by Carter Ashby
“I hit my head last night,” she said, frowning. “And Boone took me to the ER.”
He’d have jumped into immediate concern if her story made any sense at all. Still, as he studied her face, he could see a paleness, there, and a darkness under her eyes. “You hit your head,” he said. He took her chin gently in his fingertips and tilted her head up.
“It’s just a mild concussion. Still, I’ve been resting all day.”
“You shouldn’t have walked all this way.”
“I was feeling cooped up. Didn’t think the jostling from riding would be good for my head.”
Jake frowned at her. His righteous ire dampened by warmer feelings. “A concussion. And Boone…he took you to the hospital.”
“Yes.”
“And then he spent the night at your house?”
“What you saw was him dropping me off back home. Jake, I’m so sorry, that’s all I can tell you. And it’s more than anyone else knows, and I have to ask you to keep it between us.”
“Keep what between us? You’re not going to tell me how you hit your head or why it was Boone who was there to rescue you?”
“I can’t. Please, you have to trust me.”
He let go of her chin, moved a little closer to her, and rested his hand on her knee. “I don’t like to think of my brother rescuing you.”
“You’d rather I was left alone to fend for myself.”
If he was going to pursue Ivy, he was going to have to get used to some things…namely, her mouth. She had a tendency to rush to the offensive that wasn’t entirely fair to him. But then, he supposed she must be getting tired of being accused of sleeping with his brothers. “Obviously what I meant was, I wanna be the one to rescue you.”
She sighed and put her hand over his. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not often in need of rescuing.”
“You and he grew up together. Went to school together.”
“Yeah? So?”
He looked up at her and saw the stubbornness in her eyes. She was practically daring him to ask her if she’d ever slept with his brother. “You gotta try and see this from my point of view, Ivy. I like you. Hell, I’m crazy over you. But…I don’t like going in blind. And if you’ve…if you’ve ever…”
She huffed and pulled her hand away, pushing to her feet a little too fast. Jake stood to steady her when she swayed, but she pulled away from him. “I’m fine. Now, what is your obsession with whether or not I’ve slept with any of your brothers?”
“It’s not an obsession, it’s just, no man wants to…to…”
“Would you like me any less if I had?”
He frowned at her. Studied her. “All I hear is you dodging the question.”
He recognized pride when he saw it, and Ivy had it in spades. It was in the way she lifted her chin, the pinkness that flooded her cheeks, and the narrowing of her eyes. Through gritted teeth she said, “I don’t owe you anything.”
She’d said those words to him before. They were just as true now as they were then, but he still couldn’t stop himself. “I think if you want me to endanger my whole livelihood you owe me something.”
She threw her hands up and shouted. “You’re infuriating! I already told you I wasn’t sleeping with your brothers, and I told you that was as much as I could give you. You said it was enough, but it’s not. No, I’m just something to be conquered, aren’t I? Just a piece of undiscovered territory you want to plant your flag on first, right? The thrill’s gone if someone else has already been there!”
“That’s not…”
“That’s exactly what this is. Whether or not I’ve slept with your brothers, Jake, I wasn’t a virgin that day that you had me. You know that, right? I’ve probably…no, definitely had sex with people you know.”
“Who?” The question out of his mouth came naturally, but if he’d thought for just a moment, he’d have known better than to ask.
Ivy dropped her head back and laughed. “You don’t get to know that. If it matters that much to you, then I don’t want to be with you. No, you know what? I’m done with you, Jake.” She turned and started walking away.
The words hit him like a Mack truck, slapping him silent. She was done with him? Like, forever? He couldn’t breathe as he watched her walk away. She was ten paces on before he finally got his feet to move.
He caught up to her, matching her stride. “Ivy, this is just a fight. You can’t drop me every time we have a fight.”
She spun on her heel to face him. “This is not a fight. This is a deal breaker. The fact is, Jake, you have too many conditions upon which you’re willing to invest in me. I told you before, I want a man who goes after what he wants. If you wanted me, you should have been bold about it. Fearless. Instead, all you’re worried about is making sure I’m worthy of your efforts. And that based on who I’ve slept with. You’re making me feel ashamed of myself when I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. So that, for me, is a deal breaker.”
She turned, but he said, “Ivy, wait. Please. Please just hear me out and try to understand where I’m coming from.”
She folded her arms over her chest and arched a brow, classic bitch posture, and he had to fight to keep from smiling. She’d look at their children like that, one day. She’d give them that look and they’d spill their guts. She’d give Jake that look and he’d take out the trash or make the bed or whatever else she wanted. He had the sense of knowing her better just for having seen this posture; the sense of having an inside understanding of her.
He thought of her smooth skin on his hands, of her sweet whispers and kisses, of the way she made him see the future as clear as the light of day. “It’s just hard for a man to know he’s had to share his woman with other men. And with brothers would be a hundred times worse.”
“That makes me feel like used toilet paper.”
Jake swallowed, breathing slowly, careful with this fragile moment. “I don’t want you to feel that way. I think the world of you.”
“If that were true, it wouldn’t matter who I’ve slept with.”
“It doesn’t. It’s just…I don’t want to be made a fool of.”
“Because you’d be a fool to date someone who wasn’t a virgin?”
Jake tensed, his own frustration building. She might be the woman he wanted to build a life with, but he still had his pride. And pride wasn’t a bad thing. No, it was a necessary thing for a man. Especially a Deathridge man. He lifted his chin, set his jaw, and said, “If you slept with one or more of my brothers, then I want to know. That’s all there is to it. That’s a deal breaker for me.”
“Oh, you’re putting your foot down, now?”
“Looks that way.”
“Okay, then we’re at an impasse. Because I want to know you’d be with me regardless. I won’t tell you because you haven’t proven to me that I can count on your good faith. I won’t tell you because now, if I said I had slept with one of your brothers, I’d always feel like you were holding that over my head.”
He stared at her. At that beautiful face and body. At the first woman who’d ever made him feel something more than simple lust. He stared and knew there’d never be another like her. And yet, what could he do? Beg. He could beg. And suddenly, as the reality sank in and he realized he might never have a chance to touch her again, he went toward her. He took her by the arms and kissed her. “Please,” he said against her lips.
She sank against him, her arms unfolding from her chest and reaching around his neck.
He kissed her cheek and ear and neck and murmured. “Please just tell me. Tell me so we can be together.”
“If you want me, you know what to do,” she said, her voice breathy.
“I do want you. More than anything. Don’t throw this away because of pride.”
“Right back atcha, Jake.”
His lips landed on hers. He cupped her face and held her to him, kissing slowly, languidly. This couldn’t end. It shouldn’t end. Before Ivy, his life had been one hard-working day after the n
ext, and he’d been happy. But how could he ever be happy with that again? It all seemed so dull and pointless without the hope of seeing her again.
She stepped back and he was forced to let her go. She turned and started walking without so much as a goodbye. Jake’s grief momentarily faded in the wake of his anger. “So this is it? You can’t answer one simple question?”
She kept walking.
“This is stupid, Ivy. You’re being stupid!”
No change in her pace.
“I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing, but I ain’t coming after you. We could have been great, but you’re not the only woman in this town I could be with.”
He felt like crying. Ivy was a heartless bitch. There was no way she felt for him what he felt for her, not if she was walking away over this. No, she was getting a kick out of this. Getting a thrill out of hurting him this way.
That was what he told himself as he hopped the fence, and stomped off toward home. He knew it was just anger talking, but he also knew it was far better to be angry than that other feeling burning in his chest. Unfortunately, Jake wasn’t one who could hold on to anger. He wasn’t one to languish or weep or moan. So by the time he reached home, he’d settled into a sort of melancholy that made him just want to crawl into bed and sleep for the next few years.
There wasn’t enough pain medication in the world.
Ivy should have known better than to go to him. She’d gone and gotten her hopes and expectations up. As she’d walked, she’d envisioned being wrapped in his arms and made to feel safe and loved for just a few moments. Instead, she’d gotten the same interrogation he’d given her about Dallas.
Granted, it did look pretty bad, her holding all these secrets for his brothers. But still, why couldn’t he extend her a little bit of unconditional trust?
Maybe that was unreasonable. Maybe he deserved to know. And maybe she’d consider confiding in him if he wasn’t so hung up on her past bedfellows. Of course she’d never slept with his brothers. But just the mere fact that he was unwilling to proceed with a relationship until he found out was evidence enough that he was the macho, jealous type. Ivy was not interested in that type. Very interested in Jake. Just not his attitude.
She made it home, her head pounding, in time to say goodnight to her father, who was headed to bed. She’d lied to him about her head. Said a horse threw her and she hit her head on a rock, drove herself to the ER, and now needed rest. At least the last part was true.
She grabbed some ice cream out of the freezer, sat down in front of the television, and was about to eat straight out of the carton when there was a knock at her door.
With a weight-of-the-world sigh, she sat her ice cream on the coffee table and peeked out the peephole of her locked front door.
Cody Deathridge stood there, looking around like a thief about to be caught.
Normally, Ivy liked Cody best of all the brothers. He had the mildest manner and was the easiest to talk to. But lately she’d become rather overexposed to the Deathridge charms and only wanted a night or a week or a lifetime away from them and their drama.
She hurled open the door. “What?” she snapped.
Cody fell back a step, his eyes widening. “Uh, I heard about Jordan.”
“I asked him if he wanted me to contact you and he said no. You need to go home.”
Cody frowned. “You okay, Ivy? You look pale?”
“I have a headache.”
“I’m sorry. Real sorry to bother you. I just couldn’t sleep knowing he was hurt. I needed to hear for myself that he was okay.”
“He’s okay. Two cracked ribs and a broken nose.”
“Oh. Damn.”
“Yes. Is there anything else?”
Cody cleared his throat and looked down at his shoes. “I was hoping to see him. Maybe you could set something up?”
“I’ve asked him and he says you and he are done. I’m not getting in the middle of that.”
“Sure. I understand. But maybe, if I could get him to agree to meet me, we could do it here? Like, when your old man is out?”
Ivy shrugged. It was a perfectly reasonable request. As much as she wanted to kick him in the shin and tell him never to darken her doorstep again, she was rational enough to know she was mad at the wrong brother. “Sure. That would be okay with me.”
“Good. Thank you, Ivy. Is he safe tonight? Down at the bunkhouse?”
“I fired the two who did it, but he’s sleeping upstairs in one of the guest rooms until he’s back on his feet.”
Cody’s gaze traveled past her towards the stairs. “Is he asleep?”
Ivy sighed. “I don’t know, Cody. I said goodnight to him a couple hours ago. He’s been hitting the pain pills pretty heavily.”
“Could I just, maybe, peek in? Check on him?”
“You don’t think that’s a little creepy? I mean, if the situation were reversed?”
He shrugged. “I guess. I just miss him.”
“I didn’t realize you had that much going on? I thought you were just hooking up.”
When he met her eyes, Ivy saw the same look that was in Jake’s eyes when he looked at her. The same emotion that was in her own heart. And she caved. “Fine.” She pushed the door wider. “Let me see if he’s awake, first.”
As it turned out, Jordan was awake after all. He’d slept a while and then awakened to take another pain pill. As it hadn’t kicked in just yet, he’d turned on the television to distract himself from the pain.
Cody waited as Ivy came back down the stairs.
“You can go up,” she said. “Second door to the left. He’s awake and willing to see you.”
Cody nodded and looked Ivy over one last time. She’d lost weight. She looked exhausted. He was sorry for his part in burdening her. It must be mentally exhausting to carry someone else’s secrets.
He went upstairs. Jordan’s door was cracked open, the blue light from the television flickering and casting shadows. Cody rapped gently with his knuckle before going in. Jordan lay still, staring at the television. It was hard to see the levels of bruising, but the swelling around his nose was obvious. “Hey,” Cody said, sitting hesitantly on the edge of the bed.
“What do you want?”
“I heard what happened and just had to see you. I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t do it.”
Cody stared down at where his hand rested on the bed inches from Jordan’s. “When you care about someone, it feels like your fault if they get hurt. I don’t know what I could have done. Maybe been there to fight for you. I’m angry I can’t defend you. Avenge you.”
Jordan gingerly turned his head on the pillow, meeting Cody’s gaze. “You know, I can throw a punch. I didn’t just fall down and take it.”
Cody felt the beginnings of a smile working its way to the surface. “You don’t strike me as a fighter.”
“I’m not. But I’ve been in a few. I defended myself as long as I could. It was two-against-one, though. There’s only so much you can do.”
Cody nodded, returning his gaze to their hands. He reached up and enclosed Jordan’s with his own. Tension left his body when Jordan didn’t pull away. “You should have had someone by your side to make the numbers even.”
“We could maybe…be friends?”
Cody’s heart pounded and he wanted nothing more but to press it tightly against Jordan’s. “You’d be okay with that?” Cody asked.
“Of course. I’d love to be friends with you. But if you want some of this action,” he said, grabbing his crotch over his blankets, “you’ll have to take me on a real date.”
Cody laughed and leaned in to kiss Jordan on the cheek. “You’re so fucking cute.”
Jordan shifted to the side of the bed and patted the covers next to him. Cody lay down beside him, snaking his arm beneath Jordan’s neck, careful not to jostle him too much. Jordan rested his head in the crook of Cody’s shoulder, and they both fell asleep watching television.
Part 4
: Dire Consequences
Myra’s Blog
I try to keep my video blogs tongue-in-cheek and in keeping with a longstanding tradition of small town gossip, but today we have more serious matters to consider. For the official story, there’s a link below this video to the Fair Grove Times. If you haven’t heard the news, allow me to break it to you: Molly Allen was found dead in a creek bed not far from her house early this morning. According to her husband, Pastor Allen, she went missing two days ago. She’d told him she was going to visit friends, so he had no idea she was in danger.
Early reports say cause of death was strangulation.
I’m shocked. Simply shocked that something like this could happen in our little town. To throttle an upstanding young woman like Molly and leave her face-down in a creek…it’s too horrible to talk about. I hope you’ll all join me in praying for those closest to Molly, as well as for Molly’s soul.
Ivy had been a good patient and taken a day off, but she couldn’t bear the thought of sending her father out another day without a proper breakfast. She was up by five and in the kitchen before six, stirring together a vegetarian egg white omelet.
When Jared came in, dressed for work, he hovered at the edge of the kitchen. It was unlike him not to beeline for the coffee pot, so Ivy turned to face him.
“Um,” Jared said, clearing his throat. “It seems our friend Jordan had some company over last night?”
Ivy’s jaw dropped. She’d gone to bed before seeing Cody out. Surely he hadn’t spent the night. “Uh…um…yeah, a friend of his dropped by.” Perhaps Jared had only heard the voices, though that would have been unusual since he was such a hard sleeper.
“Honey, Cody Deathridge is upstairs in bed with him right this minute. The door was cracked open. He’s fully clothed and on top of the covers, but still, not exactly platonic behavior.”
“Dad, he’ll just die if he knows you found out. Please, please keep this a secret.”