by J B Cantwell
I looked around at the race of enormous people who surrounded me. They looked tired.
"I'm open to suggestions."
"Why can't the others take over for you?" said a man in the tribe I didn't recognize. "The young ones? We know now they have magic, too. So what good are they to us if they can't protect us?"
I scowled at the man. Clearly, he’d never been around magic, maybe not even around Duna. It was going to take some effort to convince this tribe to trust me and to trust the new sorcerers as well.
"Everybody has a different level of magical abilities," I said. "Connell and I have both spent time training, especially Connell. The others, though, have had their powers suppressed by your now-lost leader, Arte. We must give them some time to practice before they can protect us fully. But I've seen enough tonight to believe they’ll be catching up with us soon."
A couple of people in the crowd sighed, and I knew they had their doubts. Not just about me, but about everyone else who had shown their magic that night.
Were there others?
What a terrible trick it would've been if the majority of the giants had had magic this whole time and hidden it from Arte. But then I remembered Malcolm of the Feie. Though he didn't have power like I did, he'd been made strong by the Keeper's presence in his village. I wondered how long he would've lived if he'd not been murdered. Maybe, like him, the giants had eternal life because they had an endless supply of Light. Magic in each of them.
Would it last if the Light were to run out?
"We're doing our best," I said. "And it's time for the prejudice against those with magic to end. They can only help you. Help us. I can't make this journey alone, and neither can any of you."
Nobody spoke. Nobody huffed. I had them.
It was then that Connell stepped forward.
"I understand what it means, what it's like to be afraid of magic," he said. "I trained for years under the lead sorcerer in Eagleview, and by the time I was done, he released me into the wild. I think he hoped I wouldn’t return, and I granted him that wish, staying away to protect the most delicate of the Keepers. Then, when I was attacked by Phalen, I, too, lost my confidence. I, too, lost the belief I had held since I was a child that magic was a good thing. But despite the many battles I’ve fought in my attempts to make this world a better place, I’ve come to respect my own magic once again. It's not something to be afraid of, not when it's used with the best of intentions. I know there are evil people out there. I know they want our heads. But with all of us together, they will not prevail."
Duna stepped forward, and I cringed a little inside, waiting for her to rip down the people who’d shown her such hatred for her entire life. But she didn't.
"Connell is right,” she said. “It wasn't the fault of the giant sorcerers that they became possessed by Torin. His magic goes well beyond any of ours, probably even yours." She looked at me, and I knew she was right. "But we have a village of men and women to protect, and this is the best way we know how. When all this is over, we’ll find a new place to live and grow away from the darkness."
I heard the sound before I was able to place it in my mind. But then, as the sound grew larger and more people made it, I realized the truth: they were clapping. Not for me, not for Connell, but for their own. For Duna.
She stood, holding her head very high. She was taller than most, so few noticed when she had tears forming in her eyes. A lifetime of ridicule and loneliness was finally coming to a close.
"Carden, Lesley, and Tosia, please join me here," I said.
From the back of the crowd, the three new sorcerers emerged, their first official introduction to their own people, their first time telling them the truth.
"These three will protect us while we rest," I said. "Many of you have slept already, and if you have the energy, you must go with them and look out for danger while they work. We will stay for three hours."
It wasn't enough. I knew this. But I felt I had little choice. While these giants were new to magic and powerful, too, I wasn't ready to give up all of my responsibilities at once. Three hours. Just long enough for me to sleep. I looked at Duna and Connell, and they both nodded their heads.
"Each of you choose one of the new sorcerers and get them started. Tosia, you come with me. The rest of you, use your time wisely and rest. Sleep if you can."
Slowly the giants moved away, looking for a place to lay down. But one of them stayed close. Kaelin. He stepped to my side, and I craned my neck to see his face.
“I’ll protect you," he said, his smile broad but sincere.
I was tempted to accept his offer, but I doubted he would've been capable of defending me if we were attacked by Torin or any who allied themselves with him.
I appreciate the offer, but–"
"You can't do this all on your own," he said. "Besides, I slept the whole time when we stopped before, and I don't think I’d be able to sleep anymore if I were to try now." He looked up at the sky, at the rain as it hit the edge of the barrier that was protecting us all. "It's pretty amazing, actually, what you can do."
I raised my eyebrows.
"I mean, we've had little exposure to magic, at least in my lifetime."
Tosia came and joined us. She seemed unsure of herself, but that was no surprise.
"What about Duna?" I asked Kaelin. "She's had magic this whole time."
"True. But we've been brought up to believe that we needed to stay away from her, that anyone with magic was nothing more than an evil witch."
"Do you still feel that way? Standing here with two, what did you call us? Witches?"
"It's hard to let go of five-hundred years of believing something that ends up to be untrue. But her alliance with you gives me pause. In my head, I know she’s been treated unfairly, but my memories, my training, is hard to walk away from."
"Well, you'd better get used to it," I said. "I'm guessing there are more of those with abilities in this crowd. We will see as our journey plays out."
"Hmm. You could be right. And if you are, I suppose that’ll be better for all of us."
"I suspect you may all find magic within yourselves, whether you can use a wand, light your hands with fire, or even fly. I think everyone's true gifts will be shown by the end of this long walk."
I walked over to the edge of the valley where most of the giants were congregating. A few of them, the younger ones, were already lying down, wishing for sleep.
"Keep an eye out, Kaelin," I said. "Maybe you’ll find your magic after all."
Chapter 19
It didn't take long for me to get Tosia moving in the right direction. Along the outskirts of the group, I could see the cautious attempts of the others to hold up the barrier between us and the driving rain. They weren’t as powerful as Connell, Duna, and I, but their efforts would be enough to give us some time. I wasn't sure how long giants needed to sleep, but I knew for certain I wouldn’t be getting a full night, myself.
Once I felt that Lesley, Carden, and Tosia had things under control, I allowed myself to lay down among the giants, many of whom were already slumbering.
As I looked up into the sky, I could see nothing but black. No stars shined down. No moon. Not even the clouds as they released the rain they held. I wondered if in so doing it would be enough rain to rid the sky of the clouds, to let some light back into these valleys.
But as I lay my head down on my pack, I knew I was wrong to hope for such a thing. Maybe, at the end of the war I seemed to be headed for, we’d be able to drive those clouds away. Possibly, the giants would return to Ezvar after it was all over, after light graced the surfaces of these mountains for the first time in millennia.
I let myself slip into sleep, but it was hard to stay there. It hadn't occurred to me that there would be any disturbance while we were beneath the protection of the barrier. But thirty giants, and thirty snores, kept me awake.
Just rest.
Maybe if I let my body relax, it would be just as good as sleep.
But though the noise of the tribe started to slowly sound like a lullaby, I found my eyes wide open, searching around in the dark for anything dangerous. Three hours I spent like this, somewhere in between sleep and wakefulness. But when it was time, and I felt an enormous hand gently shaking my shoulder, I realized that I’d probably been asleep for a while. I was groggy, but I could feel the wind coming through the barrier once again, and I knew the rain would follow soon.
I had given Tosia one of my knives to use, and now I took out the other and pointed it to the sky. Immediately the barrier grew stronger again, and the wind stopped blowing.
"I'm so sorry," Tosia said, approaching me. "I just couldn't —"
"Don't be sorry," I said. "You've been practicing your magic for less than a day, and you've given me a chance to rest. You've done plenty to help."
"It's just that I got tired," she said.
"You must see Duna. I know you don't want to. I know you don't want to share your pain with her. But we need you awake and ready to fight, and the only way to do that is to heal your exhaustion." I stood up and stretched, and I found I was nearly as tired as before I'd slept. "In fact, I think I'll go with you."
"But won't she be tired, too?"
I stopped, curious.
"Is there any part of your magic that you can do without growing tired?" I asked, still rubbing my eyes.
She nodded. "Of course. I can hide all day, and under any circumstances, until I don't need to anymore. I never get tired, at least not doing that."
I found myself, powerful as I seemed to be, embarrassed. I suspected I was the only one who didn't have a power that wouldn't exhaust me. I would have to ask the others about their experiences, but I suspected I was right.
I was weak.
"Come with me," I said. "We can go see her together." I opened my hand and took her enormous one in mine.
But she balked, and real fear outlined her face. I wasn't able and didn't want to force her to join me, and a moment later, she ripped her hand away from mine.
I turned around and faced her. She looked ready to attack me, and I backed down.
"You don't have to go," I said. "But you’re going to need to start trusting us. I know Arte made your life difficult, but we aren’t like Arte."
"It wasn't Arte who made my life difficult," she said. And she turned and walked away, shoulders hunched, arms crossed over her chest.
I would need to figure out how to help her; I knew that. But how could I take such an injured person and convince her to trust? I’d helped Regan, and she’d been damaged, too. But everyone was different; every experience was different. I wondered how old Tosia was, and it occurred to me that she may have been tortured for hundreds of years, no matter how young she appeared to be.
There was no need to compare them, Regan and Tosia, only my need to help them. Just like it had been with Oriana. She’d been my responsibility, especially since she didn't seem to be anybody else's.
I turned and made my way around the sleeping bodies toward Duna. I found her on her side, her gigantic head with no pillow, and I knew she would have a crick in her neck when she awoke.
"Duna," I said.
I reached out my hand and shook her shoulder slightly. This was a mistake. Immediately, she jumped up to her full height, wand alight.
"It's just me!" I whispered urgently.
A moment later, she looked down and saw that it was, in fact, just me. She’d chosen to sleep well away from the others. I guessed old habits were hard to break.
"You scared me to death," she scolded. "I could've killed you just now."
I laughed despite the danger of doing so.
"What's so funny?"
"It's just that a few days ago, you were so different. And now, look at you. You've come so far in such a short amount of time."
"Compliments will get you nowhere," she said, irritated.
"Okay, then," I said. "But I need your help."
She scowled down at me but didn't speak.
"I'm too tired to continue," I said.
She sighed and stretched out her hand, gripping me by the shoulder. Immediately, a warm sensation spread from her palm to my shoulder and out through my body. It was almost the same as drinking Light, though Light gave you power you didn't already have. Healing simply helped you be as strong as it was possible for you to be. They were different, and I preferred healing.
"Thank you," I sighed. "It's almost time for us to leave again. Do you need anything?"
"Nah, I'm good. What happened to the others?" She gestured down at my hand, which was now holding two knives.
"Tosia lost steam. I told her to come see you, but she won't do it."
She grimaced.
"It's because of that father of hers, isn't it?"
"Well, her father is dead, so I don't think it's directly because of him. Though it's clear that it’ll take her a long time to let the memory of him go."
And wasn't that the truth? For all of us? I suspected that my pain couldn't even touch that which Tosia and Trina had been through, and yet it remained. Learning of someone else's misery didn't make my own pain any less. If anything, it added to what I was already carrying.
Duna spit in the dirt. "Good riddance. It's a wonder he never went looking for Torin, himself. They would've gotten along great."
"Why didn't anybody stop him?"
She looked around at the sleeping bodies, crossing her arms.
"I don't have a good answer for that," she said. "People were afraid. I can't attribute it to anything else."
I would've killed him if I’d known.
It was too late now. All that remained were two terribly damaged girls.
Next time.
Duna had been the one to get everybody up, and they were all irritated, either from being awakened or by the person who had awakened them. She smiled and looked out over the crowd, her crooked teeth glinting in the light of her wand.
"Fellow tribesmen," she called. "Your lives are going to change now, whether you like it or not. Whether you like me or not. It may be true that not everybody in the Ezvar is worthy of your trust or mine. But there may yet be those among you who have the power to help our quest. If you do, I suggest you tell us sooner than later. Those who have come to us with honesty have already helped protect the tribe while you slept. You can do the same noble deeds if you so wish. But now it’s time for us to go. We will walk for the entire day until we come to the end of this valley."
Grumbles came from those giants who remained, those last giants of Ezvar. I wondered if, after losing their homes and families, they were simply too tired to move on.
And now, here she was, the old bat who had tormented them with her honesty for so long. And they were following her, if only because they were also following me. I wondered if any of them would try to flee before too long. But then where would they go? Home?
Slowly, everybody started to move. The thrill of fear that had led them to escape the village seemed to have finally run out. They didn't say it, but I suspected that many were sorry they'd followed me. Wouldn't it have been more comfortable to face death at home?
No, it wouldn't have been. A Howler or a Wick might've descended upon them at any time. And either of those terrible monsters wouldn't have granted them a quick and painless death. No, perhaps they knew better. Maybe they just didn't want to face reality. Their home was gone.
Despite the lumbering steps of the giants, we moved along quietly. Not unlike Bevyn, the Ezvar knew their way around these mountains, and they knew how to hide from predators. Of course, no one could hide like Tosia, but I hadn't forgotten that first night I had met Kaelin. His traveling companions had appeared as if by magic, and maybe it had been. He’d told me that the Ezvar were particularly good at hiding, and now as I listened for footsteps on loose rocks, few sounds made it to my ears.
Someone walked up to me, the woman I had seen in the line for gyvu, Alys. I looked up at her, but it was hard to tell if she was pleased or an
gry.
"What can I do for you, Alys?"
She shrugged. "It's not really like that. I don't need anything, exactly."
We walked for a time in silence until I finally came up with a question.
"If you don't need anything, why are you up here walking with me? I’m not exactly the Ezvar's favorite person."
"Maybe not," she said. "But I saw you during the battle with the Howlers. You did everything you could to save us. Some of the others may blame you; they may think it was you who drew the Howlers out of their dark hiding places."
"And do you?"
"It's hard to know what to believe," she said. "That story about Arte has everyone unsure. If he's really been lying to us all these years, what's to say that you’re telling the truth? Some even think you may have been sent here from Torin to destroy us."
I scoffed. "Don't you think I would've done that already? If I'm such a great sorceress, I should’ve been able to pick you off one by one with little trouble."
"True,” she said. “But you've brought to our attention that there are more people of ours who have magic. Whether you like Arte's truth or not, the remaining giants have been lied to for many years, trained not to trust anyone with magic."
"I don't know what I can do about that," I said. "It seems like the only way I can convince them to trust me is to show them over time that I can be useful to them, irreplaceable."
Now, she scoffed. "That will take some time, indeed.”
"Well, time is something I don't have much of. We don't know what will await us when we get to the edge of the mountain range. It could be nothing, or it could be full-on war."
"Let's hope for all of our sakes that anything awaiting us will help us, or at least not hurt us."
I remembered traveling when it was just Father and I. We’d been hunted for much of that trip, and now the same feeling I'd felt then took over my mind. I seemed to be in a permanent state of flight, always on the run, always putting as much distance as possible between Torin and me.
Was this how it was supposed to be? Wasn't I supposed to be ready for war at any time?