“Your parents let you think it was your fault.” Asher’s stomach twisted hard. He knew what it was like to actually cause harm to someone. Convinced she’d caused her friend’s death would have prompted the same horrible regret and self-loathing.
“No, they told me it was my fault. They told me one of my trainers had discovered us having sex in one of our hiding places, so my mother had to eliminate Griffin. He couldn’t be trusted, she said. She made me watch while Thing One drowned him. He held Griffin’s head under the water in the creek behind our house. Poor Griffin struggled. I wanted to help him, but Thing Two held me back. And then it was over. He was dead.” Sobs, deep and heartfelt, wracked her body. “His parents reported him missing, but I couldn’t tell anyone about his murder. My parents told me if anyone found out, I’d go to prison for his death. They’d tell the police I’d done it.” She stared wide-eyed into his eyes. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
He balled his hands, his fingernails biting into his palms. “Your parents really did a number on you. So many terrible acts of evil and heartlessness and deception, and all the while they were training you for something they wanted you to do for The Nexus Group.”
Her voice emotionless, she glanced up at him. “You want to know the worst of it? I miss my mother. She treated me with contempt. She beat me, she ignored me, and she called me a freak of nature. But hers was the only love I knew. I’m so confused.”
Asher rubbed his hand across his face. Of course she loved her parents. Even abused and neglected children loved their parents. He knew that. But the cruelty of it all tore at him like a jagged knife. “Kennedy, you’ll figure it all out. I think right now it would be dangerous for you to make contact with your parents. Just be patient and let your real family—Casey, the colony, and your real parents—give you the love and acceptance you deserve. You’re not a machine, you’re not a freak of nature, you’re not a weapon of mass destruction.”
She turned sorrowful eyes on him, gripping his heart. “Thank you for that. I just don’t know.”
“What you’ve done tonight, sharing your past with me, took courage and inner strength. You survived all that crap. It’s not coming back, because your colony is going to make sure of it.”
She smiled. “Thank you for listening and for helping.”
Footsteps grabbed their attention just before Casey appeared in the doorway, dressed only in flannel pajama bottoms. “Hey, are you two warm enough? It looks like the fire is done for the evening.” He ran his hand through his dreads and yawned widely.
“Yeah, sorry, Casey. I’ve been talking Asher’s head off. We should go.” Kennedy started to rise, but Casey raised his hand, halting her.
“No problem. You don’t need to leave.”
Relief fluttered through Asher’s body, easing the tension from his shoulders. They’d been so open with each other, he didn’t want to leave Kennedy at Lara’s. He wanted to stay connected. “Thanks, Casey.”
“Kennedy, Asher will show you to the guest room. Asher, you know where the bedding is. You can help yourself to the couch tonight.” Casey’s eyes glistened, teasing Asher.
“Sure, sure. Thanks. Go back to bed.” Asher shooed Casey away, then turned back to Kennedy. “I’m not leaving you alone tonight. If you’re okay with it, I’m going to sleep on top of the covers beside you.”
Chapter Four
Startled into waking, Kennedy slipped out of bed and headed for a window. She needed air, big gulps of it, and she needed it now.
She glanced at Asher sprawled on his stomach, still fully dressed but asleep. But she couldn’t think about him. The nightmare was more alive than the room she stood in. Its hold on her so real she couldn’t tell the difference. Her heart beat in her throat, panic pushing her to find air.
In the kitchen, she found a locked window. Desperation tightened her throat. The people in her nightmare still yelled at her, driving her out the front door. She stumbled down the front steps, breathing in cold pulls of air and reaching for a way out of the nightmare. “Kennedy, where are you? You can’t hide, Kennedy.” The voices hammered in her head. She’d heard them so many times. “Kennedy, what are you doing?”
Her arms flailing, she fought off the men. “Leave me alone!” she screamed. The shrill sound of an alarm told her they’d found her, again. “No!” She slumped to the cold ground.
“Kennedy, it’s me. Asher.”
Asher’s warm eyes directly in front of her got her attention. His hands on either side of her face penetrated the veil of the dark nightmare. She put a shaky hand to his face.
He caressed her cheek. “Let’s go inside.”
He helped her to her feet and led her back to the door, where Casey and Michelle stood watching.
Reality dawned, seeping through the troubled images in her mind. “So, the alarm was your house security system going off when I opened the door.” Asher led her to the living room and sat with her on the welcoming couch. Casey and Michelle followed.
“Right.” Casey rubbed his eyes.
Michelle flipped on a lamp, letting a soft light brighten the darkness that only she couldn’t see into. “It’s four o’clock in the morning. Anyone want coffee?”
“Can you two get back to sleep?” Casey asked Kennedy and Asher. “I think I’m up for the day.”
Guilt like a black hole sucked up Kennedy’s heart. “I’m sorry. I had a nightmare. I had to get air.”
“Want to talk about it?” Casey sat in one of the upholstered chairs. “There’s nothing to apologize for, Kennedy. We’re all familiar with a dark side of life and how it can invade our dreams.”
“That’s right.” Michelle took in deep breaths, breaths Kennedy imagined she needed to release the terror she’d picked up in the air. It was a fascinating thought.
“It must be hard for you, Michelle, to have to cope with being so sensitive. I’m sorry.”
Asher rolled his shoulder. “Again with the apology. It’s okay. Michelle knows how to take care of herself. What about your nightmare? What was happening?”
“Shut up, Asher.” Casey tossed a pillow at him, and Michelle went back to filling a carafe with water for coffee.
Kennedy shuddered. “No, I don’t mind. I was running away from Thing One and Thing Two, my handlers. And my mom. I couldn’t escape. The nightmare felt so real.”
“Do you know why they were chasing you?” Anger and need to protect Kennedy clenched Asher’s fists.
“No.”
Michelle joined them while the coffee brewed. “Is being chased and not being able to escape a regular dream for you?”
“It is. There are various settings. Some of them are crazy, like a maze of tunnels and I need to get out before my trainers catch me. My mom is usually yelling from somewhere.”
“So the dreams may be a manifestation of your underlying feeling of oppression, of need to escape the tyranny of your parents and your trainers, and the pain you experienced at the hands of other people. I know I’d certainly want to escape under those circumstances.”
“But I’m free now.” Michelle’s face softened, and Kennedy knew what she was thinking. “I haven’t escaped. I carry the experiences with me.”
“I’m not a psychiatrist, but that’s what I think is going on,” Michelle said. “It would be natural. You still need to process what’s happened to you. Parts of you are still living it.”
Kennedy stared at the floor. She knew she should say something, but her brain was spinning with too many years of lies. She didn’t want to let it slip that she still was living according to how others, the members of the colony, dictated. There were a lot of pieces to look at, and she needed time and space to do that. But she probably wasn’t going to get it. From what she knew about her parents and The Nexus Group, they’d soon be making another move to get her back.
• • •
Michelle handed Asher a mug of hot coffee. “Thanks, Michelle. You don’t need to wait on me.” He jumped up to follow her into the kitc
hen. “You grab your own coffee, and I’ll pass these other two mugs to Casey and Kennedy.”
Coffee all around, Asher settled on the couch again with Kennedy. Despite the touchy subjects they’d been discussing, the mood in the room swathed around the space, filling it with a sense of well-being. He’d learned so much last night about Kennedy’s life, hard stuff that could tear apart a person’s sanity, yet more questions niggled at him. What was her role in The Nexus Group’s next plans? Did she truly trust him, or was she faking?
He slanted his head in Kennedy’s direction. “Have you ever worked? You know, had a job?”
She laughed, a beautiful, bubbly laugh that made him smile. “Yes. I had to take online college courses.” She dipped her head. “My parents didn’t want me out on my own to attend classes on a university campus. My degree is in computer engineering. I mainly performed system analysis of my parents’ companies. My mother is a self-employed psychiatrist and my father is a Laurelwood County prosecutor. He also owns Solutions International, which is a company that assists leading businesses to enter international markets in the infrastructure, renewable energy, and technology sectors.”
Asher knitted his brow. Her description of her parents came out in a flat, almost-rehearsed manner. It made his skin crawl.
Casey lifted his mug to sip a steamy, dark roast, then swallowed thoughtfully. “We’re running research for more details about the Novaks, Kennedy. Meanwhile, how would you feel about meeting your biological parents?”
When she remained silent, Asher couldn’t help but fill the space. “These are the people who raised Casey, you know. I think he makes a good example of the kind of people they are.”
“I don’t disagree.” She bobbed her head from side to side, her eyes contemplative. “But they did give me away.”
Asher’s heart sunk as he watched Casey’s face sadden. All the air went out of the room.
“Is that what you think?” Casey rubbed his hand across his face.
“I was told my birth parents had died in an accident. Then later my mother told me the truth was they put me up for adoption when they discovered I was a were-lynx.”
“That had to hurt you very much,” Casey said. “But it’s not the truth. Neither one of those explanations. You were stolen by The Nexus Group the day you were born. Our parents were told their baby had died. They never even got to see you.” A low growl rumbled deep in his chest. “That’s the kind of thing that group does. Steals babies and then raises them to be who knows what? I don’t know. But the little of what you’ve described as your life sure hasn’t painted a pretty picture for you.”
Casey slammed his fist on the chair and eyed Asher. He got the message. Casey needed help. He focused his attention on the liquid energy in his center and tucked in suggestions. You want to remain calm, but firm. Kennedy has no sour intentions. Then he directed the energy on to Casey.
Casey breathed in a deep breath and let it out again. “I apologize for that. There was no excuse for getting so riled, Kennedy. I respect your relationship with Jonathan and Kathryn Novak. But I hope you’ll give our parents the benefit of the doubt, considering your parents have proven to be less than kind and truthful with you.”
She sat silent again, her face pensive, and Asher wondered what thoughts filled her mind right now. Uneasiness spread like fingers, reaching through his body and twisting around his throat. Kennedy presented puzzling reactions. He needed to spend more time looking for connections between Phoenix Biosciences and The Nexus Group. He’d like to know the members of the group all by name and occupation rather than as a secretive organization of no-names. First off, he’d like to know who was running the group now that William Carter was dead.
He rolled his shoulders and faced Kennedy. Her legs crossed, she swung one foot up and down, impatience sparking off her like static. “So maybe with your computer skills you could get our database up to date. I assume you either know how to do that or could ace it pretty quickly, with your procedural, photographic memory.”
Her face brightened. “I could do that. Is this database on your network? You do have a network, right? One that is only accessible to the colony?”
Asher slanted a smile. “Per se.”
“What does that mean?”
“We have a website that is private. We can communicate there, and we have files there. The database of all known were-cat colonies in the world and the genealogy of the lines of pures dating back centuries is in hard copy, I mean old, leather-bound books of actual paper. That moves around, but presently it’s being kept at my house—” He abandoned his sentence at a look of censor Casey sent him. “Well, we can talk more about it later.”
Kennedy’s eyes narrowed. “Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”
Asher didn’t miss the slight slump to her shoulders. Stuck between wanting to address her discomfort at waiting in limbo for her new life to take off and appreciating the need for caution, tension pulled his muscles taut.
Casey stretched his arms above his head. “Anyone want to get back under the covers or shall we tackle the day?”
Michelle laughed. “Tackle the day? That sounds ominous. What do you have in mind?” She glanced at the clock. “It’s only six o’clock, still early. But I want to stop by the Cats Alive new construction site, and then I’ll have to get to work.”
Asher scrubbed his hair, centering down on his plans for the day. He had plans to get work done for the newspaper, and then he had plans. Plans that had nothing to do with work but were more important to him right now. To find out more about TNG’s activities. “I have a game to cover this afternoon. I’ll have to write and file the piece, too. I should just go home and get ready for work.”
A quick glance at Kennedy told him her anxiety had been triggered. Her eyes were wide, and she was twisting a lock of her hair around her finger. He leaned in close and spoke softly. “Would you like me to take you to Lara’s apartment? I’m sure she’ll still be home.”
“Actually, I hoped you would stay with me today.”
Michelle smiled at Kennedy. “I’ll give you a quick tour of the new site for Cats Alive, and then we can spend the day at my job at Aegar Investigations. How does that sound?”
Kennedy nodded, her eyes shining. “I would love to learn about your cat rescue and help out at your office.” She thanked Asher for his offer, then stood. “Okay if I grab a quick shower?”
Michelle, already heading down the hall to the room she shared with Casey, tossed over her shoulder, “Yes, there’s plenty of time.”
Asher’s adrenaline picked up momentum, and he grew impatient to get to work and learn more specifics about Phoenix Biosciences. “Guess I’ll take off and get out of your way.” He nodded in Casey’s direction, but the look on his face kept Asher in his seat. “What is it? You look like you have something on your mind.”
Casey leaned forward in his chair. “I’m going to call a colony meeting. We can’t give Kennedy access to our database unless we have a consensus that it’s the right thing to do.” His voice was low, serious.
Asher’s gaze picked up the signs of the world waking up. Birds and squirrels outside the window created a flurry of activity as they went from feeder to feeder to partake of the different varieties of birdseed. Sunlight sparkled on the light coating of snow on the ground and tree branches. The scene should have calmed his nerves, but his insides continued to churn.
“You’re right,” he said, turning his attention back to Casey. “When?”
“I’ll let you know. Probably as soon as everyone is free. There’s been too much waiting and pondering. It’s been necessary, but I suspect The Nexus Group won’t let it go on much longer. They’re probably ramping up for something right now.”
Asher rose to his feet. “I’ll do some more investigation on the genomics research company, so for the next time we talk, I hope to have decent intel.”
Casey’s rumbling chuckle escaped his throat. “Intel. It sounds like our colony is a ring of spie
s.”
“Mission Kennedy.” Asher chuckled with Casey. But the mission was too serious to laugh for long.
Back in his truck after a brief stop at his apartment, Asher made quick work of getting to the newspaper building and settling down with coffee in front of his desktop.
He knew he wouldn’t find anything incriminating on the Phoenix Biosciences website, but it was a start. He clicked on News Room. Perusing the list of news releases gave him a sense of the company’s public face. The company investigated DNA sequencing and performed analysis to gain a greater understanding of human disease.
Asher dashed a look around the room. The idea of such a company with possible ties to William Carter Enterprises, i.e. The Nexus Group, made it hard to swallow. His gaze stopped on a release regarding use of implants featuring nanotechnology. He clicked on the release, his fingers tapping out a staccato beat on his desk.
The company clearly was using nanotechnology, the study of tiny, tiny things, to solve problems in everything from medicine and chemical engineering to space science. While that made Asher’s head spin, he gathered that it wasn’t the big news. The facility boasted a deep pipeline of products with potential for changing everything—governments, control over the environment, distribution of resources, the kinds of animals and humans on the planet—if not introduced with caution.
He scratched his head, his focus on thoughts jumping up in his mind for attention. What, he wondered, was the connection between Phoenix and the politician Daren Sage?
He entered Sage in a search. Handsome in an Ivy League way, Sage was forty-six years old, the son of a local pharmacist. Lots of social media praising his platform. A state senator for four years, he’d established a record of support for new technology and jobs to go with it. Lots of news articles, quotes from interviews. He read like a typical politician—plenty of words, little substance. But one thing grabbed Asher’s heart and squeezed.
According to the police blotter, Sage’s father was being investigated for selling prescription stimulants to abusers. That could mean the father already had connections in the crime world. Asher wondered how deep the illegal activity ran. He didn’t have to stretch his mind too far to imagine a direct connection to a member of The Nexus Group, especially since his son was getting financial support from Phoenix.
Cravings (Fierce Hearts) Page 6