“There’s no use pretending, Jane. You have a very expressive face. I saw the moment you realized it was me.”
I backed away from her.
“I was hoping I could convince you it was Cherri.”
“But what happens when Candace remembers it was you who hit her over the head?”
“I didn’t hit her hard enough, obviously,” she said. “I’m on my way to pay her a little visit. Maybe I’ll smother her with a pillow or inject something into her IV. Besides, even if I fail in my next attempt, no one’s going to believe someone who’s already lost their memory.”
She pulled out a gun and trained it on me. I noticed it had a silencer.
The room spun, and I thought I would faint. Damon had said he would check on me later. I needed to keep her talking. I hoped Damon would hurry.
“So, have you really been planning to murder your husband for the last ten years?”
She looked as though I had paid her a compliment. “Of course,” she said, smiling widely. “He was a pig of a man with a terrible temper. It was unbearable being married to him, so when I took out the life insurance policy, I figured it needed to be for a long time, so suspicion wouldn’t fall on me.”
One thing had puzzled me. “But why did you put the vial of Botox in the waiter’s pocket?” I asked her. “Were you trying to frame him?”
Her expression darkened. “No! I’m not that stupid! It was so the police would know Marcus was poisoned with Botox.”
“But how did that help you?” I asked, genuinely puzzled.
She waved the gun a little and I broke into a cold sweat. “I didn’t want the medical examiner to take too long trying to figure out what happened to Ted. I wanted them to know he was poisoned, and with Botox as soon a possible. That way the medical examiner would sign off on his body and the insurance claim could be processed even faster.”
“Are insurance claims paid out on murder victims?” I asked her.
She looked surprised. “Yes, they are! Just not to the murderer, obviously, which is exactly why I planned it for ten years. I’ve already lodged a claim. And just in the nick of time too, because Marcus ran the business into the ground. I made sure the businesses were only in his name,” she said, “so I’m not responsible for any of his debts.”
“Were you trying to frame anyone for the murder?” I asked her.
“No,” she said. “In crime, it’s better to keep it simple. I just didn’t want the police to suspect me. I only invented the story about Marcus blackmailing Ted because the police were getting too close. I’ve played the part of a loving wife for decades now, so when the police asked around, everyone would say said we never quarrelled. And of course we didn’t quarrel, because I put on a good act. I was biding my time and now I’ll have plenty of money and none of his debts. It was worth the wait.”
I thought she was quite unbalanced. “But how did you discover Candace was suspicious of you?”
“It was that idiot Cherri,” she said. “She told me she suspected Candace and Rick as they were friends with Dr. Davidson. I told her a private investigator had come to see me. She told me she had hired the private investigator and that the woman was your roommate. I was at Candace’s house earlier and I told her Cherri had hired a private investigator. We got to talking, and then Candace brought up something that happened when I was in junior high. My best friend stole my boyfriend from me. I was devastated, so I got her back.”
“You took revenge ten years later,” I said.
She nodded. “I told you, I’m a patient woman. I waited until she married, and then I had an affair with her husband who happened to be a private investigator. That’s why the subject came up, you see. I could tell Candace was suspicious. I pretended to leave Candace’s house, but parked my car out back. I sneaked back into the house and heard her speaking with you on the phone.”
“And that’s when you hit her with the candlestick?” I said.
She nodded. “And I hid in another room and waited for you to come so I could finish you off too. I wanted to make it look like the two of you had a struggle, only when you got here, you didn’t seem to know anything and Candace had lost her memory.”
“But why didn’t you kill her?” I asked her.
“I thought I did,” she said. “That woman is tough. I hit her really hard and she went out cold, so I thought she was dead.”
“Where did you get the Botox?”
“I stole it from the nurse at Candace’s Botox parties.”
She advanced toward me, a menacing look on her face. As she raised her gun, she almost tripped over Mr. Crumbles. She aimed a kick at him, but he was too fast for her.
I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for the inevitable. So this was how it was going to end. Everything seemed to stand still.
I heard a gunshot but felt no pain. I opened my eyes.
Melissa was lying face down on the ground trying to catch her breath. Mr. Crumbles was sitting on her back, looking pleased with himself. The gun was lying near her hand, so I wasted no time picking it up.
It took me a moment to realize what had happened. In my hurry over Candace’s call, I had not moved the cat activity tree from its position adjacent to the pole. Mr. Crumbles had climbed on the top of the pole and had done what he usually did—swinging down and letting go, the momentum flinging him across the room. Melissa had been standing too close and he had hit her hard, right in the small of the back, and had winded her.
I aimed the gun at her with one hand, and then called Detective McCloud with the other.
Chapter 20
The following morning, I was at the pond on my sister’s farm. Rebecca had insisted we take the morning off to have a picnic. She said nothing was more important than family, and she was concerned about my close call.
Matilda, Eleanor, Rebecca, and I were laughing at the antics of the ducklings. It was a beautiful sunny day, with a gentle breeze forming little ripples on the pond. I sighed with relief that everything had turned out all right.
Cherri and Ted had gone back to New York. I can’t say I was sorry, although I did feel a little sorry for Cherri. Candace was recovering nicely and her husband, Rick, had called to thank me.
“All things work together for good to those who love God,” Rebecca quoted, and I shook my finger at her.
“As you well know, I was Amish once and I know that you’d be in trouble for showing off the fact you can recite Scripture. You’re lucky none of us here are Amish.”
Rebecca chuckled. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called Scripture Smart.”
“Jane, have you had a chance to look at the papers Ted wanted you to sign?” Eleanor asked me.
“I’d completely forgotten about them!” I exclaimed. “Never mind, I’ll make an appointment with my lawyer this week.”
“Is it time to eat?” Matilda said, rubbing her rumbling stomach. Now that I thought about it, I was hungry too.
Rebecca made to move, but I waved her back down.
“You’re supposed to be taking it easy and yet you’ve brought food,” I admonished her.
Rebecca opened her picnic basket to reveal a Shoo-fly pie, an apple pie, as well as fried chicken, peppered deviled eggs, and cornbread salad. “The ladies have been bringing me lots of food,” she said with a smile.
“I made some whoopie pies,” I told her. “I brought the chocolate beet cake as well. We haven’t had a chance to eat it yet.” I opened my basket to reveal whoopie pies in various flavors: chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, peanut butter, pumpkin, oatmeal, and maple.
Matilda looked up from spreading a picnic blanket in front of us. “We’ll certainly eat well today.”
I watched Rebecca’s buggy horse grazing alongside Ephraim’s buggy horse in the field on the other side of the pond. They were grazing contentedly, occasionally swishing their tails against an offending fly.
“I can’t believe that cat saved you again,” Rebecca said. “I baked him some chicken treats as a reward
. Don’t let me forget to give them to you, Eleanor.”
Eleanor thanked her. “I’ll pop back to the car and fetch my picnic basket,” she said. “I did a lot of baking last night for the picnic. I even attempted a funeral pie.”
Matilda gasped. “Honestly, Eleanor! How could you make a funeral pie after Jane had such a close call?”
Rebecca and I laughed. Eleanor shot Matilda a look before hurrying to the car. She presently returned, struggling under the weight of the picnic basket.
“You did do a lot of baking,” Rebecca said.
She nodded. “Yes, I hope you like it.” The three of us leaned over the basket to see what goodies Eleanor had baked.
She lifted off the lid. We all gasped.
There, lying in the picnic basket fast asleep, was none other than Mr. Crumbles.
“How did he get in there?” I said.
“He ate most of the cakes!” Matilda exclaimed. “And he’s squashed that sponge cake flat!”
Rebecca just sat there, her jaw wide open.
“What are we going to do with him while we have the picnic?” Matilda said.
“He can sleep on the grass,” Eleanor said. “He’s too full and sleepy to run away. Naughty Mr. Crumbles.” However, she said it in such a gentle tone I don’t think Mr. Crumbles would have minded, even if he had been awake.
Eleanor picked him up and deposited him on the grass beside us. He barely moved. “He’s sleeping well because he’s eaten too much,” Matilda said.
“Mr. Crumbles can do whatever he likes as far as I’m concerned,” I said. “I’ll even get him another pole if he wants one.” I took one look at Rebecca’s face and then quickly added, “That was a joke. Anyway, I’m going to buy him a lifetime supply of treats.”
Mr. Crumbles opened one eye briefly but other than that, did not move a muscle.
Soon all of us, with the exception of Mr. Crumbles who was still fast asleep, were relaxing on the soft grass, drinking homemade lemonade and eating a veritable feast.
“This is lovely,” I said. “Thanks for suggesting it, Rebecca.”
“I’m just glad you’re all right,” she said.
All of a sudden I heard a car and craned my neck to see who it was. To my surprise, it was Damon. I instinctively smoothed down my hair as he strolled toward us.
I muttered to the others, “It’s Detective McCloud. I wonder what he’s doing here? I hope no one else has been murdered.” My heart fluttered.
Matilda and Eleanor laughed as if I had said something funny.
As he approached, he nodded to Matilda and she nodded back. Hmm, so Matilda had told him we were there.
“I was just passing by when I saw your car, Jane,” he said, smiling. I’m sure he didn’t expect me to believe it.
“It’s good to see you,” I said shyly. “Would you like to share our picnic?”
“I’d love to, but I’m on duty today, more’s the pity.”
I could see Rebecca frowning. I figured she was trying to make out his words. I didn’t need to strain to understand him. By now I was growing accustomed to his Scottish accent.
“You look much happier than you looked last night,” he said. Damon and Detective Stirling had come to arrest Melissa, and Damon had stayed back to take my witness statement.
“You’re probably tired of taking witness statements from me,” I said with a laugh.
Damon looked as though he was about to say something but hesitated. “Yes, you’re always getting yourself into trouble. There’s nothing I can do about that, but at least I can make sure you stay dry.” With that, he handed me an umbrella.
It wasn’t a standard dark umbrella. Rather, it was yellow and black with a thin red stripe.
“An umbrella? For me?” I said, my cheeks burning.
“Yes, as you obviously don’t have one,” Damon said. “It’s the McCloud tartan, and it has your name on it, so there won’t be any danger of it getting stolen.”
“Thank you, thank you so much,” I stammered.
“Are you sure you couldn’t stay for a piece of chocolate beet cake?” Matilda pressed him. “Jane made it.”
“If you put it like that,” he said with a smile. He sat next to me, so close our shoulders were almost touching.
The five of us sat in companionable silence, enjoying the meal, and looking out over the beautiful pond and the grass gently blowing in the breeze.
I had left my old life behind. I had been through an ordeal and had come out the other side happier than ever. I reflected that while storms will invariably come, they always do pass and are replaced by sunshine, and there’s always a rainbow on the other side.
Amish Recipe
Amish Funeral Pie
INGREDIENTS
2 cups raisins
2 cups water
finely grated zest of 1 large orange
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 egg, beaten
3 tablespoons butter
METHOD
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
Combine raisins, water, orange zest and juice in a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
Combine 3/4 cup granulated sugar, cornstarch, allspice, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a small bowl.
Stir slowly into raisin mixture. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened, about 2 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Stir in lemon juice and walnuts.
PASTRY
INGREDIENTS
3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup Crisco or butter
1 large egg
1/3 cup cold water
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
Combine the flour and salt.
METHOD
Add the Crisco or butter. Rub in.
Add egg, water, and apple cider vinegar.
Roll out half the dough to a 1/8-inch thickness onto a floured surface.
Fit the dough into a 9 inch pie pan.
Pour filling into pie shell.
Trim the edges to an overhang. Seal edges and crimp the edges with a fork.
Roll out remaining pastry and place over pie. Seal edges.
Cut several slashes into top of pie. Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle sugar on top.
Bake until golden, 20 - 25 minutes.
Amish Recipe
Amish Red Beet Chocolate Cake
INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup dutch cocoa powder
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup maple syrup
1 cup dark chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups beet, cooked and pureed
3 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
GANACHE
3/4 cup thin cream
1 cup dark chocolate chips
1 tablespoon maple syrup
METHOD
Cover beets with water in a pot. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat. Simmer 30 minutes until tender. Drain and puree until smooth.
Coat a 9 inch diameter cake pan. Preheat oven to 350°F.
Mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
Combine sugar, beaten eggs, and oil in a large bowl. Stir well.
Blend in the pureed beets, melted chocolate, and vanilla.
Gradually add the dry ingredients to the beet mixture, beating well.
Pour into the prepared pan. Bake 40 to 45 minutes.
Cool in the pan. Cover and let stand overnight.
GANACHE
Combine thin c
ream, chocolate chips, and maple syrup in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir over a low to medium heat for 5 minutes or until mixture is glossy. Make sure chocolate is melted.
Leave to cool until the mixture thickens slightly (5-10 minutes). Pour over the cake.
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