“All right,” she said, secretly glad that she was so tired that not even Steel’s scent was enough to get a rise out of her. She let him help her out of the cave and onto a narrow stone pathway. When Astra hurried ahead Steel slowed their pace even more and leaned down, keeping his voice low so that only she could hear.
“Tell me, please, what I said that upset you?”
“It’s nothing,” Tani said.
“It is not,” Steel replied. “I know that I hurt you, I just don’t know how. I’m not going to stop asking until you tell me, either. You’re not the only one who can be stubborn.”
“Fine,” Tani said, exasperatedly. “I made you a promise, and you disregarded it as though it were meaningless to you. To me, promises are important. I don’t make them lightly, and I’d never break one.”
Steel stopped and turned so that he was facing her while still supporting her. “I’m sorry, Tani,” he said. “I was so worried about your reaction to my…alter form…that it was very difficult for me to accept that it didn’t bother you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and you’re right, it was wrong of me to disregard your promise. But it wasn’t because I didn’t believe you. It’s because I have a difficult time believing in myself.”
“Why?” Tani asked softly.
“Because I was raised to be a prince, with all the responsibilities that entails, but I wasn’t raised to be king. That was to be my brother’s role, but he was killed in the mine about a week after the Nomen returned. One of the men who escaped told me that he was executed when the Nomen discovered who he was because they didn’t want the slaves to get confused about who was in charge.”
“I’m sorry, Steel,” she said, reaching up to touch his arm lightly. He nodded, his eyes bright. “Thank you for explaining that to me. I know that it’s not always easy to believe in yourself.”
Steel dipped his head, then resumed walking. They reached the end of the horizontal path and turned to climb up the steep cliff face. Tani found herself leaning on Steel a bit more than she wanted to because her legs started shaking. Between leaning on him and falling on her butt, she figured leaning on him was less embarrassing.
She was relieved when they finally entered Astra’s cave, which was actually quite cozy. It had a high ceiling, an inviting fireplace, and the walls were decorated with lots of tapestries and needlepoint designs that made it feel warm and homey. Steel helped her to the fireplace where three large thick cushions waited for them. Astra was at the far end of the cave in the kitchen area, ladling soup into bowls that smelled so good Tani’s stomach began growling insistently. She looked up at Steel to apologize, then froze as he leaned down and kissed her, just once, on the mouth. It was slow, and gentle and soft but it was her very first kiss, and she closed her eyes, burning it into her memory for all time.
“Ready?” he whispered and she opened her eyes, startled.
“Um, yes, thanks,” she said. He helped her to sit down, then took the one beside her. He looked over at Astra who was still busy in the kitchen area, then leaned closer.
“I’m curious, Tani,” he said, “It was my understanding that Jasani women always mated with Jasani men. How is it that you’re an exception?”
“What makes you think I am?”
“Several things,” he replied. “The most important one being that you allowed me to kiss you.”
“A kiss is not sex.”
“No, it isn’t,” he agreed. “But you, Tanjelia Dracon, would not kiss a man, or allow a man to kiss you, unless it meant something.”
Tani smiled. “No, Ganzorig Khaan, I wouldn’t.” He returned her smile, not too disappointed when Astra called for help carrying dishes. He got up to help her, knowing that he would learn the answers to his questions in time. For now, he knew the one thing he’d most needed to know.
Chapter 4
When Tani awoke the following morning she wasn’t sure if it really was morning or not since the cave had no windows. She turned over on the thick pallet that served as a far more comfortable bed than she’d expected, and glanced toward the entryway. It was mostly covered with a length of fabric, but she could see light beyond it, indicating that Astra was awake.
She sat up, reached for the thick robe and heavy socks Astra had loaned her the night before, and pulled them on. After dinner she’d recovered enough energy to wash her jeans out and hang them before the fire. She wondered if they’d be dry yet. Probably not, she decided. The caves got surprisingly cold at night.
“Good morning,” she said to Astra who sat before the fire, sipping something steamy from a cup.
“Good morning, Tani,” Astra said, smiling at her. “Come and sit. Coffee?”
“Oh yes, lots of it,” Tani said with a grin.
“You didn’t sleep well?” Astra asked, frowning worriedly.
“I slept great,” Tani said. “I just love coffee.”
Astra laughed, a sound she didn’t hear often. In fact, now that she thought about it, she’d heard precious little laughter from any of the Khun. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask Astra why that was, but she stopped herself in time. Perhaps after whatever was left of their friends and families were freed they’d find something to be joyous about.
“Thank you,” Tani said, sitting down on the rug before the fire and accepting a steaming cup. “By the way, how’s your wound? I should have checked it last night and forgot. I’m sorry for that.”
“You were a bit busy last night,” Astra said wryly. “Besides, it’s completely healed. All that’s left is a little red line and I have a feeling that’ll fade in another day or two.”
“That’s amazing,” Tani said, shaking her head. “I just don’t understand how it’s possible for me to just all of a sudden become a healer. It makes no sense to me.”
“How long has it been since you helped out in the clinic on Jasan?” Astra asked.
“Since before we left for New Oxford, so four years…no, four and a half years now.”
“So you were seventeen?”
“Yes,” Tani replied. “A few months short of eighteen.”
“Well, maybe it didn’t start until after you fully matured,” Astra suggested. “Children of the Khun aren’t able to shift until after puberty.”
“Maybe,” Tani said doubtfully. “But even if that’s the answer, it still doesn’t make much sense to me because Jasani females do not wield magic, and healing requires magic.”
“I’m sorry Tani, but I’m out of ideas at the moment,” Astra said.
“That’s all right,” Tani said. “For now, I’ll just count my blessings. When my parents get here, I’ll talk to them about it.”
“That sounds like a good idea to me,” Astra said. “I’m just really grateful that my wound is healed, and I’m sure that Naran is grateful too.”
Tani nodded in agreement just as someone scratched at the heavy leather hide that hung over the cave entrance. Astra looked at her apologetically, but Tani just shrugged, then glanced down at herself, making sure she was decently covered while Astra went to answer the “door”. Her hair was probably standing up all over the place but it usually was, so she didn’t give that much thought.
“You could have let us have a cup of coffee first, Steel,” Astra said mildly.
“I apologize, Astra,” Steel said. “I’m just really anxious and couldn’t wait any longer.”
“Tani?” Astra called, and Tani smiled.
“It’s fine, Astra,” she said, then drank more of her coffee before reaching for the pot and refilling her cup.
“Good morning, Tani,” Steel said, following Astra to the fireplace and taking a cushion between the two women.
“Good morning, Steel,” Tani replied, surprised anew at the intensity of her physical reaction to the man. He was looking sexier than ever in a pair of well-worn and faded jeans that rode low on his hips, and a snug white t-shirt that did nothing to hide the sharply defined muscles of his abdomen. She shivered and tore her eyes away from, lifting her coffe
e closer to her mouth so that the aroma would camouflage his scent.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you so early.”
“I don’t mind,” Tani said, steadfastly keeping her eyes on his face, which was, all by itself, quite enough stimulus to deal with before her second cup of coffee. “You’re worried for your people, and I can’t fault you for that.”
“Thank you,” Steel said. “I thought you’d understand. Were you able to speak with your Aunt last night?”
“I was,” she said. “I gave her the coordinates, and I told her more about the situation here. My parents are more than a week away from EDU-12. I think they’ll stop there first to pick up my sisters since it’s on the way, then come here as quickly as possible after that. My cousin Nica plans to come here too, which is great news. Aunt Glory seemed to think she’d get here soon after my parents based on their current locations.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Steel asked. Tani looked at him in surprise. “Don’t get me wrong, please. Your cousin would be welcome here. It’s just that, well, it’s dangerous here, Tani. This is not a good place for a woman in a pleasure yacht to visit right now. I’ve no doubt that the Nomen would take advantage of her in some way, perhaps try to put one of those controllers in her head.”
Astra opened her mouth, but Tani shot her a quick look so she reached for her mug and remained silent. Steel caught the exchange and frowned.
“Have I said something wrong?” he asked warily.
“Gosh,” Tani said, “let me count the ways.”
Astra snorted, earning a surprised look from Steel. “Pardon me, I swallowed wrong,” she choked out, patting herself on the chest.
“I’m not just wrong, I’m very wrong,” Steel said with a sigh, then looked at Tani. “Go ahead, let me have it.”
Tani grinned, which took the sting out of what came next. “To begin with, Nica is Rani de Alara, which means Queen of the Winged Ones. If you have wings, and she tells you to do something, you’ll do it whether you want to or not.” Steel let out an exaggerated groan, and Tani’s grin widened. “She holds the record for the highest marks of anyone to ever go through the ICARUS Academy, and she’s the one who discovered that the Academy Director had been compromised. Good thing too, since he’d done a few things that had my Dads ready to roast him. Now, is that all?” Tani tapped her chin thoughtfully, then widened her eyes in mock surprise. “Oh yes, I almost forgot, her pleasure yacht just so happens to be the largest, newest, and most powerful ICARUS ship to come out of Jasani’s dockyards. It’s called Nica’s Legacy, and she’s its Commander, with all of the power and authority required to act on ICARUS’s behalf. I kind of doubt that the Nomen want to go up against her, but if they do, I’m confident that she’ll have no trouble kicking their cloned butts.”
“You have to give me credit for one thing,” Steel said. “Nobody can stick their foot in it better than me.”
“Yes, I’m beginning to see that,” Tani said, laughing. “Don’t worry, Steel. Your intentions were honorable, and you had no way of knowing who Nica is. I’m not offended, nor would Nica be.”
“That’s a relief,” he said, shaking his head morosely, but with a smile still playing around his mouth.
“It’s nice to see you smiling again, Cousin,” Astra said. “It’s been a long time.”
Steel sobered. “Yes, it’s been a long time since there’s been anything to smile about.”
Tani watched him for a moment, then reached out and placed one hand lightly on his forearm. “There’s something bothering you beyond the fact that the Nomen have your people,” she said. Steel nodded. “Please tell me.”
Steel looked into her eyes for a long moment, then nodded. “Our women are not as strong as they should be. This world, or this life, perhaps whatever it is that changed us, has not been beneficial to them. Once we were a thousand strong. By the time the Xanti were destroyed, there were only four hundred and eighty two of us left. Fifteen years later, we’d increased that number to five hundred and three. At last count, which was almost a year ago, two hundred fifty nine men, and one hundred thirty three women and children are being held by the Nomen, and I’m including all ages in that number. There are only about forty females here in the caves. We cannot afford to lose even one female, but the youngest and strongest, the ones we need to preserve the most, are in that damned mine being worked to death.
“Our women are our greatest treasure. Without them, the Khun have no future. And yet, I don’t even know how many of them still live. I do know that every single day we have to wait for help is another day that one may die.”
“Then let’s do something about it,” Tani said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, let’s free them.”
“How?”
“I have no idea,” Tani said with a shrug. “But I don’t expect either my parents or my cousin to arrive for at least ten days, maybe longer. Do you want to sit here and wait that long without doing anything?”
“No, I don’t,” he said. “But I don’t know what else we can do.”
“I know a few things about strategic analysis, tracking, stuff like that. If you, or one of your men, can fly while carrying me, I’d like to get a look at the place where your people are being held. Is that possible without too much risk?”
“Yes,” Steel said, tugging on a leather thong he wore around his neck, drawing it up and out from beneath his shirt to show her a small metal device hanging from it. “Khurda used the parts meant for the second Blind Sight to build small units that we can carry on our bodies. They keep us hidden.”
“That’s brilliant,” Tani said, impressed. “After I do a little recon at the mine, I’d like to see the data you’ve collected on their weapons, security systems, and everything else. Then we’ll see what can be done.”
“And if we can’t do anything?” Steel asked.
“Then we’ll wait for the bigger guns to get here,” Tani said. “Until then, do you have something better to do?”
“Not really, no,” Steel said. He finished his coffee and stood up, then bowed. “I will have my men gather the information you requested in the meeting chamber, then I’ll return to take you to the mine after you’ve eaten and dressed. One hour?”
“One hour it is,” Tani said, pleased that he’d be the one to carry her. She’d hoped he would, but hadn’t wanted to ask directly. She watched him leave the cave, wondering if his mahrac would smell the same as his human form did. If it did, she was in for a long day.
After finishing her coffee, Astra got up to fix breakfast while Tani went to get dressed, glad to find that her jeans were actually dry. When they sat down in front of the fire again to eat, Astra decided to ask a question that she’d been curious about since the moment she’d first seen Tani on the New Oxford campus a few days earlier.
“What is it?” Tani asked without looking up from her plate.
“How do you do that?” Astra asked with a smile.
“Don’t you know when someone is staring at you?” Tani asked. Astra thought about that.
“Yes, I suppose I do,” she said slowly. “But I don’t usually trust the feeling. Sometimes when I feel like I’m being watched, I look but don’t see anyone.”
“I was taught to trust my feelings,” Tani said. “They’re not infallible, of course, but more often than not it’s our brain that makes the error, not our feelings.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, let’s say that you suddenly get that feeling, and you think it means that someone is watching you and you look around, but no one is there. You decide that your feelings are wrong, and the next time it happens, maybe you ignore them. That’s a mistake because the feeling you had was real, you felt it, you acted on it, it happened. But you decided what the feeling meant, then looked around to confirm that decision. When you found out that your decision was wrong, you dismissed the feeling, but it wasn’t the feeling that was wrong. It was your interpretation of it.”
“That makes sense,” Astra said. “But, if you feel like someone is watching you, and no one is, what does it mean?”
“That depends on you, Astra. People are different. For me, the feeling I get that someone is watching me usually means that someone is either actually watching me, or is actively looking for me. For Salene the feeling that she’s being watched is always right. If she feels it, there’s someone watching her even if it’s just a bird in a tree. For Rayne, the sensation comes if she’s being watched, or if someone needs her for something.”
“How did you ever figure all that out?”
“It took a long time, a few years actually,” Tani said. “The point is that you should trust your feelings. If your interpretation of those feelings doesn’t work, find the right interpretation, but don’t give up on the feelings just because you can’t figure out what they mean. The more trust you put in them, the more you use them, the better you get at it.”
“I’ll try to remember that, Tani, thank you,” Astra said.
“I’d like to ask you a question, if you don’t mind,” Tani said.
“Don’t mind at all,” Astra said.
“Did you say anything to Steel about the conversation we had in the Stray’s infirmary yesterday?”
“Not a word,” Astra replied. “He didn’t ask either, but if he had, I still wouldn’t have said anything. My interference nearly caused enough trouble. I will not repeat that mistake.”
“Thanks, Astra,” Tani said, smiling brilliantly. “Now, what was it that you wanted to ask me?”
“Oh, I’d almost forgotten. I was just curious about your hair. You and your sisters all had such beautiful long curly hair, and I was wondering why you cut yours.” Tani’s smile faded and Astra blushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry if that was too personal.”
Tani's Destiny (Hearts of ICARUS Book 2) Page 11