I needed his touch so badly…as much as I needed the answers to all my questions. Somehow I believed they were hidden in the stirrings of my heart, which spoke to me whenever Braden made love to me.
I’d taken risks in my professional life but I had rarely taken them in my personal life. When Braden and I had fallen in love last summer, everything had been so easy. Now nothing was easy. I knew I’d have regrets for the rest of my life if I didn’t act on what I was feeling.
“Stay with me tonight?” I asked softly.
From the set of his jaw, I could tell this wasn’t a decision that was easy for him to make.
I had risked my pride and now I was embarrassed. Crawling into bed, I pulled the covers up to my chin. “Never mind. Thanks for supper. I’m sure I’ll wake up in a few hours ravenous.”
I expected him to leave. Instead, he just stood there, and I braced myself because I knew I probably wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
CHAPTER SIX
“DON’T YOU THINK we should talk about your trip to L.A.?” Braden asked.
On the flight back to Oklahoma, I’d been thinking about the trip and everything this job would entail—the hours, the workload, the commitment and the responsibility. I’d also been considering my new responsibilities to my baby.
“Let’s not talk tonight,” I suggested. Whether Braden left or he stayed, I wasn’t ready to line up the pros and cons or make a decision.
His guarded stance seemed to ebb away and I saw the sparks of desire in his eyes as they’d been there the night we’d first made love…the sparks that had been there all those nights before our engagement had ended. After he lowered himself to the bed, he cupped my chin in his palm and kissed me—a hard, sensually arousing kiss.
Breaking away, he shook his head. “This won’t solve anything.”
I knew he was right, but I wanted tonight anyway.
When I was still silent, he swore and then kissed me again. That kiss tore down the dam on any restraint either of us might have had. Minutes later, my caftan was on the floor beside his clothes and he was running his hand over me, erotically discovering all the changes. He was so tender with me, so unhurried and gentle. With each stroke of his hand, I fell deeper and deeper in love with him. After he reverently kissed my breasts and laved the nipples, I felt tears come to my eyes because I wanted Braden in bed beside me every night.
Our bodies glistened from foreplay, our breathing came faster from passion, our tongues mated and danced while our hands explored. Nothing else existed but the two of us right here…right now. Soon neither of us could wait a moment longer. As we lay face-to-face, Braden drew my leg over his hip. I knew he was choosing this position to make sure I was comfortable…to protect me.
Slowly I guided him inside me. When he groaned, I rubbed his nipple with my thumb, wanting to give him even more pleasure. As he ran his hand over my back, I contracted around him. Our climaxes built as we rocked together and our bodies knew ecstasy simultaneously. He shuddered. My orgasm seemed to go on and on until I finally kissed his neck and he held me tight.
Neither of us moved. We just breathed in each other’s scent and marveled at the unity we felt. At least I hoped that was what Braden was feeling, too.
We stayed joined, and he brushed my hair from my forehead. “Do you want me to stay the night?”
“Yes.”
As he caressed my cheek, he kissed me and then asked, “What now?”
“I don’t know.” I thought he might list all the reasons I should stay in Galloway, but he didn’t.
“The coming week is going to be a bull,” he muttered. “The food critic’s going to be coming and I have to be at the restaurant every night to make sure I’m there when he makes an appearance.”
“I understand.” I took one of those risks again. “But you have to sleep somewhere…sometime.”
“Yes, I do.” Quiet for a few moments, he finally said, “Carol and Joel are going away overnight this weekend to an inn in Tulsa. I told them I’d stay with Melissa. How would you like to keep us company tomorrow and Sunday?”
Thinking about Carol and her attitude toward me, I asked, “Do you think that would be all right with Carol and Joel?”
“Knowing Carol, it will be fine as long as we sleep in separate bedrooms.”
“She has to set a standard for Melissa.” I didn’t disagree with Carol’s thinking.
“Yes, I guess she does. Do you want to come?”
“I’d like to keep you company.”
As Braden ran his hand over my shoulder and down my arm, I felt him stir again inside me. I knew from experience that he had stamina. I also knew I could keep up with it.
“You need to sleep,” he murmured, starting to pull away.
Feeling so much love I had to express it, I tightened my arms around his neck. “I need you more.”
When Braden kissed me, I gave myself up to the chemistry between us. I gave myself up to my love for him. No matter what decision I came to, I knew Braden would always own my heart.
WHEN BRADEN AND I picked up Melissa after her piano lesson on Saturday afternoon as prearranged, she climbed into Braden’s SUV with a wide grin. “I told Mom I didn’t need a babysitter, but the weekend might be great with you two. What are we going to do?”
Braden laughed. “We have to ‘do’ something?”
“We could go shopping,” she offered innocently.
Shifting in my seat, I gazed at Melissa in the back. “We didn’t clear that with your mom and I hate to bother her on her getaway.” At Melissa’s frown I hurried on, “But I brought along one of my cosmetics kits. We could dabble with that tonight.”
A worried expression crossed the teenager’s face, but just as quickly it was gone and I thought I had imagined it. “That will be great.” She flipped her hand through her long hair. “And maybe we could find a new style for this. What do you think?”
“I think I’m going to be in the way,” Braden grumbled.
“No, you won’t be in the way,” I teased him. “You can buy the pizza for supper.”
“Or I could take a run to the restaurant and bring back real food,” he offered.
“Do you need to check in?” I asked.
“Not necessarily. I hired a manager who knows what he’s doing. I can’t be two places at once, so I have to let go of the hands-on management somewhat.”
“I’d rather have pizza,” Melissa informed us. “Mom’s watching her carbs and we never order it anymore.”
“Pizza it is,” Braden agreed.
At Carol’s house a short time later, I admired its precise, just-cleaned look. The cherry-wood furniture was beautiful. The rooms were spacious, the fabric on the love seat and sofa as well as the window treatment were fine quality. As Melissa showed me to her room, I saw it was a little girl’s dream, all white organdy and pink roses and a white canopy bed. But there was something incongruous about it and I soon figured out what it was. The dolls and stuffed toys on a set of bookshelves as well as the frilly and flowery decorations on the walls didn’t give the impression that this was a teenager’s room.
There was a CD player on the dresser. After I placed the large cosmetics case on the bed, I looked through the CDs.
“I don’t have my good ones there,” Melissa told me.
The CDs in the small rack were mostly classical.
Crossing to a closet, Melissa disappeared inside. A few moments later, she reappeared with a shoe box. As she sat on the bed cross-legged, she flipped off the lid. Inside was an assortment of music, mostly from male pop idols.
“When do you play them?” I asked.
“I have a portable player with earphones. I also dig them out when Mom’s not around. Dad wouldn’t have a clue as to who’s singing what, so I don’t have to worry about him telling me I should be listening to something more worthwhile.”
“What else do you have stashed in there?” I asked teasingly.
Her face flushing, she asked, “How
did you know?”
“Just a guess.”
For the next half hour, she showed me teen magazines and posters of heartthrobs. I had to wonder if Carol really knew her daughter at all.
Melissa was telling me about a concert she’d like to go to when Braden poked his head into the room. “Ready for pizza?”
“Sure,” she answered him. “Then April and I can spend the rest of the night on makeup and nail polish and everything else.”
When Braden gazed at me shoulder to shoulder on the bed with Melissa, my legs crossed like hers, a warm look came into his eyes.
Out of nowhere, Melissa asked, “Are you two sleeping together tonight?”
There was no doubt in my mind what the answer should be to that inquiry, but before I could answer, Braden’s expression grew serious. “That’s not a question you should ask.”
Unruffled, Melissa shrugged. “I just wondered. I don’t care. Since April’s pregnant and all, why wouldn’t you?”
“We’re sleeping in separate rooms tonight,” I replied. “Your mom prefers that and this is her house.”
“She’s got so-o-o many rules,” Melissa complained.
“Don’t you know that’s what parents are for?” Braden joked. “To make up rules that irritate kids.”
Melissa smiled then. “Well, mine do a good job of it.”
When Braden and I exchanged a look, I knew that he, like me, could see both sides. Being a parent would never be easy. And raising a child alone…
I’d rather have Braden by my side and not miles away it seemed, and I found I was seriously considering not taking the promotion in Los Angeles. This was the first I’d admitted that to myself. There were so many reasons to stay in Galloway, not only so our baby would have two parents close by, but because I loved Braden. If I stayed, maybe we could build on what we’d clearly had in the beginning.
When he left the room to order pizza, Melissa turned to me. “Are you going to marry Uncle Braden?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, understanding now that Braden’s proposal might be what I was waiting for in order to make my decision. The question was, would he ask me again and risk being turned down? Up until now, my career had been more important than our relationship.
During the evening, Melissa and I had fun. When she got her first look at everything in my kit—eyeshadow, lip glosses and lipsticks, nail polishes and lotions, she giggled. “I want to try it all.”
“You can try it all,” I assured her with a laugh. “But remember, I work for Natural Beauty. We believe in enhancing a woman’s own look, not turning her into someone else. That’s especially true for someone your age.”
When Melissa frowned, I wondered what she was thinking, but then she smiled at me with thirteen-year-old enthusiasm. “Let’s get started.”
Her hair took no time at all. We found curlers in the linen closet and used them. Long ago I’d learned a trick of using a curling iron, then setting my hair in rollers. The heat helped hold the wave. Melissa took note of all of it. When we got to the makeup, she played with some different colors and then washed them all off. I showed her how to use foundation to cover imperfections. Smoothing a bit of plum shadow on her eyelids, I taught her how to make her eyes look larger. Afterward, I applied a touch of blush that looked natural, then she chose a pretty mauve lip gloss.
“Can we take some pictures with my camera?” she asked. “We can print them out on the computer, then I can show my friends. They won’t believe it’s me.”
“Sure they will. It’s just a dressed-up you.”
“Are you sure I don’t need mascara?”
“I’m positive. Your dark lashes are beautiful, just as they are. Remember, natural is what matters.”
“Can you do my nails?”
I checked the clock. “It’s getting late. Why don’t we take some pictures and do your nails in the morning? We can always reset your hair and apply makeup again tomorrow if you want.”
“No,” she said quickly. “I mean…we can do my hair again and then my nails. We don’t have to do makeup.”
“All right. I think Braden would probably appreciate a home-cooked breakfast. How are you at scrambled eggs?”
“I’m great at scrambled eggs. How are you at pancakes?”
I laughed. “I’m great at pancakes.”
After we’d taken pictures and gotten a snack with Braden, Melissa turned in for the night. I heard the CD player—a boy band playing in the background.
When I returned to the living room, Braden switched off the TV and patted the sofa next to him. My heart started jumping because I could see in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me. We hadn’t been physically close all day and even though I’d spent my time mostly with Melissa, I felt as if Braden and I had been emotionally close.
As soon as I sank onto the sofa cushion, he put his arm around me. “You’re going to make a terrific mom.”
“Because I can relate to Melissa?”
“It’s not just Melissa. On Christmas Day I watched you with little Danny and Darcy, too. You like kids, don’t you?”
“Sure, doesn’t everybody?”
“Absolutely not. Sometimes when families come into the restaurant, I see expressions on diners nearby. They don’t want to be anywhere around kids.”
I shrugged. “Melissa’s wonderful. I can’t help but love being around her. But—” I wasn’t sure I should go on or not.
“But?” Braden prompted.
“I get the feeling if Carol doesn’t loosen her restrictions a little, Melissa could rebel.”
“You’re probably right about that.” He bent his head close to me. “I don’t want to talk about my sister.”
Amused, I tilted my face up to his. “What do you want to talk about?”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “I’d rather not talk at all. In fact, I’m damn sorry I told Carol we’d sleep in separate bedrooms.”
“It’s the right thing to do for tonight.”
“And what about tomorrow night?” he asked and my heart began singing.
“You want to have a sleepover at my house?” I kidded, afraid to hope he wanted a whole lot more.
“A sleepover. Now there’s a thought. How about if we stop at that little gourmet shop and pick up chocolate-covered strawberries?”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Maybe if we took our time making love, maybe if we spent that intimate time together, Braden would admit he still had feelings for me…that he still loved me. If he was trying to convince me to stay in Galloway, he was doing a great job of it. I just had to make sure that having sex was more than convenient physical fulfillment for him…that having sex was more than a way for him to secure rights to his baby.
However, when Braden’s lips covered mine, I forgot about questions and doubts and decisions I had to make. His kiss and his touch filled my world. I knew we wouldn’t be going to our separate rooms until much later.
MAKING BRUNCH with Melissa and Braden gave me a sense of family I hadn’t had for a very long time. Braden helped, frying the bacon, while Melissa scrambled eggs and I made pancakes on an electric griddle. The three of us laughed and teased and talked seriously about what Melissa might want to major in at college.
While Braden and I still sat at the table talking, Melissa printed out the pictures from her digital camera and brought them back to the kitchen. She looked absolutely adorable. We’d taken some photos with a hat, others without, some with sunglasses perched on top of her head, others with her just grinning into the camera.
“You look terrific,” I said again.
“The kids won’t believe it’s me.”
“They’ll believe it’s you,” Braden assured her.
Just then the front door opened. Braden’s sister called, “We’re home.”
Melissa froze and I didn’t understand her stricken expression. “I didn’t think they’d be home yet.”
The pages of photographs were spread across the table, and she quickly
began brushing them into a pile.
“Something smells good in here,” Melissa’s father said as he and his wife came into the kitchen.
“Brunch,” I responded lightly.
“We have a few leftover pancakes if you’re interested,” Braden joked.
Although Melissa had picked up most of the sheets of glossy photographic paper, there was still one by my place and Braden was holding one in his hand.
“What have you got there?” Carol asked, taking off her jacket and hanging it on a hook by the door.
As she crossed the kitchen to peer over Melissa’s shoulder, her daughter dropped her hand with the photographs to her side. “Nothing.”
I wondered why Melissa was reluctant to show them to Carol.
“We were just having some fun,” I offered.
Now Carol picked up the loose photograph on the table and her expression changed from politely friendly to downright angry. “What is this?”
I didn’t understand why Melissa looked so miserable and her mother so disturbed. “I brought a cosmetics kit along last night. Melissa and I just spent some girl-time having fun with it. She asked if we could take some pictures with her camera to show her friends, so that’s what we did. She just printed them out.”
“Melissa knows I’ve forbidden her to wear makeup until she’s fourteen. Did she tell you that?”
Melissa’s face flushed and her stance was defiant. She answered Carol before I could. “No, I didn’t, Mom. Because it’s another one of your stupid rules. Do you think I don’t carry lip gloss to school in my pocket? Do you think I don’t borrow eye shadow and blush from Kristi and then wash it all off before I come home? Kristi’s mom understands that she wants to look pretty and she’s not a baby anymore. April was great last night. We had so much fun. Why can’t you be like that?”
“Melissa,” Joel warned sharply.
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