by Leslie Chase
She heard the floorboards creak as his weight shifted.
“Things don’t always work out how you’d like,” he said, his voice more serious. “I’ve got some stuff to do with them, and that’s just how it is.”
Lisa gritted her teeth, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. “You don’t know what it’s been like around here since you left! You haven’t been around, you don’t know. Your friends are poison, Marcus, like the snakes on their damned patches. And now you just want to walk in and have everything your way, get to do whatever shady business you’ve got with them and have me, too? Just walk over and kiss me in front of everyone, like, like I’m some kind of property?”
She spun back to face him, jabbing a finger towards his face. “I’m not your property, damn it, or anyone else’s!”
His eyes narrowed, and his whole body tensed. She could see his emotions bubbling up, but she didn’t care how far she pushed him.
Marcus straightened slowly, and she realized that she’d still been thinking of him as the tall teenager who she’d last seen on a bus, leaving to join the Army. The man who came back was a lot more intimidating than that boy had been.
“What’s your problem,” he growled, throwing up his hands. “I told you I’d be back, and here I am. Now you don’t want to see me, just because of who I’m in business with?”
“It’s not just that!” She leaned forwards across the counter that separated them, refusing to be intimidated by his bulk. It was still Marcus, and she knew he would never hurt her. “I thought you’d turn out different!”
He leaned forwards too, and now he was practically on top of her, their faces just inches apart. She had to crane her neck to look at him as he snarled. “I had my dreams too. But dreams change, and this is where I ended up.”
His closeness was almost overpowering her. She could feel his heat, his strength, his sheer presence, and could feel her body melting in response. All her old feelings reawakened, the love she’d felt for Marcus since their long walks in the woods as teenagers. The friendship they’d shared until he’d left for the Army. The hope that he’d return to her, hope which had slowly faded.
Until now.
This was all she’d dreamed of for years. Marcus back in town, back with her, in her home. But now that her dream was coming true, she found it was dragging too many other things in with it.
Putting her hands on his shoulders, she pushed against him, but he didn’t move. For all the effect she had she might as well have been shoving a tree. It was like pushing oak, hard and smooth and heavy.
“You know that we belong together,” he said, eyes smoldering. “You know it as well as I do.”
“Really?” she heard the anger in her voice, the confusion. “You walk out of my life for years, you let my hopes for you wither. You don’t even write anymore, you haven’t for years! I had to deal with things here while you were off in the world doing whatever it is you got up to. And now you think you can just come back and walk into my life, like nothing’s changed while you were away?”
She looked away, an empty stabbing pain in her chest where her feelings poured out. “If you wanted to be a criminal like them, you could just have stayed here and been with me!”
That finally made an impact on him. Lisa heard his sharp intake of breath and felt something shift inside him. A barrier breaking. For a moment they stood in silence, unmoving, the only sound their breathing.
Marcus reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. “I guess you did miss me then?”
Forcing herself to look up into his eyes, Lisa sighed, “Of course I did. I missed you so much.”
His hand cupped her chin, drew her closer, and this time she didn’t push him away. Part of her still wanted to, but this was Marcus. This was the man she’d wanted, needed, for so long. She knew she had good reasons to say no, to tell him to stop - and she knew that he would, if she asked.
But she didn’t want him to stop.
Afterward, she told herself, she could shout at him. Kick him out, tell him off, whatever. But just now, for just one kiss, she could have what she’d been yearning for during their long years apart. It was just one kiss.
Their lips met, and she gasped at the feel of him.
Like a wildfire burning through her, through them both. She felt consumed by the heat of his body, and as his rough strong hands held her, she felt completely safe, protected, and whole. Nothing outside of the moment mattered - it was just him, and her. Marcus and Lisa. No matter what he was doing, no matter what had happened in the years they’d been apart. She was in the arms of the man she trusted, and loved, and needed.
She’d let go of those feelings years ago, or thought she had. He’d gone on to other things, better things than this town could offer, while she was stuck there, and she’d made her peace with that. But now, finally he’d come home.
And in his arms, she finally felt at home, too. He stepped around the counter, and she embraced him, holding him tight, not wanting the moment and the safety it offered to go away. This couldn’t last, she knew, but she wanted to get as much out of this moment while she could.
Marcus wanted to tell her everything. Keeping secrets from Lisa was painful, and difficult - he felt awful doing it. But the habits of security he’d learned in the field were there for a good reason, and he couldn’t take the chance of breaking them for her. Not yet.
Her kiss was soft and gentle, and he lost himself in the moment of it, never wanting it to end. While he felt her lips on his, all his doubts and worries faded away. There wasn’t anything else.
It was almost as though no time had passed since their first kiss, back before he left. Before he’d gone to join the Army. The years vanished into the ocean of love he felt for her.
But was it too late? He was back, but she didn’t seem to be glad of it. She was angry, hurt, and confused. Was it because of how long he’d been away? Because of how he’d come back? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t tell if he could trust her.
What if I tell her why I’m here and she lets it slip? He couldn’t take that chance.
Breaking the kiss, he pulled back, running a hand through her blond hair. It was just as he remembered it, just as he’d dreamed so many nights in the field. He’d held the memory of her close, like a piece of home, a promise that he had someone and something to go back to.
Looking at her, he was surprised at how little she’d changed in the years they’d been apart. Her face was just as he’d imagined it, her eyes as expressive as ever, her skin as beautiful and perfect. Every one of her little freckles was exactly where he remembered, too.
He felt himself smiling with a purer joy than he’d felt in years, just looking at her.
Those sweet eyes held a mix of emotions to mirror his, sorrow and joy and exasperation and pain. He wished he could tell her the whole truth, and erase that confusion for them both. Soon, he promised himself. Soon.
“Why did you come back?” she asked, her voice a soft whisper. “Why now?”
It took an effort of will to keep his secret, but the danger was real, and he couldn’t trust a place as public as the store. He knew he was being paranoid; the Serpents weren’t exactly sophisticated. Still, despite checking when he came in, he couldn’t rule out a listening device. He had to keep her in the dark, at least a little longer.
“I had business here,” he said. That much was true, at least, even if it was misleading. “Seemed like as good a time as any.”
He saw the hurt on her face as she turned away, a flash of pain she tried to hide behind an empty mask. Reaching out to take her by the shoulder, he turned her back gently, trying to disguise his own frustration. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do, but everything he said made things worse. “Lisa, please, can you trust me?”
She bit her lip, looking up at him with blinking eyes. “I don’t know, Marcus. Can I?”
“Always!” He stepped back, letting her go. “Lisa, you know how much you mean to me.”
“Really?” She laughed, and it wasn’t a happy sound. “I know that you didn’t come back until you had business here.”
He winced. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Look, I don’t need your protection. I’ve been fine without you since you left.”
Marcus felt his expression tighten. “Fine? With the Serpents harassing you, with Cal chasing after you? I wouldn’t call that fine.”
“You weren’t here!” She shoved him, her hand small against his chest, the push sending her backward instead of him. “At least Cal’s been in town, damn it.”
“So you’d rather have that slimeball around than me, is that it?” Marcus’s anger was getting the better of him, he knew, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Maybe I should back off and let him have his way?”
Lisa’s breath caught, and she leaned back against the wall behind her. “That’s not… I don’t mean that, Marcus. I don’t want him around, him or any of the Serpents. But… I see you come into Lou’s with them, I see you doing business with them, and I don’t know if there’s a difference between you and them!”
Her voice sounded ragged, tired and frustrated, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and comfort her. How could he explain?
Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her and tried to find the words.
“It’s not about them, it’s about you. Us. I needed to see you,” he said, and his voice caught on the words. “It’s been so long, Lisa. Too long. I missed you every damned day I was away.”
“Sure. That’s why you stopped writing, I guess.”
“I never knew what to say!” He leaned back against the wall. “I didn’t know when I’d be back, and there was so much I couldn’t talk about.”
He closed his eyes, trying to hide his sudden pain. It had always been so hard for him to find the words, and writing was even worse than talking. How could he tell her of all the half-finished letters he still had, written and rewritten as he tried and failed to find the words for his feelings? Why would she believe him if he did tell her?
“Well, now you’re here,” Lisa said, sounding exasperated. “You didn’t even let me know you were coming, you just expected me to be here for you, waiting for you to waltz back into town like nothing’s changed. I’m supposed to drop everything for you, I’m supposed to be your, your girl or whatever while you come and go as you please. Just as though you never broke my heart.”
Marcus’s head snapped up at that, and he felt as though a dagger of ice had stabbed into his chest. He swallowed and shook his head. “I did what?”
“What do you think it did to me when you stopped writing, Marcus?” She sounded more sad than angry or hurt. Like she’d made her peace with the pain. “How did you think I’d feel?”
“That wasn’t what I wanted.”
“Does it matter?” She stood up, stretching. “It happened.”
He watched her stretch, trying not to stare at her body. It wasn’t easy.
“Look, this is too complicated right now,” she told him. “I’m tired and I’ve got to get on with my day. Things can’t just stop because you’re in town, Marcus.”
“I’ll keep you company.”
She shook her head. “Not a good idea. I’ve got to work, and somehow I don’t think you looming in the back of the store is going to bring in the customers, you know? It won’t make it any easier for me to concentrate, either.”
He couldn’t argue with that. “How about this evening then, after you close?”
“No,” she said, quickly and firmly enough that it hurt him a little. “I’m going to see my mom this evening, and if you’re here with the Serpents, there’s no way you’re visiting her.”
He looked at her, questioningly, but she didn’t expand on that. I guess the way things are, a lot of people around here won’t want anything to do with the Serpents or their friends, he thought. Reasonable enough, though he wished it wasn’t getting in the way of him spending time with Lisa.
He’d need to visit Hazel soon, though, if he wanted things to work out. The whole situation was getting more and more complicated. When he’d seen Lisa the night before, he’d hoped that getting back together would be easy, that it was a good sign, but every step he took, every word he said, seemed to make things tougher.
There wasn’t even an easy end goal in his mind, he realized. Sweeping her off her feet, taking her with him when he left? The idea sounded great, but it was a lot more complicated in practice: she had a life here, obligations, and he knew she wouldn’t just turn her back on them. She wouldn’t be the woman he loved if she did.
It was a lot messier than in his imagination.
“Marcus?” Lisa waved a hand in front of his face, snapping his attention back to reality. He smiled at the crooked little grin on her face, the same one she’d always gotten when she caught him retreating into himself. “You in there?”
“Sorry,” he said. “Got a lot to think about.”
Her smile widened a little, and it took an effort for him not to sweep her into his arms again then and there. It was the wrong moment, he knew, but damn she was pretty when she smiled. He reached out to stroke her hair again when the bell on the door sounded behind him.
The noise made her jump, her face flushing red, and he jerked his hand back. Real smooth, he told himself, annoyed. This wasn’t the time or place, he knew.
“You’d better go,” Lisa told him as he stepped back around the counter. “I’ve got customers to see to.”
There’ll be other times, he promised himself. Looking around, he saw the customer was an elderly man, looking through the magazines and ignoring the two of them. With a mischievous grin, he turned back to Lisa and pulled her into his arms for a brief but intense kiss. He felt her knees buckle, and held her tight, supporting her as she clung to him.
A moment later, he set her back on her feet, keeping hold of her as she caught her balance and her breath.
“I’ll see you later then,” he told her as he strode towards the door, past her oblivious customer.
3
The rest of the day passed in a haze for Lisa, and she found herself needing to recount poor Mr. Clifford’s change three times before she could get it right. Her mind wasn’t on her work, it kept getting swept back to Marcus, and his kisses, his body, the feel of his hard muscles as he’d pulled her into him…
Stop it! This business is having enough trouble as it is, she told herself. It doesn’t need you dreaming your way through the days, on top of it all.
It wasn’t easy to keep her mind on the store, though. She served customers, tidied shelves, and tried to put together a stock order, but her attention wandered. All she could think about was the impossibly handsome soldier who’d walked back into her life without warning.
The fact that he was hanging around with the Serpents wasn’t enough to keep her from seeing the man under the leathers. A man who’d left to serve his country and to find his own path, nearly a decade earlier.
His time in the military had changed him, she could see that. The traces of awkwardness had all gone, and he carried himself with a comfortable confidence that she envied. Whatever he’d done in his years away had taught him to trust his abilities. Even before he’d stopped writing to her, though, he hadn’t said much about what he was doing there, only that it was confidential. She hadn’t even known where on Earth he was writing from.
Sometimes she’d thought that he must be in the Special Forces, other times that she was being silly and he just wasn’t talking about it. Not that he’d be a bad fit for that kind of thing - Marcus had always been smart, strong, and fast. It just seemed like she was expecting too much.
Now that he was back, though, it didn’t seem at all far-fetched. He had a quiet aura of power and confidence around him, which Lisa knew he must have picked up doing something special. Special Forces just seemed to fit, and looking at him, she couldn’t imagine them passing him up.
; She, on the other hand, had spent the time he was away going nowhere. She was just another small town girl doing her best to get by.
And yet here he was, back for her and it seemed he was determined to make her his.
She shook her head. That wasn’t going to work out, no matter how appealing the idea was. She’d wanted him, wished for him to come back, but not like this. Not as someone involved in the dark world of the Serpents and their gang. She had her own life, her own responsibilities, and if Marcus wanted to be part of her life, he’d have to make some changes to his own.
Eventually, it was time to shut the store, and Lisa sighed in relief as she tidied up and switched off the lights. She really couldn’t afford to spend her day dreaming like that, but at least it hadn’t been too busy. Usually she’d worry about that, but for once she was glad - she might not have taken in much money, but there hadn’t been many opportunities for her to make mistakes, either.
Leaving her work day behind, she set out for her mother’s home. It wasn’t a long walk, but in the darkening shadows, she started to wish that she’d accepted Marcus’s offer to walk her over. He wouldn’t have had to come in, after all.
She frowned at that line of thought. I’d have done this last week without thinking about it. Nothing’s changed.
Still, the shadows seemed dark and dangerous, and she had to admit that she didn’t feel as safe in town as she used to. Things had been getting worse, a little at a time, and it was only now when she had the offer of protection from Marcus that she realized how unsafe she felt. Turning up her collar against the chill wind, she picked up her pace.
Her mom’s home was a single story house on the edge of the woods. The sight of the trees looming behind the house made Lisa smile. the dark streets in town might scare her a little, but the darkness between the trees reminded her of the long, twilight walks she loved. Another memory of Marcus, she realized - they’d spent so much time wandering there before he left.