Logan regarded me suspiciously as I spoke, as though he wasn’t quite sure whether I was playing a joke on him or not. Regardless, I pressed on. He’d asked to know my story, so he was going to hear it.
“So yeah. Thousands of years,” I continued. “Can you comprehend how long that is? My ancestors were hard, wizened old fae who ruled the Kingdom of Elphame with an iron fist. They were irrational tyrants. It was normal for them to be at war with different kingdoms for centuries at a time. Nobody wanted to get on their bad side.”
Grabbing my new Jack and Coke, I took a mouthful and hoped it would burn out the lump in my throat. It didn’t go away completely, but it helped.
“My parents were totally different. They weren’t like the rest of my family. Especially my mom. All she wanted to do was help people, and all my dad wanted was to love and support her vision for what Elphame could become.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I debated how hard I should try to keep them from falling. If I didn’t let go now, the pain would find me in the middle of the night during my worst nightmares. The ones where Solana came and stole my parents from me. The ones where their deaths were played back to me in vivid, awful slow-motion over and over, where I’d watch their blood dripping down . . . down . . .
“Elena, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Logan said, laying his hand softly on mine. There was no trace of suspicion in his eyes. He could see my pain. I almost thought he could feel it. Nobody was that empathetic. At least, nobody had been this way with me. Not until now.
“I have to tell somebody,” I insisted. “No one else knows and now . . . Solana’s back. Her kind of evil will never stop unless everyone knows what she’s capable of.”
I swallowed another gulp of my drink and slowly pulled my hand out of Logan’s. It was starting to feel weird. Like, too warm. The last thing I wanted was to leave my sweaty, salty nacho hands all over him.
“Most people in the kingdom adored my mom,” I said. “They loved the fact that she wasn’t like the warmongers before her. She actually cared about her people. Genuinely concerned for each and every one of them. She ended all those long wars and tried to make things better for everyone in Elphame. But not everyone appreciated her kindness. There were some like Solana who thought being a queen meant being feared. They said my mom’s compassion made her weak.”
As the tears began to fall, Logan grabbed a few paper napkins from a nearby dispenser and pressed them into my hands. It was so strange to open up to this human, and a man at that. Instead of it feeling wrong, or like I was betraying myself and my tribe in telling him about our people, I felt . . . appreciative . . . and relieved. He felt like a true friend.
It surprised me as much as it frightened me.
“Your mom wasn’t weak for caring about other people,” he said. “There’s no shame in showing mercy.”
“I don’t think there is either, but Solana . . . ” Ugh. That name. Maybe it was the Jack and Cokes, but it was getting easier to say her name out loud. And I really didn’t want to start throwing up those nachos here in the Drunk Chicken. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Solana said my mom was naïve and stupid. And I suppose she was, in a way. If she’d been more careful . . . if she didn’t always insist on seeing the best in people . . . and kept her guard up, then maybe . . . ”
My throat started to close up once again and brought my drink to my lips, swallowing a strong, sweet mouthful before I could speak again.
“Sorry for being such a hot mess right now. I just miss my mom so much. I miss both my parents.”
And instead of bailing or being distracted with his watch or his phone, Logan simply sat there and nodded his head in understanding. He’d lost his mom too, after all. He had an idea of what I was going through.
“Elena, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I get it,” he said, continuing to give me his full attention.
“Oh yeah?” I sniffed. “You know all about fae grudges?”
Logan shrugged. “I’m guessing they’re like human ones, times a hundred.”
“Something like that,” I agreed. “Solana was a princess from a neighboring kingdom. My tribe never went there because only a few had gone and lived to talk about it. They came back all shriveled and twisted—mentally and physically. It was like something had sucked all the life out of them.”
It felt surreal to walk down memory lane from the warm, dim confines of the Drunk Chicken. Men drank and threw darts, talked shit on each other, and laughed, oblivious to the shadow worlds that lay beyond.
“That’s one of the things I’m worried about with all these missing kids, is that Solana’s using them like human batteries to fuel whatever she’s got planned,” I explained. “She can lure people to their deaths with a smile or a song. How does Rylee have a chance when my mom was killed as an adult?”
My fingernails dug themselves into the wood at the edge of the bar as I thought of her. There were so many emotions running through my head; anger, guilt, sadness, longing. All of them made me sick. If it wasn’t for Logan’s calm, steady presence, or that extra shot of whiskey, I might’ve puked again.
“What did Solana do?” asked Hawthorne. There was an edge of caution in his voice, but the rational, stable person it belonged to gave me strength.
“She set a trap,” I told him, feeling more at ease. “She knew that every morning my mom would visit the local townsfolk, healing the sick at the village square. I was always with her. I loved to watch her work her magic. I wanted to be a healer just like her when I got older. I never gave much thought to becoming queen. I figured I’d be just like my mom.”
I grabbed my glass and realized the last drops had been drunk.
“Here,” said Hawthorne, handing me his second shot of Jameson.
I took it gratefully and swallowed it down to feel its calming effects. But nothing could stop the tension building inside me or the intense sadness that seeped through every fiber of my body like an invading virus.
There wasn’t a day that passed when I didn’t remember the death of my parents, but with each time I recalled the day, the pain only intensified. I’d heard people talk of grief. They often said it got easier, but my grief never healed. It just burned deeper inside me until it sometimes felt it was burning out my entire heart, leaving me damaged and hollow.
But as much as it hurt, I knew I had to tell my story. So although it felt like my heart was splitting in two, I pushed onward.
“Solana waited until Mom had finished up for the day. She ambushed us on our way home to the palace,” I said. I took another gulp of my fresh drink and remembered each detail of that morning.
“We heard a woman crying and found her lying in the middle of the road. She said she’d been attacked by thieves and that they hurt her. Of course, my mom ran to help her, and that’s when she cut her throat.”
I could feel the shock ripple through Hawthorne’s body as he held me.
“Jesus!” Logan blurted out. “Right in front of you?”
I nodded my head.
“That’s . . . that’s fucking demented!”
“I know,” I agreed, and swallowed another mouthful of Jack and Coke. “And since I was heir to the throne, Solana came after me with that fucking knife, chasing me through the woods. I’ve never run so fast in my life. All I wanted was to get home and be with my dad. I had no idea I’d never see him again. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was already dead.”
Hawthorne gasped ever so slightly.
“She’d charmed her way past the guards to his tower,” I explained. “It wasn’t difficult for her, not with her looks. It was like she cast a spell whenever she appeared. People just did what she told them, as though their heads had been emptied. So all she had to do was wait until my mom and I left for the day so she could sneak into their room. They say my dad was asleep when it happened. She stabbed him right in the heart.”
Hawthorne’s response to this was nothing but silenc
e. He was too shocked to say anything. Nearby drinkers had noticed my earlier tears and my current empty facade. From a distance, we probably just looked like a couple having a lovers’ tiff. Maybe they thought I was breaking up with Logan. Who knows? They never could’ve guessed in a million years the crazy story I’d kept private for so long.
“Anyway, Solana took over Elphame as her own. The people of our kingdom didn’t see a murderer when they looked at her. They saw a beautiful warrior queen who’d taken what she believed was hers,” I told him. “The faerie kingdom is savage. There’s no place for genuinely kind people like my parents.”
Logan ran his hand through his hair and ordered himself another beer.
“Your parents sound like wonderful people. They’d be so proud of you, doing what you do. You chase down bad guys. You try and protect people too, just in a different way. And I—I suppose the way you brought back that dandelion is an example of how your mom’s healing powers live on through you.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Exactly. So that means your mom l—”
“Don’t say my mom lives on through me. That’s bullshit.”
“No, it’s not,” he said in a voice that was kind yet firm. “I’m saying this in the most logical, rational way possible. You’re their daughter. Their DNA lives in you now. So in a way, they’re with you in everything you do. That’s how I think about my mom.”
I didn’t have an immediate comeback for that. He’d actually just made a really good point. I didn’t want to listen to him, although deep down, I knew I needed to hear what he was saying.
“Well, I might be alive, but my family’s kingdom is gone. My family’s legacy is gone. After thousands of years, I’m the last one left. I didn’t even try to fight it, either. I just took off like a coward.”
“Elena, you were just a kid when it happened. And from the sound of it, people weren’t exactly rallying for justice after the woman who killed your parents stole their entire kingdom. Why would you think it’s cowardly to lie low?”
“Because I didn’t just lie low.” I wrung my hands, avoiding Logan’s piercing blue eyes as I took another look around the bar. In a past life, I would’ve been surrounded by all things bright and beautiful, sparkling and fragrant, rich and vibrant. Now I was surrounded by lumbering, slobbering, stinking humans. “I left The Hollows and I came here . . . to the human realm. Talk about desperate.”
I paused long enough to take a sip of my drink. “I was homeless for a long time. I lived in the woods like a hermit. I didn’t speak English. I didn’t think I needed to. I just talked to the animals. Eventually, a hunter found me and I ended up in foster care. Somewhere along the way they assumed my parents were drug addicts because all I could do was tell the social workers that my parents were dead. After I learned English, I still couldn’t tell them the truth. I didn’t want to end up in a mental institution.”
I looked towards the bar hoping to see a gap in the crowd. More than anything I needed another shot of whiskey, but the bar only seemed to look busier.
“Let’s get outta here,” suggested Logan. “You look like you need some air.”
Putting an arm around my shoulder, he guided me out into the cool evening air. There was that woodsy, outdoorsy scent of his, of clean sweat and warm skin. It was so strange that I liked it so much. He didn’t smell like any of the men in the bar. The rain clouds had drifted away and a soft breeze was rustling through the trees. Above, there wasn’t a single cloud, so the stars shone brightly around a crescent moon. I lifted my head and cocked an eyebrow at him.
“I bet you don’t believe a word I just said, do you?”
“Actually, I do believe you,” said Logan, dropping his arm from my shoulder and jamming his hand into his pocket in search of the keys. “Like I said . . . I’m trained in this stuff. I know when someone’s full of it, and when they’re telling the truth. It also makes sense because you don’t have anything to gain whether or not your story is true. So yeah. I believe you.”
He’d found the keys, but instead of climbing into the Navigator, he just stood there beside the car, deep in thought as he looked up at the stars. It was still early in the night. I wondered what he was thinking about. Was he wondering if he shouldn’t have put his arm on me? It was innocent enough, wasn’t it? Or maybe he was thinking about his mom.
“Do you really think Solana’s the one behind these disappearances?” he asked, still gazing at the sky. Surprised by his question, and even more surprised that he wasn’t calling bullshit on everything I’d been telling him about fae and the paranormal, I perked up.
“Definitely. If Rylee said she dreamed of her then it must be. And we know she’s a killer. She’s capable of anything.”
The reflection of the stars danced in his eyes as the wind ruffled his hair. I wondered if he was looking to the heavens to try and make sense of everything. The world as he knew it didn’t exist. It was so much darker and vicious than he could’ve ever known. And it was kind of adorable to see his curiosity winning over any rigid beliefs that he held. It felt like I was witness to his mind opening and his beliefs bending just enough to accept who and what I was.
“What are you thinking?” I asked him.
“That I feel so small down here. That I can get straight As, graduate at the top of my class, be the best in my division, get promoted regularly, and still not know shit. At least, not in the grand scheme of things.”
I gave a little half-shrug.
“The universe is huge. There are a lot of things out there we still have to learn about.”
“A lot of things I need to learn about,” he corrected. “Ever since I sat down in Chief Harris’ office, I feel like I’m dreaming. How can this all be happening? You, the missing kids, Solana . . . ”
“You’ll get used to it,” I told him as I walked around the car and opened my door. “Pretty soon you’ll realize that all the things beneath the Earth and behind the veil are just as real as those stars up there. Either that or . . . ”
I waited for him to climb into the car with me.
“Or?”
“Or you’ll go insane. But I think you can handle it.”
He started the car and backed up slowly, twisting in his seat to make sure he avoided the numerous potholes in the parking lot. In the lights outside the bar, I could make out a shadow of scruff on his jawline. And again, that scent. When he caught me staring at him, he gave the sexiest half-smile. All I could do was blink as I waited to see what he might say or do next.
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve said to me since we started working together, partner.”
My brain started to race as I wondered how the hell to respond. Luckily, I didn’t have to say anything. The two-way police radio in the cup holder was crackling with chatter as Sheriff McKinney barked orders at multiple deputies. It sounded like there was a new development in the case.
“Come on, Brad. Let’s get back to the station.”
Logan snorted a laugh as he took a right and stepped on the gas.
“You got it, Azrael.”
14
Logan
I could tell something was wrong before we pulled into the parking lot at the police station. The entire building was in chaos and it looked as though McKinney had called every officer in the county to come out and find Rylee. Not that it looked as though they were making much progress. Most of them appeared to be running around like headless chickens with no plan of what to do. But I couldn’t blame them. How exactly did you track down a missing girl when your only lead is that she’d vanished into a tree? And how did you trace a suspect that had only been seen in the little girl’s dreams?
“Thank fuck you’re both here,” McKinney growled, stepping out of his office. The front of his shirt was covered in stains from whatever he’d eaten for dinner. My money was on sloppy Joe’s. “Where have y’all been?”
“We were just—”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re here now. Pleas
e tell me you’ve got something good to tell me.”
Both Elena and I stared at him, unable to be the bright-eyed, optimistic agents he wanted us to be. I so badly wanted to know the right thing to say, or at least think of a plan of action, but I felt as clueless as everyone else.
McKinney was still looking to us for answers. Before either of us could speak, a loud wail came from one of the nearby interview rooms.
“That’ll be Rylee’s mom,” sighed McKinney. “She’s been like that since she got here.”
“Can you blame her?” asked Elena.
“Of course not. I’d be the same if I was in her position. She just keeps asking us why we haven’t found her little girl yet. I don’t know what to tell her.”
Our conversation was interrupted by the squeak of boots on the tile floor. We all turned round to see a young officer running towards us.
“Sheriff! You gotta come see this. Shit has really hit the fan.”
“What is it?”
“Reporters!” he yelled. “A news team from Nashville just showed up.”
“Aw, shit!”
The four of us ran down towards the reception and looked out through the plate glass windows to see two large vans parked beside our rental car. The sound of slamming car doors and excited voices filled the air.
“This is an ongoing investigation!” Elena hissed. “We can’t have the media here! Get rid of them!”
“How am I supposed to do that?” asked McKinney. “The general public has a right to know about the disappearances.”
“Do you think they give a shit about the missing children?” Elena snapped back. “Or do you just think they’re here to boost their ratings and make Yarbrough PD look totally incompetent?”
McKinney didn’t reply. He pressed his thin lips together and blew an irritated huff out of his flaring nostrils. He looked out the window as a reporter smoothed down her hair before striding towards the main door with a cameraman in tow.
“Well, one of us needs to talk to them,” I said.
Wiretaps & Whiskers (The Faerie Files Book 1) Page 13