by J. L. Weil
Then there was madness, fevered and glorious. To only have this kind of passion once a month would be torture.
“I want more,” I purred, my teeth grazing over his lip.
He knew what I was asking. “As you wish, little dove.” Our magick united together as he merged our bodies where we stood. A wild, green light speared from my fingers, twining together with Conner’s. The room was bathed in magick. Our magick.
His lips covered mine as he greedily swallowed my ragged cry. I couldn’t decide if this was heaven or hell: knowing I would lose him, but unable to stop myself from wanting him. He dragged my head back, his fingers fisted in my hair, eyes on my face.
“I need to see you,” he whispered gruffly. “I need to memorize the look in your eyes while I’m inside you.”
If I wasn’t already in love with him, this might have been the moment I tumbled. “I can’t see anyone else but you.”
I toppled over the edge, taking Conner with me.
There had been something desperate in the way he had made love to me, and I was afraid I knew why. Tonight was our last night.
I was going to lose him tomorrow.
My arms tightened around him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. The dream of Branna played in my head. How could I change my future and be with Conner?
The once a month thing wasn’t going to be enough for me. I wanted to wake each night twisted up in the sheets with Conner, not a few stolen moments under the full moon.
My back was still pressed against the wall, Conner standing, holding me, fighting for air. His body kept me upright as he braced a hand on the wall for balance.
I’d gone limp, and a smile of pure pleasure curled on my lips. “I don’t think I can move.”
“Hang on. Just a second.” He shifted, and I threw my arms around his neck, laughing.
“If you drop me, so help me God…” It was an empty threat, the laughter in my tone lightening the warning. “I’m losing all feeling in my legs.”
He turned his head, burying his face into my hair. “Okay, if you can manage to stop laughing, I think our best bet is that I carry you to the bed. Only one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I hate to ruin my manly prowess, but I’m never going to make it. You make me weak.”
The grin on my face widened. “It would take a lot more than that to deflate your manliness.” I toyed with the ends of his hair, brushing at the nape of his neck.
“You asked for it.” His eyes were sleepy and satisfied. He slipped his hand under my butt and hauled me over his shoulder.
I squealed, and a moment later we both landed on the bed. Our eyes met, his grin matching mine, and then I could only stare at him as my heart toppled. “I love you.”
Oh shit. Had I—? Did I—?
It was too late to recant any professions of love. He already knew how I felt about him, but voicing it out loud only made the feelings that more real.
I loved Conner.
And he was going to be gone, torn from my life.
The glow faded, and the shadow of the future loomed over us. “You can’t do this to me again,” I whispered.
“It would be easier if you weren’t so unforgettable. I can’t stop thinking about you. I was a fool to think I could come here and see you.”
“Are you not going to even try to defeat him?”
“You know it’s not that simple,” he shot back with undercurrents of anger that caught me off balance. “This is my destiny.”
“So what does that mean? You don’t want to beat him? You want to give up your life?”
“Up until you, it wasn’t much of a life. I did things I’m not proud of, abused my gifts. I don’t deserve the purity of the elements. My soul is tainted.”
“Okay, so you think you’re not good enough, but I’m telling you that you’re wrong.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you. Not while you’re naked in my bed. Not after what we shared.”
“You’re avoidance is becoming a bad habit.”
Conner flashed a wicked grin. “One of many, as you’ll find out.”
Sadness shone in my eyes. “But that’s the thing. I won’t. There won’t be time to fully appreciate all your little quirks and annoying habits.”
“What is it about you that makes me…?”
“What? Don’t stop, it was just getting good.”
His brows drew together. “Feel too much. Want things I can’t have.”
My chest tightened, trapping air in my lungs. “Don’t do this, Conner.” I pleaded.
He ran his thumb across my knuckles, moving to my palm and stroked it. Shivers ran up my arm, and I didn’t protest again. “Rest now, little dove.” He pressed the palm of his hand to my forehead.
“Conner, don’t you dare—” Too late. I was pulled under into the darkness of dreams.
The candles burned low, and the air was full of fragrance and soft light when I woke. For a moment, my heart was floating and filled with love.
My head turned to the empty space in the bed. “Conner?” I placed my hand on the sheets, still feeling his warmth. He couldn’t have gone far.
My heartbeat was shooting up, and I didn’t know why.
But something was wrong.
I jumped from the bed, whipping the thin covers aside and rushing down the stairs in nothing but a T-shirt and shorts. Just as I reached the bottom step, the front door clicked shut. The clock on the wall said it was almost midnight.
Where the hell was he going?
The moon was bright, highlighting Conner’s shadow on the other side of the glass door. My stomach pitched. The moon. It was full tonight.
I ran to the door, my heart racing and a cold sweat breaking out over my skin. My hand reached for the handle and turned. It was locked. I flipped the little switch, frantic to stop him. I couldn’t believe he would leave me like this, in the middle of the night, without so much as a warning. A goodbye.
Why hadn’t I seen? What was the point of having power if I didn’t see the really important things, like Conner sneaking off to meet his fate?
I tried a second time to wrench the door open, but again, it wouldn’t budge.
Conner. How dare he.
“Dammit, Conner! You can’t keep me in!” I yelled. He could, and we both knew it. I yanked at the door, but it held firm. Like a woman hijacked, attempting to escape her kidnapper, I furiously shook the handle. The door was barricaded with magic. “Don’t do this,” I pleaded.
Chapter Seventeen
His shadow appeared on the other side of the glass, aqua flames flickering in his eyes. “I have to.”
My hands flattened on the glass. “Bullshit. You tricked me.” The bastard.
“This is something I have to do alone.”
“And you expect to just sit inside while you’re fighting to stay alive?”
“That’s exactly what you’ll be doing.” He took a step back, away from the house and toward the woods.
That’s what he thinks. “Don’t you walk away from me!” My fist beat on the oval-shaped windowpane. “Goddamn it, Conner. Goddamn it. Let me out.”
“I love you,” he mouthed.
I stared into his eyes, noticing the glint of amber that crept in. By the end of the night, the sea-green color I loved would be gone, replaced by the glowing eyes of the wolf.
In that glance, it was like looking a stranger. Conner was sparking with power and anger. Light swirled bright around him in a halo of current. The mark on my wrist began to tingle.
I’d dreamed about Conner my whole life, but never had I really seen him until this moment, when the full force of his magick and the fury of what ran in his blood revealed itself.
Then he turned and disappeared into the darkness.
I stood at the door, my gaze fixed at the spot where he had vanished into the woods. Inside, I was a mess. That hammering of panic within me lasted briefly, before my own anger superseded it.
Screw thi
s.
Conner wasn’t the only one with power. Mine might have been weak, but I had adrenaline and fury pumping through my blood. The combination gave people the ability to do things they normally might not otherwise be able to accomplish.
My heart slammed painfully against my ribs as the blood roared in my head. The mark on my wrist burned, my veins oozing with magick. Tears blurred my vision. For a moment, fear trickled in, making me weak as the urge to give up nudged at my will.
I squeezed my eyes shut, boring down and pulled my power up from my gut. “I won’t let you go without a good-bye!” I roared, laying my palms on the door.
A shock exploded from my fingers in a gust of green light and the locks clicked. With it, the seal of Conner’s protection spell broke.
I exhaled, my hand reaching for the knob.
The door finally gave, and I rushed out into the night, heading straight for the stones. The damp, cool air and the steady rumble of the sea revived me. With each step through the dark woods, the fog shimmered clear to open a path for me. The wind whistled quietly. I saw lights glowing, the stones standing tall in the shadows. Sea and candle wax scented the air. I was almost there.
A jagged lance of lightning crashed as I stepped within the circle. Panic gushed into my throat. Please don’t let me be too late.
“Mirela,” Conner snarled, eyes glowing like liquid gold.
That was wrong. Conner’s eyes were aqua. It was the wolf who had amber eyes. It was happening. Now. Time had come to an end.
I marched up to him and shoved at his chest. “Don’t ever shut me out again. Do you hear me? I am not some docile female. I won’t be sheltered.”
“You have to get out of here. Now!” It was as if he hadn’t heard a thing I said.
“Listen to me. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“Maybe, but I love you. Don’t you see that?”
“Mirela,” he groaned, eyes closing for a brief moment. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking, but having you here is a risk.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. You’ve no right to shut me out. If the wolf doesn’t kill you tonight, I might.”
He winced. “I only want to spare you the pain. It won’t be pleasant, the fight I have set in front of me. Our link could make it difficult for you. You could be hurt…or worse.”
My chin tipped. “Do you honestly think I’m afraid of pain? There are many things in this world that scare me, but I refuse to curl up in a corner and let him think he got the best of me. I’m not afraid of him.”
He stepped forward. “You should be. I don’t know what will happen when he has taken control, what he might do to you.”
“If there is a shred of you left inside if he wins, I know you won’t hurt me.”
The muscle at his jaw throbbed. “Mirela, must you always be so stubborn?”
“Always.”
Deep in the woods, a wolf howled, and was followed by another and another. Conner’s pack was waiting for their heir. They were coming.
And the sands of time had expired.
The amber in his irises brightened, the wolf responding to the summons of his pack.
Conner stepped into the center of the circle, letting his power wash over him like water. His hands linked with mine, humming with the energy of his druid blood. “I will do this one last thing, for my peace of mind and your protection. Do not fight me on this.”
Was this his idea of asking, instead of doing things without my consent? It was better than being blindsided. I would concede this time, because I could see how important this one task was to him. I nodded. “Have it your way, druid.”
He kissed my knuckles. “By earth, air, water, and fire, all that is mine, I add my power to hers. With magick shared, our link endures, and tonight we make our destiny.” He thrust out his hands, shooting a pure white light from his palms.
The earth trembled under our feet, and the wind whipped against my face. In the center of the circle, flames burst, rising toward the sky. Outside the stones, dark clouds rolled in, misting the air in a dense fog.
And in the shadows lurked the wolf.
His yellow eyes stood out against the stark darkness as he weaved between the trees.
Conner put himself in front of me, his back to the wolf as he looked down into my face. “No matter what happens, do not leave the circle. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
“Promise me, Mirela.”
I rolled my eyes. Now was not the time to be demanding promises. “I promise. But—”
“No buts, Mirela.” His voice had taken on a gravelly texture.
“If you’re not planning to fight the wolf, then why the summon of magick?”
“For your protection. I don’t trust myself.” He closed the space between us, his hands framing my face.
I didn’t believe Conner would hurt me. Not even the darker side of him. The wolf had numerous opportunities to really wound me—kill me even—yet he had only warned me, marked me.
Conner yanked me against him. “Whatever happens, know that I love you.” His mouth crushed down on mine in a kiss as full of heat as the flames flickering in the circle. One last kiss. I wanted to sear it to memory.
He tasted of home, kindling a fire inside me that seemed to shimmer in heat, to glow under my skin like the light we conjured. His hands glided down my arms, settling at my hips as he pulled me against him.
I loved the feel of him: the hard planes of his chest, the narrow hips, the not-so-gentle palms. He smelled of the woods, earthy and raw, and the taste of his lips, it was all the same.
“I’ll see you soon. Beautiful Mirela. Eyes of a gypsy,” he murmured, sweet words that reached my heart. Then he turned to face his fate.
I’d dreamed of it countless times. This exact moment. Again and again, I’d seen the life leave Conner’s body, taken by the wolf. But that been had before I’d fallen head over heels in love with the jerk.
Conner waved a hand, and the light surrounding the circle dimmed. In challenge, Conner stepped clear of the protection.
I fell to my knees, rocked by what was to come and the power Conner had unleashed. The wind shrieked like a banshee around me, tearing at my clothes, at my hair, as the wild rain plastered the woods in a downpour.
Through the angry clouds I could see flashes of blinding light exploding, slashes across the sky.
And dozens, perhaps hundreds of wolves howled, their call ringing in my ears.
The wolf gathered at the edge, his black fur as dark as the night, eyes glowing through the storm, full of fury and power. On a growl, his muscles rippled and bunched, and then he leapt for Conner’s throat.
I gasped.
Using magic, Conner flung the wolf aside. “Let’s finish this,” he seethed.
Do you think your puny powers can stop me? The wolf’s voice boomed like thunder in my head. The taste of triumph gleaming in his eyes sent ice through my veins.
This time when the wolf charged, he let out a howl that was more scream. The silver glint of a blade shone off the white glow of the moon. Conner ripped the blade from the wolf’s neck, and the wolf reared up in pain.
Round one went to Conner.
But a flesh wound wasn’t enough to stop the wolf. His claws sank into Conner’s shoulder, and white-hot pain lanced under my skin. The magickal tie between Conner and me allowed me to share a slice of his agony.
They both bled, but only one would survive.
This was the trippiest thing I’d ever seen. Conner was essentially fighting with himself. I didn’t understand how it was possible, but the physics of magick knew no bounds.
The wolf came again and again, striking back, leaping and snapping. The clash as they fought had even the rocks trembling.
Claws lashed out, catching his chest and tearing through the flesh. Conner’s cry sliced the air, and I gasped. Black blood dripped onto the ground, sizzling like hot oil. The wolf
was relentless.
Panic punched a hole through my chest.
It hurt him. I felt his pain, felt the power he wielded drain away. The effort to block the jaws of the wolf had him staggering. He wouldn’t be able to hold him for long.
I’d promised I wouldn’t interfere, regardless of my splintering heart. Yet, I couldn’t sit by and do nothing.
“No!” On a sudden burst, I shoved to my feet, pushing through the wards of Conner’s protection. I flung my hand to Conner. “Take what I have, what I am. I offer you my power and my love. Take it. Use it. For I love you.”
“Mirela, no!” Conner cried.
Too late. I threw myself open, pouring everything I had out for him. Love. Conner might not believe it had any power here, but I would give it to him whether he wanted it or not. And he had mistaken my intentions. What I offered him wasn’t to defeat the wolf, for I knew Conner had already made his decision, and I respected it. I gave him my strength, my love, and my power for the transition.
The wolf made its final blow as Conner grasped my hand in an attempt to protect me. I felt the flood and flash of the wolf as he sank his fangs into Conner’s neck, hitting a vital vein. His eyes went wide with shock as the pain tumbled through his body.
The blood drained out of my head. My legs went to water, and I slid bonelessly to the ground. I hovered over his fallen body, taking his hand and pressed it to my heart. “Take me with you.” The words flew from my mouth. I don’t know where they came from, for I’d never thought of it before. Me? A wolf?
“I can’t,” he hissed.
“Can’t or won’t?” I wasn’t ready to let him go, to say goodbye until the next full moon. The words Branna said to me had weighed on my heart and I finally understood what she was offering me—a chance to be with Conner—as a wolf.
The idea sat in my head, taking root. This wasn’t a decision to be made rashly. I never made any life-changing choice without a pro/con list, or when my emotions were going haywire, but at this moment, I might have broken all my rules.
He covered my hand with his and squeezed. “Both.”
Conner made me do and feel things that I wasn’t used to. Staring down into his face, I memorized those beloved features. “I love you,” I whispered.