“Caroline?” the officer asked.
“Yes! I’m Caroline,” I said, loud enough to be heard through the glass. “Someone has been in my apartment. The door... it was open when I got home.”
The officer stepped a few feet away from my vehicle and spoke to someone on his walkie-talkie. Seconds later, he returned. “Stay here. Don’t get out of the car. Okay?”
I nodded my understanding and he strode away with a determination in his step. His large frame easing its way up the walkway to my apartment, gun drawn, appearing to be ready for whatever awaited him.
I sat there for a few minutes, just watching the officer, each movement so calculated. He looked back towards my car and then disappeared into my apartment, his gun raised. He wouldn’t need it. Enough time had passed that I knew my stalker was gone. He was too smart to get caught.
The officer returned, talking again into the walkie-talkie on his shoulder. I could only make out a few words from the one-sided conversation, but enough to know my admirer had amped up his game. The policeman had a serious look on his face, and that’s when I knew I had to disappear. I had to go where this twisted, obsessed man couldn’t find me.
The stalker had left me another gift. He set the table with candles and a beautifully wrapped package. Inside the package was dead cat. The note said that was what he would do to me for turning my back on him. A ripped-up dress coated in blood was left on my bed.
Several more police cars pulled in and I watched with curiosity and concern. Officer Dailey appeared in the chaos of cars and cops with a woman in a business suit. As they neared my car, I opened my car door to meet them.
Before I reached Officer Dailey, two uniformed officers approached her. They talked briefly, voices low so I couldn’t hear them. From the looks passing between everyone, I knew it was bad.
“Officer Dailey.” I exclaimed, worried over what they might have discussed but thankful that I knew someone there.
“Caroline,” she said, nodding towards the woman with her. “This is Margo Waters. She’s with the local Victims of Crime Program. I think she can help you find peace. This stalker is escalating and fast. We need to get you somewhere safe. Tonight he left clothes laid out on your bed, and the gift box with a dead kitten inside speaks volumes about what he wants to accomplish. He has big plans for you. Without knowing his identity, it is difficult to catch him… but there are other options for you.”
“I can’t live like this,” I said, my voice shaky, on edge. “I just want to get far away from here. Somewhere he can’t find me. I just want to leave this messed-up life behind.” I choked back a sob. “I just want to be someone else, someone this guy doesn’t know, someone he can’t find, someone he doesn’t even know exists.”
Margo smiled at me. “I think I can help you with that.”
“What” I had been rambling, barely aware of what I had been saying. Be someone else? It was just a fantasy. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you can have that fresh start, if you really want it.”
“I do,” I said, almost shouting. It seemed too good to be true. “I really do.”
Just like that, it was done, my old life left behind. Margo got me into the special victims of crime program, which was similar to the government’s witness relocation program. I was given a new identity and a new life. I welcomed the idea, the opportunity to begin my life again. It was hard to leave behind everything and everyone I knew, but it was a price I was willing to pay.
And that’s when the life of Caroline Douglas faded from existence. That’s how I got my new name and new life. My name is Danielle “Dani” McCade. I am strong. I am powerful. I am a survivor.
“I’m a survivor, at least that’s what everyone tells me.”
- Courtney Love
Chapter One
Four Years Later
The life Dani once knew had become a distant memory, hiding like a small child in a garden maze. It peeked around the blooming flowers and pristinely manicured greenery, winking at her, reminding her that who she is – or rather the life she now lived – could all fall apart in the blink of an eye. Thoughts like this sent chills down Dani’s spine, even on a warm spring day like today.
She’d spent the last four years settling into her new life. The first year was the most difficult by far. Everything that had happened, and all that Dani had been through as a result, created a whole new way of looking at the bigger picture that was her life. It was hard as hell to trust anyone, to allow another person to get close to her. The worst was having to share a dorm room with someone... even another girl.
What was so bad about having a roommate? Well, it’s simple; girls date boys in college, and Dani knew her roommate, Zoe, would have wanted them to attend all the college parties, to go on double dates, and have a thrilling college experience. Dani had wanted that too, but she had been forever changed in all the ways a girl could be changed.
Did Dani McCade date? Not really! Letting a man close to her had been difficult in the beginning. As much as she wanted to set herself free and let a man close in the way a woman needs was frightfully difficult. She just wasn’t ready for a long time...but now, after so much time, has passed, Dani yearned for the touch only a man could provide, that heat that spreads like a wild fire burning out of control as your body throbs, seeking release. She was so damn ready to cut loose and take her life back.
Zoe, along with the advice offered by Margo Waters, helped me to heal, to prepare myself, to let someone new come into my life. I was desperate for male companionship, you know. I needed someone to love me, warts and all, someone that could hear my story and not run for the hills in fear, a man that could be trusted.
Zoe taught Dani to trust her judgement, to see that not all men were bad. Zoe wasn’t aware that during the first year of their friendship that she was helping Dani, but she did and she still does. Dani loves her friend dearly for that. Dani’s main problem was that she was just so damn afraid that he would find her and catch her off guard as he had done before.
Dani McCade’s new life allowed her to redefine herself and find comfort by teaching herself to be aware of everything around her. She hadn’t done that before, and that was a major flaw on Dani’s part. What happened to her back then wasn’t her fault, but she should have been more aware. She was one of the lucky ones. It was chilling how many girls aren’t so lucky; many don’t survive a stalker like Dani’s. It was just a sad fact, and facts didn’t lie.
Margo Waters helped Dani to shed some of her fears and weakness and to be reborn as a warrior. Margo became her guardian angel and Dani could never thank her enough for everything she’d done for her over the years. The changes Dani made had given her the strength to live her life again, no matter who she was or where she was.
Margo said that Dani was a survivor, but Dani liked to think of herself as a warrior because she made a point to learn everything she could about kickboxing, Aikido, Jiu-Jitsu, and Krav Maga. If she ever found herself in a situation like that again, she would damn sure be ready to kick some major ass.
Screaming for help wasn’t a bad thing that night, but she could have done more, should have done more, but fear wrapped its tendrils around her, making her weak. Feeling that weak again just wasn’t an option for her anymore. Dani had vowed to protect herself in every way possible, and that was a promise she’d always keep.
The special victims of crime people had suggested that she get a firearm. Dani had hesitated in doing that at first. She knew that guns didn’t kill people without a little assistance, but she just hated the thought of having one. Her parents never allowed weapons in the home and she understood why. The danger they represented was instilled in her from a very young age. There were countless deaths on record, stories in newspapers sharing the sad news of lost children and odd events leading to a death that could have been prevented.
Now she felt differently about them. In this world, they were necessary to aid in one’s protection, to ensure that one was not
taken advantage of. After learning to fight off attackers, she learned to properly use a gun. Purchasing one and not being able to use it safely just wasn’t going to happen. Her parents would’ve rolled over in their graves if they knew she owned one now. It stays in its box, locked away even now. But it made Dani feel safer just knowing it was there if she ever needed it.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature.”
- Helen Keller
Chapter Two
One Year Later - Present Day
“Dani. Are you packed and ready for our flight?” Zoe yelled from the next room. You could hear the excitement in every word she spoke. This spring break vacation was going to be the best one yet.
“Yes! I’m all set.” Dani yelled back. While she was definitely excited about going on a week-long vacation to Russia, she was also a little panicked. Traveling was the only thing Dani hadn’t done in the last four years. To be separated from her weapon was weighing on her mind heavily.
“I’ve been looking forward to this trip ever since Kitty told us about Russia last year.” Zoe said. “We’re going to have so much fun.” Her suitcase banged against the wall outside my bedroom door. “Damn it!” she groaned checking her manicured nails.
“You alright?” Dani asked, zipping her suitcase closed.
Zoe nodded, looking at Dani as she leaned against the doorframe. “You okay? You’re not nearly as excited as you should be.” A frown formed on her face. “You aren’t backing out are you?”
“I haven’t changed my mind,” Dani said. “I’m actually really excited. Maybe we can look Kitty up when we get there.” There was no need to share her worries with Zoe; she already knew them all to well. Zoe had been Dani’s best friend since their freshman year. Dani had initially kept her dark secret from Zoe, but the closer they grew, the more she felt the need to be honest with Zoe. If they were going to be friends, Zoe had the right to know what had happened to Dani. If it happened again, Zoe could be in danger and Dani wanted her to be safe. So she told her.
Dani had expected Zoe to move out of their shared apartment and end their friendship. It’s not easy to hear that everything thought you knew about someone is a lie, but Zoe didn’t leave or end the friendship. Instead, she had listened intently while Dani recounted the entire horrendous affair. Not once did she make Dani feel small or weak. Tears had filled Zoe’s eyes, her hand gripping Dani’s the entire time. It was then that Dani realized that sharing her story with her friend was the best decision she could have made.
Zoe was quite possibly the best friend she’d ever had. If she’d had a sister, then she’d want like hell for her to be like Zoe. They were inseparable, and Dani had a sneaking suspicion that this week-long trip was planned as a sort of therapy for her in addition to being a vacation during Spring Break. The plan was simple: experience the culture, museums, and night life of Russia for one whole week and have fun during every single second. There was so much to see, Dani hoped they would be able to see and do everything the average tourist did and then some. Dani wanted to experience the real Russian as if they lived there.
“You’re worried about... you know? Aren’t you?” Zoe said in a whisper, looking everywhere but at me.
“A little. It’s just the first time I’ve traveled so far away since I moved here.”
“I’ll be with you,” Zoe said, pulling me into a hug. “We won’t leave each other’s side… and you look different than you use to. It’s been four years and he hasn’t found you. That has to mean something. Right?”
“I know. I know. You’re right. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure it’s just nerves,” Dani said, a cheerful tone in my voice. Zoe was right. If he hadn’t bothered her here, there was no way he’d find her in Russia.
Zoe glanced at her phone, frowning. “Our flight leaves in a few hours. We need to leave for the airport in about an hour because security crap is going to take forever.”
“Right! I’ll call the cab. Want to grab something to eat at the airport? It will give us something to do while we wait.”
“Sure. Sounds good,” Zoe said, wrestling her suitcases into the hallway. Why she packed so much was beyond Dani.
Two hours later, the girls were people-watching in a bar at the airport while devouring burgers and fries. This would be their last meal on American soil for a while and Dani wanted to savor every last bite.
“We should do something crazy, you know, while we’re on vacation.” Zoe said, drenching a French fry in her ketchup.
“Oh. And just what do you have in mind?” Dani asked as she watched a couple kissing at a table nearby.
“We should have a hot fling with cute Russian guys while we’re gone.” She pointed a French fry in my direction. “What do you think?”
“Sure. Why not!” Dani snatched the French fry and took a bite. “I haven’t dated anyone in forever.”
“That’s a good reason to let go a little while we’re away,” she said, smiling from ear to ear. “Nobody will know you and it will be over in a week.”
“It would definitely add a little spice to the trip,” Dani said with a wicked grin, images of a hot love affair wisping through her mind.
Zoe looked at Dani, her eyes narrowing. “What exactly are you thinking about right now? The look on your face is so naughty.”
“Nothing really. Just thinking about how exciting it would be to be naughty with a cute Russian.” Outside of planning what museums to go to they hadn’t really planned that much. They wanted to fly b the seat of their pants and enjoy the day-to-day offerings of St. Petersburg.
Several semesters ago, they had met Kitty Pravdin, a student from Russia. She had told them so much about St. Petersburg that the girls immediately wanted to pack their bags and go. Since that wasn’t an option, they saved every dime that they could and promised to go together the first chance they got. And here they were, getting ready to fly a little over sixteen hours to their adventure destination.
Zoe and Dani had researched all of the tourist attractions and came up with a small list of places they just couldn’t miss seeing, and experiencing the nightlife was a large part of the appeal. Kitty had told them about so many clubs and how much fun they were. As a bonus, she said Russian guys were way hotter than the guys at the college and they were definitely excited about that. Each of the girls liked man-candy just as much as the next girl. Hell, Dani wasn’t dead; just dating challenged.
A female voice on the intercom announced the boarding of their flight. Dani’s heart began to thud in her chest, rattling against her ribs. Their adventure was about to begin. There was no turning back now; not that Dani wanted to.
“It’s time to get our party on.” Zoe said, dancing around by her luggage. She might be cute but her dancing abilities were comical. She had about as much skill as that chick on Seinfeld; you know, the one that danced like she was having a seizure or something. Yep, that’s what Zoe looked like right now. So dorky!
“Zoe! Stop dancing around. Everyone is staring at you,” Dani said, heat spreading across her pale cheeks. “Come on.” Dani grabbed Zoe’s arm and gave it a tug.
“You’re no fun,” Zoe said, sticking her tongue out at Dani. A childish act but so fitting for Zoe. A quick glimmer of steel caught Dani’s eye.
“When did you get that?” Dani asked, pointing at Zoe’s mouth.
“What? This?” She pointed at her pierced tongue. “I got it the a few weeks ago. I hear that guys really like it when you... you know.”
“Gross, Zoe.”
“Gross? I don’t think so. I’m just excited to find out if guys like it as much as I’ve heard they do.” She flicked her tongue at Dani in a suggestive manner and winked.
“I’m sure you are,” Dani said, unable to contain the giggles from escaping her. Zoe had no filter. That was just one of the things that Dani liked about her. She didn’t care what people thought. They grabbed t
her carry-on bags and raced through the waiting area, dodging people on the way to the check-in desk. Taking a place in the already-forming line, the girls dug out their tickets and passports, ready for their turn at the desk.
The line moved quickly, the woman at the desk directing each passenger to the nearby door to board the plane. They handed over each of their tickets and made their way down the jet way. Dani felt a cold chill wash over her as she stepped over the threshold of the airplane. She shook off the feeling, making her way past the flight attendant as she quickly and politely directed everyone to their seats.
“Come on, Dani,” Zoe chirped in a sing-song voice, bounding down the aisle to their cramped little seats. “Give me your bag and I’ll put it in the compartment with mine.”
“Okay,” Dani said, tossing her bag at Zoe and slipping by to grab the window seat. “I can’t believe we’re actually going to Russia.”
Zoe sat in the tiny seat next to Dani. “I know. We’re going to have an awesome time. A fling in Russia is going to be so much fun, I can’t wait. It would be nice to tour the sights with a couple of hotties, too. I bet we’d see some awesome things the usual tourists don’t see.”
“Oh my god, Zoe. Could you say that any louder?” Dani looked around nervously to see if anyone had overheard Zoe. “People will think we’re sluts. Honestly, girl, you have no filter.” A new thought sprang to her mind. “What if one of us finds a guy and the other doesn’t?”
“Then we’ll share.” Zoe laughed, patting Dani’s hand. “Just kidding but I couldn’t resist, and the look on your face was priceless. And I’m not asking you to be a slut. It’s just that every guy isn’t a bad guy. One day, you’re going to want to settle down with the one and a little practice wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
“I know,” Dani muttered. “I am tired of being alone. I may not be a virgin but I certainly feel like one, it’s been so long. I’m looking forward to letting my wild side loose in St. Petersburg.”
My Russian Hero Page 2