by Rebecca Foxx
“I can’t… can’t think.”
He chuckled.
“You are so innocent. So sweet.” and his nose caressed her neck. “You are safe with me. I am not gonna hurt you.”
Tallah breathed in deeply, filling up her nostrils with the scent of his skin that she found so masculine. It was subduing her. As he began kissing her neck, she shuddered and clenched her fingers into his shoulders. Everything was just so intense that it scared her.
“Lou… stop…” she whined, without actually believing what she was asking.
He stopped and looked at her, drawing the outline of her face with one finger, looking deeply into her eyes, smiling at her. Tallah was aware she could’ve fallen off her feet, if not held so steady by him.
“It’s alright. You can let go. Baby, just let me make you feel… loved.”
He kissed her again, this time tenderly, just stroking her lips with his. Tallah didn’t fight it anymore and kissed him back. Heat waves were coming and going inside of her.
She had never known such sensations. Her thoughts that had been in a jumble till then melted into a single one: I want to make love to you. She did feel sexy, beautiful and loved with him, although she barely knew him.
It was some strange magic! But she decided to give into it. She chained his neck with her arms and lined her body with his, relishing the feel of his heartbeat, pounding, wanting to break free from his chest; she knew right there that he was feeling as overwhelmed as she did and that gave her confidence: she had never dreamed that she could have such an effect on a man, let alone one as handsome and powerful as Luciano.
He lead her to his bedroom, never losing eye contact with her, the skin on his cheekbones in a sensual blush. Tallah grabbed the rim of his shirt and removed it in a hurry. His chest was wide and strong and slightly hairy; she stared at it, thinking that he was so fit.
The skin under his collar bone was as red as his cheekbones and Tallah couldn’t help herself from kissing it and running her hands all over his pecs and ribs and waist. Luciano smiled widely, surprised by her unexpected audacity. He was enjoying himself, inflating his chest, his fingers in her dark curls.
Then he turned her around and unzipped her dress so swiftly that Tallah didn’t even know it when she found herself only in her bra and panties. He nimbly undid her bra, but she was still holding it up with her hands.
She suddenly became very aware of all her complexes, all the parts of herself she considered flabby and unattractive, like her tummy, which she deemed fit of an Arabian belly dancer... and this wasn’t a compliment; or her thighs which she considered too full; or her breasts which she considered too big. On the other hand, he was so perfect! She slightly slouched, at the thought.
“Lou…” she began, but instantly forgot her complaints, when she became aware of the heat he was giving off, behind her, now enhanced, because the clothes had been removed.
His hot skin touched hers and she leaned automatically into him, eyes closed, with a sinking feeling inside of her. His large, warm hands chained up her waist, then traveled up her stomach, covered her own hands and lowered them slowly from over her breasts. He let out a sigh of wonder:
“You are… so beautiful!”
He turned her around to face him.
“Look at me.” Luciano whispered when he saw her shying away. “You are a princess! By God… your eyes sparkle like gems.” and he kissed her eyes.
He leaned her slowly on the bed, lying down on one side next to her, and kept whispering to her:
“Your lips are full and sweet, like ripe wild cherries. Let me taste them.” and he kissed her lips away, at leisure, his free hand in her curls, on her neck, barely brushing against the skin on her breasts and stomach, enough to give her goosebumps, to make her want more.
As if feeling it, he passionately kneaded her breasts, until she began sighing into his mouth, between kisses. It seemed to arouse him and he began climbing with his mouth down her neck, biting with his lips into her skin and making swirls with his tongue.
She found it surprisingly pleasing, but when she felt his hot mouth on her nipples and the slick feel of his tongue, she released a moan so loud, that she felt instantly embarrassed and wanted to cover her mouth. He stopped her and whispered:
“Just let go… feel free. Your breasts are like great ebony hills. Baby, I just wish to conquer them.”
He then took care of her breasts properly, with his hands, mouth and tongue, while she sighed and winced, feeling herself getting wetter by the minute.
His manhood was poking into her thigh, through his trousers, and it filled her with an unexpected want. And like that wasn’t enough, he started licking lower and lower down her belly until he reached her mount of Venus.
He removed her panties, gently pulling them down with his fingers. Then he spread her thighs.
“No…” she whined, embarrassed once again, hiding her face in her palms as if it could’ve hidden her privacy.
Untroubled, he scrutinized every fold of her, brushing them with his thumb, speaking with a sort of veneration:
“Scented and wet like a dark water lily in bloom, waiting to be plucked…” and he dived into her until her mind was filled with the rhythms of his tongue only, giving her a burning sensation inside her womb.
She was moaning loudly, something in her begging to be released. He reached with his tongue inside her and she squirmed at the feeling.
She put two fingers inside her, touching the very spot she felt burning, rubbing it gently, while his tongue played on her clitoris.
She could feel her thighs tensing up, and a sensation like a tickle, past all bearing, coming and going in waves inside her tummy, ever more powerful. Her body started moving on its own, against his fingers.
She suddenly gasped when the feeling rode up her stomach then dropped down into her hidden place, intensely, and exploded into strong pulses of pleasure, making her wind and move faster against his fingers, her loud moans, almost screams of enjoyment.
It was the first time she had ever had an orgasm. She wanted to cry out his name, but she contained herself.
“Oh… baby…” Luciano said admiringly. “You are wild and delicious. I want you so much! I long to be inside you.”
“Yes… yes….” she found herself whining, asking for him with her arms.
He quickly reached into a drawer and pulled out a condom and while he removed his trousers and boxers, she couldn’t look away, but stared lovingly at him, big and strong and noble looking.
He unrolled the condom on himself, then leaned over her and smiled to her, his eyes blurring as he pushed inside her, the blush on his cheekbones deepening. She moaned when she felt herself throbbing around him, echoes of her orgasm still lingering. She closed her eyes.
“Look at me.” he whispered and when she did, his stunningly blue eyes sent prickles in her heart and down her stomach and she gasped and sighed.
He responded with a faint moan and muttered as he began to move:
“It feels so good inside you, so warm and… hospitable.”
Tallah laughed:
“Hospitable… really? You’re gonna use this word. Now.”
He smiled amused, then said, steadying himself on his hands:
“I’ll teach you to make fun of me!”
His thighs were pressing into her, wavy, superficially and slowly, at first, driving her mad. She sustained his stare and felt her mind going numb, as he increased his rhythm and went deeper.
Tallah grabbed his ass, sinking her nails into the flesh, pushing him further to her. She was humming loudly to his rhythm and he was responding from time to time, and on his face, she could see he was getting lost in it more and more. She could feel him growing harder and also something never before felt by her: she wanted to have him come inside her.
“Come… come to me..” she told him out of breath.
He placed one leg of her on his shoulder and pushed his whole length inside of her, drawing a shriek of
pleasure from her throat:
“Lou… oh!”
At the mention of his name, she could see him shudder and gasp, then he leaned his forehead on hers and pound hastily into her until his whole body jerked and he cried:
“Oh, God… Tallah!”
He dropped next to her. She would have liked to feel him inside her a little longer, but he hurried out of the room to discard the condom. When he returned, he brought her a glass of water.
“You seemed thirsty.” and when she closed her mouth, she found out he was right; she took the glass from him and when he sat down next to her, she simply cuddled to him, while he kissed her curls.
Chapter 3
The next month was the best of her life. It was spent in a sexual frenzy. Tallah was moving around, as if in a constant daze.
When she wasn’t studying, she was either making love to him or musing about him and about his big capable hands on her. He was teaching her to love herself, by loving her. Her curvy constitution, she had considered too generous till then, was just right for his hands.
They spoke a lot, too and always laughed. Then there were also these amazing moments in their conversations when they reached some deep complex inside. They were healing each other with each encounter. And Tallah knew she had never been closer to anyone; he was starting to know her better than herself and it was scary, but also comfortable. She decided to let her guard down completely and tell him that what she felt: she loved him, with all her heart and didn’t care who his family was.
That beautiful spring morning, Tallah had bought a small flower. It was a so-called moon flower; she wanted to give it to him when she told him what she felt. He had called her, telling her he wanted to tell her something, too, and to meet him at the park.
And she thought it was a good sign like maybe he wanted to tell her the same thing she wanted, and that maybe he wanted them to walk and enjoy nature, for a change… instead of their own natures.
Not that she found anything wrong about their physical interaction. She was dreaming awake and giggling to herself when she reached the park. When she saw him waiting for her on a bench, she hurried up towards him, smiling widely, hiding the flower behind her back.
But as she approached him, she was instantly struck by the dark shadow over his eyes and his serious expression and slowed down instinctively. He rose from the bench to meet her, and without even letting her say hello, he blurted out:
“Tallah, we have to end this.”
In an instant, Tallah felt sweaty and like she couldn’t breathe. He continued:
“You were right when you said you are not my type. And I am not yours.”
She felt a slight faint coming over her: her heart was beating in her ears and the heat she first felt in her hands, climbed up to her cheeks. She sat down on the bench and he sat down next to her.
“My God! Tallah, you’re not gonna cry, are you? I shouldn’t have gone so full on, on you! But this is just me when I see a beautiful woman. I was stupid to make you feel like this is actually a relationship.”
She had never felt more embarrassed in her entire life. She squeezed hard the fragile stem of the moon flower she had been keeping behind her back, as a surprise, wringing it and gathering it with her fingers in her fist. It was him who was supposed to give her flowers anyway.
She also felt angry, at him, but mostly at herself: how could she have been so stupid? Of course, she had been just a fling to him, an experiment, dipping his fingers into chocolate or something, or getting a geeky, unapproachable girl to fall for him.
But, beyond angry, and embarrassed, she felt hurt the most and could hardly contain her tears. She began pinching at her wrist to induce pain in another part of her body, so that she could focus on that, rather than the burning sensation in her chest.
He was going on with his speech, but she couldn’t pay attention to him anymore. She was looking down and brooding inside.
She snapped out of it, when he grabbed one of her arms:
“And you understand that, don’t you?” he asked, pulling her hand into his.
It was the hand where she had crumpled the little flower to death; so she clenched her fist tighter to keep it hidden.
“Right, Tal?” he folded her fist into his hands.
“Hm? I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I wanna be friends, Tallah. You are such a nice, good girl… and you deserve a nice boy that will not make a fool of you, or endanger you. But I can’t be losing touch with you. I wanna know you, be your friend. I know I can respect you as a human being. No one has ever induced this in me.”
Noble as he may have wanted to render it, it sounded horrible in her ears. It meant that he really wanted the intimate company of more easy women… or… Of course! How could she have been so blind?
“You are supposed to marry someone, aren’t you?” she asked him.
Luciano widened his eyes and swallowed hard. He let go of her hand. He breathed out sharply through his nose and for the first time during that encounter, he smiled.
“You…” he waved his finger at her. “I should’ve known you’d figure me out. Serves me right for trying to fool you. You’re gonna make a great therapist one day!”
Because it was logical his clan would go for an arranged marriage. But why then had he inconvenienced her? Just for fun? Just because that was what men like him did to women? Tallah felt her jaw starting to shake and her eyes starting to mist. So she figured it was her cue.
“Right!” she said and stood up from the bench. “I’d best be going now. Congratulations!” and she rushed away.
“Tallah, don’t be like this,” he dashed after her and caught her by the hand. “What I said about us being frie… what is this?” he wondered, when he found himself with a warm, moist, crumpled plant in his palm.
“My heart, you asshole!” Tallah whispered harshly. “You don’t honestly expect me to be your friend and therapist and analyze you while you talk to me about your mom, or the pressure the clan puts on you… or about your fiancé? That’s just… a cruel thing to ask!”
“Tallah… she’s not yet my…”
“But then again… cruel is your second nature, isn’t it?”
His eyebrows furrowed deep and his eyes went cold and when he pressed his thin lips together, they turned into a line. He smirked arrogantly:
“You certainly seem to know better.”
She pouted at him, with a frown and pointed a finger, wanting to say something else, but changed her mind, rotated on her heels and strode away. And that was all.
Chapter 4
The next month was the worst ever recorded in her life till then! She couldn’t cry, though she wanted to.
Because of that, she had a constant pain in her chest and a fog over her eyes: she was bumping into people and objects. At first, she would mope in her dorm room, staring at her mobile. She expected him to call her.
When he didn’t, she wanted to call him, so badly! She deleted his number eventually, so as not to be tempted anymore: she wouldn’t have sunk so low as to chase after a guy. An engaged-to-be-married guy. No matter if that guy was Lou.
When the pain had settled some, she slowly began to return to her old self. She strived to see the silver lining in that cloud that had darkened her sky.
And she did: although the way it ended hurt her a lot, her brief relationship with Luciano had given her confidence in herself as a woman, had made her realize that she was actually beautiful and desirable. She had that confidence now.
Her eyes opened and saw that there were quite a number of men watching her, but not daring to approach her because of her geeky, self-pitying attitude.
She allowed herself to glow with that new found self-esteem. She also took up aerobics and jogging and asked herself why she hadn’t done it sooner, it was that good for her. Then she got rid of her glasses and started wearing contacts and later on, had a simple laser surgery that corrected her shortsightedness.
Over the res
t of her University years, she had a fair number of boyfriends that made her feel desirable and in control. None of them, however, gave her the same thrills as Luciano had, or made her feel sweetly vulnerable and submissive, or like sharing details of her life.
Although it had been the reason for her pain, secretly, it was also the reason why she wouldn’t hold on to any relationship more than a couple of months and always was the one to break it up.
Luciano didn’t give her any sign of life, whatsoever. She would hear about his family on the news and, occasionally, also about him.
She would see him briefly around the campus, and, at first, it disturbed her, but it was either fate or his elusive way of being that made it so that they never passed each other close by again. Slowly, she was forgetting about him… or was it that she was turning everything into a dream? Her chest pains would still come back with every full moon, though.