by A. C. Bextor
“I don’t know. Is he worth it? That kid of yours is half-Irish-whore.” They converse in front of me as if I’m not here. I realize now that my son is their blood and they’ve waited for him; my compliance in bringing him here without fear is needed. I’m the staple of the perfect family photo, the one who holds it all together to avoid others asking too many questions.
Vinnie looks to me and in the darkness of the room, I still make out his face in the city lights coming through the shades. “If she’s trouble, she’s dead. She’s a luxury, Uncle. She’s not a necessity.”
As Marcus gets close and pulls my hair, my oversensitive body reacts and a small scream breaks my armor in the façade of bravery. “Cherry, you remember me, yes?” His accent is thick and his breath is stale. “I need you to listen to me carefully, understand?”
When I don’t respond fast enough, I’m given another yank to my hair, leveling us eye to eye. “Answer.”
Although my throat burns from bile and my thirst is savage, I softly utter a response. “Yes.”
“I’m entitled to your son. I’m his great uncle; his blood is my own. Let me explain this once because, frankly, it bores me to waste my time in doing so. If you run, alone or with him, I’ll rain down on your life in such a way you’ll wish you were already dead.”
I shudder briefly before he continues. “Your son will be sold as punishment for your crime in running away from me the first time. His body will be used as yours once was; a receptacle for men to deposit their dirty and filthy sins of their souls. Do you want this for him?”
My body shakes in response, envisioning Decklan lost, scared, and alone in whatever capacity Marcus deems him to live in. “No.”
“Sarah, is that her name?” He stops, as if waiting for me to answer. I don’t, so he continues as if feeding me knowledge I don’t already have. “She’s only fourteen, Cherry. Just a year younger than you were when we met for the first time. So young and vibrant, her future waits for her, doesn’t it?”
Shaking his head as he tsks softly, he gets closer to me, looming over my face. “If you run, she’ll meet me the same way you once did. She’ll spread those young, beautiful, lean thighs for me and I’ll make her bleed just the same as you did. I wore your innocence for hours after, do you remember? When I’ve finished with her, I’ll ensure she knows you’re the reason she was made to suffer.”
Uncontrollable tears stream down my temples as he holds me in place, once again strengthening his grip on my hair.
“Ace will suffer, but he’ll suffer a living death stained with anger and resentment; so much so he’ll wish he were dead, as well. I’ll pick apart his life bit by bit. I’m not a complete monster. In the end, after Sarah is mine, I’ll tell him you said goodbye to him as I stole your final breath. He’ll pay your debt with his agony, Cherry.”
Shutting my eyes as my heart breaks in my chest, I beg through a breaking sob, “Please. Don’t.”
He doesn’t stop his words of torture, mentally shredding my life in front of me, person by person. He continues as if not hearing my pleas. “Your Peril family will be next. Mr. Hem and Mr. Shame, your precious knights in shining armor, will suffer in watching their beautiful women succumb to my men. They’re not invincible, Cherry; no one is. These men have pride, there’s no doubt, but pride can’t help them forget all the bad things that happened to them, can it? I’ll be sure they know, just like the others, their lives were torn apart because you weren’t strong enough to be the mother and wife you should’ve been all along.”
He’s describing in detail the villainous evils I survived and what each of them will be forced to endure. “Your mother isn’t a kind person; she’s consumed with herself. She’s the reason you became what you are. You blame her, don’t you?”
I shake my head. It’s true. I don’t blame her. I just wished for her to love me the way a mother should love her child; the way I love Decklan.
“She’ll die quick and painless, in thanks for treating you for as the whore you are. However, your father will be broken. Hammers to the knees, Cherry. He’ll bleed for your decision to run. He’ll know, too, that your decision caused his pain.”
Letting go of my hair, my head falls back to the pillow. “You have no choice in this. I won’t explain again. If I have to, or if I find you out of line, I’ll do exactly as I just promised. My words will hold true, do not question or doubt this.”
As he stands above me, looking down now with a softness in his words, he finishes. It’s as though he’s talking to a child, offering a soft lullaby. “Decklan will be in good hands. He’ll have his mother and father. Your parents will spend their miserable lives missing you and him, but it’s a small price to pay in comparison. Ace will grieve the loss of you leaving, but he’ll recover nicely once he meets someone else more suited for him. Sarah will keep her innocence. Your Peril family will remain untouched and none the wiser. Even you, old and broken, will remain under guard and unharmed as long as you’re compliant. I just want my great nephew to take his rightful place within this family. Vinnie will take care of any needs you have, and this will ensure I never have to see your Irish whore face again, dead or alive.”
When he turns back to Vinnie, I exhale with fear. “Did I leave anything out, my nephew?”
Vinnie’s tone is quiet and strained. I’ve never heard fear in his voice, but after the detailed description of terror that was delivered to me, I can only assume he’s nervous, as well. “No, everything’s covered. I’ll clean her up and send her back; this will keep her family in California quiet. It’s a risk, but it’s a necessary one.”
“What about her parents here? Do you have something for them?”
Vinnie, as always, has a plan. “I’m going to take her with me after her face heals to visit her parents. I’ll convince them that I’ve longed for her all these years, and finally she sees the light and understands we belong together. If they don’t accept it, I don’t care. I’ll get the boy back. Cherry’s of age and it’s not kidnapping because she’s going willingly. I’ll handle it.”
Shaking his head, he rubs his chin in thought. “I trust you will, Vincent.”
Turning back to me, I find Marcus’s eyes in the darkness. He runs his finger across my stomach and my muscles contract to the touch, fearing what he’s planning. “I don’t believe she’ll risk anymore, will you?”
I don’t respond. He knows, as well as I do, he has me. My son will be in my care, I can protect him with my compliance. They need me, for now, to ensure his transition. I’ll never know how much time I have left with him, until they don’t need me anymore.
Marcus laughs at my fear, walks away, and heads for the door. “Check her for ticks, Vincent. You don’t know what that rabid dog has brought into your home.”
After Marcus leaves, Vinnie turns on the bathroom light and his silhouette envelopes the room. Rubbing my cheek softly, he whispers his words as though his gentleness will soothe me. “He will kill you, Cherry, and we both know he won’t hesitate. You’re going to do this, without a fight, aren’t you?”
I nod in agreement, knowing what I’m about to do. Going back to say goodbye to Ace will be my final act of freedom.
I let a tear slip down my face, swearing to myself it’ll be the last.
THE DRIVE HOME from picking Cherry up from the airport is quiet. Her voice has lost all enthusiasm, her skin is pale, and she’s fidgeted the entire way. She’s another person. She’s just been gone three days, but I don’t recognize her at all.
She’s got bruising under the heavy makeup she’s wearing. I haven’t asked about it, but I will. She knows I hate that shit and since she’s been here, she’s never worn it to this degree. She won’t look at me; another indication, something’s very wrong.
“Baby, are you hungry?” I ask this not because I think she is, but I’m attempting to bring her out of herself and focus. I remember her behaviors when she used drugs at Peril. It was me who took care of her, attempting to hide her habit from th
e others.
She shakes her head in response.
Reaching across the front seat, I put my hand in hers. She’s cold to the touch and although it’s fall, Las Vegas is far from freezing this time of year. “Are you gonna talk to me or did you come back a mute?” I say this jokingly, but truth surrounds the question.
She looks ahead to the road in front of us and gives me a pacifying response. “I’m okay, just a long flight. I need a shower.”
I don’t answer, hoping what she says is truth. Since we’ve come here from Ohio, I’ve never questioned her, and I don’t want to start now considering she just left Decklan behind and won’t see him for another three weeks.
I rub her hand, letting her know I’m here.
Once we get to the apartment, Sarah breaks our grave mood. “Rae! So, get this: I have a boyfriend.”
Sarah’s been waiting with anticipation to tell Cherry the news of her pre-adult nuptials. As Cherry stares at her while she continues to explain, Sarah’s voice falls flat. Even at fourteen, she senses something completely amiss between them.
Sarah backs up, heading toward her room, leaving Bean, Cherry and me standing in the living room. “I’m gonna go start my homework. I’ve got school tomorrow. Good to have you back, Raegan.”
No comment, no smile, no greeting at all goes back to Sarah in reply.
Bean makes her way over, standing in front of Cherry and putting her hands to Cherry’s face, careful to balance without the use of her cane or a piece of furniture. “Sweetheart, are you all right?”
Cherry steps back, and Bean lets her hands fall to her side. Bean looks to me and I give her a quick nod, asking her to leave us; she does without question. “I’m going to go help Sarah. Math, I’m good at, so I hope it’s Math she’s got waitin’ in there for me.” Bean pauses, then looks deeply into Cherry, searching and assessing. “You need anything, honey, you holler. I’m here.”
Again with the empty nod of acknowledgement. I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m about to find out.
Before I can grab her, to hold her, to feel her, Cherry walks away and into our room. I follow softly, not wanting to scare her with the anger I feel pulsating from every pore. I’ve missed her, but this isn’t the same vibrant person that left me Thursday morning.
Standing in the bedroom, watching her gather my clothes from the floor, I interrupt her determination to clean. “Hey. What’s goin’ on in here? What are you doing?”
She doesn’t look at me, but this time uses her words to answer. Her tone is evidence of her dismay; she’s picking a fight. “What’s it look like I’m doing?”
Walking to her, in search of her warmth but guarding my intent under the rouge of annoyance, I grab her around the waist and pull her back into my chest. She sighs softly, leaning back into me for support. Sensing her break in armor, I lower my voice and whisper in her ear. “You need to tell me what the fuck is happening here.”
She doesn’t answer, but her eyes close in relief. This is the first time since I picked her up an hour ago I sense the tension passing from her body. Prodding her, I kiss her temple. Moving her hair from her neck, I lean down and gently kiss her. “Tell me, Rae.”
Her name triggers her to move and she does it quickly. Darting from my arms, she grabs her still-packed bag and makes her way to the bathroom. Not about to let her get away without talking, I follow but before I can make it to her, she slams the door in my face.
Bean comes out from her bedroom, her concern voiced through her question, “What’s wrong with her, Ace?”
Quietly, I turn to Bean and offer everything and nothing that I know. “I don’t have a clue.”
Quickly thinking, Bean figures out that we have an issue that needs addressed without an audience. “Sarah, honey, grab your stuff. Mary needs us next door, okay?”
Sarah doesn’t answer, but I hear her grabbing her things from her room. In quick instance, I feel Sarah’s arms coming from around my back, holding me tightly to her. I turn around so I can hug her, kissing her softly on the crown of her hair. “Go, squirt. It’ll be fine.”
Looking up at me, her eyes are brimming with tears. As her big brother, it pains me to see her hurting. “She’s leaving now, isn’t she?”
I’m lying to my sister, because I don’t have that answer. “No. She’s not. Get outta here so I can see what’s wrong with her. I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast before I go to work.”
Letting me go, she walks with Bean slowly to the door. Once Sarah makes her way there, she turns after Bean’s already left. “Hope she’s all right. Love you.”
I offer her a half smile, hoping to give her less worry. “I’ll text you later. Love you, too. Now get to Bean before she wanders off.”
After they go, I turn to the bathroom door and knock. No answer. I knock again, nothing. The water from the shower starts to run.
Fuck this.
Gathering my strength, I turn the weak door handle, breaking the lock, and make my way in. I find Cherry fully-dressed, sitting on the toilet seat, her hands on her thighs and head toward the floor, and she’s openly crying.
I make my way to her, again softly, and kneel in front of her. Lifting her face toward mine, I wipe the tears falling from her eyes. “You have to talk to me. Please, I can’t take this anymore.”
His body will be used as yours once was; a receptacle for men to deposit their dirty and filthy sins of their souls.
I can’t tell him goodbye. This hurts; everything hurts. The whole flight here I prepared. I mentally told myself how I was going to explain this, word for word. I knew it was going to be hard, if not impossible, but I’ve endured worse hardship.
Physical pain, although it damages, is simple. Its fury comes in a rush, sometimes lingers, but eventually the ache subsides. Emotional pain is terrifying and relentless. Its memory holds you; becomes part of you, never allowing its escape.
“You have to talk to me. Please, I can’t take this anymore.” His voice is warm, coaxing, and gentle. Closing my eyes, I savor the safety of this moment. I’ll never know it again.
Trying to regain my breath, I open my eyes and find him staring at me with so much love and sincerity. Ace’s never said the words, but like both pain and emotion, I know he feels it. He loves me, making this all that much harder to end.
In the end, after Sarah is mine, I’ll tell him you said goodbye to him as I stole your final breath. He’ll pay your debt with his agony.
“I’m okay. I’m just emotional. You were right before, this is starting to take a toll on me.”
Wrapping me in his large and secure arms, I surrender to his guard. For the next few hours, at least, he’s mine to have. “I love you, Ace.” My shoulders shake and my words hitch with each spoken. “I do, I love you. God, please...” I can’t finish.
Standing up, he takes me with him, removing my shirt, my bra, and unzipping my jeans. This doesn’t feel sexual. It’s an act exacted with only care and concern.
Using his shoulder as leverage, I lean on him as he bends to remove my shoes and socks, taking my pants with them. I’m naked in front of him, but this isn’t why I’m exposed. He sees me. Ace is a protector; a guardian by nature. He’s watched me for months; every mood, every doubt, every emotion. I don’t have to wonder how much he can sense.
“Get in the shower.” Although direct, his tone is still cautious.
I stand in front of him, waiting for him to admit what he’s seeing.
Can you feel this, Ace? This is our goodbye.
He undresses in front of me, as if we’ve done this for years and have a million tomorrows to do the same. Once his clothes are gone, he comes to me, leans down, and kisses me as if he’s never kissed me before and as if he’ll never kiss me again.
He knows without words, this is all we have.
I go with him, letting him guide us one last time. Giving us his final piece, I take only what he offers. With so much uncertainty ahead, I leave him to lead us our now.
; Pushing me toward the shower and testing the water, he motions me in first. Once inside with me, he lathers the soap and bends, resting on his knees. Massaging my foot, calf, and thigh, he changes position and offers the next in turn. He doesn’t look at me as I study him, committing his heart to memory.
Diligently, he continues up my body; my stomach, the V at the top of my thighs, my breasts, my arms. Softly, he lays kisses on my neck, one after another. I hear his humming, the familiar rhythm without words igniting me, drawing me to him.
After he’s done, I move toward him to do the same. I want to touch him, succumb to his warmth in our safe place here alone; no one else but us knows what this is.
Grabbing my hands before I can feel him, he pulls away. Always wearing his emotions on his face, I see he’s hesitant to say anything. I don’t interrupt his stare, I only smile softly, holding his eyes.
His fingers gently trace the bruising from the visit with Vinnie. His eyes are angry, but he’s restraining his words. I’ll tell him everything before I go. I’ve accepted that Ace has always been honest with me, and he deserves the same respect. He won’t like what’s happening, but he’ll have no choice but to accept it.
Make them believe you, Cherry. I’m giving you a chance to spend the rest of your life with your son.
Shutting the water off, he finds the towel and begins to dry me off in the same fashion he cleaned me. Neither of us talk. We’ve nothing to say.
Grabbing my hand and taking me to his room, he lays me down and blankets himself on top of me. This is a practiced act between us. He knows my body and what he intends to do with it.
His hands find my thighs and gripping them tightly, he pulls them apart and rests himself between them. I feel him pulsate outside my entrance as he sucks the skin above my nipple, leaving his mark.
His hips jerk once, sliding onto me, exposing me to him. I feel his cock rub my clit gently. He stops, kisses me roughly and repeats the motion… again and again. My body responds, directing its own movement with his. Before I’m ready, he enters with the same desperation I feel. Our connection is granted, letting the raw desperation take flight.