by Leah Martyn
She dragged the case out onto the carpeted floor and flicked it open. Memories as sharp as glass rose up to meet her, a whole swarm of butterflies running riot in her stomach as she looked at the contents.
Oh, Riley. She shook her head silently. How did we ever come to this? Your life and my life? Her fingers smoothed across his things, each touch bringing a series of flashbacks, physical reminders of the time they’d lived together as husband and wife…
‘Well, that’s me squared away.’ Riley came into the bedroom and parked himself on the edge of the bed. ‘What are you doing?’ His eyes were steady on her crouching figure.
‘Nothing.’ Hastily, Jane drew out a pair of faded jeans and a grey sweatshirt and tossed them at him.
‘Thanks.’ He caught them awkwardly. ‘I’ll, um, put these on and get out of your hair, then.’
Biting down on her bottom lip, Jane zipped the case shut. She rose to her feet, righting the case as she went.
‘I’ll do that,’ Riley was on his feet, his robe gaping, as he took the suitcase from her. ‘Where do you want it?’
‘Just shove it in the wardrobe.’ Jane turned away, brushing her hair back from her face with a shaky hand.
She couldn’t let him go like this. She couldn’t.
Her heart twisted painfully. All those wasted months…He’d told her to lighten up. Well, she would. She’d go with her instincts. And she loved him. Loved him. Somehow it would come right. Somehow… ‘Riley…’ Her throat felt dry and raw with unshed tears as she whirled round to face him. ‘Don’t go.’
He looked, she realised, almost as startled as she was by her own words.
It seemed an eternity until he moved, taking her by the upper arms, sliding his fingers down until they circled her wrists. ‘Are you quite sure?’ he asked softly.
Probably as sure as she was ever going to be. ‘Yes…’
‘Oh, Janey…’ His voice was husky with longing. He drew her towards him and kissed her, his hands cupping her face, his lips a gentle exploration. Until the fire caught hold and with a muffled groan he buried his hands in her hair and seared her mouth with his. His body was hard against hers, yet Jane craved an even closer contact, leaning into him so that every tiny space between them was taken up and filled.
When he finally lifted his head, she could hardly stand, and stayed there with her arms wrapped round him for support. ‘Love,’ she whispered at the look in his eyes, ‘let me take a shower first.’
Jane emerged from the en suite bathroom, the delicate nightgown a filmy mist around her.
Riley turned from the window. He took several deep breaths, curbing his impatience. She looked almost ethereal. The Jane of all his dreams lately. But in his dreams she’d been unattainable. Now…
Jane felt her heart begin to thud in slow, suffocatingly heavy strokes as she crossed the carpeted space towards him.
In the soft lamplight, her eyes were drawn to his, to register the slow-burning heat of rearranged priorities—to the now of the simple, primitive dynamics of being husband and wife…
Riley’s arms were waiting. In a second they enfolded her, swept her up and laid her gently down on the bed. Then, straightening slightly, he turned to her bedside cabinet, in one swift stroke lighting the tall candle that stood there. Without haste, his eyes never leaving her face, he stood, shrugging off his robe, letting it fall away.
Almost in slow motion, he extended a hand to switch off the bedside lamp, lowering himself onto the bed beside her.
It was as though the flickering candlelight transformed the bedroom into a cave with huge shadows on the dimly defined walls and ceiling.
Through the open window, the night air was crisp, the stars bright and clear. It seemed the whole world belonged to them and them alone.
Jane turned to her husband, her senses reawakening, materialising in the softest sounds as her every breath recorded his warm, male scent, so familiar, so tantalising, so much a part of who she was.
In an instant their passion was charged, fuelled by the wondrous feel of one another, the fusion of their two bodies, their two spirits. In a ritual as old as time, they loved one another.
At last, the high wave of release set them free. And Jane clung to him, the sheer poetry of it all filling her mind so that all at once they were both fragmenting, and he was there with her and they were one.
Jane tried to concentrate. She’d slipped out of bed very early before Riley was awake and, fortified with a large glass of orange juice, she’d taken herself off to weed the garden.
Had she been right to let him stay?
She exhaled a long breath that turned into a sigh. It was too late to backtrack now. But they still hadn’t talked properly. Instead, they’d gone crazy, letting their bodies do the talking, their love-making replacing the words that should have been said—needed to be said.
Abruptly, she swung up off her knees and took the plastic bucket she’d filled with weeds to dump onto the compost heap. The morning sun was already strong, delineating the shadows of the flame trees like dark cut-outs across the lawn.
‘It’s incredible to be back together, isn’t it?’ She wiped the edge of her gardening glove across her damp forehead, hearing the echo of Riley’s words, the vibration in his voice, as they’d lain together. She’d said nothing, although she’d known he’d been waiting for her to agree with him.
She bit the inside of her lip. If only it was that easy.
‘You should’ve woken me.’
Jane spun round, her breath catching and shivering in her throat. ‘Hi,’ she managed, as he walked across the strip of leaf-strewn lawn towards her. He was wearing the jeans and grey sweatshirt she’d found for him last night.
‘Why didn’t you wake me?’ The words formed huskily, as his hand came down on her shoulder.
Her mind was whirling with indecision. ‘You looked so soundly asleep,’ she said weakly.
His dark gaze narrowed over her face without makeup, her fair skin, the tiny scattering of freckles, the soft, sweet fullness of her mouth. ‘That wouldn’t have stopped you in the past.’
‘Let’s get some breakfast,’ she sidetracked with an overbright smile. ‘I don’t know about you but I’m famished.’ In a deliberate movement, she shrugged out from under his hand, walking in front of him into the laundry. ‘What would you like?’
What a loaded question. Riley beat back the feeling of unease. He was being fobbed off here, ever so nicely. Ramming his hands into his back pockets, he walked after her into the laundry.
‘I’ve bacon and eggs, OK?’ Jane flung the question back over her shoulder, continuing to scrub her hands with unnecessary vigour under the running water.
‘Nothing cooked for me, thanks.’ He reached across to lift the hand towel from its brass hook and hand it across to her. ‘Just juice and coffee’s fine. Perhaps cereal, if you have any.’
‘I never thought I’d hear you knock a cooked breakfast.’
His jaw tensed. ‘I never thought we’d be walking on eggshells around each other this morning either.’
Jane parted her lips then looked away. Her head bent, she dried her hands and then flew up the four steps into the kitchen. Her movements were nerve-ridden as she poured the orange juice and set out fruit and cereal.
‘I could get used to this.’ Riley tried hard for normality.
‘I wonder if there’s anything on the early news about the fire?’ Jane said quickly. ‘We should call the hospital and check on Julie and the children.’
Riley looked at her moodily. ‘I already have. Julie and Brandon can be released today. The admitting reg is seeking advice from the burns unit at the Royal in Brisbane about Tamika. He’s hopeful they won’t have to send her on.’
‘That’ll be a relief for Julie.’
There was a short silence, then Riley asked quietly, ‘Am I allowed to ask where we stand, Jane?’
She took a deep breath. ‘At this stage, I don’t think we should start putting pressure on each
other about anything, Riley, especially about resuming our marriage.’ There, she’d said it. She just wondered why saying the words had felt like throwing stones at him.
His mouth twisted up at one corner. ‘And there I was imagining we were back to something real.’ With surgical precision, he sliced the fresh, ripe pawpaw and put some on his plate. ‘But I didn’t imagine how we were last night, Jane.’
Her eyes downcast, Jane felt a flush warm her skin. They’d been on fire for each other. Their sexual energy, diverted into other channels for so many months, had exploded into a life-giving force, drenching them.
‘Riley, I realise you want things settled.’ She ran into speech, feeling as nervous as a teenager on her first date. But she was wise enough to know that the decisions they made now would have to be for ever. For both their sakes, they couldn’t begin chopping and changing as the mood took them. ‘I’m still unsure…’
A frown pleated his forehead. ‘Unsure of what you want? Unsure of me?’
Jane’s stomach shook. ‘C-can’t we just take things slowly for a while?’
‘To what purpose? Either you want this marriage back, or you don’t. For crying out loud,’ he said tautly, ‘we’re together at the practice but apart when our working day is over. It’s emotional limbo. Utterly ridiculous!’
‘Not half as ridiculous as moving back in together and finding it’s not what either of us wants at all!’
‘It’s what I want.’ Riley felt he was clawing his way up out of a deep hole, looking for some reprieve, a light at the top. He watched as she jerkily lifted the coffee-jug and poured them both a mugful of the steaming brew. After a pause, he went on quietly, ‘Is it possible that this doubt and indecision about us, goes way back, Jane? To your childhood insecurities?’
She laughed bitterly. ‘Perhaps you should ask my mother about that.’
Riley leaned towards his wife, seeking a way forward. ‘In defence of Carol, it can’t have been easy, bringing up a child as a single mother back then. I wouldn’t have thought there would have been much in the way of pensions or entitlements like there is today.’
‘No.’ Jane looked suddenly pinched. That’s why she’d tried so hard to win scholarships at school. But that hadn’t pleased her mother either. She’d just gone on complaining about the cost of higher education. Jane’s throat blocked on a jagged laugh. ‘I think she’d have been more proud of me if I’d forgotten about school and gone to work permanently on the checkout at the supermarket!’
She pushed back from the table and spun away, but Riley was there before her. ‘No! Stay and talk this out, Jane. You owe me that much.’ He took her shoulders in a firm grip, containing his strength—yet the implication of it was there.
Her eyes blazed and she tried to wriggle away. ‘What do you think you’re doing, Riley?’
‘For heaven’s sake…’ He had to force the words past the constriction in his throat. ‘I’d never harm you that way. I love you.’
Jane felt his hands began to move on her back, kneading gently, compellingly. Almost without her realising it, her whole body relaxed and her arms crept slowly around him so that they were pressed together, their bodies interlocking.
He touched his forehead to hers. ‘I love you,’ he murmured once more, and she turned her face up for his kiss.
He tasted of coffee and fresh fruit and his jaw was rough with new beard. Their mouths sought each other’s, sipped and nibbled, and she heard a half-growl escape from his throat as their kiss deepened.
Should they go back to bed? she wondered. It would be so easy, a few steps along the hallway. But afterwards, would they be any nearer solving anything?
She felt him gently pulling back. His fingers moved to tangle in her hair at the back, his hands shaping her head as he lifted her chin. His eyes glittering, he looked into her face. ‘Perhaps this is all we need, Jane.’
To make love? She licked her lips. ‘Perhaps…’
They looked at each other for a long moment and didn’t need words to sketch the emotional tangle they would still face at the end of it.
Riley brushed one last tormentingly soft, slow kiss across her mouth. ‘Let’s leave it all for now and go and collect your spare so your car’s back on the road, shall we? Then we’ll get over to the hospital and see how Julie and the kids are doing.’
At the hospital, Jane was relieved to see Julie looking much more in control. She’d obviously showered and her long blonde hair was combed and plaited neatly down her back. Marianne had already been to the hospital, bringing fresh clothes for the family.
‘Just came in to get myself a coffee.’ The young mother looked up apprehensively when Jane and Riley had tracked her down in the parents’ lounge.
‘That’s good, Julie.’ Jane pushed some magazines out of the way and sat beside her patient. ‘You’re looking much better.’ Jane could see for herself that the lines of strain appeared to have been lifted from the young woman’s face and her manner was clearly less agitated.
‘They’ve caught him, you know.’ Julie’s fingers tightened around her coffee mug. ‘Clint, I mean.’
‘Where did they find him?’ Riley asked from his position at the window.
Julie’s throat moved convulsively as she swallowed. ‘He was trying to break into a chemist’s shop. Looking for drugs, I suppose. Anyway, the sergeant told me he’s been charged with that and the DNA stuff they have from the fire should be enough to link him with that as well. They’ve taken him back to Brisbane. He’ll be held in custody until his hearing…’
‘That knowledge must be a great relief for you,’ Jane said quietly. ‘Things will get better now.’
Julie nodded almost eagerly. ‘Marianne’s found us some temporary accommodation, but as soon as I get on my feet a bit I want to find my own place, get a job.’
‘There’s plenty of time for that, Julie.’ Riley had pulled up a chair and joined the circle. ‘Your children need you for the next little while. Emotionally, you’ve all been through a rough time.’
‘I know.’ Julie’s enthusiasm faded slightly. ‘But my kids and I will be all right here. It seems like a good town with good people. I want to stay, bring them up here.’
‘A country town has lots going for it when it comes to raising children,’ Riley agreed, flicking a narrowed look at Jane.
She blinked. That statement from her husband had certainly come out of left field. ‘Tamika’s looking good,’ Jane sidetracked gently. ‘Dr Brennan and I saw her just now and had a word with the registrar.’
‘Dr Breen said the skin damage wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d imagined.’ Julie’s face lit in a tentative smile. ‘He said burn blisters were already forming and that was good.’
‘The skin is an amazing healer of itself.’ Riley looked round as a nurse appeared at the door with a small boy in tow.
‘This young man’s bored with our playroom.’ She smiled at the assembled group. ‘He wants his mum.’
‘Oh, Brandon, come here, honey.’ Julie hastily put her coffee aside to gather the little boy on to her knee. ‘I didn’t mean to give the staff extra work.’ She sent an apologetic look at the nurse. ‘But the other sister said it was OK for him to play with the toys.’
‘Of course it was,’ RN Alison Palmer grinned. ‘We had an excellent game of skittles, didn’t we, mate?’
Riley chuckled ruefully. ‘I haven’t played skittles in yonks. I thought they’d well and truly been replaced by computer games or what’s that’s other thing—Gladiator?’
Alison tutted. ‘Really, Dr Brennan. You should get out more. Skittles are making a comeback.’ Alison Palmer’s dark eyes were filled with laughter. She leaned towards Riley, her body language spelling out its own subtle message.
Jane tensed, listening to the banter between them. Her heart began beating uncomfortably fast. Her insides felt as though someone had grabbed them with a giant fist. Suddenly she wanted to spring to her feet, to scream and shout and tell Alison to look elsewhere. To ann
ounce that Riley Brennan was spoken for.
‘Oh, help, is that the time?’ Alison half turned, checking her watch. ‘Duty calls. Give a yell if you need anything, Julie, or if we can take the little munchkin here off your hands for a while.’
‘Thanks, Sister.’ Julie bit her lip. ‘Everyone’s been really kind.’
‘Not a problem.’ Alison dismissed Julie’s thanks with a wave. ‘Doctors.’ She nodded towards Jane and Riley. ‘Catch you all a bit later.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEY couldn’t hope to keep their relationship a secret from the community for much longer.
Jane recalled the weekend just past with a mixture of happiness and frustration. It seemed that, just by his actions, Riley had been determined to keep things lowkey and not to pressurise her for an answer.
Instead, he’d insisted they take life very much by the throat, get out and about, and it didn’t matter who saw them. On Saturday evening, he’d taken her to dinner at one of the pubs and they’d stayed on for the karaoke. It had been hilarious. And yesterday, off his own bat, he’d organised the food and they’d gone to the river, swum in its cool, limitless depths and then eaten their picnic lunch under the shade of the weeping willows. The two days had been almost like a second honeymoon.
Except that Riley had gone home each night to the flat above the surgery.
Jane shrugged off a slight feeling of depression and went out to call her last patient for the day.
‘Your test results came back this morning.’ She smiled across at Anna Lewellen. ‘You’re looking good. Cholesterol’s down to three point eight which is a big drop from six.’
‘And a bigger drop still from the eleven when I first tested,’ Anna chuckled. ‘So, Doctor, I should stay on the higher dose of the medication?’
Jane nodded. ‘You’ve had no side effects from the forty milligram dose, have you, Anna?’
‘No, love. I’ve felt much the same. But it’s a relief to know the new tablets are working.’