“What’re you talking about? I’m fine.”
“Yeah, like the rest of these guys,” the woman said, nodding to the many empty registers. “All of them left feeling fine and expecting to be in the next day. I’ve got to lock up the back, since the maintenance crew didn’t show up. Make sure you close the employee exit door behind you.”
“Ready for some new clothes?” Kat asked, bringing me back to the present.
“I’m sure new, clean clothes will make everyone happy,” I answered. “We’ll definitely smell better.”
“Kevin!” Christina called.
“Oh, sounds like someone found a gift for you!” Kat laughed.
We walked over to the sound of the voice. Christina and Taylor stood in front of full-length mirrors. She was wearing a pink baseball cap, and he had on a dark purple beret.
“Wow, you guys look cool!” Kat exclaimed.
Christina smiled at me and said, “I found something for you.” She went over to a little table near a cash register and brought back a black cowboy hat.
“Put this on. It’ll be good on you,” she told me in a serious tone.
I sensed the eyes on me as I took the hat. I had never been a guy who wore hats, but this hat was different. I took an instant liking to it. A look in the mirror surprised me.
“Lookin’ good!” Kat whooped.
I had to admit that I agreed with her. The hat did fit like it belonged on me.
“See, I was right!” Christina cheered.
“Yes, you were.” I smiled at her. “How did you get so smart?”
“Okay now that you’ve made a fashion statement, can we get some food?” Taylor interrupted.
We headed over to the food section of the store. As we passed the glass counters, I made a point of checking my reflection. As silly as it sounds, the feeling that I looked good made me feel good. Even the fact that the world was going straight to hell could not completely steal the good mood from me.
That positive sensation continued as we found a fully stocked food section.
Say what you will about the danger of preservatives in processed food; they make for the finest cuisine in an apocalypse. All of us were hit by an instant wave of euphoria as we looked at the food filling the shelves.
“Don’t know what to eat first!” Christina exclaimed.
“I do!” Taylor answered, grabbing a box of chocolate cupcakes off the shelf.
In the next instant, he had ripped open the box and torn into the chocolate cakes. His hands and face immediately got covered by the dark color. He turned and smiled at me, revealing a mouth full of chocolate-smeared teeth with chunks of cake in between.
I flashed on the image of Taylor tearing into a body. The blood covered his hands and face. He turned to snarl at me, revealing a mouth full of blood-smeared teeth with chunks of flesh in between.
The horrible sight was enough to jolt me back to reality. I saw Taylor and Christina laughing as they stuffed each other’s mouths with cookies.
“Mmmm, tastes good,” the little girl said with her mouth full, dropping pieces of cookie as she spoke.
I had to laugh but also said, “Okay, you two, I know it’s great to have lots of food, but let’s not waste it.”
Both of them looked at me with guilt and food all over their faces.
“Sorry,” Christina said, food still falling out of her mouth.
The sight sent all of us into roars of uncontrollable laughter. Taylor fell on the floor howling. Kat held on to my shoulder bent over with laughter. I leaned against a display counter. Christina was just looking around at all of us and shrieking with hilarity.
“Really, really good,” she said.
Kat went over and wiped the little girl’s face with her sleeve. “Well, it sure looks like you’re enjoying them.”
We took our time going through the shelves of food, gathering what we wanted to take.
“So make a pile of what you want and we can put it by the door later,” I told them without ever imagining how big the piles would get.
I walked around looking at the shelves of food. Aside from some dust, most of it looked as though it had not changed from the day it had been placed on the shelf. I picked up a canister of potato chips…actually, these contained no potatoes, so I guess they should only be called chips, Anyway, I wondered if there would ever be a new canister made of such chips. Of course, the next question was whether having no more of these chips made was a bad thing. I noticed the other plastic containers of food that seemed more synthetic than anything remotely natural or nutritious. I wondered if such food with its chemical additives could have anything to do with how we got to this point.
After considering things in this way, any appetizing qualities of the food were gone. Instead of gathering a pile of my own, I simply wandered around and looked on as the others scurried around like squirrels happily collecting the items that appealed to them. It felt as though I were a father on Christmas morning enjoying the sight of his family’s delighted faces as the opened presents.
Kat helped Christina carry big boxes of crackers and cereal to her pile. The little girl was running around the stack arranging everything just how she wanted it.
“So where’s your pile?” Kat asked me.
“Oh, I don’t really see anything I have to get. I’ll grab some stuff before we go.”
She looked at me with an expression of concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I guess…I don’t know, seeing all this stuff reminds me of how things used to be and I wonder if things will ever be the same again.”
“Well, no one can say for sure. Maybe the only thing we can do is find enjoyment in the present.” She stopped for a moment, remembering something. “You can probably guess that I never gave much thought to the future. Probably how I wound up here… But I guess I’m not doing too bad. I don’t know, I think about all the people who spent every second carefully planning every step of their future. Saving big bucks in the bank, studying hard for a good job, and all the rest of that shit, none of it mattered.” Kat laughed flatly. “Even though they worked their asses off for the future, most of ‘em are rotting away somewhere. You gotta admit, compared to a whole lotta people, we’re doing pretty damn good.”
I nodded. “I agree. So you’re saying we should just live for today and let the future take care of itself?”
“I’m not sure if that’s what I’m saying. You make me sound so smart. The thing is, I don’t know about spending your whole life worrying about what’s gonna happen.”
I smiled and said, “I think you’re wrong. I don’t make you sound smart. You do that yourself.”
Kat laughed. “That’s something no one’s ever told me before.”
“You must have been hanging out with the wrong crowd.”
“Well, you got that part right anyway,” she answered and giggled.
I suddenly became aware of the eyes on us. I turned to see Taylor and Christina standing together and grinning at us.
“What?” I asked.
Taylor just shook his head.
“Two little lovers sitting in a tree,” Christina began singing. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
I felt the heat of my face getting red. “Grow up, you guys. Now did you get everything you want?”
My attempt to change the subject was obvious, and the pair continued grinning.
“Okay, let’s check out everything else,” Kat said.
I had never been a person who enjoyed shopping, but that day was different. The sheer joy with which Christina went through the store became infectious. Every time she laughed, it was impossible not to laugh with her. She paraded around in various outfits that she put together from the clothes on the shelves. I watched it all from under the brim of my new cowboy hat.
Kat seemed to be enjoying the whole thing as much as I was. Clearly, all of us needed time to relax. Taylor laughed and played like a boy again.
We had a
good time, but I let myself lose track of the day. Before I realized it, the afternoon had passed, and it had gotten late.
“Hey, guys, it’s getting late. We need to head back.”
“Aww,” Christina whined.
“It’s no big deal,” Kat commented. “We can come back tomorrow.”
Taylor’s smile widened. “You know we never got to go camping. So I was thinking…” He nodded toward the large green and yellow tent set up in the sporting goods section of the store.
Christina immediately ran over to the tent and yelled. “Please, can we stay here? Please!”
I looked at Taylor and rolled my eyes. “Thanks a lot.”
The young man simply shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
“It’s not a bad idea actually,” Kat offered. “I mean, we’re going to be going to Tiburon and who knows after that, so we…”
“Might as well get used to sleeping in different places,” I finished. “Well, let’s see what kind of camping gear we’ve got.”
Obviously excited, Taylor trotted over to Christina next to the tent. As soon as I got near them, they ran inside the tent.
Kat moved close to me and asked, “Shall we?”
“After you,” I answered as we entered the tent.
The interior was nothing short of incredible. Several cots with sleeping bags on top had been arranged in one corner at the back. To the right of the door sat a white plastic table with four chairs around it. The table had been set with plastic plates and cups. A big bowl of artificial fruit took up the middle of the table. Behind the table was another small table holding a stove, and next to it, a little refrigerator.
“Well, this is certainly not my idea of roughing it,” I commented.
I looked over to see that Taylor and Christina had already discovered a portable television and a laptop computer on a stand in the back. Kat searched through a nearby cabinet.
The idea of this being my family instantly came to my mind. As strange as it might seem, that is exactly what we had become. I knew next to nothing about them a short time ago, but in this new world, the past did not matter too much. The only thing that truly mattered was the connection you had right now. I suppose that I could have felt guilty about not dwelling more on Bonnie and friends and family that had been lost in the past few months. But mourning the people who had been lost served no purpose. They were part of the old world, the world where things made sense, the world where people did not come back after they died. Considering those around me as my new family made perfect sense. In the new world, everything changed. I looked at my new family and smiled at the sight. We were certainly a diverse group. I wondered if Kat was even old enough to have a child as old as Taylor. I must have laughed, because I saw her look at me with curiosity.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I answered.
“Try me.”
“Well, I was just thinking about how everything is different in the world now. And, well, in this new world, you guys are my new family.” I waited and watched her expression. I tried to figure out what was going on inside her head.
“Yeah, I guess it is a new world and all that. I mean, the shit has definitely hit the fan.” She started to apologize for her language but then stopped herself. “Seems like, well, everybody is on their own, and it’s probably gonna be like that for at least a while.”
“You got that right,” I agreed.
“So we’re the new family unit. Does that make us like some sort of new age Adam and Eve?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea. “Hmmm, Adam and Eve, huh? I hadn’t really considered that one. Perhaps we are…I’ll have to give it some thought. All I know is everything we got used to in the old world is gone. We have to start living in this one. That means starting over. I’m not sure about wearing a fig leaf though.”
“Oh, c’mon, you didn’t expect to look good in a cowboy hat. Who knows, a fig leaf might be perfect for you,” she giggled a little.
At that moment, I realized we were actually flirting. The realization startled me a little. It had been a long time since I had been in such a situation. I could not decide exactly how I felt about it.
As easy as it would be to consider the old world and everything belonging to that world no longer relevant, I wasn’t ready to completely toss aside all the memories I had of my previous life. I could see every feature of Bonnie’s face. She smiled, but her face was trembling. The tears started streaming down her cheeks.
“No, I don’t want a divorce,” she cried as she moved toward me. “It was…just a stupid mistake. He doesn’t mean anything to me. He…” The rest of her words got lost in the sobs that shook her body.
I wanted to reach out to hold and comfort her. I tried to do that but was unable to move. All I could do was watch as Bonnie trembled with sorrow. However, what really bothered me was that Bonnie seemed to be sliding further away as I stood watching. Her image remained there for me to see, but it no longer had the sharp detail it had previously. I was aware that at the same time the sharpness of the pain I had experienced had eased.
“You okay?” Kat asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, although my words did not change the fact that I was definitely not fine.
“You ready to go check out this tent with your new family?”
I looked at her, but the previous strong feelings toward Kat were gone. We walked slowly over to where Taylor and Christina played with things they had found. Kat’s eyes focused on me as we moved. She must have been completely confused by my sudden change in mood.
I couldn’t blame her for being confused. I did not fully understand my behavior either. Of course, I had lost my wife recently. Even if she died in such a bizarre and violent manner, it made sense that I would need time to adjust to her death. I had no reason to feel strange, because I still needed time to grieve. The idea that this was all part of going through a normal mourning process made me feel better, and I actually smiled.
My new expression did not relieve Kat’s confusion.
“You okay?” she asked again.
“Sure…uh…I guess so… How about you, Eve?”
The smile slowly came to her mouth as if she was not quite sure it belonged there.
“What did you guys find?” I asked.
Christina answered with excitement. “A little TV with some movies! I see a battery, but it doesn’t work!”
Taylor had already found a video game on the laptop and was busy killing space aliens.
“Well, let me take a look,” I told Christina, sitting down next to her.
Trying to look as though I had some idea of what to do, I checked the buttons in the front of the small television and even pushed the power button a couple of times. There was no response. I turned it around a looked for some secret on the back. After a moment, I finally spotted it. There was a little slot near the bottom of the set. On one side AC outlet was written and Battery on the other.
I found a pen and stuck it in the slot to move the switch to battery on the television. Once done, I pushed the power button on the front. The light came on, and after a moment the screen filled with snow.
One would have thought I had given Christina the best gift of her life from the way she threw her arms around my neck and cried. “Oh thank you, Kevin.” The little girl appeared truly beyond emotion as she regarded the snowy screen.
“For a long time, I couldn’t watch anything,” she said. “Now I don’t know what to watch first.”
She looked at the various videos scattered around the table. After a moment, she grabbed one and stuck it into the video player. The screen immediately filled with an animated blue rabbit-like creature that bounced everywhere. Christina was instantly enthralled and looked deeply into the screen for the next fifteen minutes.
“Looks like you’ve found the key to keeping her happy,” Kat chuckled.
I looked at her for a moment before responding. “Well, I would
n’t ordinarily resort to plugging a kid into the idiot box, but these are certainly not ordinary times, and she definitely deserves some mindless entertainment.”
Kat nodded. “You got that right. We all do, especially you.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I don’t really think I have it any worse than anybody else, especially these two.” I nodded toward Taylor and Christina. “They lost everything, and the thing that makes it even more terrible is that they don’t really understand why it happened. I mean, as far as we know, nobody really understands why all this shit happened. But it’s got to be more terrible when you’re young and your future simply disappears in front of you. There one second and gone the next. I mean, everything you ever figured would never change instantly changed. Everything we figured would always be around and could be counted on is gone. Nothing can be counted on.”
“They can count on you,” Kat replied slowly. “At least, they can count on you.”
She gave me a smile that I did my best to return.
“I wish I believed that to be true. I wish I had something to promise them would never change.” I paused and shook my head. “But in a world like this, what can I do for them?” I realized that my whining did not deserve a response and I didn’t really expect one.
Kat surprised me by saying, “You can be around for them. That’s worth more than just about anything, you know? How about you can protect them?” She paused for a moment. “That seems like it’s more important than anything now. You can protect them from becoming like those things, those things like Paul.”
She appeared to be near tears, and I simply nodded.
Fortunately, Taylor and Christina had both gotten so engrossed in their newfound tools of escape that they did not listen to our conversation.
Perhaps watching videos and playing computer games, the two activities bemoaned by parents and teachers as the virtual destroyers of imagination, might actually serve to preserve minds. After all, imagination would be no blessing in a world that seemed to be quickly becoming worse than imaginable. My thin grasp on reality was a clear example of the negative impact imagination could have.
The Most Uncommon Cold (Book 5): Surviving Beyond the Zombie Apocalypse Page 4