by Rye Hart
“No, no, no. This one takes the cake,” she said.
“Did you meet another guy?” I asked.
“Yes, I did. But I didn’t meet him off Tinder.”
“OkCupid?” I asked.
“Nope.”
“Plentyoffish?” I asked.
“Nu-uh. I met him here.”
“Here, as in … downtown?” I asked.
“No, here as in the store, Cindy.”
“You hit on one of your customers?”
“Not just any customer. One of the hottest men I’d ever seen. And he wasn’t from around here. I didn’t recognize him at all,” she said.
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Honey blonde hair and gorgeous hazel eyes. Had a couple of cute little dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. Just the right amount of boyish innocence before he flashed me that devilish grin of his. Oh, and his lips. Pillowy and inviting. He had me all sorts of hot and bothered.”
“You’re relentless, Nikki.”
“Unfortunately, he’s from out of town. Says he passes through every once in a while, to visit a friend or something. I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“You weren’t paying attention to the hot guy with boyish charm?” I asked.
“If you would’ve seen his lips, you would’ve understood. I was ready to sit on those things.”
“Nicole!”
“What? He’s got that confidence, you know? He knows he can throw it around in bed, and I wouldn’t mind taking that carnival ride for a spin.”
“Did you have sex with him in the back room or something?” I asked. “Because I’m not going back there until you disinfect.”
“What kind of woman do you take me for, Cindy? Dinner and drinks first. I enjoy a little conversation before my sentences get all breathy and choppy.”
I giggled and shook my head as I stored my purse away underneath the counter.
“We exchanged numbers,” Nicole said. “Apparently, he’s all about phone sex.”
“You mean sending dirty pictures,” I said.
“Those too. But he said he really enjoys Skyping while a woman pleasures herself. That’s something I haven’t done yet, and it got my gears grinding.”
“Wow. A man who likes something you haven’t done yet. Sounds like a temporary match made in limbo.”
“You’re a dick, you know that? You can’t even be happy for your best friend.”
“Of course, I’m happy for you. I’m sorry. It’s just, you do sort of have a flavor-of-the-month thing going on in your life. You know, for the past five years,” I said.
“Can’t a girl enjoy what the world has to offer?” she asked.
“Sure? Why not?” I asked with a grin. “Ready to hear about my weekend?”
“Ready and waiting.”
“I met my neighbor.”
“Get out! The douche?” she asked.
“No, Nikki. He’s not a douche. His name’s Graham.”
“Ah, so the asshole has a name.”
“He’s not an asshole either.”
“That’s not what just about everyone in town is saying,” she said.
“Well, it’s what I say. Lily fell and skinned her knee on her bike, and he came running out after her.”
“What?” she asked.
“Yeah. Said he had medical training and checked her out. Made sure her knee wasn’t dislocated. Things like that. He’s not as rough as everyone says.”
“Hmmmm.”
“I’m telling you, it’s a front.”
“You sound very confident in yourself. Did you get that security system?” she asked.
“No, I did not shell out money I don’t have for a security system.”
“Consider this my PSA plug for the security system.”
“Duly noted. But anyway, I baked him cookies to thank him and took Lily over to officially meet him.”
“Would you date him?” she asked.
“Good Lord, Nikki.”
“Answer the question.”
“It’s too early for something like that. Come on now. It’s only been a year.”
“It’s okay to think about it, Cindy. That’s all. I’m not asking you if you would now. I’m asking you if you would if you were ready.”
“I’m not talking about it,” I said.
“It’s okay if you want to. Seriously. You know that, right?” she asked.
“Well, I don’t. So get off it.”
“He’s good with kids. That’s a plus.”
“I’m gonna slap you.”
“And as your boss, I’d have to fire you,” she said.
“But as my best friend, you wouldn’t because you know you’re pressing an uncomfortable topic,” I said.
“Fine, I give. Ready for your work assignment?”
Nicole rattled off all the things she wanted me to do, and I got to work. But her question still lingered in my mind. I didn’t know if I was ever going to be ready for something like that. Bradley had been the love of my life. He protected his country and provided for his family. He gave me Lillian, the greatest gift I could’ve ever received. No man on this planet could top something like that.
But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t ever go out on a date with the man someday.
Graham was rough around the edges, but who wasn’t? Deep down, I knew a good man was in there, a broken man who hurt like I did. And his features were striking, ocean blue eyes and sun-kissed skin, hands that were calloused from hard work and strong forearms that had cradled my daughter’s leg with care.
I shook thoughts of him away as I got to work.
After five hours of stocking shelves, taking inventory, and receiving new things to drop in the storage closet to clean off, it was time for me to go. I had to get Lily from school and then it would be time for dinner.
“Guess what I did at school today?”
“What?” I asked.
“I played hide-and-seek, and no one could find me.”
“Wow, that’s awesome. Where were you hiding?” I asked.
“Behind a bush. No one checked behind the bushes. I think it was because of all the thorns.”
“What?” I asked.
I came to a stop at a stoplight and looked back at Lily. Her legs were moving a thousand miles a second as she told her hide-and-seek story, but I could still see the small cuts and scrapes as her leggings kept creeping up her legs. I sighed and shook my head as I drew in a deep breath. Lily was such a rough and tumble girl. I’d have to clean up her legs when we got home and make sure none of the cuts were too bad.
I’d then make certain to call the school and ask why no one informed me of the cuts on my daughter’s legs.
I pulled into the driveway and took Lily inside. I took her into the bathroom and cleaned up her legs, listening as she rattled on about her day painting and playing with the class turtle and trying to dye it red. I shook my head as I listened to her, running a cool wet washcloth over her legs.
Most of the scrapes were topical. A few of them were scabbed over, but none of them were deep.
“How about from now on, we keep our hide-and-seek place away from the thorny bushes?” I asked.
“But that was the best hiding spot, Mommy.”
“I know, I know. But your legs are pretty scraped up.”
“They don’t hurt.”
“It doesn’t matter. Even a little scrape can get infected if it’s not dealt with right away.”
“I don’t want an infection.”
“Then, stay away from the bushes. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I picked Lily off the bathroom counter and placed her on her feet. She took off for her room, destroying it in a whirlwind as I went to start dinner. I cooked up the macaroni and cheese and grilled up some vegetables for us to eat.
I always tried to make sure we ate dinner at the table. It was something Bradley had been adamant about. His family always had their family time around the dinner table i
n the evenings to talk about their days, and I wanted to keep some of those traditions alive. Lily’s feet swung at the table as she devoured her dinner, scarfing down her macaroni and stuffing her face full of red peppers.
“Slow down there, booger. You’re going to choke yourself.”
“But I’m so hungry,” Lily said with a full mouth. “And it tastes so good.”
“I’m glad you like it,” I said, giggling. “There’s more macaroni and cheese if you want it.”
The doorbell ringing caused me to furrow my brow. Who in the world was coming over in the middle of dinner? I got up and opened the door, expecting to see Nicole or Paul on the other side.
But instead, there was a pizza delivery man.
“An extra-large, three-meat pizza, a ten-inch round of cheesy bread, and a two-liter of Coke?”
“Mom! You ordered pizza?” Lily asked.
“No, no, I didn’t,” I said.
“Hey! You!”
I stuck my head out and saw Graham trotting across our lawn.
“The pizza’s not for her. It’s for me,” Graham said.
“No pizza?” Lily asked.
“You just got done eating dinner. And the pizza’s not for us,” I said.
“Here’s your money,” Graham said. “I’ll take that from you.”
“Could I please have some pizza?” Lily asked.
“No, ma’am,” I said. “You don’t ask for other people’s food after you’ve just had yours.”
I looked back at Graham and I saw that his eyes were gazing at my daughter. I looked between the two of them as Lily’s eyes watered over. I shook my head and sighed, preparing to apologize for my daughter’s manipulation tactic.
But as I looked back at Graham, I thought I saw his cheek twitch.
“Sure. You can have a slice,” Graham said.
“What?” I asked.
“Yay! Pizza!” Lily said.
My daughter grabbed onto my hand and dragged me back into the house. Before I knew what was happening, Graham had stepped in and pulled the door shut behind him. Lily pulled me into the kitchen chattering to Graham the whole time.
He turned and looked at me.
“Would you like a slice?” Graham asked.
“No, thanks. I made macaroni and cheese for us,” I said.
“Help yourself to one if you get hungry. There’s also cheesy bread,” he said.
“Mom, could I have some soda?” Lily asked.
“It’s too late for soda,” Graham said. “You should have milk or water.”
I furrowed my brow at his comment. It simply flew out of his mouth like the automated response of a parent.
I sat down by Lily at the kitchen table, my eyes taking him in. He continued to talk with my daughter and even went so far as to ask about her school day. She talked to him about her game and showed him her scraped up legs and, with the delicacy he showed over the weekend, he looked at her legs. Turned them over in his hands as he ran his eyes along her scrapes and cuts.
His eyes rose up to mine, and something passed between the two of us. His gaze held mine longer than normal, and I could feel my foot moving toward his underneath the table. Our toes bumped, and it caused me to jump, but he didn’t move his foot back. Every time I looked over at him, his eyes were on me. Studying me. Taking me in.
And his foot never moved away from mine.
“Have you been around kids before?” I asked.
That was when his foot moved swiftly away from mine underneath the table.
“I only ask because you seem to be really good with Lily,” I said.
“Do you have kids?” Lily asked. “Oh, could I play with them?”
His eyes slowly panned from Lily to me, and the mind-numbing stare had turned into one filled with pain. He was trying to cover it up, trying to stuff it down like I did so many times during the week. I’d hit a sore spot.
“Anyway, it doesn't matter,” I said. “Thank you for sharing your pizza. I’m not sure if I could’ve gotten Lily to get off the subject had you not.”
“No problem,” Graham said.
My eyes fell to the movements of his hand as he picked up his pizza. He moved with purpose. Every motion was never too grand or too subtle. He didn’t move like he was trying to get attention, and he didn’t talk as if he was trying to command a room. He was naturally commanding. Naturally attractive. Naturally good with the things around him.
Maybe in another lifetime, I would’ve dated him.
But there were rumors around town circulating toward me.
Mostly from Nicole, but in some other places too. There were people who thought he had a family he had abandoned when he moved here. But seeing how good he was with Lily and how tender he was in his interactions with her, I wasn’t sure I believed it. There was a kindness in his eyes I’d caught a glimpse of, a kindness and sincerity that made me trust him even though I didn’t know why.
I stretched my legs, trying to stifle my tired yawn as Lily finished up her slice of pizza. I stretched out my legs, accidentally kicking him underneath the table before pulling back into myself.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “Are you okay?”
But instead of responding, I felt something graze the side of my foot, something warm and inviting and innately strong.
His foot rested against mine again.
CHAPTER 8
GRAHAM
I kept thinking about dinner last night and how Cindy and Lily and I had eaten pizza like it was a normal thing. I thought about how hard it had been to keep my eyes off Cindy and how nice it was not to be alone. Cindy was a beautiful woman, and her daughter had her features except their eyes were different colors. Lily had sky blue eyes, and Cindy had these deep emerald ones. It was hard for me to not stare into them, get lost in them, and relish how it felt to be looked at by a beautiful woman again.
It was shameful, how I was feeling.
I was putting my own needs above those around me.
I was dangerous and so was my life.
I worked a short shift that morning and then went home to clean up. The work on my truck was almost done, and I was ready to finish it up. Every time I rolled my body underneath the damn thing, I thought about my son and about how much he loved putting his stomach on the rolling pad and rushing around my workbench. I shook my head as I cleaned myself off in the shower, watching the car grease swirl down the drain.
I needed to push Cindy and Lily away.
It was the only thing that would get me back on track.
A knock sounded at my door as I pulled a shirt over my head. My hair was still dripping, and my skin was still damp. I held my breath to see if the person would go away. It was probably some door-to-door evangelist or something coming to save my soul from some sort of eternal damnation.
Fuck that. There was no saving my soul.
I’d lost it in a hospital hallway a while ago now.
The knock came again, and I rolled my eyes. Who the fuck didn’t take the damn hint? I reached for my gun on the kitchen table and walked to the door, ready to stick it in the face of whoever was there.
Then, that sweet voice wafted through the wood.
“Graham, are you there?”
I put the gun away and opened the door to find Cindy standing on my porch. Her auburn hair was down around her shoulders and catching the light breeze. It fluttered around her neck, drawing my eyes to her milky skin. I could feel her stare on me, dancing around my shoulders and taking in the way the water was dripping from my hair to my ears.
“Did I interrupt something?” she asked.
“Just got out of the shower. Everything okay?” I asked.
“I, um …”
Her eyes fell to my chest, and I watched her cheeks flush.
“I wanted you to come over for dinner tonight,” Cindy said.
“Can’t,” I said.
“Let me rephrase that. I want to cook you dinner to repay you for sharing your pizza with Lily.”
; “That wasn’t a big deal,” I said. “You don’t have to cook me dinner for that.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”
“I can’t tonight,” I said.
“Tomorrow night maybe?” she asked.
“It was really nothing.”
“Please, let me repay you. I don’t like being in anyone’s debt.”
“It was a slice of pizza. If you’re that concerned about it, I’ll take three dollars,” I said, trying hard to keep the edge out of my voice.
“Or you can let me cook you dinner, and you can come over and eat it,” she said, a hint of annoyance in her own words.
“You’re not backing down from this, are you?”
“I can cook and bring it over, or you can come over and sit at our table. Your choice.”
I bit down on the edge of my cheek and sighed. She was relentless, but there was a fire behind her eyes I found myself enjoying. A woman who didn’t back down was a special kind of woman.
I shook the thought away as quickly as it had popped up.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll come over tonight.”
“Five o’clock. I’ll let Lily know, so if you don’t show up, she can come running.”
“You’d really send your kid over here to get me?” I asked.
“If you think I’m bad, you haven’t experienced the worst of Lily yet.”
I felt my lips wanting to grin as I watched her walk across the lawn.
Fuck.
What the hell was I getting myself into? I looked around to make sure we weren’t being watched and then sighed as I shut my door. I reached for my gun, stuffed it in the back band of my jeans, and went looking for my jacket.
I took one final look at myself in the mirror before I headed over to the house. Lily was standing on the porch, waving at me and smiling. She came running at me and wrapped her arms around my leg, so I picked her up and carried her in the house.
“This belong to you?” I asked.
“Eh, some days. You can put her down on the couch,” Cindy said.
I tossed Lily onto the couch, and she giggled furiously.
“Again! Please?”
She scrambled into my arms, and we did it a few more times. Her hair bounced around in her little curls, and her legs flailed every time she hit the cushions. She was full of energy and was bright as the sun, and it filled my chest with an aching happiness. I used to play that game with my son, and he’d loved it just like Lily did. Tossing her into the air and listening to her giggle brought back the best of memories, but in the pit of my gut, it hurt.