by Aiden Bates
5
A Step Forward, However Hesitant, is Still Progress
Truly, getting Sam’s things out of the apartment was the hardest bit—after Sam had stepped out of the apartment, Dustin had seemingly lost his energy, and had simply lied there as the group of friends followed Sam out. Adam was fairly certain that he heard the bastard cry as he shut the door, but honestly, he couldn’t care less; as far as he was concerned, Dustin had stopped being his friend—and worthy of anyone’s time or pity—the moment he tried to put hands on Sam.
Now what mattered was what was going to come after—Sam was going to have to remove his mark, and it was probably by way of a knife. It wouldn’t be anything lethal, merely a slash through the two points where the canines broke the skin, but it would be the emotional drop that he would have to face later on, after the bond was physically severed, that worried Adam the most. Knowing that Sam would likely wait until they were home, after the others had left and been sufficiently fed as they were promised. It would make the most sense—as close as the group was, when a mark is removed, it is a private affair, and Adam would be surprised if he was even going to know precisely when Sam did it. And he didn’t need to know, really—he was going to support Sam in any way that he could regardless, so the when and how of Sam removing his mark was none of his business unless Sam decided that it was.
Even as they piled back in the van and Adam led their caravan of vehicles back to his house, he couldn’t stop stealing glances over to Sam, sitting in the passenger seat. The Omega seemed almost impossibly still in his seat, save for his fingers gently running over the mark on his neck, back and forth, over and over as he stared straight ahead of him. Adam’s heart ached at the sight, knowing that reality was beginning to settle in and that it would settle very poorly considering the circumstances. All Adam could hope for at that point was that, through all the grief and hurt that Sam would go through, that he would at least not have to mire through it all alone.
The ride back home was a short one, though it being spent in silence made it drag out that little bit longer. While Adam didn’t mind being able to focus more on the road, the silence felt more than a little heavy in the air, and it felt no better even as he parked the van in his driveway and killed the engine.
“All right, everyone,” Adam spoke up, trying to keep his tone light without faking cheerfulness. “Time to unload all this into the house and grab some food.”
“Yessir!” Trevor said as he hopped out of the van first, already heading to one of the trucks, eager to get it over with to receive his payment.
Adam lingered behind with Sam after the van had emptied and tried to find the right words to say. Sam looked so utterly lost, like he didn’t know where to go or what to do with himself at this point, and he felt a wave of sympathy for him.
“How you holding up, hon?” Adam asked quietly after a long moment, knowing that the normal, ‘you okay?’ would be a silly question that he already knew the answer to.
“Honestly?” Sam said quietly. Adam nodded. “I’m not doing…well.” The Omega shrugged. “I’m mostly numb to all of it still, so I’ll cope.” Adam wanted to ask more, to press a little further to get him to talk, but Sam was unbuckling his seatbelt and moving to step out of the van. “Come on, we’ve gotta help them get everything in the house.”
Sam scrambled out of the van before Adam could say anything more, so the Alpha simply sighed and followed behind him, helping Ben pull the desk out of the back of the truck and bringing it inside. Stealing a glance over his shoulder as he stepped inside the house, he saw that Sam had his garment bag in his hands, standing off to the side and letting the Alphas carrying his furniture go ahead of him.
“Hey, Sammy—where are we putting the dresser? Isn’t there furniture already in that room?” Michael shouted back at Sam, who had trailed in behind everyone else bringing things inside.
“It’ll fit in there—there isn’t much in that room.” Adam answered for him, shifting the part of the desk he was holding to carry it up the steps easier.
Maneuvering the desk, dresser, and entertainment stand was the most difficult part of the job, really—the room wasn’t small, but it was still a bit of a squeeze for the furniture to get through, though they did manage to find room for all of it, turning the bedroom into a cozy living space. Sam would have to shuffle things around to his liking—in so much as the space in the room would allow—but it was now Sam’s space and actually felt like it.
Sam seemed to think so too, or at least, it looked that way as he moved about the room, hanging up his things in the closet and setting up his laptop and knick knacks with a slow, reverent pace with a strange sense of finality to it, as if he were coming to grips with the thought that yes, this was going to be his space, this was going to be his home.
Adam could see that Sam was still processing, though—he could see it in the way that Sam would hold trinkets in his hands, turning them over for inspection as though they were completely new to him—and knew that Sam needed privacy, just for a bit. He ushered the group out of the room to give the Omega some space to come to grips with things.
“We’ll be downstairs, Sammy,” Adam said as the last of their friends filed out of the room and began to climb down the stairs. “Take your time, all right? Whenever you’re done, come on down, and we’ll figure out what we’re doing for food.”
Sam didn’t answer immediately, and his silence was what made Adam only worry more than he already was. He had to bite back the urge to press his friend to say something—anything at all—knowing that he would only be doing so to ease his own concern, and not Sam’s. He didn’t need that right now—what Sam needed most was to know that he didn’t have to worry about pressure when it came to Adam, especially now that they were going to be living together. Still, Adam thought to open his mouth and ask Sam if he heard him when the Omega turned from his desk to face him.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Sam said, smiling at him, though Adam couldn’t help but notice that it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks, man. I’ll be down in a minute or two, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Adam said softy, nodding his head. “Yeah, that sounds good, hon.”
Adam made his own way down the stairs to the living room where the group had gathered, his heart heavy with concern and worry for Sam and what would become of him.
Everyone was already waiting for him—and Sam, no doubt—when Adam joined them. They were all standing, likely in anticipation for heading out to grab food of some sort, and seemed surprised when Adam joined them alone.
“Sam doing all right?” Trevor asked, leaning against the door frame leading into the living room as Adam stepped beside him.
“No offense,” Ben spoke up before Adam could say anything. “But that’s a really stupid fucking question, man.”
“I mean…I guess that’s fair.” Trevor grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I’m just worried about him is all.”
“We’re all worried about him,” Adam said, hands out in a placating manner. “And we’re all a bit on edge because of that,” he gave a pointed look at Ben—while Ben hadn’t been wrong, there was no need to be rude about it, really. “But I’m sure once we get some food in our stomachs, we’ll all feel better—Sam included.”
“He still settling in a bit?” Aranea asked, her arms folded over her chest.
“Yeah, I’m sure he’s just processing things right now.” Adam said, nodding.
“He still has his mark, though,” Michael noted, his expression dark. “He’s going to have to remove that, the sooner the better.”
“I know that, and so does he.” Adam said as he scrubbed a hand over his face, sighing deeply. “We’re all going to have to support him through that whole mess. I’m sure I don’t have to spell out what’s going to happen to him the moment he actually does it.”
The silence in the room spoke for all of them. There was very little that could be said that would be an appropriate thing to follow that topic u
p with. They all knew what Sam was going to have to go through, and how little they were going to be able to help him with it.
Thankfully, the heavy silence didn’t last long—the soft thumping of Sam’s feet carrying him down the stairs warned them that he was coming down finally, and they all wordlessly agreed to not let him see their concern; there was no need to add to Sam’s stress by making him painfully aware that they were all worried for him.
“There he is!” Aranea greeted, her tone bright as Sam gave her a bashful smile.
“Yep,” Sam nodded, popping the, ‘p’ as he scratched at the back of his neck—a nervous habit of his. “Here I am.” He looked around the room, and for a moment, Adam was worried that Sam would just know that they were all talking about how worried they were for him despite their efforts. “Hey, did you guys decide on what food I’m getting you?”
“I’m thinking pizza.” Trevor spoke up, raising his hand.
“You’re always thinking pizza.” Michael said, rolling his eyes. “You don’t count.”
“You wound me!” Trevor said with a gasp, clutching at his chest in mock agony.
“Before we pick something,” Adam said, leaning casually against the wall. “Tell us what you don’t want to have to eat or smell. You’re the pregnant one, Sam, you’re the most sensitive to the taste and scent of food right now.”
“Ooh, good call, big man.” Ben said with a nod.
“Err…” Sam spoke hesitantly, shuffling his feet. “I don’t think I can stomach the scent of garlic right now. Sorry, Trevor.”
“Eh, no reason to be sorry, dude.” Trevor reassured him with a shrug and an easy smile. “I can always get pizza some other time.”
“Thanks,” Sam said with a smile, already looking a little less bashful. “How does everyone feel about Vietnamese food?” He offered with a blush. “I’m craving pho.”
“Well,” Adam said with a grin slowly spreading across his face. “I think that sounds pho-nomenal!”
He couldn’t help the pun—he never could when the opportunity presented itself—and he also couldn’t stop himself from laughing at his own joke, as awful as it was.
“I’m fairly confident that I’ve threatened you with bodily harm at some point before, if you ever made an awful joke like that again.” Aranea said, glaring at him even as she was fighting against a smile.
“Ehh, I’m still not sorry, Arie.” Adam responded casually with a shrug of his shoulders.
Still, he felt like it was a personal victory when Sam snorted a laugh at the joke. Aranea must have realized that it was for the best that she let it slide because of that as well, if the way she gently smiled and didn’t press the issue.
“There’s a good place not far from here that delivers. We could call them up for an order?” Adam offered, pulling his phone out and pulling their menu up online.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Sam said with a shrug, taking the phone from Adam. Sam scrolled through the menu first, placing his order through the app before passing the phone off to Ellie. “Everyone just take your turn putting your order in, then give the phone back to me so I can pay for it.” Sam said with a smile.
It was the most casual and easy going that Sam had sounded since he had come to the house the night before, Adam noted with a small hint of relief. By no means did he think that Sam was suddenly fine—especially considering that he still had his mark—but he was glad that the group could have this moment of levity between them, one last bit of enjoyment before Sam was going to have to face his own personal hell.
As he watched Trevor and Ellie crack more jokes with Sam as he placed their order, Adam could only hope that this was enough. That they were all enough.
6
The Knife in His Neck Broke His Heart
While they waited for their food to get there, Adam had suggested that he dig out his old board games for them to play to pass the time. Sam thought that it would be a good idea. They would be able to chat and spend time together and skirt the topic of everything that was giving Sam anxiety and fear. It was a pleasant enough distraction, though as he helped get everyone drinks from the fridge, he couldn’t help but feel more eager for the food to get there. He hadn’t realized how hungry he suddenly was until he had finally been allowed to step away from everything that was stressing him and they had finally stopped moving his things. That was when his stomach made its displeasure known, gurgling hard enough that he could feel it rattle in his belly. It did it again as he eyed what food there was in the fridge while he was passing out bottles of juice and soda for people to get glasses of.
Sam couldn’t stop his face from heating up, embarrassed that his stomach had been so loud. He paused as he shut the fridge door, worried that someone might have heard it, but he needn’t have bothered—the Alphas in the group were rowdy, all happily chatting about the game they were going to watch tonight and their speculations on who was going to win. Even as he shook his head he smiled, setting the drinks on the counter for people to pour for themselves.
“Hey, Sammy. Who do you think is gonna win the big game tonight?” Michael asked as he helped himself to some juice.
Sam paused, unsure of what to say—while he certainly liked watching sports with friends, he was awful at keeping up with the teams and when people were playing. Adam must have picked up on it, because he gently nudged Michael with his elbow.
“Aww, come on, man—you know it’s gonna be the Packers!” Adam said as he grinned broadly.
“The Packers haven’t won a game all season, Adam.” Ben blanched beside them, taking a pull from his soda.
“They’re gonna make a comeback, though!” Adam said, laughing. The doorbell rang, signaling that their food had arrived, and Sam made a move to answer the door. He nearly jumped when Adam was suddenly there, placing a hand on his shoulder. “How about I take care of getting the food, yeah? These guys ordered a lot, and I don’t want to make you have to carry it all.”
Adam’s smile was an easy going one but Sam could see the worry in his eyes, and at once he knew the excuse Adam gave was a lie—he was concerned that it might have been Dustin at the door. Sam felt a spark of irritation and thought to insist—he was a grown man that didn’t need to be coddled, after all—but promptly swallowed his retort at the thought of Adam’s fear holding some weight, and his baby being in danger.
“Sure,” Sam said with a nod, letting the little white lie slip. “Yeah, I can get everyone’s drinks topped off in the meanwhile.”
“Thanks, Sam.” Adam said, beaming at him in a way that showed that the Alpha knew that Sam understood the real motive behind Adam asking to get the food.
The moment was lost as quickly as it had begun, and Sam could only offer a smile as Adam disappeared. Still, it wasn’t a bad idea for him to refill everyone’s drinks—food had just arrived after all. Sam smiled softly to himself as he refilled everyone’s cups, listening to the idle chatter among the people that he had surrounded himself with, with the people that had become his family where he otherwise would have none. The smile faded when he began to hear voices rising up from the front door—Adam’s and another that he couldn’t quite hear yet. Setting the jug of juice he had been pouring down, he turned away from the counter to try and see what was going on.
Ellie was closest to the front door, craning her neck to peer out from the kitchen to see what the commotion was, though the way her face paled spoke in place of her silence. His curiosity burning inside of him, Sam moved toward the entrance to the kitchen, wanting to know what was going on when Aranea put a hand on his shoulder and stepped in the way of his path.
“How about you stay back, Sammy?” Aranea said, giving Sam the same strained smile that Adam had mere moments before.
Irritability nearly drove Sam to snap at her that no, he wasn’t going to stay back when suddenly the person Adam was talking to at the door grew louder, and his stomach dropped when he realized who it was—Dustin. He wasn’t speaking loudly enough that Sam could hear w
hat he was saying, just loud enough that Sam could recognize his ex’s voice. The tone of it seemed desperate but not aggressive, though that fact did very little to soothe Sam’s nerves as he took a calming breath and scrambled to get his thoughts in order.
That he would be here was not entirely surprising, Sam supposed. Dustin had been over enough times to certainly know the way, and it really was not that much of a stretch to think that Sam would come here, given how close he and Adam were. It was more the fact that he was surprised that Dustin was here already, he supposed as he looked back up at Aranea. She must have realized that Sam had heard him, if the way that she flinched told him anything.
“It’s…it’s okay, Arie,” Sam said with a soft sigh. “I’ll go talk to him—”
“Adam’s trying to tell him you’re not here.” Aranea said, keeping her voice soft, likely to keep Dustin from overhearing her. “No sense in it having to escalate again.”
“It needs to end, Arie.” Sam said, cutting her off with a shake of his head. “And it won’t end if I don’t end it. At least, I don’t think it would end any other way.”
“Sammy—” Ellie spoke up this time, her tone hesitant.
“I have to do this, Ellie.” Sam said with a sigh. “Just…just trust me, all right?”
He didn’t wait for a response before he went to the counter once again and took a small knife out of the knife block on the countertop—he would need to make use of it, most likely. Just as he moved to step out of the kitchen, he could hear Dustin start shouting.
“I want to see him, Adam!” Dustin cried out from just outside the front door.
Even as Sam stepped into the front hallway, he couldn’t see Dustin. Adam was at the front door, his arm extended to hold it open but only just, as if shielding the house itself from Dustin’s gaze. Adam gave Sam a sidelong glance as he stepped further into the hallway, closer to where he would be seen. Ben and Michael were already flanking Sam, with Aranea stepping past him to cover him from the same side as Adam, all ready to defend their friend again. Sam nodded to Adam, who had remained silent and stock still from the moment their gazes locked.