Facing me once more, he asked, “You might be pregnant now, but nothing else has really changed, has it?”
There was hope in his question. Yet he wasn’t willing to consider changing his life. The odd thing was, I felt as if my world was changing, and I might have to readjust my priorities to fit those changes. I didn’t know yet what that meant to me and Braden.
“We’re going to have a baby. That’s a huge change.” I stood and went to the rolltop desk by the stairs. Lifting the lid, I took out the pamphlets and brought them to him. We wouldn’t be able to resolve anything else tonight.
As he rose to his feet and took them from me, I said, “We have to learn to trust each other again.”
“Maybe we do. But once trust is broken, it’s not so easy to get it back.” He checked his watch. “I’d better be going.”
When he walked to the door, I followed him. “Thanks for inviting me today.”
The tension between us lessened as he joked, “You didn’t feel outnumbered?”
“Maybe at first.”
“Melissa took a real liking to you.”
“I took a liking to her.”
“Did you miss not being with your family on Christmas?” he asked.
“I spoke to Mom and Dad last night and Jenny this morning.”
Lifting the pamphlets, he asked, “How soon do you have to make a decision on this?”
“Soon.”
“I’m opening the new restaurant in Galloway on New Year’s Eve. The night before we’ll have a run-through for friends and family. Would you like to come?”
This was a milestone for him and I got the impression he’d like me to be there. He was trying to bridge the gap between us, and I wanted to bridge it, too.
“Sure, I’ll come. What time?”
“Around six-thirty, seven o’clock. There might be people there you know. I told my friends they could bring friends.”
“It will become the new hot spot in Galloway.”
“I don’t know about hot spot. I just want plenty of patrons night after night.”
“Same kind of food as Tin Roof number one?”
He laughed. “Same kind of food.”
I hadn’t felt awkward with Braden all day, but now I did, maybe because he’d pulled away from our kiss, maybe because something was happening between us again and neither of us knew exactly what to do about it.
“I’ll see you Friday night.”
Moments later, after a goodbye, he was gone and I knew I’d be counting the days until I saw him again.
TIN ROOF TWO, as I dubbed the new restaurant, was located in a small shopping plaza in the northern end of town. At the restaurant’s end of the lot, parking places were at a premium. Thinking about seeing Braden again made me feel practically giddy. I’d dressed tonight as if dressing for a date in a soft lilac sweater and wool slacks. As I left paperwork on my desk in order to go home and change, I didn’t regret leaving my files instead of taking them with me. Were my priorities changing? Or had I just gotten caught up with seeing and being with Braden again?
When I entered the restaurant, it was almost filled to capacity. Round, plain hardwood tables were accented by wrought-iron chairs. Trestle tables and booths lined the walls of one large room. An archway led into a smaller room. Enlarged photos telling the story of Oklahoma’s history—from cowboys riding the range to oil rigs dotting the peaceful landscape—hung on the walls. The aroma of barbecued ribs, grilled onions and sizzling steak beckoned.
Hanging my coat on a rack in the foyer, I smiled at the maître d’ who was dressed in a white snap-buttoned shirt, black bolo tie and black jeans. He took a menu from a stack on the table beside his podium.
“Will you be meeting anyone here tonight?” he asked, as if that’s what had been going on all evening.
“No.” Unless Braden joined me. I knew he’d be busy. Running a restaurant required so much behind-the-scenes activity. I’d seen that when we’d dated.
After studying his seating chart, the man made a notation and smiled at me. “I’ll see you to your table.”
As I followed him, I looked over the array of people. I wondered if Braden’s family was here but I couldn’t see into the other room. After I was seated, I spotted Braden chatting with a petite woman in a far corner. She had curly red hair that bounced attractively on her shoulders. Was this the redhead Braden had taken to The Nutcracker?
Suddenly the redhead laid her hand on Braden’s forearm. The gesture was familiar. Had they been dating long? Apparently he’d invited her here tonight, too!
I felt like a fool, unreasonably hurt and much too emotional to stay. Why should it matter if I did?
Gathering my purse, I slid out of the booth and headed quickly toward the foyer. The maître d’ wasn’t at his spot so I didn’t have to make explanations. I just grabbed my coat from the rack and left.
Sadness and regret wrapped around me like a blanket. As I entered my town house, I knew why I felt devastated. I loved Braden. I loved him in a way I’d never loved anyone…except maybe the baby growing inside me. When we’d become engaged, time hadn’t tested what I’d felt for him. Now, with over four months apart, it had.
Yet love wasn’t a glue that could hold a relationship together if there wasn’t trust and commitment and unconditional acceptance. What would it take for a man to follow a woman anywhere, not the other way around?
I was in the kitchen pouring myself a glass of milk when my doorbell rang sharply twice. I wondered if it might be my elderly neighbor, wanting to visit.
When I opened the door, however, I was stunned to see Braden. “What are you doing here? You have guests and a restaurant opening—”
“Yes, I do,” he agreed, sober-faced. “But I saw you leave. I was worried. Are you feeling okay? Is the baby all right?”
Calling on as much composure as I could muster, I responded, “It wasn’t the baby. And I’m fine. I just saw you with that…redhead. Have you been dating her?”
“How do you know that?”
“A friend saw you with a redhead at The Nutcracker. She described her. I can’t believe you invited both of us to the Tin Roof tonight!”
“You’re jumping to conclusions,” he returned, looking angry now.
“Did you take her to the ballet?”
“Yes, I did.”
Tears came to my eyes, and I tried to blink them away. I didn’t want him to see how much I hurt.
Suddenly his hands were on my shoulders. “But I didn’t ask her to the restaurant tonight. She came along with a friend. We dated one time. That was it.”
“She’s beautiful. One date? She didn’t go skiing with you?”
“She did not go skiing with me. I went alone. We only had one date because we didn’t have much to talk about. We didn’t have anything in common. We—” He stopped as if he didn’t want to share too much.
Tipping my chin up, he asked, “Don’t you know I’d never put you in a position like that? April, you’re the mother of my child. I’d never hurt you that way.”
“Oh, Braden.”
Bending his head, he kissed me possessively, in a way he’d never kissed me before. His desire was primally hungry and I responded to it instantly without hesitation. As his tongue thoroughly explored my mouth, I held on to him tight. Because if Braden left my life, I’d feel lost in a way I’d never felt lost before. For this moment, I felt found. His kiss wasn’t about the past or about recriminations or consequences. It was about right now and needing each other.
I needed Braden and I held on to him, hoping he needed me, too.
CHAPTER FOUR
BRADEN WAS PROVING he desired me with each stroke of his tongue, each caress of his hand down my back, each erotic movement against me. Tall and muscled and lean, he was hard with desire now. When his hands settled on my backside and he lifted me to him, rockets exploded.
I moaned.
He must have heard that small sound because he let me slide again to the floor. His hand
s tunneled under my sweater, then caught my breasts and stroked them.
Finally he broke away and stared at me. “I want you.”
“I want you, too.” That was all I could say…all I needed to say.
After he lifted my sweater over my head, he made quick work of my bra and then cupped me in his hands. “You’re bigger,” he muttered, his voice thick.
“You like that?” I asked softly, reveling in the way he was looking at me.
“I’ve always liked the way you look,” he answered tightly before he bent to my breast and kissed close to the nipple.
“Oh, Braden,” I murmured again as a shiver skipped through me.
My nipple was instantly hard and as he sucked it, I didn’t think I could stand the pleasure. I laced my fingers in his hair, caressed his neck and wanted his clothes off.
When he raised his head again, he kissed me once more. Somehow we made it the short distance to my living-room carpet, but no farther. Our clothes had left a trail. The sofa wasn’t so far away, yet it seemed too great a distance as he kissed my breast again, my neck and then my navel. When we both collapsed to the floor, the plush carpet was enough of a bed. I don’t think either of us would have cared if it had been a hardwood floor. Nothing else mattered but the desire between us. Nothing else mattered but touching and kissing and belonging again. At least that was the way I felt.
With our clothes strewn around us, Braden’s hands slipped between my thighs to see if I was wet. I was more than wet. I didn’t even have time to feel self-conscious about my thickening waistline as he raised himself on his forearms above me, kissed me once, twice, then smoothly and swiftly thrust inside me.
I felt tears come to my eyes at the completion…at the pleasure…at the wonder of having Braden inside me again. When I lifted my knees, I contracted around him and he shuddered.
“You’ve always made me crazy. You’ve always made me want too much,” he rasped hoarsely as he thrust into me again and again and the meaning of his words eluded me.
I was wrapped up in excitement and passion, sliding my fingers down his slick back when my climax shook me so forcefully, my breath caught in my chest. It was a cascading explosion of need and dreams and pleasure. Never had it been so powerful, so bone-shaking, so deliciously unending.
The pulses of that were still reverberating as Braden’s release came, too. He shuddered in my arms and kissed me as if the world was about to end.
As my body cooled and quieted, I had no idea what might come next. Where would we go from here?
A few seconds later, Braden rolled apart from me and onto his side. “I sure didn’t plan for that to happen tonight.”
I couldn’t read his expression—if he was pleased or frustrated or sorry. “As eventful as opening a new restaurant?” I asked lightly.
Not answering me, he ran his hand down my breast, over my midriff and onto my stomach. His large hand rested there. “Your body’s changing.”
“I know. Sometimes I look in the mirror and imagine how big I’ll be in a few months.”
With a frown he asked, “Do you resent gaining weight? Are you—”
I cut in before he could go on. “No, I don’t resent it. I love this baby, Braden. Whatever changes my body has to go through to make it the best place for him or her, I don’t mind.”
When he looked at me for a long moment, I could see he was weighing the truth of what I’d said.
Hiking himself up on his elbow, he blew out a frustrated breath. “We have to talk, but I don’t want to rush it. I need to get back.”
“I can’t believe you left.”
“I can’t believe I did, either. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.” Rising to his feet, he reached for his clothes.
I picked up my sweater and pulled it over my head, suddenly not wanting to be naked anymore. “When do you want to talk?”
“It’s going to be late, but I could come over after I close the restaurant. You don’t work tomorrow, do you?”
Tomorrow was Saturday. “I have an early meeting with Charlie, because he’s going out of town for a few days.”
“Then we’ll do it some other time,” he responded gruffly.
He’d left his restaurant opening tonight to make sure I was okay. Now I needed to put the two of us—the three of us—first, too. “No. Come back tonight. I don’t need a lot of sleep and I can always get a nap tomorrow after I get home.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” I wanted to find out exactly what Braden was thinking.
After he buckled his belt, he slipped into his shoes and pulled his sweater over his head. Coming over to me, he crouched down. “Are you all right?”
It was sweet of him to ask. “I’m fine.”
Although I wished he would kiss me again, he didn’t. Rather he straightened. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” Moments later he’d left.
Sitting on my living-room floor half-dressed, I wondered if what had just happened had really happened.
When Braden returned, would we make love again?
ALTHOUGH I WAS DISTRACTED, I sat on the sofa reviewing notes I’d taken at a recent meeting. Suddenly I heard a knock and my front door opened. When Braden came in, he said, “You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked.”
As he strode toward the sofa, tall and fit and handsome, I relived what had happened earlier. After Braden had left, I’d showered and pulled on a set of pink sweats. After all, I didn’t want to presume anything when he returned. We did have to talk.
Quickly I made a pile of the papers in my lap and laid them on the coffee table.
“I left it unlocked for you.” Perhaps that was a symbolic gesture. I’d opened my heart to him again, and I hoped he realized that.
“Was tonight successful?” I asked.
Lowering himself beside me, he nodded. “We experienced a few kinks, but hopefully they’ll be worked out before tomorrow night.”
“Ringing in the New Year with a new restaurant. I hope it goes well for you.” I sincerely meant that. I wished Braden nothing but success.
“I hope so, too. I want to leave my son or daughter a legacy. Besides that…” He looked uncomfortable for a moment then went on. “We have to decide about child support. Would you prefer to hire a lawyer to draw up something formal?”
If he was thinking in terms of lawyers, maybe he wasn’t even considering the two of us getting back together. Was I seriously considering it? Did I want a long-distance relationship? Did I want an ongoing affair?
Pushing those questions aside, I admitted, “The idea of a lawyer scares me.” That’s probably why I hadn’t made an appointment with one yet. “Can’t we work this out on our own?”
“I don’t know. As I said before, it will be hard to be a dad long-distance. I’m going to want joint custody…at least.”
A knot wound tight in my stomach. “Even when this baby’s an infant? How can you possibly handle that?”
His shrug was casual, but I could feel his hard body beside me and that it was taut with tension. Was he afraid I’d shut him out altogether and turn this over to a lawyer? Had what happened earlier been a persuasion tactic? I didn’t want to believe that.
“I can take time off when I have to,” he said. “I have a good manager at the restaurant in Oklahoma City. I am in the process of finding one for here. I also know Mom and Carol would be glad to help.”
“And Joan,” I added, thinking about Braden’s family, how close they were, how they could depend on one another.
When he stretched his arm across the back of the sofa and shifted toward me, he reminded me of a man on a mission and I wondered what was coming next.
“Do you realize how much you hold back with me?”
When Braden and I had dated, I’d been lost in the euphoria of new love. Even in that euphoria, though, I’d protected myself. I hadn’t shared my innermost thoughts. Because I’d been afraid he’d use them to hurt me somehow? As my dad had hurt my mother?
He always seemed able to manipulate her into doing whatever he wanted. Because she loved him too much? Or because she’d never learned how to stand up for herself?
“I didn’t hold back tonight,” I said truthfully.
His fingers now rested on my shoulder, stirring the excitement and desire that had exploded between us earlier. “No, you didn’t. And in bed you didn’t hold back. But afterward, I always felt as if you put up a shield when I asked specific questions.”
“What do you want to know?” Opening myself completely to Braden was a risk I had to take.
“I want to know about you, and why you drive yourself so hard. You’ve only told me bits and pieces about your family. Will they be involved with our baby? Will you visit them? Would you trust your mother or sister to take care of an infant?” He sliced his hand in the air in frustration. “I don’t know much about them, except that your mom works with your dad and your sister’s a veterinarian.”
Nights when we’d both worked late, we had fallen into each other’s arms and made love until morning. I’d thought we were communicating by touching. I’d thought making love was showing love. I now realized when we’d been engaged, I’d wanted to keep everything romantic and easy. Maybe I’d thought my fears would push Braden away and being vulnerable to him would take away any power I had.
Now Braden’s hand settled on my shoulder as if to reassure me. “You’ve spent some time with my family and I want to know more about yours. Why didn’t you go home for Christmas? Because you’re pregnant? Have you even told your family you’re pregnant?”
Where did I start? Could I trust Braden to understand? It was suddenly important that he did. “I didn’t go home to Dallas because Mom and Dad went to a resort on San Padre for Christmas. I called them there. And Jenny—”
Braden just waited and I took the jump into sensitive territory. “Jenny worked on Christmas Day.”
From Here To Maternity: A Second ChancePromoted to MomOn Angel's Wings Page 12