“But what?”
“He’s not you.”
Damian embraced her and lay with his forehead against hers, “Then don’t go back, okay?”
Damian, she felt, didn’t fight fair. He didn’t fight at all really and that was a surprise. She had expected his anger, real physical anger, punching walls or knocking down doors. But what she got were his feelings, true raw emotions. He loved her completely and deeply. Damn him, he made things difficult.
A voice broke over the intercom, “Incoming! All hands on deck!” Damian was dressed in lightning speed and out the door not waiting for her.
Jillian wasn’t far behind. She ran down the corridor as an impact blast hit the ship and she was slammed into the wall.
“Captain to the bridge!” Sputtered from the intercom, then nothing but static.
Jillian heard the anxiety bordering on hysteria in the voice she recognized as Kevin’s. When she arrived at the bridge it was apparent the ship was already moving. “Who gave the order to take off?”
“We were sitting ducks there.” Damian barked out. “Not mention drawing attention to the Antareans.”
He said the word Antarean with a definite note of derision. Jillian was forced to hold on as Damian swerved, driving wildly to avoid an enemy fighter jet.
“Who are they?” Jillian asked.
“Titans, they must have followed us.” Kevin answered.
“They suck in too much methane all day long, makes them do crazy things.” Damian, despite his harsh words, appeared to be enjoying himself.
Titan was the largest moon of Saturn, and Jillian knew its inhabitants were known for their aggression and war-mongering. Antares was impenetrable, her crew were the only concern she had now. Damian was right, they were sitting ducks there. Leaving the space dock was a good call, but what now?
“Get your head in the game, Captain.” Damian said.
He called her Captain for the first time ever. The next few moments would be critical and he was giving her room to take command. Who would have thought seriousness and respect were qualities Damian McCaffrey possessed? Her choice just got more difficult.
Jillian sat in the captain’s seat and opened the ship wide intercom, “Battle stations,” she said and a flurry of crew members were in place in mere seconds.
“Anderson, take the pilot’s seat.” Jillian commanded. Damian eyes flashed rage at her, he obviously thought she was dismissing him. “McCaffrey, take the gunner’s chair.”
Damian eyes went wide and the whole crew silently turned to gape at her. She was known for avoiding battles and violence at all costs. She prized keeping her crew safe, feeling it was better to have the record for never having lost a crew member, than winning even one battle. But she knew their ship could not out run theses small jets. “It appears this is a fight we cannot avoid.”
Damian strapped in and muttered under his breath, “Aye, aye, Captain.”
“Fire at will Lieutenant McCaffrey.” Jillian’s eyes were riveted to the console screen. And fire he did. He had the best reflexes of anyone she’d ever seen.
“Captain!” Mr. Anderson swiveled to face Jillian. “Six more on our starboard side.”
Someone would have to take the other gunner’s chair if the ship was to remain intact. Jillian briefly looked over her fledgling crew and knew there was only one choice. It took her only a second to make that assessment and one second more to put herself in the other gunner chair.
The Titan fighter jets were small and quick, but the firepower of her ship far outmatched theirs. She picked off three in quick succession which earned her a low whistle from Damian. She knew he lived for this stuff, but who was she kidding, she loved it too. She caught his grin and thought again, how could I leave that behind? “Evasive maneuvers Mr. Anderson,” Jillian said.
“Aye, Captain!”
“We got the bastards on the run!” Damian shouted.
The next few moments were tense, as the crew were thrown about by the jolting moves of the ship. Jillian and Damian kept after the enemy jets until they shot down the last of the Titans. The ship was righted, Jillian exhaled and the crew on the bridge erupted in cheering. Her first battle. Jillian’s heart was racing, it would take her some time to calm down from this. She locked eyes with Damian. And she could tell exactly what he was thinking and she felt the same way.
“Mr. Andersen, take the helm.”
With a fast stride Jillian headed for her cabin with Damian on her heels, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the first bathroom they came to. He threw the bolt and pushed her up against the door, his lips on hers. When he grabbed her hair, Jillian’s eyes went wide in surprise, then in one zip and he had her stripped. In the next second she did him the same favor. She felt his hardness crushing up against her. He kissed her again and placed both his hands on her breasts tweaking the nipples to hardness and evoking a small moan from her. Then he let one hand trail down her body and placed a finger inside her causing a gasp of surprise. He knew she was more than ready. She reached out and stroked him to full arousal. Given there was little room in the cramped cubicle, he sat on the commode and Jillian straddled him taking his full hard length in one fluid stride. He emitted an oath and gazed at her with a mixture of love and admiration. His hands caressing her hips, pulling her closer and himself deeper into her. She couldn’t help but let her head fall back, he couldn’t help but bring his mouth to her breasts. His hands grasped her hips and moved her up and down quickening their pace. She cried out but he kept going bringing her to a second crescendo before his own noise signaled his release.
The two slumped together, exhausted and breathing heavily. How could she ever leave this? Why would she ever want to? They were made for each other. They had the same sense of humor, the same desire for action and were obviously compatible sexually. Very compatible.
Jillian giggled.
“What exactly is so funny, woman?”
“I hope no one heard all our noise.” And then thought about Antares and the couple making love right in front of everyone and her judgment of it. It did seem silly to be affronted at the open display. If two people are so in love they can’t keep their hands off each other, why should others object?
Then she thought of Tae.
Damian felt the change immediately. “Hey, where did you go?”
“Nowhere,” she said, but found she couldn’t look at him.
“You’re thinking of him? Now? At a time like this?” Fury blazed in his countenance.
“No, well yes, I was thinking - I have to tell him. I’ve made my choice.” Now she fully looked into his eyes.
He placed both hands on either side of her face. He smiled. “I love you. I will always love you. I will never be with another.”
“And I love you and I always will.” She put her lips to his and in their deepening kiss they ran hands over each other and she hoped he didn’t notice she omitted the third line.
Damian walked her back to her quarters. “Can I come in, stay the night with you?”
“Not tonight.”
He frowned.
“I just want to sleep. Alone.”
Damian grabbed her ass, pulling her close, “as long as you’re alone, Blondie.”
“I told you, I made up my mind.”
“Yeah? Is it still good for me?”
She nodded.
Damian smiled and winked at her, then sauntered away whistling.
Jillian realized she had only to look at Damian to get excited, to be fully ready for sex, he had that instantaneous effect on her. How could she give any of this up? She loved her job. And she was in love with Damian. He was the perfect human male, the obvious choice for her. Being with someone of her own species would be so much easier. She could envision a future together. The normalcy, a routine she liked and was used to. There was something comforting about it.
Her mind was definitely made up.
CHAPTER NINE
To Tae, only a few hours had passed since
he had last been with Jillian, yet he felt distinctly unwell. If she would not agree to be with him, this was all he had to look forward to, a sickly life alone and most certainly very soon death. Still, if he could not be with her, he did not want to live anyway.
To Tae’s mind human beings were a puzzle and impossible to fathom with their irrational fears and perplexing ambiguities. Human females on the other hand were beyond figuring out. An unsolvable conundrum.
He knew Jillian loved him and did not want to hurt him, yet her thoughts floated out and he couldn’t avoid absorbing them. This love, this desire she had for this other man. It was such an oddity. No Antarean could ever love more than one person. It just was not possible.
What was he to do about Jillian? Something told him everything he’d ever been taught, everything he’d ever thought was true, everything he’d ever done, would be useless to him now. His strength and tenacity would be tested. Which was unfortunate given how weak he felt. This time away from Jillian had drained him of his vitality and much of his hope.
Unusual as the circumstances were, he, an Antarean, in love with a human, she had gotten under his skin and straight into his heart. He had to have her. He’d as soon have his right arm hacked off as to lose her. She was the only one for him. And the thought of being apart from his soul mate brought him to unspeakable grief. To live his life alone, without her, knowing all the time where she was and never contacting her would be maddening.
Tae decided to pull out all the stops, to do whatever it took to win her heart or die trying.
CHAPTER TEN
When Jillian returned to Antares it was with a heavy heart. She did not want to hurt Tae in any way, he really was very sweet, a wonderful man who no doubt would be a great catch for some Antarean woman. If she were to be honest she had to admit to herself that she felt a pang of jealously at the thought of him being with someone else, even though she knew she had no right to that jealousy. She was determined to break it off cleanly, quickly and get back to the ship. Quick would be the kindest way.
She found Tae sitting on the steps outside his home, looking like a lost puppy. She smiled at him, but then noticed was how sick he looked and was filled with immediate concern.
“I have missed you, my love.” Tae gazed at her in open infatuation. “Your feelings of apprehension do my heart good.”
“I am worried about you,” Jillian said and caught herself before she almost said my love, “but I have to tell you something.”
“You needn’t say a word,” Tae looked so defeated. “I know. I hear your thoughts. You are going to another - love.” He almost spat out that last word.
“I’m sorry Tae,” she said, “but in time you will find someone else.”
“You are my only. My one true love.”
“I know it may feel that way now, but I think it will be better for you if you’re with one of your own people.”
“No, my love, it is you who does not understand. I cannot. It is not possible for me. I am bound to you for all eternity. You are my soul mate.”
”Why me? I’m nothing special.”
“Never say that, you are wonderful and special to me. My one true love, there will never be another for me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This is the way it is for all Antareans, once we fall in love it is with that one person, only that one.”
“Is this just because we had sex?”
“Yes, t is an unbreakable bound. But I do not believe my body would not have responded to you if we weren’t meant to be together.”
Jillian felt such regret at her foolishness in having sex with him. And now she was stuck, not only in a potentially diplomatic mess, but hurting another being, however alien, she had messed up his life.
Tae coughed and gave her a weak smile. “Do not despair my love, the good thing is everyone is having the oral sex now.”
“Oh, really?” Jillian laughed.
“Yes, it’s very popular and everyone is very happy with you. Some want to give you a national holiday.”
“Oral sex day? Well that’s something to be known for.”
Tae’s friends, Nahi and Jahae, approached. Jillian noted the looks of concern on their faces. Tae, as usual with his impeccable manners, rose and went in the house to get refreshments. Jillian started to go with him, but Nahi stopped her.
Once Tae was out of earshot she turned to Jillian and said, “Do you really mean not to be his soul mate?”
Jillian wondered if Tae had told her or was Nahi picking up on her thoughts. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I belong here. Don’t you think he’d be better off with one of his own kind?”
“Absolutely.” There was no mistaking the tone of anger in Nahi’s voice. “But he has bound himself to you, you and no other.”
“What if someone’s life mate dies, can’t an Antarean marry again?” Jillian asked.
“Usually if one dies, the other dies soon after. No one has two loves, no one. It’s just not done.”
Jahae gently took her arm, “Nahi - ”
Nahi pulled away. This was the most violent outburst Jillian had witnessed of these gentle people. “No, she should be told. You have the right to know before you regret your actions. Tae would not want you to know this, but if you leave him, dying of a broken heart is a distinct possibility.”
Tae returned with a tray of four beverages but stopped when he noted the awkward and tense silence. He then gave Nahi an exasperated shake of his head.
“We’ll leave you my friend.” Jahae said, then he and Nahi made their goodbyes. Jillian and Tae sat down again, the tension still palpable.
If it wasn’t for Damian, Jillian could envision herself being happy here. But her life with Damian and her job were all somewhere else. Still, she couldn’t do this to Tae. Jillian felt absolutely torn in two. Who could have imagined such a problem? To be wildly in love with not one but two men and them both in love with her. Most women would kill for such a problem.
But when it really happens, it is no fun.
She never thought in her whole life she’d even experience such a problem, or the agony that threatened to rip her apart. She would have to hurt one man greatly, but hurt herself even more than that. To cut herself off wholly from either one of them was unthinkable to her. Yet think about it was all she could do.
Well, there was one more thing she could do at the same time.
That was cry.
Jillian felt a fool that she had made such a mess of everything. She was hurting everyone including herself. If only there was a way all three of them could be happy. “Let me ask you something - could you - ”
“Yes?”
“Would you be willing to share me with another man? Could you do that?
Tae in his unique way of looking sad and adoring all at the same time, said, “Is your heart being torn in two?”
“Yes,” she cried. He was too damned understanding, too perfect, too nice. Once again, she felt, how could she leave him?
“I would not like to share you with anyone,” Tae said softly.
Jillian nodded, resigned.
“But I would do that for you.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
When she returned before she could say anything Damian threw her up against the wall and whispered, “You don’t know how much I think about you. I keep making these elaborate plans and promises to myself to go slow with you, to draw out the pleasure, then as soon as I lay eyes on you - or get within two feet of you - ”
“Things explode - we explode.”
“Exactly.”
Jillian smiled, “Fast and furious works for me, too, but first I must talk to you - ”
Damian cut Jillian off by planting his lips on hers and passionately kissing her. He didn’t let her up for air for the next ten minutes. But after that she said, “Seriously, Damian, we have to talk.”
“Wait, before you say anything. This is only my flight school ring, but I promise to get you a nicer one if you ac
cept this one. Marry me.”
Jillian’s eyes grew wide. She hesitated, what she had to say would no doubt kill the mood.
“Don’t answer that.” Damian said. “Come back later, tonight in my quarters, we’ll have dinner. And I’ll do this the right way.”
Jillian arrived at Damian’s cabin at six sharp. He opened the door and when they saw each other, Jillian took in a sharp breath and Damian’s mouth hung open. Jillian had on a red slinky dress with very low cleavage and her blond hair hung soft and loose around her face. Damian’s face was shaved and he wore his uniform. Each was stunned at the other’s appearance.
Damian appeared flabbergasted. “You look - ”
“Hot?” Jillian put her hands on her waist and tipped her hips to one side.
“I was going to say feminine.”
“Well, that works too.”
“But hot? Hell, yes.” He gave her his roguish smile.
“And you look - ” Jillian’s gaze raked over him appreciatively.
“Devilishly handsome?”
“I was going to say professional, but devilishly handsome works too.”
Damian continued to look her up and down, unable to take his eyes off her. “You know this is the first time I’ve seen you out of uniform.”
“Well, that’s not strictly true.” Jillian smirked and batted her eyelashes at him.
Damian came towards her with a leering look. Laughing she backed up a few steps until she couldn’t go any further. He leaned against the wall with one arm and played with the hem of her dress. His fingers pulling the edge up slowly, giving her a sexy smile. She expected him to go for her breasts first, men being predictable. But instead he kneeled down in front of her, his eyes never leaving hers. He lifted up her skirt slowly and ran a hand up her thigh.
Jillian couldn’t cover her surprise. Damian lifted her leg, placing it over his shoulder as he brought his lips to her body. Jillian was amazed at his self-control, his inventiveness, and his selflessness. She ran her fingers through Damian’s hair as his hands were stroking and gripping her behind. Overwhelmingly incredible sensations flowed through her. She tried to grip the wall as her breaths came faster.
Captain's Choice: A Romance Page 4