield and connect with Alex, albeit innocently.
Keir's investigation of Stephen's suitability would be nothing more than a formal exercise. How could they deny him after this?
For now, though, Alex decided to play the game, prolong the moment. He pushed Stephen's mind away and fixed the young man with a steady gaze. “You doubt my identity, my lord?”
Stephen shrugged and held out his hand. “Perhaps my instincts are wrong. May I see your sword? I'm curious about the leather on the hilt, why you have it wrapped in such a manner.”
Alex fingered the hilt. “Aye, you may see it if you wish. But I'm also curious to know, young knight, what you were searching for just now.”
“Young knight?” Stephen chuckled. “What happened to 'my lord'? I was looking for crows.”
“Crows?”
“Aye, crows.” He glanced around. “I
don't see any, which is strange, for if you are who I think you are, they tend to follow you about.”
Alex smiled. Game over. “Ah. Well in that case, lad, I'd hate to disappoint you.”
A shadow dropped from the sky, black, swift as an arrow. The draught from its wings kissed Stephen's hair as the crow flew past, cawing as it circled back up to the clouds.
Stephen ducked. “Alexander. God help me, I knew it. As He is my witness, I sensed it. But how the hell...?”
Alex patted Stephen's shoulder. “I'm more than impressed by your instincts, Stephen. I suppose I should explain.”
He paused as a misty curtain of rain descended, its soft whisper muffling the sounds of Thurston's bailey. He pulled his cloak around his shoulders and grimaced at the sky, wondering how to begin, where to begin and how much to say. Stephen's intense wide-eyed stare amused him.
“Get used to it, lad, and stop gawking.”
“Forgive me.” Stephen scratched his head. “I'd like to say it's good to see you, but it wouldn't be quite accurate, since it's not you I see. If I didn't already know of your strange talents and that wretched jewel, I'd swear it was the devil's work.”
Alex caressed the hilt of his sword. “'Tis the wretched jewel which betrayed me. Or at least, your consciousness of it. Let's get out of this rain.”
Stephen continued to examine Alex's face as they walked. “How is it done? Some kind of wizardry?”
“Nay. Just a manipulation of the stone's power. Nothing to fear.”
“Will you tell Emma the truth of it?”
“I will not and neither will you.”
“But you're deceiving her.”
“Aye, I am, and not without some guilt. But tell me, do you think I should reveal my identity? Given what she's learned about her parents, would she speak to me as she speaks to Caleb?” He sighed. “Stephen, I might not be her sire, but she's still my child. After everything she's been through, I feared for her mind. I had to do something.”
Stephen echoed Alex's sigh and looked up at the castle walls. “'Tis certain she has not found it easy at Thurston. I know she's missed you, missed her home. There have been times when I feared for her sanity.” He wiped the rain from his face. “Truthfully, Alex, I'm glad you're here.”
“But?” Alex paused on the steps. “I sense unspoken questions.”
“I'm curious why you lied about her father.” Stephen pushed the door open. “And did you really kill her parents?”
Alex shook his head. “Those questions are for Emma to ask. I can't...ah.” He halted mid-stride as pain wrapped around his heart.
Stephen frowned. “What is it? Are you ill?”
Alex gasped for breath. “In God's name, Keir, stop. 'Tis not what you think.”
The pain vanished as Keir stepped out from behind the door, his expression hard with anger. Stephen's hand drifted to his sword.
“Nay, lad.” Alex placed his hand atop Stephen's. “Believe me, it would not be a wise move.”
Keir's eyes narrowed as he regarded Alex. “I heard what he called you just now. I hope I'm mistaken in my assumption. A betrayal of the shield will not be forgiven.”
“You heard him correctly.” Alex met Keir's icy gaze. “But your assumption is wrong. There has been no betrayal.”
* * *
Despite the sombre light of a dreary autumn afternoon, the candles stayed unlit in Stephen's chamber. Their fragile flames were not needed, for an unearthly glow illuminated the room, pushing shadows deep into the corners. It emanated from the two Guardians who circled Stephen, studying him as wolves might study a newcomer to their pack.
But this newcomer had already stepped into their realm undetected, without invitation, and that left them with questions. Stephen's ability to invade Alex's mind was notable enough, but to do so while under the protection of two other Guardians and the shield shocked them, disturbed them.
No mortal had ever done such a thing before.
Finn's humour had vanished, replaced by a silent, serious scrutiny. And despite Alex's assurance that Stephen could be trusted, Keir's suspicions continued to leach into the atmosphere. The stone absorbed, magnified, and reflected all the circling emotions, tightening the air with ribbons of invisible tension.
Alex knew Stephen sensed the danger facing them, for the young man stood silent and wary, yet to Alex's gratification, apparently fearless.
“You're certain you gave him no indication of who you were?” The gleam in Keir's eyes intensified as he spoke, his gaze still fixed on Stephen's face.
“None.” Alex looped his thumbs into his sword belt, realizing with some shame he was enjoying the bemused reaction of his powerful companions. “He entered my mind unbidden.”
“But I sensed nothing. Finn sensed nothing.” Keir stopped pacing and looked at Alex. “Can you explain that?”
Alex shrugged. “Nay, other than to suggest his abilities are stronger than I thought.”
Finn also examined Stephen, inspecting him, studying him. “Tell us what you felt, young man. What you sensed. How did you know it was Alexander who stood before you?”
“Truthfully, I didn't know. At least, not at first. Of course, the Scottish accent reminded me of Alex.” Stephen gestured to Alex's sword. “But I sensed the stone as I stood with Christophe in the Great Hall. 'Twas unmistakable to me, for it's a sensation unlike any other. Then I noticed the binding on the hilt, and wondered at it. When I saw Caleb outside with Emma I just knew he was Alex, even though I found it hard to believe.”
“Were you aware of my thoughts?” Alex asked. “Did you realize where your mind was?”
Stephen pondered for a moment, then shook his head. “I cannot say I was fully aware of them. Although I've noticed whenever you're nearby my awareness of everything heightens, sharpens. Thoughts arrive unbidden and take me by surprise.”
Alex chuckled. “Aye. They often take me by surprise too.”
Keir scowled. “This is very serious, Guardian. Do you know what this breach implies?”
“It implies my instincts were correct, my lord.” Alex suppressed a flutter of irritation at Keir's tone. “Stephen merits the Circle's consideration, as I suggested.”
“Perhaps,” Keir acknowledged. “Yet I still question the ease with which he saw through the shield.”
“And slipped past our defenses,” Finn added.
Stephen tensed. “'Twas not Alex's failure. He never betrayed you or the presence of the stone. Nor can I actually see through this...this shield he hides behind. Even now, 'tis Caleb's face upon his shoulders. I just knew –”
“You don't have to defend me, lad,” Alex interrupted, his irritation growing. “They have no cause to question my integrity. They're deciding whether or not to trust you.”
“Or kill you.” Keir's voice sliced through the charged air like the arc of an executioner's blade.
Alex's hand gripped the hilt of his sword, his breath catching at the ominous words. Stephen's brow creased as he stared at Keir, but he said nothing.
“God's blood, Keir.” Finn muttered under his breath. “You have such a charming way with words.”
“There will be no killing.” Alex moved toward Stephen. “I swear the lad is no threat.”
Stephen continued to stare at Keir, who gasped. “What...what the hell...?” He lifted a hand to his temple.
Stephen smiled. “I applaud your effort to intimidate me, my lord, but it won't work. I know what you want from me, and I'm quite willing to allow your observations. However, I would appreciate a little more respect while you decide upon my worth as a future Guardian.”
Keir uttered a curse and stepped back. Alex looked at the floor, fighting an urge to laugh. Finn failed in his effort. His shout of laughter filled the room, shattering the tension.
“Well, Keir, there's your answer,” He stepped forward and gripped Keir's shoulder. “May I suggest the first thing you teach our young knight is how to control his remarkable abilities. Reading minds without permission
is very impolite. 'Tis also dangerous. Heaven help him if he stumbles into my thoughts.”
Stephen visibly relaxed as a grin spread over his face. “Why do I get the feeling I should be warning the women of Thurston about you?”
Finn's eyes twinkled as he shrugged. “Go ahead. They won't listen. They're all smitten as soon as they lay eyes on me.”
Keir cleared his throat, his face now expressing reluctant admiration. “When you've both finished, there are things to discuss. Stephen, it would appear your talents do merit our sincere investigation. I'll need to spend time with you. Despite what has happened here today, you still have to face the Circle. There's much to learn.”
Stephen nodded. “Aye. Well, we have a week. Maybe ten days. Is that long enough for this Circle of yours?”
Finn and Keir exchanged amused glances.
Alex gave a wry smile. “It takes years, lad. I'm still learning what this jewel can do. Today is an example of that.”
“What's happening in a week?” Keir asked.
“I must leave for London.” Stephen reached into his shirt and pulled out the letter. “Henry is looking for me. He wants a report on my findings.”
“On the stone, you mean,” said Finn. “Alex told us of your...mission.”
“Aye, I'm not happy about lying to my king. But I understand why I must.”
“I shall travel with you,” announced Keir. “'Tis the perfect opportunity to learn more of your potential as a Guardian.”
“And to make sure I don't betray you to His Grace,” Stephen added. “I don't need to read your mind to understand that.”
Keir smiled. “You're learning already.”
“Does Emma know you're leaving?” Alex asked. “You're not taking her with you, surely.”
“Nay and nay.” Stephen sighed. “Leaving her will be difficult for her and me. 'Tis another reason I'm glad you're here.”
“Speaking of Emma,” Alex tapped a finger on his temple. “Remember, once we leave this room, I am Caleb again. She must know nothing of this discussion.”
Chapter Nineteen
Stephen stifled a yawn, squinting at the early morning light that poked through gaps in the shutters. He had slept little, his turbulent mind giving him no rest. His meeting with the Guardians had excited and overwhelmed him, yet left him with more questions than answers. The combination of euphoria and fear had eased, but his thoughts still raced and his skin tingled with anticipation.
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