by Rye Hart
“I am. You?” I asked.
“Yep. It’s a part-time gig, but it gets me through until I’m at a place to do what I really want.”
“Which is?”
“Open up my own bed and breakfast.”
“Why don’t you do that now?” I asked.
“Because I have other immediate responsibilities that don’t involve taking out a loan for another house,” she said.
She grabbed her coffee and put the straw to her lips. I watched her suck on it, my mind racing back to the image of her lips wrapped around my cock. A pang of guilt shot through my system, and I dropped my eyes, leaning against the counter while I waited.
What the hell was going on with me?
“You know I still feel bad for hitting your car.”
“Have you gotten it fixed yet?” I asked, waving her off.
“Not yet. I’ve got a little bit of topical work to it, but the taillight is still out.”
“That’s not the safest thing to have not working,” I said.
“When I can afford it, I’ll take care of it,” she said.
“Why don’t you let me take a look at it? See what I can do.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Graham.”
“I’m a mechanic.”
“And I’m a woman who can’t pay,” she said.
“Your rear bumper’s practically dragging on the ground.”
“No, it’s not. It’s … lightly wafting in the breeze.”
I stood there bantering with her as my gut filled with guilt. I couldn’t be enjoying this as much as I was. I was quickly losing sight of why I was in Oregon in the first damn place. I was on the run, a fugitive, of sorts. I had people who wanted me in DC, and people who wanted me six feet under. They would stop at nothing until they found me, and if they saw me interacting with Cindy this way, they would find leverage through her. And Lily.
Leverage I couldn’t afford to let them have.
“Fine. Okay,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll come by after work and get it into the shop. I’ll give you a loaner car until it’s done,” I said.
“You want to take it tonight?” she asked.
“The quicker we can get it repaired, the better,” I said. “Don’t worry. I won’t strand you without a car.”
“Okay then. I’ll be ready with the keys this afternoon.”
I headed on to work with thoughts of Cindy swirling around in my head. I shouldn't be thinking about her. It was detrimental to my focus. But I couldn't deny how much I enjoyed her company, how captivating she was, and how her smile seemed to expose me to a light I hadn’t felt in years. I went through my day, working on cars and fielding stupid ass questions from idiotic vehicle owners until I wanted to burst.
Every time I felt myself getting angry, I would hear her laughter echo off the corners of my mind.
Work dragged on, but Cindy’s memory helped. I made a decent chunk of change that day to take home with me and stuffed it in a safe I kept in the back of my closet.
Having a bank account in my name wasn’t a good thing. Even though I was using an alias, the CIA had ways of tracking things that would blow the public’s mind if they ever found out.
I took a shower and washed myself off, and thoughts of Cindy kept bombarding me. I needed to find a distraction. I needed to get my mind off her. I dried myself off and put on some clothes, trying to shake her from my mind.
Then, I picked up my phone and decided a call to Daniel might help.
“My man! Twice in the span of a week and a half. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“You’re a drama queen, you know that?” I asked.
“Only because I have found the newest love of my life,” Daniel said.
“What’s her name?” I asked.
“Nicole. And she’s got the most beautiful set of tits on the West Coast.”
“Uh-huh. This the stripper?”
“No. That was Nikki. Different girl.”
“Right. So where’d you meet this girl?”
“In your town, actually. I went by this place I heard some locals talking about. Nicole’s Novelties. I was looking for a set of neon lights to go underneath my car, and I figured that was a good place to start looking.”
“Uh-huh. Why don’t I believe you?” I asked.
“Because you never do. Not my fault you have trust issues.”
“So, she’s got nice tits.”
“And comes like a beauty.”
“You’ve slept with her already?”
“No, that’s the thing. We just text back and forth. Skype. Things like that. Oh, it’s great. She’s busy during the day, so I don’t have to always text her, and she gets in the shower after work and calls. It’s fabulous. Low maintenance and sexy as hell.”
“Sounds like your perfect relationship,” I said.
“Hardly a relationship, but whatever.”
“You know how you told me to go out and make friends?” I asked.
“Oh, shit. Who did you kill?”
“Asshole. I didn’t kill anyone. But I kind of befriended my neighbor and her daughter. Somewhat.”
“No shit. Seriously? What's her name? Is she hot? How old’s her daughter?”
“Her name’s Cindy, and she’s pretty. Sure. Her daughter’s five, I think. Name’s Lily.”
“Wait. Cindy and Lillian?”
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
“Do you know them?” I asked.
“Does Cindy have, like … oh fuck, hold on. Let me pull up the message.”
I heard Daniel clicking through his phone as I sat on the edge of my seat.
“Does Cindy have ‘dark red hair and a twin for a daughter’?”
“Wait, where the fuck’s this coming from?” I asked.
“Nicole. It was a conversation we had a few days ago. I asked her how work went, and she said it was a slow day for her and her employee. Went on and on about how her best friend needed a job so she gave her one and all that shit. I told her that was good. Cool. Good friend and all that shit. And she said, ‘Yeah. She’s a good person. I’m glad I could help. Maybe you’ve seen her around town. She’s got dark red hair and a twin for a daughter.’”
“The girl you’re seeing is friends with Cindy?” I said.
“Oh, shit. You think Cindy’s seen my dick? Nicole strikes me as that kind of girl,” he said.
“Cindy doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl. I think your dick is safe.”
“Does your Cindy work?”
“Part-time, yeah,” I said.
Daniel started laughing over the phone as I groaned.
“We’re dating best friends, Graham.”
“Cindy and I aren’t dating. I said I made a friend. Sort of.”
“You said she was pretty.”
“That doesn’t mean I wanna fuck her, Daniel.”
“I haven’t heard you refer to any woman at all since—”
The phone call went silent as I fell back onto my bed. Guilt began to trickle down to my toes as I closed my eyes. All of this was so wrong. Every single part of it. I was a dangerous man with a dangerous past who had interacted with dangerous criminals, and here I was trying to act like my life was something suitable for a woman and a child. It obviously wasn’t. My life had taken my own fucking family away from me.
I needed to end this shit before it went any further.
“I gotta go, Daniel.”
“Graham, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things weird,” he said.
“You didn’t. I’m tired. I’ll talk to you later.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it across the room. I slipped underneath the covers and closed my eyes, ready for sleep to wipe this day away. But, the minute I closed my eyes, I saw Cindy with her beautiful legs and her flowing hair and her light-hearted smile.
And she haunted me all night.
CHAPTER 13
CINDY
“Morning, sunshine.”
&n
bsp; “Shh, not so loud,” I said.
“Someone not get enough sleep?” Nicole asked.
“Lily had to sleep with me last night.”
“Why? She okay?”
“Yep. She’s just in a mood lately,” I said. “I didn’t want to deal with the bedtime fights we’ve been having so I let her sleep with me. And she kicked me. All night.”
“That’s rough,” she said.
“Did you know Lily shakes her butt to get to sleep? It’s like she’s rocking herself to sleep. Rocking the whole damn bed. Made me seasick in my own house.”
“Oh, shit. That’s really rough,” she said with a giggle.
“Never again. I’ll fight with her for an hour if it means I’m not throwing up at three in the morning.”
“You actually threw up?” she asked. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because you would’ve laughed at me for fifteen minutes before you came over.”
“But I would’ve come over. That’s the difference. Unfortunately, today’s probably going to be slow.”
“It’s Tuesday. You said it yourself. It’s always slow on Tuesdays.”
“And you have tomorrow off,” she said.
“Why?”
“To get some sleep. You look like shit,” she said.
“Thanks. Bitch.”
“So what’s new in the world of Cindy?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Went to that block party barbecue. Saw Graham there. Lily got excited about that.”
“Oh, you saw Graham. How did that go?”
“It went well until Paul showed up. Then, he and Kevin left.”
“Kevin. Mechanic shop Kevin?” she asked.
“Yep. That’s where Graham’s working now.”
“What else do you know about this mystery man?” she asked.
“I know he’s not as bad as people paint him to be,” I said.
“So you’ve figured him out.”
“Not really. He’s still hiding behind all that gruff and grease and his angrily-furrowed brow. But he’s not as awful as everyone tries to make him seem.”
“Examples, please. I need examples.”
“Well, he’s good with Lily. We had an incident where she skinned her knee when he was outside, and he took off running after her.”
“You told me that,” she said. “Has there been something else? What have you been holding back from me?”
“We’ve had a couple of dinners together.”
“What?” she asked. “You’ve been out on dates, and you haven’t told me?”
“Not dates. Dinners. The pizza delivery guy came up to our house to deliver food that was meant for Graham, and Lily got so sad when she realized I hadn’t ordered pizza. She kept begging for a slice, and Graham caved and stayed to share. I repaid the favor with my lasagna and garlic bread the next night.”
“You cooked homemade food for him. You don't even do that for me.”
“Because you come over with takeout,” I said. “And that’s not the point. The point is he’s good with kids. When I was setting the table, he was playing with Lily. Running around with her on his back and tossing her onto the couch so she could bounce.”
“Well, I think you should go for it. Especially if he’s good with Lily.”
“Go for what?” I asked.
“Oh, come on. Your face lit up every time you mentioned his name. Don’t play that game with me. You know you won’t win.”
“Even if there was something brewing, I’m not ready yet. I’ve only ever been with one man, and that one man was special. I’m not going to start throwing it around now. It’s only been a year since he died.”
“And two since you last saw him, Cindy. You need to get back out there. Have a little fun. Dust the cobwebs off and try out the goods. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“You mean be you,” I said.
“Girl, it takes years of refinement to be me when it comes to men. What I’m saying is you deserve someone to dote on you. Take you out. Treat you to some things before making your toes curl a bit.”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“When’s the last time your toes curled, Cindy?”
My mind whipped back to a few nights ago when Graham was so heavily on my mind that it rose my body to action. I drew in a deep breath and shook my head, trying to bring myself back to the present.
But not before Nicole caught the blush creeping up my neck.
“Oh, I want details so badly. But I won’t ask. All I’ll say is this. You’ve earned it. Go for it. I’m happy that a man’s even making you feel that way.”
“But what about Bradley?” I asked.
“I love you, so know this is coming from a place of love. Bradley’s gone, sweetheart. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve gone through, but I do know he would want you to be happy. He worked his ass off to make sure you were. So if he’s looking down on you right now, would he find you happy?”
I felt tears rise to my eyes as I turned my head away from Nicole.
“Exactly. If spending time with Graham makes you happy, explore it. You don’t have to hop in bed right away or ever, but don’t push away something that makes you happy because you think you have a debt to pay Bradley. Because that’s the last thing he would’ve wanted.”
The idea of dating was unfathomable. And the thought of sleeping with someone else? I was still reeling from the guilt of masturbating to the thought of Graham. I sat down in a chair behind me as a few customers trickled in, and I helped them find some things they could use for projects they were taking on.
The distraction was nice, but the day flew by too quickly, and it was time to get Lillian.
I picked her up from school, my mind replaying the conversation I’d had with Nicole. Was it really that easy? Could I just do what I wanted? Would Graham even want to go out on a date with me? And even then, wasn’t he supposed to ask me? I hadn’t been in the dating world for a while, but that was usually how it worked.
I pulled into my driveway the same time as Graham. I watched him get out of his truck, and he looked over at me, holding his hand up like he was waving. I waved back at him before I got out of my car and plucked Lily from her car seat.
And all the while, Nicole’s conversation was playing in my head.
“Mommy, can I go play in the back?” Lily asked.
“Sure, sweetheart. Just stay close to the porch, though. I’ll be around in a second,” I said.
Lily took off as Graham crossed the lawn, and my eyes locked on his body. His white shirt was greasy, and his arms were bulging from the sleeves. Veins were running up his forearms, and his pants were streaked with sweat. I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and took in the trimmed lines of his beard. He had a smidge of grease on his chin I wanted to reach up and wipe off.
And the sweat dripping down his brow. I felt my spine shiver at the sight.
“Lily have a good day today?” he asked.
“She did. She’s a bit quiet, though. Not sure what that’s about.”
“Did something happen at school?” he asked.
“She slept with me last night, so she might simply be as tired as I am,” I said.
“Sounds like a rough night.”
“You have no idea,” I said with a snicker.
The two of us stood there as Lily dug in a pile of dirt on the side of our house. I could feel Graham’s body heat pounding against me as he stood there. Was he struggling like I was? His eyes didn’t seem to wander like mine did. Or maybe they had, and I simply didn’t notice?
“Graham?”
“Yep?”
“Do you ever go out?” I asked.
“I go to work,” he said. “And grocery shopping.”
“I mean out for food. With people.”
“I went to that party this past weekend.”
“With women?” I asked.
I felt his gaze pan down to me as I closed my eyes.
“Sorry. I’m not … I’ve never done this bef
ore,” I said.
“Done what?”
“Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow?”
I looked up at him and watched as his brow furrowed.
“Lunch,” he said.
“Yes. With me.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I figured tomorrow since I have it off, but I didn’t think about the fact that you might be working. Do you have a lunch break?” I asked.
“I don’t work tomorrow,” he said.
“I’m not sure if that’s a yes or a no.”
“You want to go to lunch with me?”
“Only if you want to. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Trust me. You couldn’t do that,” he said.
Our eyes connected, and I waited for his response. I gripped my cardigan around my sleeves to try and calm my nerves. Why was I so worried about this? Why was this such a big deal?
Why was I afraid of him saying no?
“I mean, if you want to. Sure,” Graham said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah. Sure. Lunch tomorrow sounds nice.”
“Great. Um, I mean, Lily will be at school, and I’ll be around the house.”
“I was going to go in once I got up to finish your car, so I’ll bring it by. Then we can head out,” he said.
“You’ve already got it finished?” I asked.
“It didn’t take too long. Been spending the past couple of nights working on it.”
“Graham, you didn’t need to take that extra time.”
“I know. I did anyway. It looks good. And it’ll be safer for you and Lily to ride in. I’ll bring it by tomorrow before lunch.”
CHAPTER 14
GRAHAM
I should’ve said no. Why the fuck didn’t I say no? What the hell possessed me to tell Cindy I’d get lunch with her? I had no idea what to expect from something like this. Was it a friendly outing? Was this a romantic date? What was she looking for? I wasn’t ready for something like this. I hadn’t dated at all since my family was killed. And before that, Cary and I never really went on dates. We went out sometimes, but never on a date. She wasn’t that kind of woman. She would’ve rather stayed in and watched a movie with some popcorn than pay the money to go out to a movie theater and do the same thing. I couldn’t remember a time where I’d taken her to a restaurant for any reason, much less on a date.