That was exactly what he wanted. Instead, he felt like a complete and utter bastard for what he needed to do next.
He’d give her a little while. Maybe finish his beer. She could try and avoid him if she wanted to, but there was no way he was going to give her that luxury.
Not now.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
No. No. No. No. No. That was not supposed to have happened. Caitlin clutched her head as she paced the bathroom. What the hell had she been thinking? She dragged her hands down to her mouth as she faced the windows. And how the hell had it happened so quickly? Sleep with him, yes, but not less than fifteen minutes after resolving to.
She sat down on the steps and rested her forehead on her clenched knuckles.
She’d lost it. She’d totally lost it. She cursed in frustration, still aching and throbbing and tingling, every inch of her skin alive from his touch. Her stomach flipped at the recollection of how easily he had got her on the table, just like he had back in the interrogation room. She hadn’t even thought about how easy it would have been for him to bite her too. It could have taken her hours to recover from that. Hours she couldn’t afford to lose.
Damn it.
She wondered if her walking away had made it worse. If she should have just stayed there and shrugged it off as if it was nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing. She’d just had sex with a vampire. Worse than that, a vampire she had craved since she’d first laid eyes on him. She’d had sex with Kane Malloy. And he’d just proved himself to be everything she’d imagined him to be and more.
But even that hadn’t been enough.
She impatiently wiped away an irritating tear of embarrassment. He’d proved it – she was useless. He was flawless and still she couldn’t be sated. She truly was defunct. She’d given herself to him – and for what? To have him laugh at her ineptness? Or to smear his masculinity? Because if he didn’t already hate her before, he’d hate her even more now.
She’d proven to him just how unbreakable she was – even more unbreakable than even she knew. If he didn’t need her, he may as well just kill her.
Her plan had backfired in more ways than one. A plan she’d deluded herself into thinking could actually work. Just like she’d deluded herself into believing she could abstain from him long enough to get what she wanted.
She couldn’t go back out there. The way she was feeling, she didn’t want to go back out there ever again.
She’d had the most gorgeous male she’d ever come across, and she’d just lain there, too tense and frigid even for the basics.
She snapped her attention to the door as the handle turned.
Kane pushed the door all the way open and leaned against the doorway with a nonchalance that made what they’d just done all the more painful. He took a mouthful of beer before lowering his arm to his side. ‘Are you okay?’
She looked back ahead. ‘Fine.’
‘You don’t look fine.’
‘Really,’ she said, meeting his gaze, unable to conceal her glower. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Then why are you looking at me like you could kill me?’ He lifted his bottle back to his lips, concealing the hint of a smile that had crept there.
‘I wouldn’t have to look at you at all if you gave me some privacy.’
He lowered his bottle again and pulled away from the doorframe. He placed his bottle on the corner of the sink and sauntered over to her. He sat on the floor directly in front of her and leaned back on braced arms, his legs splayed.
She curled her toes into the carpeted step as she refused to look away. She would not let her gaze wander. She would not let herself be distracted by the honed perfection displayed in front of her.
But rather than being aggravated by her defiance, the glint in Kane’s eyes told her he was amused by it. She averted her gaze and focused on the patter of the rain at the window rather than the excruciating silence between them.
At first she thought him touching her toes was an accident. But as she looked back at him, she saw from his hint of a smile that his caress was very much intentional.
‘You need to think less and play more,’ he said.
She knew she should have withdrawn her foot up onto the next step out of his reach, but she didn’t. ‘Whereas you play games all the time, don’t you, Kane?’
‘I nearly lost control out there. You do know that, don’t you?’
She warily met his gaze.
He slid his big toe into the gap next to hers, the rest of his toes covering hers. ‘What happened on that table, that spark, it doesn’t happen often.’
Her heart skipped a beat. ‘I didn’t feel a spark.’
‘No? I don’t remember the last time I came that quick or that powerfully.’
Her pulse raced. She was looking for the mocking in his eyes, but they were devoid of it. She’d assumed he’d got impatient. Had sensed he was getting nowhere so had sated himself to get it over with quickly. Even now heat scorched her face at the humiliation. He’d probably felt nothing the entire time, nothing but triumph for finally getting her to concede. And now he was trying to make up for it.
She withdrew her foot from his, lifting both feet onto the next step up as she tucked her dress beneath her thighs.
‘You put yourself under too much pressure,’ he added.
‘Maybe I just didn’t enjoy it.’
‘Did I not misbehave enough for you? Because you like me playing the bad vampire, don’t you? It makes you feel safe.’
She stared at him aghast, his words striking too deep a chord. Apprehension squeezed as a damp heat renewed between her legs.
‘Ironic,’ he added. ‘But true. It terrifies you how much I excite you, how easily you gave yourself to me out there, how that heart of yours isn’t quite as impenetrable as you think.’
‘This has nothing to do with my heart.’
‘For a girl like you, when it comes to sex, it’s always about your heart.’
‘So you hoped you’d get me swooning? You thought it would be that easy? You were good, Kane, but obviously you weren’t that good.’
His smile resonated in his stunning navy eyes, but also revealed a hint of those lethal incisors. ‘Ouch. Stake me through the heart, why don’t you.’
‘Trust me, if the opportunity arose…’
He laughed. It was the first time she’d ever heard him laugh. It was the first time she’d ever seen him laugh. It was fleeting, but intoxicating.
‘Maybe I should try again,’ he said, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t take it so easy this time.’
Her heart lunged. ‘Once was enough.’
‘No. Clearly you think I failed.’
‘I never said that. You just weren’t as good as I’d thought you’d be.’
‘You’re just full of compliments, aren’t you, Caitlin?’
‘I’m sure you’ll get over it.’
A smile escaped then dissipated. ‘I warned you these games could get darker.’
‘And I keep telling you I’m not fragile.’
‘You’re more fragile than you can possibly conceive, little girl.’
She stared as deep into his eyes as she dared. This was him – the real Kane seeping out again. The Kane that would remind her how stupid she’d been. The Kane she couldn’t possibly feel anything for. ‘I’m guessing you’ve worked out you’re out of your depth thinking you can break a shadow reader. It’ll take more than a handsome face and a few well-rehearsed moves.’
‘You can stop that soul ripper getting what it wants, Caitlin. You just need to make a choice. You can keep blocking me, keep that self-control and keep fighting me for the next two days until it comes and takes exactly what it wants all over again, or you can give in to me. Let me get there first. And then you can look that soul ripper in the eyes and tell it to go fuck itself. You might not have your soul, but at least you’ll be alive. You win and I win. All you have to do is learn to let go.’
The insult of how easy he made it sound was too m
uch to bear. ‘Is this what you meant back in the interrogation room about me giving you my soul willingly? You making me an offer I can’t refuse? Or am I to take it as an ultimatum? Well, you can go to hell, Kane.’ Her heart pounded, but she wasn’t going to be the first to look away. Not this time. ‘I’ll take my chances with the soul ripper before I give you what you want.’
As soon as she’d said it, she knew she’d made a horrible mistake.
His gaze was as immoveable as hers as the rain smashed against the window, his eyes flashing darkly with unnerving sobriety. She caught her breath and braced herself as he stood up. But he didn’t look at her as he lifted his bottle back off the sink and strolled back out of the bathroom.
She couldn’t move. Her heart pounded in her ears. Every instinct, everything she knew about him, told her this silence meant trouble.
Big trouble.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Caitlin stood from the steps, but remained rooted to the spot as she stared warily at the open bathroom door. She wrapped her arm around her waist and chewed on her thumbnail.
She heard music, music that became louder. Louder because Kane was turning it up until she could hear every word of the pounding rock song. The room beyond became dark as he switched off the wall light, only the flashing glow of the television igniting the space. Curiosity urged her to step up to the threshold, but nerves made her legs leaden.
She sat back down, clutched the step either side of her, not daring take her attention off the gaping doorway.
But he didn’t come back.
Minutes seemed to pass, but she was sure it must have been less. She tucked her hair behind her ears and then clenched her hands in her lap. Whatever he was up to, he was taking his time.
The smatters of rain intensified and poured like a mini-waterfall from clogged guttering above. The breeze was picking up, whistling through the small gaps in the windows. She should have felt cold, and she did to the touch. But panic made her perspire, a thin coating already lining her palms.
If there had been a lock on the door she would have run over and slammed it shut, secured herself inside until she’d at least got a grip.
It was all part of his games – leaving her there suffering and pondering, imagining the worse.
Just how bad a vampire do you imagine me to be?
She scowled at the door. He couldn’t do this to her – manipulate her like this. Because that’s what he was doing by walking out of there and saying nothing. By leaving her alone in the silence. He was treating her like a petulant child, so petulant was subsequently what she felt. He was punishing her. Or he just didn’t care.
He couldn’t have given up. Kane didn’t give up on anything. Her chest clenched. He could have tried harder. He could have tried again. He could have persisted a little. If only he’d known how painfully close she had been. How he had made her feel.
Her throat constricted. She was upset. She had to acknowledge it. She was upset because Kane had walked out on her. She should have heaved a sigh of relief, been grateful for some time alone. But all she wanted to do was go out there and find him. Even arguing with him would be better than being sat there in isolation wondering if it was all over – if that was it.
Because it might have been.
Her heart thudded. He might have taken her at her word. Her failure on the table might have convinced him it was a waste of his time and energy pursuing her any further. He might have already been making plans to find another shadow reader. Maybe she wasn’t as integral to his plans after all. He might even have already left to go and find one.
Another shadow reader to spend time with. Another shadow reader to taunt, tease and seduce.
The pang in her heart wasn’t panic. It was something even more terrifying.
She stood up despite the tremor in her thighs. She couldn’t just sit here as he made decisions about her fate. She couldn’t let him discard her like she was nothing.
She tentatively crossed to the door.
There were no obvious signs of him. But the door to the outer room was halfway open. Her heart skipped a beat. He was still around. He hadn’t left her. He’d probably gone back to do some work on his car – to take his frustrations out on that. And if he’d resolved to kill her, he clearly wasn’t intending to act on it yet.
She needed to talk to him, not that she knew what she’d say. More than that, she needed to see him. She needed to look him in the eyes to see if he’d given up on her.
The music resounded in her ears, the increased darkness softening the room around her as she headed over to the door.
She stopped at the gap. She couldn’t see anything in the shadows beyond, not from the angle she was stood at, so she opened the door a little further and stepped up to the threshold.
She froze. Her mouth dropped.
He was pounding into the punchbag, every move swift, precise and controlled. He was in nothing but a pair of low-riding sweatpants that showed off his sculpted, lithe perfection in all its physical glory as he punched and kicked. Even partially masked by the shadows, he looked phenomenal in action.
Her heart skipped a beat, her mouth dry, a rush of heat flooding her lower abdomen.
Frustrated, angry, bored, routine – whatever his reasons for punishing the bag, she knew it was an image she would never recover from, even if her life did only extend to a few more hours.
How she managed to cross the room towards him, she had no idea. But she did manage it, even if she didn’t remember the journey. She leaned back against his car, facing him, her hands at the small of her back.
He didn’t stop straight away, but when he did he faced her fully. His usually undetectable breathing was more frequent and heavier. A sheen coated his skin, a few traces of which he wiped off his forehead with the back of his hand. He unravelled the white tape from around his left hand, something he clearly used to protect his knuckles. His eyes were terrifyingly dark as they met hers.
Right then, right there, she could have thrown herself at him whatever the consequences. The sense of liberation was intoxicating.
She should have been frightened, but those eyes – dark and intense and unyielding as they were – also glinted with a self-possession that had a lure all of its own.
As he walked across the few feet towards her, she couldn’t speak, her toes digging into the cold, rough concrete.
His appraisal of her was swift, almost cold.
She bit back a breath.
It took no effort on his part to spin her around and pin her up against the car.
She was instantly back in the shadows of the corridor, his hard body taking her by surprise, giving her heart the biggest jolt to life she had ever known. The spark, even back then, telling her she was playing a far more dangerous game than she’d been willing to accept.
This time he didn’t say anything as he kicked her legs apart, slammed her hands onto the bonnet of the car.
She could hardly breath, uncertain whether it was from fear or arousal. But this could be it – the moment he ended it. One fatal bite, one twist of her neck, and it would be all over. But all she could feel was that capable body; all she could see was those strong, masculine hands holding hers; all she could smell was that musky, woody scent. And close to her ear, she heard those subtle, infrequent breaths that reminded her he was far from human.
‘What took you so long?’ he asked softly against her ear.
Words failed her as he forced her wrists together, encircling them with just one hand, keeping them on the roof of the car.
‘Remind me, how long have you been hunting me, Caitlin?’
All she could think of was his lips – those beautiful, cool, masculine lips against her ear. She tersely licked her own, but her mouth was still too dry. ‘Tracking. Not hunting.’
‘Semantics.’ He raked her hair back from her neck, lowered his mouth to her ear again. ‘That’s all it’s been for years, isn’t it? Me and the soul ripper consuming your every thought, every moti
vation, every waking moment. You’ve hunted me for so long that you think you know me. But you don’t know me. You don’t know me at all. But I know you. I’ve been watching you for a long time. Wanting you. Wanting to break you. And now I know how. I’ve worked out that to make you lose control, I’ve got to take that control. Completely.’
Her stomach flipped, her heart lunged. He’d asked her how bad a vampire she imagined him to be. Right then, she didn’t care. She knew his idea of bad and her idea of bad were probably two completely different things, but something told her she was about to find out how different.
He moved his hips just an inch to drag the back of her dress up to bunch at the small of her back.
Caitlin flinched and instinctively tried to free her hands, but his slap on the exposed side of her behind made her still.
‘Don’t move,’ he warned. He nipped her lightly on the ear, his cool thumb gliding firmly over the curve of exposed flesh. ‘Careful now, I can hear that heart pumping. There’s only so much temptation a vampire can take.’
She bit into her bottom lip as he pressed her hard against the car again, the metal cold against the heat of her thighs and sex through the thin cotton of her dress. ‘What are you going to do?’ she asked, the tension in tone unnerving her, but not as much as the undertones of arousal seeping through with it.
He tugged down his sweatpants, pressed his erection flat against the cleft between her buttocks as he closed the gap again, his chest hard and tight against the back. ‘What do you think I’m going to do?’
She raked her nails against the roof and braced herself. ‘Don’t you hurt me,’ she warned breathily, surprised it wasn’t more of a plea. But some sixth sense told her he had no intention of hurting her, that it was nothing about causing her pain. Not entirely.
But sometimes he forgot. Sometimes he forgot just how fragile humans are compared to third-species mates.
‘But Caitlin,’ he whispered against her ear, his rasp igniting every nerve ending. He lowered himself slightly to direct his erection up between her legs. Pressing the tip against her sex, his lips hovered over her ear again. ‘I thought you said you weren’t fragile.’
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