She swallowed, biting down on her lip.
“That last morning, I wanted you to stay with all my heart but I tried to find a way to make it sound like something else.” He shook his head angrily. “The truth is, you answer every single need I could ever have. I love every part of you. All of you. I love you completely, and always will. And I’m still terrified of what that means. Of what the flipside to loving someone so damned much is, but I cannot live without you, Maddie. I can’t.”
It was too much. Her eyes filled with tears and her breath was shallow. “But you said –,”
“I was a fool. Such a fool.” He shook his head and she felt the strength of his emotion. She felt the sincerity of his words. “I didn’t really understand my own heart until you left. And even then, I pretended not to know what was going on, nor why I was feeling as though I wanted to shout at everyone, all the time. But it was talking to Yaya on Christmas Eve that made me realise.”
She was silent, watchful, waiting, so he continued.
“She was talking about my grandfather, and how hard it’s been since he died. And then she said that she’d do it all again. That loss was a part of life, of love, and her deep sense of loss was proof of how much she’d loved and been loved. And I realised.”
“You realised?”
“That one way or another, we lose the people we love. I pushed you away because I somehow thought I could control that, that I could limit how much it would hurt, but it didn’t. And I risked losing a lifetime with the woman I love because I was too terrified to admit how I feel, even to myself, certainly to you.”
A small sob emerged from her lips. She couldn’t speak.
“So I’m telling you now with no idea if even you, with your beautiful kind heart and your goodness and grace, will be able to forgive me for what I put you through. I have no idea if you still want me as you did then. But I’m standing here offering myself to you in every way and I’m begging you not to send me away yet. Just to think and see if maybe you can forget the last few months.”
She bit down on her lower lip, emotions exploding through her. “I can’t.”
His expression darkened. His eyes swept shut, and a breath hissed from between his teeth.
“I thought I’d known pain, but walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done Nico.” She lifted a hand, tucking her hair behind her ear then remembering she was wearing the paper crown. She dislodged it carefully, folding it between fingertips that were numb.
“I know you didn’t want to hurt me, but leaving you, leaving Dante and Ondechiara…I haven’t felt the same. All these last few months have taught me are that I was right about you.”
His eyes pierced hers. Something flared in their depths.
“I loved you. I loved you in a way I’d never felt for anyone, ever. It broke me in two, and yet I’m stronger than I’ve ever been as well, because you changed me. Because of you, pieces of me that I thought were lost came back together. I don’t want to forget the last few months because they’re something else I’ve weathered and I’m proud of that.” She tilted her chin, angling her face to his. “I didn’t weaken. I didn’t call you even when I thought about doing it a thousand times over. I didn’t show up at Ondechiara and beg you to take me back for that one last week, no matter how tempted I was. I know how strong I am, Nico and I don’t want to forget that.”
“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known.” The words rang with pride. “And I will never let you forget it.” He reached for her free hand, lacing their fingers together. “Before I met you, I thought I had everything I could ever want in life. You showed me that without you, there is nothing. I am so in love with you, Maddie, and if you let me, I’ll show you that, I’ll show you how I feel.”
She dipped her head forward, her heart in her throat, her head ringing from the thousands of things she was thinking and wanting.
“Michael taught me not to give second chances,” she said softly, the words falling like snow to their feet. She didn’t see his reaction; she didn’t see the way his face looked tortured, as though he’d been knifed in the side.
“I promised I wouldn’t hurt you and I did. I did that, and I’m sorry. Cara, I’m so sorry, but I’m not Michael. When I say ‘sorry’, I mean it. When I tell you I will spend my lifetime making sure I never hurt you again, making sure you are deliriously happy, I mean it. You are my reason for all things, Maddie Gray.”
Her heart turned over in her chest. She lifted a finger and pressed it to his lips. “I wasn’t finished.”
His lips were warm. She almost groaned, but didn’t.
“You taught me to trust my instincts. You taught me that great things can happen when you take a chance. And most of all, you already did show me – every single day we were together – in myriad ways, that you are nothing like Michael, and never could be.” She moved her hand so she could cup his cheek, her eyes showing her love, her fingertips light on his stubbled skin. “You taught me to trust again, and you taught me to love even if you didn’t realise it, and I will always, always love you for that, Nico.”
His groan was so soft, and then a moment later his head was dropping, his lips searching for hers, his kiss a desperate, hungry possession.
“Ti amo,” he pressed the words into her mouth and she laughed, nodding, lifting her hands and wrapping her fingers into his hair so the paper crown fell loose and blew down the street without her realising it.
“I know.” And she did. With complete and utter certainty, she knew that he loved her, and that he always would. She smiled against his lips, and there, in the middle of a street, miles from her place and his, Maddie felt as though she’d truly come home. And it really was where the heart was.
Epilogue
“HE HAD A NOSE ring, and a patch, and he limped.”
“Really?” Maddie met Nico’s eyes over Jack’s head, her smile twinkling, digging dimples deep into her cheeks.
“Oh, yes. And he said, ‘arghhh, walk the plank!’”
“And did you?”
“Does it look like I did?” Jack returned with a grin and an attempt at a wink. “I told him to walk the plank himself. I grabbed his sword and held it at his back until he fell into the sea and was eaten by a shark.”
“Oh, dear.” Maddie laughed, tousling Jack’s hair.
“Jack?” Elodie’s voice carried across Villa Fortune. “Come and help light the candles.”
He pushed up from his chair, no longer Bucanneer Jack, now, just regular Jack Montebello. “Gotta go. The twins need me.”
Nico took the seat beside Maddie, stretching an arm around her shoulders. “He adores you.”
“It’s mutual.”
“I could almost be jealous, if his feelings weren’t so completely understandable.”
She blinked at him, her face a study of mock innocence. “Nico Montebello, are you saying you adore me too?”
He dropped his head closer, his nose brushing hers. “Haven’t I said it often enough for you to know by now?”
She considered that, trying to think if there was a morning in the seven months they’d been together when he hadn’t woken her with kisses and declarations of love. “I’m not sure,” she murmured, snuggling in closer to his side.
“Then I’ll just have to work even harder, Maddie Montebello.”
“Mmmm.” Two months after their wedding, she was still getting used to her new name.
“I suppose we should get over there.” He nodded towards the pool where a table had been set up for the twins’ first birthday. Yaya was sitting at a chair in the shade, comfortable and smiling surrounded by all of her family – it was a family that seemed to be growing bigger by the day, and despite the fact Gianfelice had passed away years earlier, Nico felt his presence when they were all together.
The twins were running around the table and as they watched, Fiero scooped down and picked one up, lifting him onto his shoulders.
“You’re a natural with Jack,” Nico said,
reaching for Maddie’s hand.
And though she’d decided she’d wait a little longer, she found she couldn’t. The moment felt so perfect, so right, that she leaned closer and smiled at him serenely. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Anyone who sees you with him – or the twins, for that matter – would agree.”
“It’s good practice.”
“For becoming a pirate?”
Her smile grew. “That, or parenthood.”
It took him a moment to respond. He simply stared at her for several beats and then his own smile stretched, broad and irrepressible. “Are you saying we’re going to be parents?”
“It’s early,” she rushed, but nodded and laughed. “I only found out last week-,”
“Last week!”
“I wanted to wait until I knew it was safe.”
He shook his head. “It is. You are. This is the most wonderful news I’ve ever heard.”
“Then I’m glad to give it to you.”
And she was. For the rest of her life, all she wanted to focus on was the happiness they brought to each other – and the love they would give to their child.
THE END
Following is an excerpt from Book 3 in The Montebellos, LOVING THE ENEMY (Massimo and Alessia’s story). This sexy second-chance romance will be released in early 2020 and is available for 99c pre-order until then.
Dear Reader
Telling this story and doing Maddie’s journey justice is something I took very seriously. I felt a real burden to authentically communicate her experience, without dwelling on it unnecessarily in the story’s frame for fear of being seen to exploit a very real trauma. In Australia, as with much of the world, we are experiencing an epidemic of domestic violence and deaths related to this. In doing my research for this book, one thing was resoundingly clear to me: the signs aren’t easy to identify. Not for the abused, at the start of the relationship, and not for onlookers, who are friends with the abuser, the abused, and don’t see beyond the veneer that’s projected.
If themes in this book are personally triggering, or if you find yourself in a situation of domestic abuse, please know you’re not alone and there is a better tomorrow out there for you.
To learn more about this crippling epidemic, have a look at the WHO’s website. And if you’re in a domestic abuse situation and need help, please contact a local Domestic Violence support service.
In Australia: 1800 737 732
In England: 0808 2000 247
In America: 1800 799 7233
Beyond this theme, I hope you enjoyed Maddie and Nico’s story. Thank you for reading.
Love, Clare. x
Excerpt - Loving the Enemy
The Montebellos Book Three
Prologue
Six months ago, Villa Fortune.
HE WANTED TO CRUSH something in the palm of his hands. Fury zipped through his body, disbelief a taste of adrenaline in his mouth.
She was getting married.
Alessia – his ex-wife. And she hadn’t even thought to tell him. Was he really surprised by that? It wasn’t as though their marriage had ended on good terms. Her infidelity had made sure of that. It was the one thing he’d never forgive, and she must have known he’d feel that way
They were like strangers now.
Except they weren’t.
He’d known her almost all of her life. He’d watched her grow up. He’d married her.
Something shifted inside of him, like the blade of a knife, and anger exploded through him. He paced across the room, grabbing a scotch bottle from the bar as though it had personally wronged him in some way.
Alessia Amando was his.
The thought assaulted him and he rejected it immediately. One person couldn’t belong to another, it was true, and yet despite that, they had belonged to each other. For one year they’d been man and wife, and he’d married her with every intention of their marriage lasting a lifetime.
He should have known better. She was immature, young and naïve. What had he expected? That she’d had the maturity to realise what she was doing?
He ground his teeth together, moving towards the windows that overlooked the ocean. It was too dark to make out any detail now, but he knew it was there, an enormous chasm, wild and untamed.
He rarely thought of Alessia. He’d trained himself not to. He didn’t like to focus on his mistakes, and she’d been a big one. From thinking that he actually cared about her, to believing he could make her happy, to hoping to control a desire that had threatened to burn him alive.
And now? She was getting married.
He continued to stare at the ocean, those words chasing themselves around and around his head. She was getting married? She was marrying someone else? Alessia would become another man’s wife?
He stared at the ocean and another thought beat its way through the rush of his mind, demanding to be heard.
She was marrying someone else?
Over his dead body.
Chapter 1
The Four Seasons, Prague.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE you doing here?” Surely she was hallucinating? Alessia pressed a hand out behind her, surreptitiously feeling for the wall, needing some kind of hard support in the face of her ex-husband’s appearance here, on what should have been her honeymoon.
She was stupid to have come, but given the fact the hotel wouldn’t refund the booking and she felt like she needed to get away from Italy and yet another failure in her personal life, this had seemed like the best option.
But staring up into Massimo Montebello’s darkly-glittering eyes, she felt awash with a thousand and one emotions. Damn it, he was so handsome, and she hated him for that, just as she had towards the end of their marriage. It was easy to hate him, given how he’d broken her heart.
“Alessia.” Her name on his lips inspired the same reaction as always. Her stomach squeezed, her arms lifted with goosebumps, her blood began to pump faster and harder. But she refused to feel those things. She refused to feel anything for this man.
“What are you doing here?” She repeated, the words dripping in ice.
He lifted a brow. “Is that really how you intend to greet one of your oldest friends?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Is that what we are?”
“I’ve known you since you were five years old,” he reminded her, and her heart looped, because she remembered the first time she’d been to Villa Fortune. The noise, the happiness, the love.
Her gut twisted; she looked over his shoulder.
“Well, you don’t know me anymore.”
“Have a drink with me.”
She jerked her gaze back to his, something zipping down her spine. Temptation. Adrenaline. Anger. “No.”
His laugh was soft, and it reached out and caressed her, the husky tones reaching inside her body and stirring her to new depths of curiosity. Was it a coincidence that he was here?
She doubted that.
“How did you know I’d be in Prague?”
For a moment, he was silent, as though he were contemplating evading the question. But then he shrugged his shoulders, as though it were no big deal. “Maddie mentioned it.”
Alessia swept her eyes shut, a hint of betrayal biting at her. She’d told Maddie Montebello what she was planning because they’d become friends. It hadn’t even occurred to Alessia that the information would filter through to Max.
“I wish she hadn’t.”
Another laugh. “Would you prefer to lick your wounds in private?”
“Is that why you’re here? To lick my wounds?” She demanded hotly, and then her cheeks flushed as she heard the words and the unintentional double entendre he might choose to perceive in them.
Sure enough, he leaned closer, his mouth just an inch from her ear so his words brushed over her cheek. “I’m here to lick whatever you want me to.”
It was like being sparked with a live voltage of electricity. Years of repressed desire, of wanting, sexuality unsatisfied, burst through her.
This man she’d married who’d denied her any kind of physical intimacy during their short marriage was what? Making a pass at her now?
“Yeah, well, you’re about five years too late,” she muttered, pushing a hand to his chest and pushing him away, needing distance before she did something really stupid and gave into temptation.
And she was so tempted. She’d adored Max for almost as long as she’d known him. There were six Montebellos and she loved them all but Max had always been different. He was the oldest, the leader. They were all dynamic and powerful but even then, when Max spoke, the others listened.
She dropped her head forward, needing to blot all of that out. He’d broken her heart during their marriage. Not once but again and again and again until it was in tiny little shreds, and it was broken in a way that would never be healed. He’d broken her heart when he’d refused to make love to her, though they’d come so close on their wedding night. He’d put an end to that, leaving her frustrated and confused, worried she’d done something wrong. After that, it had gone downhill. He’d treated her like a sister, kind, attentive, but oh so careful not to touch her, not to kiss her anywhere but on the cheek.
And she’d come to hate him.
She’d come to hate his cool distance, his immaculate control of his body. So she’d done what she could – sleeping naked, joining him in the shower, anything to tempt him, to remind him she was a flesh and blood woman.
Billionaire Brides: An Anthology Page 64