“Hunter,” I warned softly. My heart ached with what I knew I couldn’t allow to happen.
He slid his arms around me, and when he spoke, his voice dropped to a husky growl. “No. I’m not asking to fuck you. I wouldn’t do that now. But I want you to know, I need more than what we’ve had. I want us to move forward. Not now, not tomorrow, but soon, when you’re well.”
“It can’t happen.” I pulled away from him and turned to go back to the wall, to put distance between us. “I won’t force you into the kind of life being with me would bring.”
“You aren’t forcing me. I want this. I want us.” His fingers closed around mine, making me turn my face up to his. “I won’t push when you’re not a hundred percent. I can’t take advantage. But you need to know, I want you so much my wolf feels like it’s trying to tear a hole through me.”
Jesus Christ. After all this time. My heart felt like it would burst, half swelled with love, half with loss.
Part of me wanted him to push, to toss me on the mattress and take me until we were both left panting and sweating on this old, rickety cot. The other half was terrified he’d stop fighting his need, unwilling to even think of what would happen if being with me got him killed. And not just from monsters or the Dragonwatch.
“I can’t do this now, okay?” Throat tight, I jerked my hand out of his. “I can’t.”
Before he could reply, I turned and left the cabin, letting the door thump closed behind me. I thought I heard him mutter, something about pushing too fucking hard.
I leaned against the wall, head dropping back against it. Damn it, I loved him. I just couldn’t let myself be that selfish.
Would I still change into a blood thirsty Demon Wolf? And what would it mean if I didn’t?
Fuck, I wouldn’t let myself hurt him.
How I was tired enough to sleep after being unconscious for the better part of a day, I had no idea, but by 3AM, I was ready to sleep for a week.
Was the fatigue a sign that the sickness would return? Or was this just a normal part of recovery? Looking through my dad’s book on Rakar provided no answers.
We’d gathered firewood from near the cabin and got a good fire going in the hearth. Having gone without eating since before the Weatherby farm, I was starving. We heated ravioli in a pot over the flames. After eating, I turned in. Knowing that the Allentown PD were looking for us, I wanted to be on the road, headed for another containment cabin. The nearest one was half a day’s drive, but Hunter insisted we remain where we were until he was sure the fever wouldn’t return. I had no good argument for that, not when I knew what would happen if we were stuck on the road when my body decided to shift.
I took the cot while Hunter lay on the couch reading one of my dad’s memoirs. He’d shut off the hanging bulb and lit my dad’s lantern. Sitting on the coffee table beside him, the lantern provided enough illumination to read by. From my place across the room in the cage, the light was low enough not to keep me awake.
Lying in the cot alone, worry over my father, and over what might become of me because of Rakar’s bite, fought for headspace. A shiver stole over me, bone-deep despite the warmth of the cabin, and I pulled the blankets closer around me.
How the hell could I be Rakar’s mate? Of course, he was lying; I felt silly even considering his words. And yet, if I was mated to him, it certainly explained why I hadn’t died. As to why I hadn’t shifted, perhaps my body was just waiting for the right time. Or, perhaps the first shift had to be triggered by something.
God damn it, there was far too little to go on when it came to a Demon Wolf’s bite.
I flipped onto my back. No way was I the fated mate to the messenger of all evil. He appeared to me because of my magic, drawn by its use, that was all.
But then, why was he trying so much harder to get my attention now?
Only two weeks ago, I’d lost that amulet my father had given me in a fight with a vamp. She’d knocked my sword out of my hand before I could slice off her head, and the only way to get hold of the weapon again was to use air and magic it into my hand. The use of the magic made the amulet visible, something that would be affected by touch. The vampire had ripped it off my neck in the scuffle, and the amulet had fallen to the floor, cracked when I’d accidentally stepped on it. I killed the vamp, but I no longer had the protection from Dragonlords who could sense my power.
Forced to go deeper off the grid, I’d spent the last two weeks moving from containment cabin to containment cabin, avoiding hotels or registered camp grounds. I’d been near Allentown when Chief Lawson—he wouldn’t have betrayed me—had called me for help with a series of wolf attacks.
The first attack on a farm in Allentown had also happened two weeks ago. At the same time I’d lost my amulet. The amulet’s being cracked meant the shield it created around me would have been disabled. I’d known Rakar was trying to get my attention, but I hadn’t known why. What if…
Another shiver stole over me. I closed my eyes, willing away the obvious answer. I couldn’t be. If I was his, why had he waited until now to lay claim to me?
Or had he? Had he attacked others, and I just hadn’t known? Had my father known and not told me?
God, had Dad encountered Rakar more than the once or twice he’d told me about, chasing him not from towns where he’d heard of other witches living, but as a result of the Demon Wolf looking for me?
I pulled the blankets closer around me again, but it didn’t dispel the chill.
The couch creaked as Hunter sat up and looked over the backrest at me. “Helena? You all right?”
“I’m fine. Just cold.” I clenched my jaw so he wouldn’t hear my teeth chattering.
More creaking when he stood up. Picking up the lantern from the table, he came over to the cage and unlocked the door, brow furrowed. “It’s seventy-five degrees outside right now.” He set the lantern down on the bedside table, then lowered himself onto the cot and felt my forehead with the back of his hand. “Are you feeling all right? Other than being cold?”
He wanted to make sure he didn’t have to cuff me to the wall again. I nodded and took his hand. Looked into his eyes, hoping he could see there was no demon lurking there.
“I’m good. It’s just a chill. I was thinking about what Rakar said.”
“About you being his mate.” He squinted at the wall, a muscle working in that strong jaw. In the lantern light, that neck chain and my ring gleamed, resting between his fabulous pecs. With that leather jacket on, he looked incredibly badass, his chest and abs gorgeously ripped.
My nipples hardened, sudden and sharp, almost painful. From looking at his muscles? What the hell? Hunter was hot, but really? I prided myself on my self-control. It usually took more than bulging muscles to get me going.
“Your dad’s book says Rakar lies to get people to follow Shandar. To get them to swear fealty to him.”
“Where did he learn that?”
“He wrote about interrogating a werecoyote who became a follower of Shandar. Your dad managed to get him to talk about where the rest of his pack was holed up. The coyote said that once Shandar has someone under his spell, it’s like he owns their soul. If the person has magic, he can control their powers. He’s just trying to get you to give him control.”
I rolled onto my back, looking up at him. “You have no idea how cool it is that you know this stuff. You sound like a cool monster fighter guy.”
A smile dispelled the worried look on his face. Every muscle in my body tightened deliciously. “Is that hotter than being a cop?”
Considering that an ache had started between my legs with just the thought… “Way hotter.”
Jesus Christ, the idea of him hunting demons, slaying vamps, killing evil wolves made my pussy clench. I shivered, yet my nipples jabbed at my shirt.
Holy hell, what was wrong with me? I was hardly hard up for sex. Being on the run meant never letting anyone close to me. No relationships, but I’d taken men for pleasure before. Hey, I had needs,
and anything more than a hot, sweaty night was out of the question. So, why was my body behaving as if I hadn’t had sex in years?
“Hunter, you’d better get out of here.”
“Why?” He pushed a lock of hair off my cheek. There was so much love, so much tenderness in his eyes. Damn, I wanted him.
“Because. If you don’t, I might tear your clothes off.”
One of his brows quirked. I wanted to pull him onto the cot with me, take all the warmth he had to give, but I made myself move to the other side of the mattress, putting distance between us. He smelled fantastic, like something animal and primal. Masculine, spicy.
Ready.
Hunter stood up, and I thought he was going to leave, go back to the couch. Relief mingled with a pang of disappointment. But instead of walking out of the cage, he slid the jacket off and set it in the chair he’d been sitting in earlier. The movement made every muscle ripple, more so now that his arms and wide back were bare. That black tattoo around his bicep, the one he’d gotten when we first met, still gave him that hint of edgy danger I loved. My mouth watered.
“Hunter, did you hear what I said?” I sat up. “You need to go.”
But he undid his pants and slid them off, leaving only his tight briefs behind. The black underwear clung to his strong thighs and square hips. A huge bulge stood out between his legs, looking barely contained inside the front of those briefs.
Oh God. Hunter. Ten years and here he finally was in all his glory.
“Move over.” He nudged my shoulder.
I pushed out a torn sigh. “Hunter.”
“I’ll behave. You need body heat. Speaking of which, take your clothes off.”
“Seriously?”
“Strip.”
“Bossy.” Under the blankets, I wriggled out of my leather pants, then stripped off my shirt. “I’m leaving my underwear on.” I forced defiance into my tone.
“Fine, but everything else comes off.”
Rolling my eyes, I lay back, pulled the blankets up to my neck, and then undid and tossed aside my bra. Hunter watched me with a hint of a smirk. The smoldering look in his eyes made my mouth go dry.
“Good,” he said when I was done. “Shove over.”
Fuck, how could I say no, especially when the command in his tone made my nipples ache?
I scooted over to the left side of the cot a little more, leaving him enough room. Hunter pulled back the covers and climbed in beside me, his heat already driving away most of the cold that seemed to have seeped into me.
“I don’t need you to take care of me, Hunter.” But there was no conviction in my words, and even as I said them, I gave another chilled shiver. He raised a brow pointedly at me.
“Turn over.”
“I thought you said you wouldn’t push.” But I was smiling teasingly.
“I promised I wouldn’t take advantage, and I won’t.”
Damn.
Grumbling, I turned over so that I lay with my back to him. His arm slid around me, pulling me close, deep into the heat of his muscled frame.
“This is a bad idea,” I muttered.
“Why?” He nuzzled my hair, breathing in my scent as if he meant to imprint it on his memory.
“Because.”
“Because you’re in heat.”
I jerked my face up. “Please don’t say it that way. It makes me sound like I’m his. Like I’m a Demon Wolf.”
“Sorry.”
“Is that a wolf thing? Can you smell that I’m…” I couldn’t make myself say it.
“Yes.”
I licked my lips. “How…how does it smell?”
“It smells fantastic.” He chuckled at my widened eyes while his fingers started making lazy circles on my bare belly. The sensation made my stomach dance. “I could lick every inch of you.”
“Um.” I turned my head away, grinning, my face hot. He’d said it so matter of fact. The ache between my legs intensified with the thought of his mouth, his tongue exploring every inch of me.
We’d never even kissed. Once or twice, we’d come close, faces drawn together in the dark in his car after a day of pursuing leads on my father, but I’d always run before anything more happened. Lying here with him now, pressed against him with his strong arms around me, was like a fantasy come true.
And it didn’t help my willpower one bit that I could feel the hard bulge of his need against my ass cheek.
“If you want me that bad, how come you’re so calm? I thought wolves were supposed to go all beastly when they got hot? You should be clawing at the sheets.”
He made a low noise in his throat. “It’s taking everything in me not to fuck you silly.”
“You don’t seem all that worked up.” I turned in the bed to face him. His cock pressed into my thigh, like steel.
“I don’t?” His mouth quirked.
I trapped my bottom lip between my teeth. My nipples pebbled. He had to feel them poking at his chest.
“Sorry.” I tried to squirm into a position where he wouldn’t feel them. The amusement in his eyes said it all; he had noticed.
“I like it. Stay still.”
“You’re hot when you go all commando.”
He chuckled at the use of his own words from earlier. He slid his big palm over my hip, cupped my ass and pulled me hard against him. The heat radiating from him, far more intense because of his wolf, seeped all the way to my toes.
“Seriously, how are you so cool about this?”
He rested his head on his hand, his fingers making more lazy circles on my hip. My skin tingled, making me squirm into him. His cock jerked against me, pressing against the cloth of his briefs like it meant to punch a hole through them. When he spoke, desire turned his voice throaty, and his eyes were dark with lust, but otherwise, he spoke as if nothing was happening. Totally cool.
“When I was young, my father had these exercises he had me do every day. My wolf started to manifest around the time I was five. Older than normal, probably because I’m half human. According to him, by the time I was eight, I had increased speed and strength, better than human senses. And a hell of a temper when I got mad. My bones hurt, like my body was trying to change. The exercises taught me to keep calm and controlled the wolf’s reactions.”
“Do you still do them?” I ran my thumb over his tattoo, stroking the black ink lines.
“Every day.”
“What type of exercises are they?”
“Meditative stuff, mostly. Burning specialized incense.”
“So you never turn wolfy? You never lose control of the beast?”
“I wouldn’t say never. I come close on a full moon. It happened twice when I was a kid. When my father…”
“What?”
He closed his eyes. “Never mind. Let’s just say, my dad’s an ass, and we’ve never seen eye to eye. It takes a lot to get me to wolf out. I haven’t fully shifted. There’s just more hair than I’d like, and I feel like tearing someone’s throat out. And my dad says my eyes change.”
“And I’m not enough to make you change. I should work harder.” I forced a smile, shoving down the knot of insecurity tightening in my belly.
“Hey.” He drew his lips to within an inch of mine and yanked me tight against him. His hips moved, bringing his cock to brush hard against my sex, his briefs and my panties suddenly seeming like flimsy barriers. “Do you feel that? Do you feel what you do to me?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just put my leg over his hip. As soon as I did so, the new position spread my legs and cradled his cock between them, right against my core. Wild heat flared through me. I tried to pull back.
“Stay.” He held me in place.
I bit my lip, but remained where I was. I couldn’t have made myself pull away from him for all the money in the world.
“You don’t get it, do you? I could pound you into this bed until you’re all mine. I’m this close to biting you, marking you as my mate for life.”
Memories cycled through
my head, of all the things my dad had me read on weres. Much of the biology was the same between species. Like any other were, wolves bit their mates during sex, a sign they were bonded for life. The idea of him marking me while he fucked me from behind made my sex slick. My whole body heated again until I moaned.
“You’re not helping me here, Hunter.”
“Good.” But he still kept his promise, making no move to take me. His hand slid to my ass again, cupping it in calloused warmth, but that was all.
“What’s stopping you?”
“If I fuck you now, I know I won’t be able to finish without marking you. I’ve been in love with you from minute one, Helena.”
“Again, not helping.”
He grinned. I moved to roll over again so that my back was to him. His arm braced me to him.
“I have super strength, you know,” I reminded him. “I can get away.”
“So do it.”
“I can’t stand this.” I put my head back. Every muscle in my body felt taut, my sex aching until it was impossible to ignore. I was no prude, but I wasn’t into shamelessly masturbating with an audience. Yet at that moment, it took everything I had not to stroke myself to release right in front of him.
“Let me help you,” he rasped.
“What?”
But his fingers were already sliding between our bodies, trailing down between my thighs.
“Hunter….Hunter…oh, wow.”
Two of his fingers slid through my slick folds, stroking my clit until I rutted against his hand.
“I thought you said we wouldn’t do anything.” His strokes were making it impossible to form thoughts, every movement taking my need higher.
“I said I wouldn’t fuck you. I didn’t say anything about getting you off.”
Before I could reply, his other hand tipped my face up, and his lips found mine.
The heat of his mouth drove me wild. Then his tongue flicked over mine, pure fire, and I groaned. Suddenly, my arms were around him, and he’d rolled me over onto my back. One hand dove into my hair, while his fingers continued to tease. He found the right spots, alternating the pressure on my clit until I cursed and made love to his touch. I ate his kiss.
Dragonsteel: Shadowsword's Harem (Book One) (Reverse Harem Urban Fantasy Romance) Page 17