Blood Shadows

by Lindsay J. Pryor

  He blinked droplets from his lashes before following her to the splintered stone archway.

  Inside, she leaned back against the paint-flaked wall of the left side of the porch, her slightly damp hair already tousling, her beautiful milky-coffee eyes dark in the ungenerous light. But he could still read them, the same as he could read the rest of her. She was prepared for confrontation. When she’d seen him across the street, she was not going to run and hide. She was not going to back down. And those wary eyes were guarded and prepared. She was frightened, but she wasn’t frightened to face those fears.

  He leaned against the side of the archway furthest away from her, his back to the darkness. ‘You should already be heading to some distant locale by now.’

  ‘Is that what you were hoping?’

  He exhaled curtly, a simultaneous stream of smoke escaping his nose and mouth. He looked to the cracked black-and-white-tiled floor as he ran his tongue swiftly down his incisor before looking back at her. ‘You’re playing a dangerous game, Caitlin.’

  ‘Why? Is this where it ends? Have you followed me to finish it, Kane?’

  ‘You’re asking me that after leading me into a dark recess?’

  ‘As opposed to sitting and waiting for you to come for me? You know I don’t work like that.’

  ‘Do you remember the first thing I said to you?’

  ‘A little girl doing a man’s job. How can I forget?’

  ‘Bound to end in tears,’ he added, before throwing his cigarette to the floor. He exhaled a final steady stream of smoke as he crushed and extinguished the cigarette beneath his boot before stepping into the porch.

  He sensed her tense though she was trying hard to contain it.

  He faced her square on. ‘Take your jacket and scarf off.’

  She frowned contemplatively for a moment but complied. She knew he wanted to be sure she had nothing hidden. No surprises. No hemlock in gun handles. She unravelled her scarf and slipped her jacket over her slender shoulders before laying them down on the worn wooden bench beside her.

  He purposely and tauntingly raked her slowly with his gaze up from her delicate feet to her tentative eyes. She was breathing a little faster, shallower, her pulse already racing. He lingered on her exposed collarbone, her smooth, now flawless throat, her lips already plumping with arousal. She still wanted him. Despite her every instinct probably telling her how deeply wrong it was, her heart was well and truly his.

  ‘I hear you did good in that courtroom, Caitlin.’

  ‘What they did was wrong, but that doesn’t make me proud of what I’ve done. I just hope that once all this dies down, people see what I did as proof that not all agents are corrupt. The majority of us are trying to do good for this community. I still believe in the TSCD and I’ll continue to stand by that.’

  ‘Dogmatic as ever,’ he said, glancing at her lips again, parted and ready for him to graze.

  ‘They’re still going to want to talk to you, Kane.’

  ‘And they can still go and fuck themselves.’

  ‘You should have stood up and told them what Xavier tried to do all those years.’

  ‘That hearing was about Arana, not me. They had their key witnesses.’

  ‘One of whom is now no use to you. One who still fervently advocates the establishment you despise.’

  He knew she was referring to her. Her tone was challenging but resolute. ‘Seemingly so,’ he said.

  He stepped up to her. Heard her catch her breath. She shuddered a little – partly apprehension, partly the gentle breeze leaking in from outside. Grasping the midway point on the skirt of her dress, he slowly bunched up the thick woven cotton until her thighs were exposed to the cool night air. He slipped his hands underneath, finding the bare flesh above the lace tops of her hold-ups. It was the only place she had left to hide anything. His ready erection throbbed, uncomfortably confined in his jeans. He slid his hand up over her warm and tender silken curves before reaching the lace band of her knickers.

  Caitlin didn’t flinch this time, but he detected the subtle tremor in her lower lip. Something he now knew, from studying her so closely the past few days, was a sign of competing emotions. She didn’t not want this, but she also had all the reasons why she shouldn’t contending inside her.

  He slowly and purposefully slid her delicate, white lace knickers down until they fell to the floor.

  She subtly stepped out of them, not daring to take her eyes off his as he pressed a hand to the wall beside her head. He leaned inches away from her lips as he gazed deep into her eyes, detected her held breath. ‘So, Caitlin, are you still out to convict me?’

  He could feel her heart pounding. ‘You admitted yourself that you’ve done a lot of bad things, Kane.’

  He smiled. ‘And I’ll continue to do a lot of bad things. I’m a very bad vampire, Caitlin.’

  ‘Then I have no choice, do I?’

  ‘So detain me,’ he said as he leaned in to kiss her neck, her skin warm and sweet against his tongue as he licked along her artery. She wore the same perfume – the perfume that had become indicative of her. Her shallow breaths were as enticing as they had been when he’d first slammed her against the wall back in that corridor. Only now they were breaths that were all too familiar – breaths he knew for a fact were the heady mix of fear and arousal. He brushed his lips over her ear and whispered, ‘I dare you.’

  Hands flat against the wall, she didn’t move other than to shudder again. ‘Then do something,’ she said, a detectable lack of self-assurance in her voice.

  He looked back into her eyes. He gave her a hint of a smile. ‘Are you trying to set me up, Caitlin?’

  ‘Are you planning to kill me?’

  ‘And why would I do that?’

  ‘Loose ends. Why wouldn’t you?’ He heard the uncertainty of her swallow. ‘No one’s expecting me home. No one even cares. What’s to stop you?’

  The sadness in her tone pierced him deep.

  ‘Would you rather I kill you?’ he asked, reading deep into her eyes – the loneliness, the loss, the confusion.

  ‘What kind of question is that?’

  ‘Things are about to get nasty, Caitlin. The TSCD aren’t happy with you. The lycans aren’t happy. Jask’s not impressed you’re still breathing and he’s going to want to do something about that. The pride of his clan is at stake. So is his pride.’

  ‘He told me part of your deal with him was you finishing me.’

  ‘It was. The only reason I could negotiate him being witness in that courtroom was to start the downfall of your human empire.’

  ‘Is this the start of the prophecies? What Xavier was talking about?’

  ‘No. They’re very different.’

  ‘But they’re coming?’

  ‘Yes, Caitlin, they’re coming. Maybe sooner than we think. And you’re going to be right in the firing line doing what you do. Like I said, things are going to get very nasty, very soon. So I’ll ask you again, would you rather I kill you?’

  ‘You said was.’

  He frowned. ‘What?’

  ‘You said finishing me was part of the deal. Not is.’

  ‘You changed the goalposts when you saved my life in the cellar. I repaid it by letting you kill the soul ripper.’

  ‘So now we’re even. But the truth is, nothing will ever even the score with you, will it, Kane? Only I’m fed up of waiting for the inevitable. I’ve had it for seven years. Waiting for something to come for me. I’m not doing it anymore.’

  ‘So you thought you’d lead me down some dark, isolated place to finish this. Give yourself that sense of control, right? Defy me in my own territory. Prove you’re not afraid of me.’

  ‘I don’t hide. From anyone. From anything. You should know that by now.’

  ‘And you’ve got a stronger sense of survival than anyone else I know. So what the fuck are you really up to, Caitlin?’

  The confrontation was still emanating from her eyes but it was masked by a hesitation sh
e couldn’t disguise. She lowered her gaze only for a moment before looking back at him. ‘I want to know if you meant it. What you said. I want to know if you feel enough. For me.’

  Her honesty startled him. He expected a little more banter or at least a few more taunts. Caitlin laying her soul bare that soon was not something he had prepared for. The vulnerability in her eyes was crushing. ‘Enough for what?’

  ‘To not do this. When you have every opportunity to. I’ve made it easy for you. As easy as it gets.’

  He brushed his lips across her ear, trying to calm the surge inside him at the challenge she was so boldly laying in front of him. ‘I like to hunt, remember? Maybe I don’t want it this way. Maybe I’ll just walk away.’

  ‘Maybe you will. And maybe you’ll never find me again if you do.’

  The very prospect of it wrenched deep inside. He pulled back to look in her eyes again. For the first time, he couldn’t read them. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the uncertainty. He didn’t like her cornering him – controlling the situation. She was subtle about it but she was good. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. She was out for the truth from him and she was going to get it – whatever it took.

  He couldn’t afford to feel like this. Have a girl who had got so far under his skin he hadn’t already let her drained, ravished body slip to the dark, dank porch floor. But he took his time because he liked his time with her. Hell, he loved his time with her. Every minute and every second of studying those intense coffee eyes, of reading those beautiful, tempting lips. Of wondering what she’d say next, what she’d do next. Of experiencing the wealth of emotions she lived with every day, emotions that spilled out so many times, unwillingly, in front of him. Of the way she made him feel – alive, real, validating his existence.

  And as the rain beat down outside the porch, exacerbating their isolation and the opportunity for him to do whatever he wanted to her – everything his vampire instincts, his advanced survival mechanisms and his reasoning told him to do – he knew this was going to be harder than he’d ever imagined.

  But he knew that if he didn’t end it, everything changed there and then. She’d become his responsibility. He either killed her or he protected her. And that meant from then on. But, unlike the past seven years when it had been purely about preserving her for his plans, when he could be detached and calculated, this was personal. This would create conflict for him. Complications for him. His reputation would be questioned along with his loyalties, both within his species and others, not least with the lycans.

  And he’d have someone to worry about again. Someone to care about. Someone others would want to use to get to him.

  It was Arana all over again – the last time he had dared to love.

  By loving Caitlin he was putting her at risk. He was putting them both at risk. Risk with consequences he wasn’t sure he could handle again. So love her though he may – deeply, painfully, irrevocably – he needed to walk away. He needed to let her disappear. But she wouldn’t. Tenacious, stubborn, dogmatic Caitlin would only get herself into trouble elsewhere, if she resolved to leave at all. He’d put nothing past her. That unpredictability would never change. And that’s why he had no choice.

  ‘Is that what you want?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to love you?’

  Her eyes flared slightly, the intimacy of the question, the probing for her to expose her inner feelings to him, only fuelling her obvious insecurity.

  He cupped her face, the warmth of her soft, flawless skin radiating through his fingers, her supple trembling lips pliable beneath his thumb as he graced them with gentle, sweeping pressure.

  ‘I don’t want to be lonely anymore, Kane. Neither do you. We can do something about that.’

  ‘And that’s why you want me? To fill a gap?’

  ‘It’s more than that.’

  ‘And you deserve more than damaged goods.’

  ‘We’re both damaged goods.’

  He turned his hand around to run the back of it down her cheek and throat. ‘You’ve only seen a fraction of me, Caitlin.’

  ‘I’m not scared of you anymore.’

  He exhaled a curt breath. ‘Maybe I should do something about that. Maybe I should do the decent thing and let you know what you’re contemplating.’

  ‘If every word you uttered was a lie, I don’t care anymore. Do whatever you want.’

  She meant it. Those eyes he could barely look into in those passing moments meant every single word.

  By instinct, he unbuttoned his jeans. From the way her eyes flared a little, even she hadn’t expected him to act that quick. She’d clearly expected more conversation, but he was done with conversation. He was done with her burrowing into his mind, making him face things he didn’t want to face.

  He grabbed the backs of her thighs, lifted her in one easy move, spread her thighs around him and slammed her against the paint-flaked wall.

  She snatched back a breath and locked gazes with him as he caught her hands, pinned them to the wall above her head with one of his, before gripping her hip with the other, keeping her contained.

  ‘Say no to me now,’ he said. ‘And walk away. Walk away from all of this. Or once I’m back inside you, I will own you.’

  ‘Are you threatening me, Kane Malloy?’ she asked with a detectable breathlessness, her gaze not flinching from his.

  His erection strained through his open jeans. He tugged down his shorts. ‘I prefer to call it foreplay, Caitlin Parish. But whatever suits.’

  ‘Hurt me if it makes you feel better,’ she said, almost inaudibly. ‘If it helps you feel safe.’

  He frowned, the challenge in her eyes, her perceptiveness, stunning him to both stillness and silence.

  ‘But I’ll have my answer,’ she added.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘You’re scared of loving me. Just as I’m scared of loving you. And you hurting me now will only prove that.’

  She dared to delve that deep. She dared to look him in the eyes. He found her sex easily, pushed an inch into her ready heat, into her slickness, the temptation to thrust almost too much to bear. And as she swallowed hard and clenched her hands, he gritted his teeth behind closed lips, forcing himself to keep it contained for just a few seconds longer. But there was no panic in her eyes, no second thoughts.

  She was his for the taking. This was her, without any fear of the consequences. She wanted him. Wanted him for exactly who he was. No compromise.

  But one thrust would damn her. Could damn them both. Because the act would be more than sexual. For a long time it had been more than sexual. He felt too much, too deep for it to be anything other than fused with love.

  He needed to end it. One lethal bite. Or one swift painless twist of her neck. A simple selfless act within his control.

  ‘I love you, Kane,’ she whispered, her gaze locked on his. ‘I don’t want to, but I do. I want you to know that.’

  She may as well have put her hand on his heart and jump-started it from the power and quiet resolve behind her eyes.

  Words that saved him. Words that condemned him.

  She held his gaze expectantly and he knew she was on the verge of breaking.

  He withdrew and lowered her to the floor. He pulled up his shorts and jeans and refastened them as he stepped away, stared back out into the darkness. He leaned against the arch as he watched the rain bounce on the cobbles.

  ‘Why does this have to be so complicated?’ he asked, partly to himself. ‘Why couldn’t you just walk away and get yourself a decent life somewhere?’

  ‘Is that really what you want? For me to leave?’

  He glanced across his shoulder at where she still stood against the wall. He looked back out at the cobbles. ‘For your sake, yes.’

  ‘And for your sake?’

  ‘I’m trying to protect you.’

  ‘Why?’

  Just because he’d said it once didn’t mean he was going to say it again. Letting those words sli
p the first time had been hard enough. He’d shocked even himself at how easily they had spilled out, Caitlin staring at him so defiantly, potentially ruining his plans, the soul ripper breathing down their necks. It had hardly been the most romantic of moments. But back in that warehouse he’d had no choice – here he did.

  ‘You have no idea of the danger you’re putting yourself in,’ he said.

  ‘I told you: I can look after myself. And I can make my own decisions. I know what’s good for me. You’re good for me. And I’m good for you. We’re good together.’

  Her footsteps were light and hesitant as she stepped out from his blind spot.

  ‘Tell me if you were planning to kill me,’ she said, her tone wary.

  ‘Now who’s talking in the past tense? Very presumptuous.’

  ‘Were you?’

  He pulled himself from his leaning position and turned to face her. ‘Better than letting someone else do it for me.’

  He could see from her startled expression that it wasn’t the response she was wanting or expecting. But she’d demanded honesty. She’d cornered him for the truth and the truth was what he’d give her.

  She took a guarded step back despite the resolution in her eyes. Her shock was obvious; it poured from her as transparently as her love for him. And what he did to deserve the love of someone so warm, so passionate, so giving and so beautiful both inside and out as Caitlin, he could never, and probably would never, understand.

  ‘You wanted the truth,’ he declared with a shrug.

  Those vulnerable coffee eyes narrowed slightly. ‘You love me that much?’

  That certainly wasn’t the response he was expecting. He stared at her dumbfounded. ‘Only you would see it that way.’

  ‘See you for what you are, you mean?’

  He laughed tersely as he lowered his gaze before looking back at her, but his solemnity quickly mirrored hers.

  She drew level, tilted her head up to his despite her three-inch heels, and kissed him gently, tenderly on the lips.

  It was a fleeting but sincere kiss. It was all it took. After every intimate moment they’d shared, that one simple kiss told him he could no more survive without her than she could without him. Losing her wasn’t an option. Losing her had never been an option.