“Thanks.” I sighed.
“Anything for you, love.” He dipped his fingers beneath my hair, his gentle grip tightened around the back of my neck. He brought my mouth to his. Lips, tongue, and teeth nipped and explored. His other hand ran up my thigh, making its way beneath my nightshirt. I melted into him as familiar heat pooled within, his passion an enticing diversion.
“That’s not going to work either,” I whispered.
“Is that a challenge?” He half smiled, running his fingers up my inner thigh. “Because I’m fairly certain it’s working just fine.” Heat trailed his touch. “I love that you wear my shirt to bed, that you want to be surrounded by my scent.” His breath brushed across my face before he softly bit my chin. “The intent is extremely intimate.” His fingers rested on my hip. “And I love the way you feel, the way—”
“Gavin,” I placed my hand over his. “I mean it. No distractions. We need to talk.”
His head fell back against the chair.
“You’re keeping something from me, and I know it has to do with my dreams. What little I remember scares me half to death. I can’t imagine having to see the whole horrid thing night after night.” I rested my head on his chest. “I know that’s what you have to do. It can’t be healthy.”
Silence.
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
Gavin’s features hardened. His eyes glinted like ices jewels. Gone was the warmth and passion of a moment ago. Now I looked into the eyes of a warrior. “I talk to you.”
I cupped his face in my hands. “Not about this. Look, if you won’t talk to me at least talk to Elias.”
“I’ll not expose anyone else to this. Your dreams are too strong.”
Surprised, I searched his face. “Surely Elias could handle it. He’s seen the worst of the Dokkalfar and survived.”
Gavin kissed my forehead. “You’re probably right, but I’d rather not risk it.”
“Sometimes I feel like the nightmare is trying to keep us apart,” I whispered. Panic threaded through me.
“Never.” Gavin held me a little tighter. “I’m sure your dream is a combination of imagination and fear.”
“If you believe that then there’s no reason to keep things from me, now is there?”
Gavin’s eyes narrowed, his emotions grew distant, cold. He stood and set my feet on the floor. “The guard is waiting. You need to get dressed.”
“Hey,” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Don’t shut me out. And next time, wake me up. You promised you wouldn’t leave. I’d rather be sleep deprived than wake without you next to me.”
His arms tightened around me. “I never left our suite, although I know that’s not what you meant. It’s just that it’s difficult. Watching you struggle with your dreams. I hate watching you trapped in your own mind.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “But I’m sorry, love. I didn’t think. Next time, I’ll stay and keep you in my arms.”
I SAT AT THE TABLE, Gavin on one side, Rena’s empty chair on the other. With the absence of Elias, Micah sat to Gavin’s right, updating him on the status of the guard. My surviving the simulation seemed to have bolstered the guard’s confidence, and they now stopped by to give me compliments and pay tribute to the night’s success.
It took everything I had not to run from the room screaming.
I’d slept for almost twenty-four hours straight. Even though I was physically rested, the events of that night had left me emotionally raw. I looked around the room at all the smiling, friendly faces and wondered how these warriors could be the same ones that tried to break me.
The logical side of me understood that they were following orders—that they didn’t like it any more than I did, but the emotional side of me wanted to wail.
So much had happened in the last few days. This morning, Weylin’s hurtful words were the first thoughts ringing in my ears. As much as I wanted to believe that he only said those things to weaken my defenses, I couldn’t help but think that he was right.
Had I been strong enough, those black demons would have never been able to take Gavin. They wouldn’t have tortured him, Mia wouldn’t have had the chance to leave her mark on him, and then maybe he wouldn’t keep things from me, and we’d be as close as we once were.
Gavin never stopped talking to Micah, but his hand slid across the table and enveloped mine.
Mercifully, the servants came into the hall, and everyone headed toward their seats.
I pushed the food around my plate and glanced across the table. Weylin seemed to be the only one, other than me, who wasn’t happy. Several times I caught him looking at me with that open, frank stare that always unsettled me.
A hushed silence fell across the room. I followed everyone’s gaze to the entryway and smiled.
Rena and Tark were back.
I started to get up, but Gavin put his hand over mine. “We are the last to go.”
What? Go where? Unease rippled through me. Wait ... Why were they wearing dark tunics and pants instead of their standard uniform? I had rarely seen her dressed in anything else.
Tark took her hand and brought it to his lips. His lapis eyes twinkled as he spoke with his mind. She grinned and nudged him with her elbow. The hall stood en masse, and the warriors created a line. The recruits were followed by the lower guard, and the Elite Guard gathered toward the back.
Rena and Tark stayed by the door as they greeted their fellow warriors. Some patted Rena’s shoulder; several hugged her and Tark as they passed by. She met each with a smile, but her Jasper brown eyes were muted and sad. Finally, ours was the only table left. Rena’s smile faltered as her eyes found mine.
“Princess, I will see you in a while,” Weylin muttered, setting his napkin on his plate.
Why? My brow creased as I watched him walk to the end of the line.
“Gavin, what’s going on?” I started to really worry.
He took my hand in his and kissed my wrist, just above his soul stone.
Micah, Ruth, Weylin, and Jacob made their way to the front of the hall. Rena’s chin quivered at whatever Micah and Ruth said, a tear slipping down her cheek. Jacob muttered something, making her smile before heading out the door.
Weylin put his large hand on Rena’s shoulder. She shook her head and then glanced at me. Weylin took a step back and bowed deeply. Rena seemed touched by the gesture. He clapped Tark on the shoulder and then headed out of the hall.
Finally, it was the four of us. I ran through the rows of tables and gave her a hug. “I was so worried about you. What in the Sam Hill is going on?”
Rena wistfully smiled at one of Edna’s sayings.
“We’ll leave you to your discussion,” Gavin said.
Tark kissed Rena’s head, and stared into her eyes, speaking to her with his mind. She took hold of his hand as if to say thank you.
“Where have you been?” I asked.
“Walk with me.” Rena took my arm and linked it with hers. She stayed silent as we went through the castle’s foyer and into the courtyard. We continued left, heading toward the row of tall magnolia trees. Their waxy leaves and full branches cordoned off the Keepers private practice fields.
My heart made its way to my throat. “You want to practice?”
Rena half smiled. “No. I think you’ve had enough of training for a while. I wanted a place where we can talk without being interrupted. It’s either here or the mountain, and today is too pretty to spend indoors.”
The temperature cooled under the shade of the tall trees. Sweet magnolias perfumed the air. Water sloshed, the small brook’s stream brushing against hard clay and mud. We made our way to a fat log that stretched across the flowing stream. Rena ambled halfway across and sat, her toes nearly skimming the water.
“This is Tark’s favorite spot. Look.” She pointed upstream as I sat next to her. “That tree is home to traveling sprites. If you get here before sunrise, you can watch them take flight.” Her grin widened. “Of course, now that I’m a Keeper
they’re not as snooty as they used to be.”
I grinned. It always nettled Rena that the sprites would never speak to her. They were ancient creatures and rarely communicated with anyone outside their kind.
The silence grew heavy. Rena sat swinging her feet, lost in thought.
“Reen, where have you been? And what’s this about?”
She took my hand and held it in her lap. “Tark and I’ve been in the mountain.” She kept her back straight, her eyes focused on the sprite’s tree. “I’ve resigned as leader of your guard. I’m no longer your Guardian.”
My stomach dropped. I looked at the water rushing below, not knowing what to say. Rena had been an integral part of my life since the first day I met her. The only time we spent apart was when Gavin and I were on our honeymoon, and even then, it seemed all right because I knew she’d be here when we got back.
“It’s because of Weylin, isn’t it?” Anger surged through me. “He had no right to say what he said to you. And if Gavin played any part in this, so help me—”
Rena took my hand. “No, my lady. The Prince didn’t order me to stand down. I resigned from the position.”
My throat tightened. “Why?”
Rena took a deep breath and sighed. “Serving you has been the greatest honor of my life. But I’ve come to understand that there is someone who will protect you in ways I cannot.”
“What?” I faced her. “What are you talking about? Who could possibly be a better warrior? Who could begin to understand me the way you do?”
Rena shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but I wouldn’t drop it.
“We’ve been through so much together. In the mountain house, you stood up to Gavin, insisting that I know the truth. When the Dokkalfar surrounded us at the Mighty Oak, you kept me from losing all hope. You supported me after I thought I’d lost Gavin.” With every spoken word, I grew more certain this was a mistake. “Reen, you even followed me into the lake of fire, killing Jakkar before he could crush me. Who could possibly come close to doing any of that?”
She kept her eyes fixed on the distant tree. “Weylin.”
Shocked, my jaw dropped. “Weylin is nowhere near the warrior you are. He’s not a Keeper. He can’t even make his way into the mountain. What makes you think he could protect me better than you?”
“He doesn’t love you.” She finally looked at me. “Weylin’s intent is to preserve the future of this land by protecting Gavin’s source. My intent is to protect my best friend. This is my weakness.”
“Love is the strongest emotion. It can’t make you weak.”
“No, but it makes me vulnerable.” Rena stood, pulling me up with her. “I can no longer deny that my intent has changed. Before Gavin made his way back to Kailmeyra, I vowed to guard the Prince’s source. Even then you meant the world to me. But now, after what we’ve been through. We’re too close. My intent to protect is driven by fear. I’m afraid of losing you. I’m afraid you’ll be hurt. Most of all, I’m afraid of failing to protect you and you suffering because of it. This is my weakness.”
I stopped at the edge of the log. “That’s what Weylin said to you, isn’t it? During the simulation. And when you defended me he thinks you proved his point. That’s what made you walk away.”
The expression on her face told that I had hit the mark.
“He was trying to get under your skin. He was being a jerk.”
“He was exploring the truth,” she corrected. “And if he can exploit my weakness that easily, the Dokkalfar will too. The Prince can attest that Mia knows too well how to use what we love to weaken us. That’s why Weylin becoming your primary source of protection is the best solution. He views you as the Last Light of the Ancients and as Gavin’s source. While he admires you, he feels no affection for you. The Dokkalfar will not be able to weaken him by creating images of your death or torture.”
Grumbling, I picked up a rock and threw it in the water.
Rena nudged my shoulder. “There’s no reason to be upset. It’s not like I’m going anywhere. I’ll still be here whenever you need me.” She remained calm, reassuring. “We’ll still spend time together, but we’ll do things as friends instead of the Princess and her guard. This changes nothing.”
I swallowed, trying to ease the lump in my throat. “It changes everything.” My breath hitched. “You won’t be waiting for me first thing in the morning. You won’t be by my side anymore. And he’ll be the one that escorts me; he’ll be the one called if there’s an emergency. I can’t even reach you with my mind.”
Rena sighed. “If you’d like, nothing says we can’t meet every morning. And I plan to stay close to you, especially when we leave Kailmeyra. But if for some reason we get separated, Weylin will send any message you wish to give.” A smile lit her deep brown eyes. “And think, after we defeat Mia and seal the portals, there’ll be no need for you to have a personal guard. We’ll while away our days creating sculptures and raising our young together in peace.”
We walked along the creek’s bank; Rena chattered on about her plans for the future. I stayed quiet realizing that she needed for me to be all right with her choice. She hadn’t come to this decision lightly.
“What happened this morning?” I asked. “What did everyone say to you?”
Rena stopped under the magnolia trees. “They were saying goodbye. I’m no longer an active member of the guard.”
“But you love being a warrior. Just because you’ve stepped down as my Guardian doesn’t mean you have to quit altogether.”
Rena shook her head. “This is my choice. And I feel the anger welling in you. It’s counterproductive to place blame. This is neither the Prince’s nor Weylin’s fault. I simply believe this is the right path to choose. Tark will remain to train the recruits, we will share some of the ancient knowledge with the leaders, and we will defend the land as Keepers of the water and field. But our day to day life will no longer include guard duties.”
A magnolia flower fell from the limb above, landing at Rena’s feet.
She picked up the large, white bloom. “Life’s about change; nothing ever stays the same.”
I sighed. “That’s the one saying of Edna’s that I’m not that fond of.”
“We might not like the truth, but in order to grow we must recognize it, respect it, and accept it for what it is.”
We stopped at the edge of the field, and I faced her.
“I still don’t get why you can’t continue to do what you love. The guard’s been your whole life. You can fight with the best of them. Why change that now?”
“Nora, as the Keeper of the Field I knew one day I would have to relinquish my post,” she quietly replied. “But I didn’t realize it would be so soon.”
I looked at the distant ring of statues in the courtyard. I wasn’t sure which was worse—Weylin becoming the leader of my guard or Rena leaving it all together. Guilt ran through me as I realized that I was yet another liability to someone I loved.
“Rena?” I waited until her eyes met mine. “How can Weylin say those things and still remain strong? I thought the Alfar weakened around deceit, and yet it looked like he could taunt me all day and never be tired.”
“He has always been emotionally detached. Most Alfar weaken when they think such atrocities much less say them out loud. They’ve never affected Weylin, and so he’s been in charge of psychological training for a while. But it’s only been the past few weeks since Gavin has ordered we train at this level.
“How is it that Weylin knows all our weaknesses, and yet he doesn’t seem to have any?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what his weakness is, but as he is your new Guardian I hope we never find out.” Her expression turned grave. “If we could discover it, so could the Dokkalfar.”
Chapter 4
Wyn’s Despair
Gavin and Tark stood by the low mosaic wall that cordoned off the butterfly garden. Rena hugged me before taking Tark’s hand. They headed into the castle.
&nb
sp; “They’re spending the day in the mountain.” Gavin answered the question running through my head.
I didn’t say anything but walked through the small gate. Gavin followed. Colorful butterflies flitted around us, dipping and floating in the gentle breeze.
He took my hand in his. “I’m sorry you’re upset.”
I scowled. “Upset doesn’t begin to define how I feel. Did you ask Weylin to test her before the simulation? That’s what did it. He got in her head, and whatever he said to her made her afraid he’d do the same to me. Why did you let Weylin talk to her like that? And why didn’t you try to stop her from quitting?”
Gavin’s green eyes warmed, causing the small gold flecks to float and swirl. His thumb traced the crease of my palm.
“Weylin was right to bring up the Warrior’s Creed. Rena was right to resign. And yes, I did ask Weylin to test Rena’s resolve the morning before we went to the fields. I’ve seen a change in her since we returned from the Badlands. I believe the majority of the reason is that you almost died in her arms. But I also believe a part of her doubts me. She thought it insane to put you through the simulation. She was adamant that you would be able to do what’s necessary if the situation should arise, but to willfully make you go through it was nothing less than cruel.”
I backed away. “Then Rena was right because Weylin was cruel. He had no right to break either one of us, Gavin. It’s only caused me to doubt, and I no longer have Rena to guard me.”
Gavin’s hands rested on my shoulders. “The experience weakened him tremendously.”
I stiffened. Yeah, right. Rena had suffered more than Weylin ever could. “I can’t believe that Rena’s leaving the guard.”
Gavin turned me in his arms, his eyes cooled. “Both Elias and Queen Lera have wanted to relieve the Keepers of their duties for a while now. They are Keepers, and warrior training takes most of Tark’s time. Rena has been spread too thin for too long.”
“Yes, but I wanted it to be her choice.”
“It was her choice.”
The Heart of the Ancients Page 4