by Joy Redmond
Ali drained the last drop of water and replied, “Well, I didn’t know how far it was, but I really didn’t care. I had to come.”
Nancy hugged Ali and said, “Your aunt will—”
Ali finished Nancy’s sentence. “She’ll skin me alive when she finds out, I know, but I don’t care. I’ve got to find Mama Jane, have a funeral for her, and mark her grave. Will you help me?”
Toots said, “Ali, you can’t find Jane. She burned up. Don’t you remember?”
Ali replied sharply, “Of course I know she burned up, but I know where her chair was. I’ll find that spot, and that’s where her ashes will be.”
Nancy nodded and said softly, “The people who were there this morning have left, so if that’s what you want to do, we’ll help you.”
Nancy give Toots a look that said, “And you keep your mouth shut.”
Ali told Toots and Nancy about Mama Jane’s visit and how happy she seemed to be.
Toots’ eyes widened and she said, “No kidding sure enough?”
“It’s the truth, I swear!”
Nancy hugged Ali and said, “We believe you.”
“I’m cooled down now,” Ali said. “Can we go find Mama Jane?”
“You bet,” Nancy said. “I’ve got an empty coffee can we can use and I’ll find a big spoon to scoop with.”
Nancy took Ali’s left hand, Toots took her right, and they all went outside and headed down the sidewalk, Mr. Puss at their heels. When they reached Ali’s old house, they stood in front of the pile of rubble for a long moment. Ali couldn’t seem to make her feet move onto the cement walk that led to where the front porch was.
Finally, she made the first step, then continued on until she stopped and said, “This is where the front door was.” Then she took a few more steps to her right before announcing, “I think this is where her chair was.” She looked around for a moment then corrected herself. “No, the bed was over there,” she said, pointing to her left. “So the chair would have been over this way a little.” She bent down, picked up a piece of burnt wood, and began poking through the ashes. “Nancy, could you please hand me the spoon and coffee can?”
As Ali stared digging with the spoon, she hit something hard. She pulled it from the ashes and held it up for Nancy and Toots to see. “Here’s Mama Jane’s bottle!” she announced. “This is the right spot!” She handed the bottle to Toots and said, “I’ve got to find the cap, too. I want to keep it.”
Nancy said, “Honey, I’m sure the cap melted. How on earth that bottle is still here is a mystery. It should have shattered from the heat of the fire.”
Ali smiled and said, “God saved it for me. He knew it would be the only thing I’d have that belonged to Mama Jane—though it is kinda strange that God would save the one thing I hated most. Maybe that was just the way God decided to mark the spot for me.”
Toots said, “Why are you calling her Mama Jane? You always just called her Jane.”
“She told me a few years ago that I could call her Mama Jane, but I was so mad that she lied to me about being my mama, I wouldn’t do it,” Ali replied as she began filling the coffee can. “Then, just last night, she said she wanted to hear me call her Mama Jane, at least once. The way I figure it, I’m just showing her respect.”
When the can was about half full, Ali said, “Well, I guess this should be enough.” She handed the can to Nancy and then turned and walked around some more and poked through the rubble. “Hey!” she cried, “I found Mama Jane’s coffee can. I want to put her ashes in this.” Ali returned to Nancy’s side, and together they transferred the ashes from one can to the other.
When Ali was satisfied with her search, she said, “I guess we need to get out of this mess. My shoes and dress are both filthy. Aunt July’s gonna be plenty upset. Where’s Mr. Puss?”
Toots said, “He stayed on the sidewalk. I want to get out of this stuff too. It stinks and I’ve ruined my sandals.”
Holding the bottle in one hand and the coffee can in the other, Ali waded out of the ashes. “I’ve got all I need.”
Chapter Five
After collecting Jane’s ashes, Ali, Toots, and Nancy cleaned off their shoes then sat in front of the fan and drank ice water. Ali wiped her tear-streaked face and said, “Nancy, would it be okay with you if I bury Mama Jane in your backyard? I don’t want her grave in Aunt July’s yard. I don’t want her or Grandma and Grandpa anywhere near Mama Jane, and I think she’d be happier being close to her own home. It wasn’t much, but it was all she could afford, and she wouldn’t want to be close to any of them self-righteous asses!”
Nancy covered her mouth as if stifling a giggle before she answered, “You sure can, sweetie, and Toots and I will put flowers on it from time to time. Let’s go outside. You can pick the spot and I’ll get a shovel.”
Once they were in the backyard, Ali said, “I think I’ll put her by the snowball bush so she can smell it when it blooms. She liked flowers. She even helped me plant some tulip bulbs yesterday. Maybe we can put them on her grave when they bloom next spring.”
Nancy began to dig a small hole. “She’ll love the smell of the snowballs.” When the hole was finished, she said, “Okay, sweetie, put the can in and then I’ll cover it up.”
Ali tenderly kissed the can, knelt, and gently set it into the hole. Then she began to push the dirt into the hole with her hands, saying, “I want to cover her.”
When the hole was filled, Ali smoothed the dirt, then stood, brushed the dirt from her hands and said, “Now I’d like to find some sticks and tie them together to make a cross so we’ll know where it is when the grass grows over it.”
Nancy said, “I’ve got a better idea. There’s some broken slats in the shed from an old picket fence that used to go around the backyard. They’re wide enough to write her name on. I’ll go get a black marker.”
Ali and Toots went into the shed where Ali picked up two pieces of white slat. “These will be fine. Now we need a nail so we can put them together.”
Toots walked toward a bench in the left corner of the building. “I think there’s a jar of nails over here. There should be a hammer, too.” She found the jar then pulled a hammer from the bottom shelf of the bench. “Here you go,” she said, handing them to Ali.
“We’ll need to put the wood on the sidewalk so it’ll be against something hard.”
They walked around the house and squatted by the sidewalk. Toots held the wood so it wouldn’t slip while Ali hammered.
When they were finished, Ali held it up and said, “It’s a little crooked, but I reckon it’ll be okay. Mama Jane would probably think a crooked cross was funny.”
Returning to the backyard, they found Nancy waiting with a black marker.
Ali set the cross on the ground and wrote Jane Monroe on the horizontal slat. Then she drew four hearts on the vertical slat, each with an x and o in the center. When she held it up for Toots and Nancy to see, Toots said, “I think it’s pretty.”
Wiping away a tear, Nancy said, “It’s perfect. Now just tap the top of it with the hammer, and make sure it’s in deep enough so it won’t fall over.”
When Ali finished tapping the cross into the ground, they all stood back and admired it. For a long moment, Ali didn’t say anything.
Finally, she said, “I don’t know how to do a funeral, but I guess I’m supposed to say a prayer.” She folded her hands, closed her eyes, and began, “Dear Mr. God—”
Toots interrupted, “Ali, you’re not writing a letter!”
Ali said sharply, “I told you I don’t know how to do a funeral. I’ve never been to one.”
Nancy elbowed Toots and said, “Toots, you keep your big mouth shut. Ali can pray any way she wants.” She paused a moment, then added, “Tell you what, Ali. I’ll go find my mother’s old Bible. It’s got a copy of what the preacher said at her funeral. Okay?”
Ali’s eyes brightened as she said, “Yeah, that would be great.”
Nancy returned with the Bible, pu
lled out a piece of paper and began, “Almighty God, we commit to you the soul of our dear sister, Jane Monroe. We commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, and dust to dust, in certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life. Amen.”
“Amen,” Ali said, then took Nancy’s hand as they headed back to the front porch. “That was a beautiful funeral, Nancy. Thank you.”
“It was my pleasure, sweetie,” Nancy replied.
“Oh, I need to ask another favor,” Ali said. “If you don’t mind, could you keep Mama Jane’s bottle at your house? If I take it, Aunt July might find it, and she’d break it into a thousand pieces.”
Nancy put her arm around Ali’s shoulder and said, “I’ll clean it up, put it in a shoebox, and put it on the top shelf of my closet where it’ll be safe.”
Toots added, “I’ll help. We won’t let anything happen to it. You can count on us, Ali.”
Sitting on the front porch, the three sat in silence until the screeching of brakes startled them. Ali gasped as Aunt July pulled her car to the curb. Then she watched in fear as Aunt July marched toward the porch, her face red. Spittle was flying as she yelled at Nancy, “What kind of a mother are you? How would you like it if your daughter slipped off and didn’t tell you where she was going? Wouldn’t you expect a phone call?”
Nancy’s eyes narrowed as she stood and said, “Apparently, I’m a better mother than you. My daughter doesn’t feel the need to ‘slip off,’ as you say. You’re the one who needs parenting lessons. You have no regard for Ali’s feelings. We were the only ones who acknowledged her suffering, and we were here for her—not you. So don’t be raising your voice at me or I’ll show you what we do to people like you in this neighborhood!”
Aunt July took a step backward as Nancy made a fist and shook it in her face. “We knock the crap out of self-righteous people like you! Now get out of my yard before I give you a good whooping.”
Her eyes wide with shock and fear, Aunt July said, “Ali, you’d better hurry. These people are crazy!”
Nancy turned, gave Ali a warm hug, and said softly, “I’m sorry, honey, but we’ll be good caretakers of your mom. Don’t worry.”
Ali then hugged Toots and whispered, “I’ll sneak off again. You can count on that. She can’t stop me. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
Ali picked up Mr. Puss and followed Aunt July to the car. As the car pulled away from the curb, Ali bent down close to Mr. Puss’s ear and whispered, “At least we gave Mama Jane a proper sendoff.”
Nothing was said all the way back to Aunt July’s house, although Ali did see Aunt July discreetly wipe a tear. She wondered if it was for Mama Jane or from the realization that she was going to be in for a hard battle trying to control her niece. It was probably the latter. Then she wondered if Aunt July would tell Grandpa who would then try to beat her with a hickory stick. Would he try to beat Mr. Puss too?
Paralyzed with fear, she silently prayed, “Dear Mr. God, please don’t let Grandpa hurt Mr. Puss.”
Aunt July pulled the car into the garage, but still said nothing as she got out and headed toward the house. In the kitchen, Ali put Mr. Puss on the floor and he immediately ran to his food bowl.
Ali walked out to the living room and sat on the couch. A few minutes later, Aunt July sat in a chair across from her, sighed deeply, and said, “Ali, I don’t know what to do with you. I was worried half out of my mind when I couldn’t find you.”
Ali looked Aunt July straight in the eye and said, “You can punish me any way you want to. You can beat me. I don’t care. I only did what I had to do so Mama Jane can rest in peace—and now I can too!”
“Ali, I’d never beat you,” Aunt July said. “But you have to understand that you can’t run off—”
Ali interrupted, “Well, I tried to get you and Grandma and Grandpa to understand that it was important to me to have a funeral, but you all acted as if I was being foolish and said it was a waste of money, so I went and took care of it—and it didn’t cost any of you a dime!”
“What are you talking about?” Aunt July asked. “What do you mean, you took care of it?”
“I mean, I found her ashes, put them in a coffee can, and buried them. Then we made a cross to mark the grave. Nancy read out of the Bible and it was real nice,” Ali said with a look of satisfaction.
Aunt July shook her head silently, but there were tears in her eyes as she said, “I knew it meant a lot to you, but Pa squashed the idea, and Ma or I never go against him. I respect my parents like the Bible tells us to do.” She paused a moment then added, “I think what you did for Jane was very respectful, and I think it was a nice thing to do. What I’m upset about was that you ran off—”
Aunt July’s voice trailed off at that point. As Ali looked at her, she wondered if Aunt July could ever understand how badly her heart was breaking. She had defended Mr. Puss when Grandpa wanted to throw him out of the house, but she hadn’t stood up for Mama Jane. Was a cat more important than her only sister?
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Ali finally screwed up her courage and said, “You didn’t have to talk to Nancy the way you did. She’s a good woman and she’s always been very kind to me, even if she doesn’t live in the right neighborhood.” Bursting into a sob, she added, “And Toots is my best friend—and now I’ve lost everybody.”
Aunt July stood and walked over to the couch. Sitting next to Ali, she pulled her close and said in a trembling voice, “You’re right, Ali, and I’m sorry. It’s just that nothing like that had ever happened to me before and I was scared. I did speak to Nancy in an un-Christian manner. I promise I’ll apologize to her—and I won’t keep you away from Toots. I’ll do the best I can to help make a happy life for you. Please forgive me.”
Ali hugged Aunt July and said, “I do forgive you. After all, this is all new to you and you don’t know any better. Grandpa and Grandma made you the way you are, and they made Mama Jane the way she was too.”
Aunt July sighed and said, “Well, honey, there’s a lot you don’t understand about what makes people turn out the way they do. We’ll talk more about it when you’re older. Now, I think it’s time to get out of those dirty clothes and take a nice bath. Then you can try on the new dress I made for you. I’ll have it hemmed by the time you’re finished. Run along now—and don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
As Ali lay in the cool bathwater, she had a vision of Mama Jane, singing and dancing on a cloud with a group of angels. It made her feel better that Mama Jane was finally happy. Ali decided that maybe she didn’t hate Aunt July after all, though she still harbored some hard feelings toward her grandparents.
A few minutes later, Aunt July came into the bathroom and set some clean panties, a petticoat, and the new dress on the vanity. “Here you go,” she said sweetly. “I’m looking forward to seeing how the dress fits. I think I made it the right size.”
Then Aunt July backed out of the door, closing it softly. Ali was nervous about the dress. After all, store-bought dresses were probably a thing of the past. Grandpa had said there’d be no more spoiling her. She got out of the tub, dried off with a towel, and put on the dress. Then she headed into the living room, where Aunt July was sitting on the couch.
When Aunt July saw Ali, her eyes lit up. “It’s a perfect fit!” she said happily. “You look beautiful. I’ll start on another one right after supper now that I know I’ve got the size right, and I’ll have at least four more done by Sunday. I’ll also make you a Sunday dress with ruffles and a large sash—”
Ali interrupted, “Aunt July, the dress is real pretty and you did a good job, but it’s too long.” Raising the hem of the dress to just above the knee, she continued, “All the girls my age wear them about up to here. Can you shorten it for me?”
Aunt July’s face looked stern as she replied sharply, “Ali, you’ve already been told that your lifestyle is going to change—and dressing and acting like a proper lady is part of that. You have to do what’s pleasing to God.”
Ali turned and ran to her bedroom, where she stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the door. “Oh, no!” she lamented. “I’m going to be a homemade freak, just like Mama Jane was!”
Ali picked up Mr. Puss, who was rubbing against her leg, then plopped down on the bed and mumbled, “They’re all asses, just like Mama Jane said! We’ll run off as soon as I’m old enough, I promise. We’ll go so far away that none of them will ever find us.”
A few moments later, Aunt July walked into the bedroom. Mr. Puss immediately jumped out of Ali’s lap and hid under the bed.
“Why does that cat always run away when he sees me?” Aunt July asked. “I let him stay in the house and I feed him well, but he acts like he doesn’t like me at all.”
Wiping her tears, Ali said, “He knows when you make me unhappy, and he doesn’t want the other kids to make fun of me because I’ll look like an old woman!”
Aunt July sighed heavily, then countered, “You’re not dressed like an old woman. I made the dress in a style that’s appropriate for your age, but I don’t want the other kids to laugh at you either, so I’ll tell you what. We’ll raise the hem to the knee, but not above. That’s going against what I believe, but I’m willing to compromise. I’ll make you a few more for everyday wear, but your Sunday dress will have to have long sleeves and be calf-length. No exceptions. Is that acceptable?” As Ali nodded silently, Aunt July added, “I’ll catch flak from Ma and Pa, but I’ll just have to take it. I do want you to be happy, Ali.”
“I just don’t understand Grandma and Grandpa at all,” Ali said, “but if you can take it, so can I. Thank you for the dress, but do I have to wear dresses all the time? It’s summertime and all the other girls wear shorts. Will you make me some shorts?”
Aunt July gasped and said, “You will not wear shorts, young lady. I have to draw the line there. Only tramps wear shorts—and while we’re on the subject, there will be no jeans or pedal-pushers, either. The Bible says that women shouldn’t wear men’s clothing, so you’ll wear dresses, skirts, and blouses. Understand?”